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16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest started a topic 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

    16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

    I'm 16 years old and live in Pennsylvania, I'm living with an emotionally abusive mother. I can't take it anymore it has been this way for years and I want out. My dad refuses to help me or stand up for me. I have grandparents /friends and a boyfriend willing to help me. I have had a job for 3 years and I have my permit. I can't take it anymore and I need advice. I was looking into becoming legally declared and adult but since my parents are foster parents it would be almost impossible to do. I need help.

  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m not scared to tell you who I am. My name is Katelyn rose and my mom is abusive. If I say something she doesn’t like she hits me. If I try to tell her about my depression and anxiety she tells me that I need to go on medicine and to shut up about it. She rolls her eyes when I tell her I’m having a panic attack she says I am being dramatic. I’m 16 turning 17 in August I can’t live here anymore mental health is deteriorating fast. It seems like all I do is make her mad. I can’t voice my opinion I can’t stand up for myself. I have told a very close person that all this is going on and they are trying to help but don’t know how. I can’t stand being threatened and slapped around. I shouldn’t go through that. She says that I talk back to much. I can just ask a question and she’s in my face screaming and spitting on me. I need out but what can I do?? My friends mom wants to take me in as her own. I can’t get emancipated because she won’t let me get a job. She won’t sign off on the papers. I take care of my 3 brothers and sister. I raised them. I stay up till 3 waiting for her to get home after hanging out with a friend ( she doesn’t do it frequently ). I need help before it becomes to much. I feel like this is the reason why my cousin committed suicide in Jan 13, 2017. Too much pressure to much abuse to much stress

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension between your parents and yourself. You should never have been told such hurtful things by the person living in your home. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    It sounds like your parents aren’t listening to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom or dad so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    You brought up that you have been having anxiety and depression and have some issues regarding feelings of abandonment. It can be really hard to face these kinds of issues alone. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm a 16 yr old living in an emotionally abusive house, and it's so frustrating, it's been like this for as long as I can remember and it hurts so much at this point. My parents fight and say stuff in front of us, and whenever I try to help or anything I just get told it's none of my business. My mom moved a stranger into the house before after her and my dad broke up and he was super abusive to me. He had told me to kill myself, cut myself, that I should've been aborted, that I was the spawn of the devil, and much more. I'm not a bad kid I don't understand why I have to live in this hell. My mom didn't really do anything about it until he told me to kill myself. Then he got kicked out, she eventually ended up getting back with my dad and (present) they've recently broken up again and me, my brother, and my mom got kicked out of our appartment, and my dad has no where to go but we're living with my grandpa. I have abandonment issues from when my dad "left" when I was younger (he was kept away from me by my mom) and abandonment issues from my mother too. They both say things that tear me apart. Today I told my mom that if they're going to treat me this way why don't they just get rid of me, and she said she's trying to find a solution, insinuating that she was thinking about it, and my dad when he gets mad and they fight, my mom will say he's a bad father and he said that he wouldn't be our father for long and that I could find him when I'm 18. I love my dad but that hurt terribly, he explained after that he didn't mean it that way but I feel like I'm dying inside. I've have very bad anxiety and depressiom issues and I was thinking what would be best at this point is to get emancipated or move in with a friend, but my mother won't let me, I'm not sure what to do, I've tried ways to stop the pain but they never work I just feel trapped, I'm not going to kms or anythi g I just... I'm tired of this pain I feel like I wanna scream and cry because the pain in my heart and I don't know what to do

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  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there -

    Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can.

    Now we aren't legal experts here but like we tell a lot of our callers, the laws on that specific subject of running away vary from state to state. If the youth is filed as a file a runaway report, the parents can choose to press charges on those for harboring a runaway (ie. friend, neighbor, etc). Harboring a runaway is when that party are not giving accurate information on a runaways whereabouts. That could lead to a number of different legal issues such as misdemeanor charges (fines or jail charges). From what we know it isn’t something that typically happens, but it is in place to detour individuals from helping runaway minors from not returning home or lying on a runaways behalf. So it really just depends on how the youth's parents are going to react.

    Hope this information helps!
    Last edited by ccsmod8; 06-14-2019, 02:35 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    can you be arrested in Georgia fir permitting a 16 and a half runaway spend some time in your home?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: Hi I'm 16 years old


    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and sharing your situation with us. It is a courageous step to take that is not always easy. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Becoming pregnant and feeling unprepared or unsure of what to do next can be a scary thing to face. We are always here to listen and help as best as possible. Taking this step by step can help to make this stressful time a little less overwhelming. We understand that this situation has you in fear of the way you feel that your mother will react. Identifying people in your life that you can trust to support you during this time may be a good start to seeking help and exploring your options. It sounds like you have some folks that are willing to support you during this time. Good for you.

    Proper health care can be important in whatever you choose to do. If you would like to explore prenatal services One way to reach a doctor and find useful resources that specialize in women’s health/pregnancy is to contact Planned Parenthood at 1800-230-7526 or go to their website at https://www.plannedparenthood.org/.


    If you’d like additional support or resources please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours, 7 days a week or chat with us online by going to www.1800RUNAWAY.org.
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Take care,
    NRS


    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I'm 16 years old and I'm here because there's a chance that could be pregnant and if I am my parents would literally kill me I need to know how I could leave like move in with my godmother she knows how terrible my mom is and she knows that if my mom found out I was pregnant she would literally kill me and the baby. My godmothers willing to help along with my boyfriend who is willing to help too. My mom is absolutely insane and unfit she'll kill me and this child if she finds out. I need to know what to do I need help I can't stay in this house.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-17-2019, 07:15 AM.

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  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to us with your story. It sounds like your mom is causing you a lot of pain. It can be a very hard experience when you are not getting the love and support that you need from your parent. You are incredibly strong for dealing with this pain, especially when all you want is to feel accepted by your mom. I’m glad that you are receiving the love and support that you need while living with your dad. You deserve to feel heard and understood by your family, especially when you are vulnerable enough to share your dreams for the future. It sounds very frustrating that your mom isn’t treating you with the same respect. You do not have to be perfect to feel loved or safe.
    You mentioned that you had started counseling. This is a true mark of strength, being able to ask for help. If you aren’t feeling that counseling has been beneficial, maybe you could try and find a different counselor that you connect with more. Seeing a counselor can be a great resource for your healing and growth, so don’t be afraid to switch to somebody else that you feel more comfortable with. You are deserving of support and care.
    If you need further resources with counseling, or would like to vent for a little while, we are an anonymous, toll-free hotline open 24/7. Best of luck with your current situation.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 15 and I live in Pennsylvania. I have been Verbally and physically verbally and physically abused. I left to live with my dad for a year and things to be Honest the best year of my life . Never once my dad said anything negative about me or my dreams. On the other hand my mom says I can’t dont anything with out her . My dream is to become a surgical technician and my dad is 100%faithful I can do it but my mom says good luck with that you can’t do simple things on your own. I’m in counseling every Friday. But I don’t think it’s doing much for me. My mom is loving 1 day out of the month if I’m lucky. She knows my fears so well that she uses them against me, my fear is my family dying so she will say I’m not to healthy rn. Just to make me fill guilty. My whole family knows how my mom is. It’s been since my 26 year old sister has been alive. I may not be the most easy kid to handle but I’m 15. ALL SHE WANTS IS PERFECT. And she doesn’t know what she does to me . I try telling her but I get grounded or she will switch it on me and say well your not a good kid. Sorry for the long story but I just don’t know what to do.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi and thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear you are experiencing verbal and emotional abuse by your mother. It must be difficult to be at home and be going through something like that. Your safety and being supported is important. If you feel it necessary, you can report that abuse. If you would like more information about how reporting abuse by a parent would look like or how you can do that, a great organization that may be beneficial to you is Child Help. Child Help as a number of professionals who are able to provide information and assist someone who is experiencing something like you are currently experiencing. Child Help as a website, which is childhelp.org as well as a number which is 1800-422-4453. Please, feel free to give us a call or chat with us if you would like some assistance reaching out to this organization. As always, we are here to help and are available 24/7. You can reach us at any time by calling our hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chatting with us live, sending an email, or accessing our forums by visiting our website, 1800runaway.org.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i am 15 years old living in the state of colorado and was wondering if theres anything i can do to be taken out of my home because of verbal and emotional abuse from my mother

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  • ccsmod11
    commented on Guest's reply
    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are here to listen and here to help in whatever way we can. We would be happy to discuss options to address the abuse between your parents as well as options for where you might be able to go. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    What can a 23-year-old do if they want to run away from watching their parents abuse one another, but have nowhere to run too?

    Leave a comment:

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