running away to another state

[Guest]

Hi, im 16 and my boyfriend is 18 we been together for over one year and we have a good relationship and we are distant by cities but live in the same state. He lives pretty far and we always talk about how much we want to see each other. He's been abused lately by his mom and currently going through a suicidal process, I am too but we want to see each other and run away from everything. I've been thinking and planning to go see him and he wants to see me. I'm just worried about my mom getting the police on me again. I have run away from home when I was 14 due to my mother abusing drugs and emotionally abusing me. I wanted to run away from her and forgery everything. Can you help me out?

[ccsmod15]

Hey,

Thank you for reaching out, we know it can be hard to seek out help, and we are glad you are comfortable enough to let us know what has been going on. It seems you have been going through a lot with previously running away because of your mother abusing you emotionally, and you do not deserve to be treated that way, on top of being there for your boyfriend. We are glad your boyfriend has someone advocating for his well-being during this time and it is unfair that his mother has abused him and made him feel like he is unable to express himself.

It sounds like the abuse your boyfriend has been experiencing is impacting him negatively where he is now finding himself going through a suicidal process. He is not alone and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is an organization that is able to provide a listening ear for him and help him talk through what he has been going through. They are a 24/7 lifeline and can give them a call at anytime at 1-800-273-8255 or start a live chat with them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Now we are not legal experts, but if you were to decide to run away to see your boyfriend, because you are still a minor, your mom has every right to file a runaway report with the police. What that would look like would be that there is a possibility that the police may or may not search for you and if they find you there is the possibility that they could detain you until your mom picks you up or they would take you home. Because your boyfriend is 18 and considered an adult, there could be some issues that could stem off you running away to him and if they find you at a friends or family members in which your mom did not approve of, there is also the possibility that they can be at risk for being charged with a misdemeanor for harboring a runaway.

If you want to talk more in depth about what is going on and what other options you may have, do not hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or start a live chat with us at www.1800runaway.org. We are 24/7 and completely confidential. We are here for you and here to listen.

[Guest]

Hi I’m 15 I want to run away to another state? My question is what state can I runaway to and they won’t sent me back to where I’m currently living??

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.

We are mainly here for support and help find some guidance to local resources that might be able to help a youth through their particular situation and we aren’t here to tell you what to do because you know your situation a lot better than we do. We also aren’t a place that provides a guide or tips to running away or how not to get caught. We just want you to know your options and with whatever you choose that you’re safe and not on the streets.

It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse.

Hope to hear from you!

[Guest]

Hi.... I’m not saying my name cause I don’t want to get caught. I am abused by my mother. My father killed himself a few years ago im 16 and have been working since 14. I have money saved up. I’m currently in Missouri, i want to run away to California to live with my best friend. We have everything planned and ready. However, how likely is it that i get caught? I have a car and drained all the money from my bank into cash. I plan on wearing a wig and changing my look. I also look older thank i am. My mother also thinks i hate this person. What is the likelihood of me getting caught before im 18. How long does the search go on before they give up. I also have a history of making reports of the abuse and calling the police.

[ccsmod3]

Hello and thanks for reaching out on our forum.

It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on between your father killing himself and your mother’s abuse. We hope you realize that neither is your fault and you don’t deserve to be abused regardless of your age. A few resources you might find helpful are the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s “Loss Survivors” resources: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.or...oss-survivors/ and Childhelp’s information and supportive services for those dealing with abuse: https://www.childhelp.org/. It sounds like you and a friend have a plan to run away and at the same time you are concerned about getting caught. Please know we are not here to judge you or tell you which decision to make. We care about your safety and recognize that safety can look different depending on your unique situation.

In terms of the likelihood of getting caught, it can be difficult to know for sure. We can tell you have runaway/missing juvenile reports tend to work. For example, if you leave home without permission as a minor and your parent/guardian files a report with the police, it typically gets entered into the NCIC (National Crime Information Center.) This gives access to law enforcement across the U.S. so that not just your local police department is aware you are a runaway/missing juvenile. In terms of actively searching, that can depend on the police. Sometimes police actively search and other times they come across a runaway/missing juvenile through a simple traffic stop. Another current factor might be that several states and communities are following “stay at home” orders due to COVID-19.

It sounds like your plan is to use your savings and drive from Missouri to California and you’re at the point now where you are trying to address your concerns with getting caught. We’d be happy to talk to you further about your plan and encourage you reach out to us via Live Chat for a one-on-one conversation. You are welcome to start a chat by following this link: https://na0messaging.icarol.com/Cons...d=254&cc=en-US.

Hopefully this helps and we hope you’re able to keep yourself safe while you work out your plan.

Best,

[Guest]

Hi, i’m 17 i turn 18 in January. I live in pennsylvania right now with my dad whom i met 4 months ago. i’ve lived in Florida my whole life and i’ve been in this relationship for 3 years now and i’ve lived with my boyfriend in florida for 2 years before i came up here. I want to leave and go back to Florida. would Florida be forced to bring me back to pennsylvania even though i’ve lived there my whole life and don’t want to be up in pennsylvania? my boyfriend is also 18 now, would he get in trouble for letting me come and live with him again?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, to be able to legally live elsewhere, your dad (or whoever your legal guardian is) would have to give you permission to move in with your boyfriend. If you do opt to leave your home your dad can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

Since your boyfriend is 18, if you were found at his place he could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Penalties for harboring a runaway vary from state to state, police officer to officer, and how your dad views the situation.


If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hi i’m shayla & i’m 13.
my boyfriend is 14 and he lives in minnesota i live in florida.
i know my parents won’t let me meet him cause they don’t wanna travel all the way to minnesota.
so how can i get there?
i really wanna see him.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,

You mentioned wanting to know how you can travel to see your boyfriend. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. If you call our hotline, we can also do a conference call with your parents. You may be able to talk to them about having a supervised visit where they travel there with you. That way they know you are safe. Unfortunately, we do not give advice, and you may find it difficult to travel independently because of your age. You can contact us by chat or through the hotline to talk about your situation in more detail.

Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Be safe,

NRS

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[Guest]

i want to run away with a friend to illinions from washington state. ive ran away before but i went to a friends house where i got caught ive also ran away to someone elses house not knowing i have a tracker on my phone. ive never been reported to the police. but i was wondering..if i run away will the cops in illinois post a missing report for me?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. If you’d like additional support or resources please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours, 7 days a week or chat with us online by going to www.1800RUNAWAY.org.

Be safe!

[Guest]

I am about to turn 17 and was wondering if I could go live in Utah with my grandma without parent consent because i think it’s best for me. I live in Texas right now.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey, I’m a 16 year old turning 17 in may. I live in Michigan and I want to move to Wisconsin when I turn 17 and I know that according to law the police cannot forcefully bring you home in less you’re in danger. But I don’t know about running away to another state if then they can forcefully bring me home or not. I want to move in with my aunt and help rent a place with her but can she get arrested for aiding and abedding a runaway? Can she get charged with harboring a runaway? I plan to move to Wisconsin, get a job and start my life and get emancipated this summer but I just wanted to know if my aunt or I could get charged.

[ccsmod16]

Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. You didn’t mention your reasons for wanting to leave and live with your aunt, but we understand that youth want to run away because of things happening to them at home.

We are not legal experts, but it is possible for your aunt to have trouble for taking you in. There is not a law for harboring, but for intentionally concealing, or with holding a youth from the guardian is considered a crime. This is the big answer, but if we can talk together, we can help you identify some options for your situation.

We would like to talk this over with you and we are here for you 24/7. The best way for us to help you is if we can talk together either by phone at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org We are here to listen and help, and we hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello im ******* from IL, I’m 15 soon about to be 16. I want to runaway to MD from IL to get more opportunities since i really want to go to MD since there is a specific school that is my dream high school that i really want to go to. My mom don’t understand me and is close minded. I talked about it with my parents but my mom didn’t agreed that i should move there too far and i tires my best to conceived her that sometimes she has to let her daughter go so i can move there with my dad but as i said she don’t agree so i can’t go there. It my dream high school since it has really good medical clubs etc and i would think what jobs i want to do in the future in MD, also i can restart my life there and here it alright but heard that there is the best to go to college and everything. If i run away leaving a note behind the reasons and take bus to arrive there, And i went to my other side of my family house would they get in trouble? or would my parents be in trouble?, cps getting on me?

[ccsmod0]

Hey there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It is great that you are trying to prioritize your education and trying to be responsible by making a plan. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

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[Guest]

Is it better to run away during the day or around midnight? I'm on a sort of probation at home so my parents won't leave the house without me. I'm not in trouble with the law or anything, and I know for sure that I'm going to run away soon, I just don't know if it would be safer during the day or at night.

I've also been wondering if I should go to a different city or maybe even state. I would love to stay in Texas but if I go to a different city or state will I have less chance of getting caught?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, it takes great courage to reach out and we appreciate you for reaching out to us.
You have some really great questions, which is great that you are thinking about your safety. It can be dangerous no matter what time of day you decide to run away. You know your situation the best so we will let you decide if running away is the best decision for you.
We do have some information although we are not legal experts we can tell you what may happen. If you leave home without permission your legal guardian can file a runaway report. If the police do find you regardless of what state, you are in they may bring you back home. Also if you do decide to run away you are at a higher risk of danger and homelessness.
If you would like to ask more questions or explore your options further, please chat with us or give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

What should I bring with me to keep me safe if I leave home?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
Leaving home is a big decision, because you know your situation the best only you can make the decision if leaving home is best for you. Safety is the top priority and you can call or chat with us and we can help you with a safety plan.
If you would like to talk further about your situation or have any more questions, please call or chat with us. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hay im 17 and live in lagrange tennessee and my grandparents have lied their way out of things when i try to get away from them or tell someone what they do its emotional and verbal abuse and its making me sick i want to runaway and go somwhere but im not sure if i will be forced to return home if im found can anyone give me any advice plz thanks its urgent

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

We appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation and taking the time to make a post on our Bulletin. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. Emotional abuse does get overwhelming and it can be tough to cope with on your own. Abuse of any kind is never okay and not your fault. You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported.

While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally on this. If you leave home without permission as a minor, your grandparents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, so you would not get into any legal trouble. But it is a status offense which means your grandparents can ask that police return you home if they know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement. Now, there is not a universal way that police respond to runaway reports and protocol can vary. Some police departments do not enforce a runaway report for someone so close to turning 18. You can call the non-emergency line for your local or county police department (anonymously if you would like) to ask questions about their runaway protocol to learn more about what might happen if you leave home.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

im wondering about running away.
This may be a weird reason why im running away but its because of how little effort i put into my school work,and i got my results and saw i failed my school year and need and need to go to summer school,i know its a childish reason to run away but i have promisd my parents that i'd do better and ever since 6th grade i have been giving them nothing but low grades,due to the fact that i dont put lots of hard work into my h.w. I cant take this guilt anymore and i want to leave,im 14 years old and i dont have much money saved at the moment and i want to run away from nyc to west vigenia.

But im wondering right now about the travel, lets just say i have a good amount of money with me, is it ok for me to book a hotel room or find a suddel place to rest outside?
If i sleep outside will it be bad for me, i know there are lots of ways someone can hurt a person but will it be the best for me? Or will sleeping in a hotel do it better,even tho there are security cameras around the builting and they can easliy see my face (even with a hat on)?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on at home and with school. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
Because of your age, it is very unlikely you will be able to travel alone. A hotel would be unable to provide a room for you as you are a minor and do not own a credit card as well. Staying outside can also be very dangerous.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

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[Guest]

I think I'm going to run away today. What foods should I bring with me?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Running away is a big decision and we want you to know that you are not alone. As far as foods to bring it is kind of hard to say without knowing the whole situation for example if you have a place to cook food.
We would like to talk about your situation further to best help you. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS