I'm 17 in Illinois, living in a hellhole

[Danielle]

I have been living in what I refer to as a "hellhole" for the past 17 years. Both of my parents are emotionally abusive and almost physical at some points, but they haven't touched me. There is constant fighting and not a moment of peace unless I'm trying to sleep. I have ended up in mental hospitals because of what I am forced to call "my home." I have tried to kill myself on countless occasions and even spent my Sweet 16 in a hospital. They treat my younger brother like an angel and me like a demon straight from hell. I try so hard to please them, but it's never enough. I will be 18 in seven months (March 2015) and I'm looking for guidance as to what can happen if I move out right now. In Illinois, I'm not sure if they can file me as a runaway or not. I will still be going to my school and everything, I'll be living with my boyfriend of 2 years who has his own place with his childhood best friend and his girlfriend. He already has it approved by his landlord and the only problem is my parents. One more problem is my car is under their name and I'm making payments to them, so I'm not too sure how that will work out. My boyfriend and I are very well together, spending every free moment we have with each other, even if it's just for 10 minutes and we plan on getting married after I graduate. The problem with him is my parents don't know about him. They know we are friends but nothing more. Honestly, I am not too sure how much longer I can handle living at home. Another problem is I will be giving my brother a ride to and from school everyday so that could be an issue, especially with the car thing. Would I have to get the title in my name before I could do anything? My boyfriend and I already had plans to run away as soon as I graduate, but I don't know if i can tolerate this place for that long. Help?

[ccsmod14]

Re: I'm 17 in Illinois, living in a hellhole

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have been going through a lot and we are sorry to hear that. We are here to support you the best that we can.

It sounds like you have thought about killing yourself and you have tried before. This has got to be really hard. We want to give you a 24/7 hotline that you can call anytime, in addition to ours at 1800runaway, that you are feeling like you want to end your life. When you are having these thoughts, what helps you get through them? Do you speak to a counselor? Here at National Runaway Safeline we have a large database of different resources, including counseling if you would like us to locate any such resources near you.

It is really good to hear that you have such support from your boyfriend, especially when things are so tough at home. Is there anyone else that has provided you with support that you speak to? It sounds like you are thinking about living with him, but that you have a lot of questions regarding moving out. We want to let you know that we are not legal experts here at National Runaway Safeline, but that we can look up legal aid for you as well that might be of more help regarding any legal questions that you have. What we can tell you is that running away is not illegal. It is a status offense, which is most similar to a parking ticket. Typically, if your guardians were to make a runaway report, and the police found you, they would just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with when you are of runaway status could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway. Another resource that you could contact to get more information is your local police department, because laws vary state by state, and they can be handled differently depending on even different police departments.

It sounds like you have been having trouble communicating with your parents. We want to let you know that here at National Runaway Safeline we offer conference calling with youth and guardians. This means that if you were to call into our 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline at 1800runaway, we could call out to your guardian and mediate a conversation between the two of you as a facilitator to make sure that you are being heard in everything that you would like to communicate.

We are here to support you the best that we can. If you would like to talk more about your situation or explore more options, we are here 24/7. We also have a chat option available from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST through our website at 1800runaway.org.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS