running away to another state

[Guest]

Hi, and I hate my home. My parents are oppressively religious and hate everything I do. I live in south Carolina and I’m either going to Dover, Delaware or somewhere in Maryland where a friend of mine moved last year. Would it be illegal? I’m scared to death but also can’t take my life anymore

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thanks for contacting NRS! I am so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time at home. Nobody deserves to be made to feel that they cannot express themselves or be themselves. In regards to your question, it depends on your age. In South Carolina, the age of majority (age where you are no longer a minor) is 18 years old. If you were to leave home without your parents’ permission, they could file a runaway report with the police to help locate you and bring you home. Additionally, the friend/person housing you could also get in trouble for housing someone who has run away.



You do still have some options (potentially even local ones in South Carolina) and here at NRS, we are happy to discuss them with you. We have a hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) to talk through options or you can chat us on our website (https://www.1800runaway.org/). Both are available 24/7. In the meantime, I do want to offer up some other resources. In addition to our own line, some other organizations like crisistextline.org have a chatline as well and are used to talking with people going through very similar situations to your own. Also, if you are ever feeling unsafe at home, another organization (https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/) is available to potentially assist with that as well. Lastly, sometimes it can be helpful to discuss what you are going through with a friend or teacher. I hope everything works out for you, and do not hesitate to reach out!



Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Hey I’m 17 years old and I want to run away by taking a flight to another state and start a new life but what I am concerned about is that could my parents find out that I flew away to another state. And if I started working at the new place would they find out if the reported me as a missing child?

[ccsmod7]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for your message. You did the right thing reaching out. It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home that makes you want to leave. Know that you deserve to feel safe and happy where you live.

You mentioned concern about being a minor and running away to another state. At the NRS, we are not legal experts and the rules do vary state to state and even by situation. In general, if a minor runs away, their guardians can file a runaway report which will have the police looking for them. The police might then try to send the minor back home. Additionally, we do not know if the place where you would work would have contact with the police or if they would be able to find out about the runaway report.

One option that you have is to reach out to your local and non-emergency police with hypothetical and anonymous questions. The police can then help you gauge your rights. In addition, if you reach out to us through our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)) or our chat service on our website (www.1800runaway.org) and we can help you try to locate legal resources and aid in your area. We can also help you discuss other options such as emancipation, staying with a family member or friend, or talking to a counselor. We can also discuss healthy coping mechanisms if you decide to stay in the living arrangement. Also if you ever find yourself in danger, know that you can call 911 for immediate help.

Your safety is our priority.

Stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

hello im 14 and i'm considering on running away, it's been on my mind for so long now and i don't know what to do.



I live with my mother but she mentally and verbally abuses me, sometimes psychically.

I want to be safe, you know? but im scared i wanna see if i can go stay with a friend but would that persons mother get in trouble?

i just don't know what to do i wanna get away from this toxic household but i don't wanna live with my biological father and i still wann head to the same school. would that be possible? is foster possible? i'm just so confused i'm just upset stress and done with everything and want to get away.

[ccsmod10]

hello im 14 and i'm considering on running away, it's been on my mind for so long now and i don't know what to do.



I live with my mother but she mentally and verbally abuses me, sometimes psychically.

I want to be safe, you know? but im scared i wanna see if i can go stay with a friend but would that persons mother get in trouble?

i just don't know what to do i wanna get away from this toxic household but i don't wanna live with my biological father and i still wann head to the same school. would that be possible? is foster possible? i'm just so confused i'm just upset stress and done with everything and want to get away.

We're really thankful you reached out to us. It sounds like you've had a lot on your plate, and it's much easier to process things like this with someone than to do so alone. (Still challenging... but easier).

It sounds like living with your mother has progressively felt more unsafe-- emotionally and possible physically. It sounds like you have things going on in life that you like, but your home environment has been more draining than supportive. It's not fun to feel confused/upset/stressed, but it absolutely makes sense you feel that way.

You always have options and we're here to talk them through with you. If you go to stay with a friend without your parent/guardian's permission, your parent could report that you were missing. If they did so, police would try to investigate where you were and likely try to return you home. If the person you were staying with did not notify police you were there, they could possibly get charged with a crime.

Entering the foster care system would most likely only happen if the abuse at home worsened (which we hope doesn't happen). That would involve reporting what's been happening to Child Protective Services (which we can do with you over the phone or live chat if you feel you want to).

It could be worth discussing this with people that you trust-- friends, family members, teachers/counselor at school that you like.

If you'd like you can always call us or live chat us (1800runaway.org) and we can talk through more specific possible solutions based on your situation. You do not have to handle this alone.

[Guest]

I'm 15. I've been planning on running away the past minth. My parents don't get me. I live in Alaska and need to get to Washington. I'm planning on flying but I don't know what all I need to get a ticket. What kind of id would I need?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We recognize that it takes both courage and strength to seek help, and we are happy to be of support for you. We encourage you to please call 911 if you find yourself at risk or in immediate danger.

With the consideration that you are 15, you are not legally recognized as an adult. Planes typically require a person to have a driver's license, state ID, or passport with them in order to board the plane. You could contact the airline directly and ask them any questions you have, or check their website to see if they have the information listed on there.

We welcome you to reach out to us if you would like further support regarding your situation. We would be happy to offer you further resources, to ensure your well-being and safety. You can do so by contacting us via chat, found on our website at www.1800runaway.org or you may give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Our services operate 24/7, so you may reach out at any time of day.

We wish you health, peace, and safety.

Kindly,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello, I am a Massachusetts mother to an adult transwoman “A” who lives with me (23 y.o). She has a transwoman friend in Texas, “E” who is 19. They met on-line and have “known” each other for 2 years. E’s family does not accept her gender identity and is abusive (physically and emotionally) and isolates her from others. E is going to an event in another state without her parents in 1 week. A and E have made a plan for A to go meet her and bring her to Mass. We agree to this and have even paid for the airline tickets. We’re willing to have her in our home for a couple of months while she gets on her feet. We consulted a lawyer about this who confirmed that, since E is 19, this is all legal, with her only advice being that E leave behind a note saying that she is going of her own free will (i.e. has not been kidnapped, etc). But we are anxious about how she is going to cope with this transition. She is very anxious that her family will find her. And she will likely feel some regrets. Thankfully, another trans youth friend has a therapist who has already offered to provide E with free phone therapy, so that’s great. I’m also worried that, once here, it will be hard for her to get out on her own - she’s never lived on her own before. Any advice is welcome, thanks!

[ccsmod15]

Hello, thank you for reaching out to the NRS. It’s so great to hear that you’re willing to open your home to a young person in need. There aren’t many people who would be that generous to someone they don’t know : ) E must be very grateful to have this opportunity. From an outside perspective, it looks like you’re actually more prepared than you might think ! You’ve consulted legal professionals, established a form of counseling for her if she needs it, and you’ve set a timeline to plan around ! It’s probably very nerve racking to be taking in a youth who is dealing with so much in her life, but we assure you that you’re taking all the right steps !



Also, in regards to her concerns about her family searching for her, she can choose to not disclose her location to them and to take whatever steps she needs to in order to ensure they can’t find her. Leaving a note is also a good idea because it will lower the risk of them actively seeking her out. She could also give them a way to contact her so they can reach on her own terms (such as making a specific email for them to reach her through and blocking all other forms of contact). We do offer a Message service so that parents can't track the number used to contact them, or a Conference call if they want to speak face to face but again without risking a phone number being exposed and with a mediator.



Overall, the more control she is able to have in her life, the more she is likely to adjust well. In terms of finding a job, she can ask around and call retail stores near the area, just to introduce herself and see what her options are. She can also look into transitional housing programs and support services offered to LGBTQ+ individuals to see what kind of options there are to help her get her own place. However, you seem to be planning really well on your own and preparing as well as possible ! If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us again

[Guest]

Thank you for your reassurance, it means a lot to me!

[Guest]

Hi I’m from Montana and I’m trying to runaway to Oklahoma Lawton. But my concern is that my town doesn’t have any busses here, I’m underage so I cannot drive. I also want to keep my phone but I’m scared that the police can track my phone. Do you maybe have any methods on how to get there?

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It definitely seems like you’re having a difficult time in Montana which is really unfortunate! Running away is a huge decision and to run so far, makes things even more scary for anyone.

While you didn’t mention your specific age but indicated that you are underage, the internet reports that the legal age of Adulthood in Montana is 18 years old. That said, it appears it is not against the law to run away, but if you were met by law enforcement, you would likely be returned home. Crossing state lines may also be a problem. Depending upon whom you would be staying with in Oklahoma, that party, if adult age, could be considered ‘harboring a minor’ in both Oklahoma and Montana. Please note that we are not a legal organization—all of this information has been gathered by a simple internet search.

It would really be great if you could reach out to us here at NRS so we could get a bit more information from you so we can be of more assistance. Here at NRS we have a database of resources that could be helpful to you with regards to possible shelters to contact near where you live in Montana as well as perhaps looking into some assistance in better dealing what you may be going through that has made you consider leaving home. . We are available 24/7 at www.1800runaway.org via our chat option or at 1-800-786-2929 if you would like to speak to someone personally.

Again, thank you for reaching out. Hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

National Runaway Safeline

[Guest]

Hello I'm **********

I've ran away from home and my parents are looking for me I'm 17 and I turn 28 next year.... My parents aren't exactly abusive but some of the stuff that they have done and things that they have said make me uncomfortable and very sad and they are stressing me out and I'm stressing them out....
I just had to step away and I'm trying to get to a different state...I currently live in Michigan and I wanna get on a bus but I'm afraid my id will be flagged.... How do I get around that....

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like it wasn't safe for you at home and that you have run because of that.

No one but police would know that you have run away based on your name, so your ID wouldn't be "flagged" at a bus station. In Michigan, running away is not a crime, it's a status offence: meaning, it's a think you can't do based on your status as a minor.
We hope that you will contact our live services so we can talk about this with you. You can chat us through this website or call our hotline at 1-800786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY)
We hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to run away to another state but i have no money or transportation

[ccsmod15]

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes a lot of bravery to reach out for help.

We’re sorry to hear that you live in a home you feel the need to run away from. Running away is a big decision as you could be found by police and returned home. So, it can be important to consider if you can make your home feel more safe by talking to those you live with or building a support system in your area. It is also smart of you to try to make a plan. While money and transportation are important considerations to make when thinking about running away, so is what you are going to bring with you and where you are going to go. It can be helpful to bring important documents, and you could reach out to friends and family members about staying with them. These same individuals may be able to help support you financially until you are able to do so yourself and offer you transportation to their homes. One way you could work towards financially supporting yourself would be finding a job if you are old enough. If you would like to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at our website, we could help you find some shelters and transitional living programs, which help you prepare to live on your own, to stay in in your area and talk through more options you may find helpful. Some shelters may offer transportation to them as well.

Thank you again for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Feel free to reach out anytime as we are available 24/7 and are completely confidential. Best of luck!

[Guest]

Hello, I am 17 Years old I will be 18 in october. I currently live in las vegas and want to leave for California. my mother is not the best to me she makes me feel like I'm nothing. she tells me that she will kill me with no remorse, she doesn't care for my feelings, she's the only one that cares for me and that she is my only mother. she says everything I do for attention. she likes to read through me notebooks then gets mad and downgrades me say I'm dumb lazy when I do everything. she never cleans. I told her all she does is make me clean like I'm her maid and she punched me in the mouth. I'm totally done with this kind of treatment. I already have my plan put together. I have a $50 bus ticket I have two family members that live in different cities but we don't talk. I have an aunt who lives out in Cali also but she has a lot going on in her life right now and I don't want to be a bother of anything. I just want to feel free and not feel like I'm in an abusive relationship. If I don't make it to Cali or at least away from her I'm going to kill myself. How should I go about it?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. That sounds like an extremely stressful situation with your mother and you do not deserve the way she has been treating you. One option is to report the physical abuse and threat to kill you to Child Protective services, the number for Vegas is 702-399-0081. It sounds like you have been building a plan which is always helpful before leaving so you know you will be safe. You mentioned that you don’t talk to the family members in California, but would you have a way to contact them to see if they could house you? You absolutely deserve to be free and not in an abusive situation. Also you mentioned you turn 18 in about 2 months, is it possible for you to wait until then when legally you can go wherever you want or what do you think your mom would do if you left with being so close to 18? If you feel you are in immediate danger, please call 911.

If you would like to discuss this further or talk about other options that might help you get to a safer place, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I’m 13 Years Old, and I live in Chicago. I hate my life, I hate my family, I hate everything.

Every single person in my family hates me just because I’m very smart & have autism, I have been severely bullied about this at school, to the point when I was 11 where I threatened the Principal To have the school Shut down if they Didn’t do anything about my bullies and threatened to hurt some people (Included Students, Faculty, Etc.), I was given a 2 1/2 month suspension for threatening Assault on others, and after my suspension I was given After-School detention for 2 Weeks.

I Have Mental Health Issues, ADHD, PTSD, And Autism

My Biological Dad Left Me, My Mom, And My Sister After She Was Born In 2011, My Mom Remarried In 2017, My Stepfather And I, Have An Extremely Toxic Relationship, When He first moved in 2 Months after marrying my mom, he Immediately Said My Room Was Now His, And Told Me I Was Moving Into The Basement, I Told Him I did not agree to it, he then proceeded to push me to the ground, and then threatened to beat me with A Belt, and force me to sleep outside for the night, Then Before Driving off to get the family dinner, he told Me I Had 50 hours to Get everything Out of my room, and that anything that was left behind was now “his”. When I Was 10, I Called The Cops To Report My Stepfather to the police, however the cops didn’t Believe me, and threaten to send me To juvie if they got another fake call to the address again, after the cops left, my Stepfather beat me A’lot, to the point in the aftermath of it, I was so weak, that I couldn’t even move for the rest of night. I was so bloodied, and bruised, that I thought I was gonna die. The next morning I was woken up really early, and I was forced to wear makeup until my Wounds Healed.

My 1st time running away, is when I ran away with a group of 7 friends last may, before the last week of school, we were planning to go to a friends parent’s Cabin about a half hour near Lake Michigan In Wisconsin And Spend The Summer There, One of the friends in the group brought her older Twin Siblings with (Both M & F 1 They took their parents SUV Without their consent, and that was Our way of transportation to the cabin, after about 2 1/2 Weeks there, the Cops found out where we were, and we were all arrested & detained. me & my 4 friends were sent back home, while The other 2 Were Charged As Adults with Grand Theft Auto, Criminal Trespassing, And Harassment. They Were Both given 24 Months Prison Time, But Are Expected To Be Released In About a Week Or 2 (Because Both Are Eligible For Parole), As for me & my 4 Friends we were All Given 8 Months Juvenile Probation. As punishment I have all my electronics taken away from me & I had to earn my parent’s trust to get them back, and had my 12th birthday Cancelled.

I’m now 13, and I Started to plan my runaway to California, My expected time to leave is next year after my 14th birthday, I have told my group of friend’s about this (The Same Group Of Friend’s BTW) they have offered to come with me, but I have said I’m doing this on my own, However, there’s A lot of problems about this.

- I’m Extremely Low On Cash (I Have $45.37) & Need to figure out out how to make some cash to keep me on my Feet in California
- I Have No Method Of Transportation to get to California
- I Have No Family / Friends To turn to in California
- I Have No Where to go to in California, I have emailed every youth shelter in Los Angeles & San Jose, But I have yet to hear a word from any of those shelters.
- I Have also considered Leaving everything behind, and starting a New Life In Mexico or Canada. but I cannot get access to my passport, because it’s in a safe in my mom’s Home Office, that only she has the access code to.

At this point, I don’t know what to do, I could really use Some advice.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you already know some information about runaway laws, but it can't hurt to have a little more.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. Traveling at your age could be dangerous, and you would likely be reported by concerned adults. In many cases, you have to have an adult with you to travel long distances on buses, trains, and airplanes.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
You mentioned being harmed by your step-father. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

How can i leave arizona where my stepdad and mom live and go to my dad and stepmom without hurting my dad or stepmom. I've wanted to remove back to colorado buy haven't because of my mom manipulating me im 15 yrs old and can't handle it.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you are reaching out for help—that takes a lot of bravery. It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time right with life at home and your mom. We are sorry to hear that home isn’t a place where you feel supported and loved unconditionally.

While we are not legal experts here at NRS, we can offer some suggestions to consider. Since you are 15 years old not legally considered an adult (age of 18 is considered a adult in state of Arizona), if mom has full custody of you and you leave without her permission, she may be able to reach out to local law enforcement and file a missing child report where you name, date of birth, and other basic information goes into a national database and they may attempt to contact your dad in Colorado. If dad doesn’t have full guardianship of you and keeps you at his house for more than 24 hours (the exact time varies per state), then he may be charged with something called “harboring a runaway.” This is a fancy legal term for kidnapping. Although he is your dad, this is the current law in terms of youth that runs away without guardian's (i.e. your mom) approval.

Another option to consider is looking into emancipation laws in your state. Emancipation is a law where a minor (meaning someone under the age of 18 years old) can be considered an adult if he or she is able to prove that they can financially support themselves, are legally married, or are active in the military. We are not experts in this legal area, but often the process may take a few months and you will need to go before a judge to explain your case. A resource that may be helpful in answering questions related to this is the National Center for Youth Law Agency at (510) 835-8098 (www.youthlaw.org/).

While we do not blame you for wanting to remove yourself from the situation, an idea is to consider if there is anything that you can change right now to reduce time spent at home. Perhaps, join an afterschool program or sports team to reduce the number of hours you must be home or find an activity or even job that could give you more freedom and less time spent at home. Many towns and cities have organizations such as a “Boys & Girls’ Club” (www.bcga.org or (404) 487-5700 or YMCA ((732) 290-9040) which is a place where you can meet people your age afterschool, enjoy your time, but remain away from home until later in the evening. This may allow you to meet new people in a way that seems “normal” to your mom who may not understand that a “stranger” in the online world is a way to meet people, as well. In other words, you can obtain freedom by doing it in such a way that mom doesn’t feel entirely threatened.

We’re sure you have already thought all this out, but if you do decide to leave, perhaps tell a trusted friend or relative of where you intend to go and please be cautious and place your safety as utmost priority (if you ever feel unsafe, you can text the word “safe” to 4HELP (44357) to receive a message of the closet Safe Place to go.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS