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16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

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  • #91
    Originally posted by Guest View Post
    Hi I’m not scared to tell you who I am. My name is Katelyn rose and my mom is abusive. If I say something she doesn’t like she hits me. If I try to tell her about my depression and anxiety she tells me that I need to go on medicine and to shut up about it. She rolls her eyes when I tell her I’m having a panic attack she says I am being dramatic. I’m 16 turning 17 in August I can’t live here anymore mental health is deteriorating fast. It seems like all I do is make her mad. I can’t voice my opinion I can’t stand up for myself. I have told a very close person that all this is going on and they are trying to help but don’t know how. I can’t stand being threatened and slapped around. I shouldn’t go through that. She says that I talk back to much. I can just ask a question and she’s in my face screaming and spitting on me. I need out but what can I do?? My friends mom wants to take me in as her own. I can’t get emancipated because she won’t let me get a job. She won’t sign off on the papers. I take care of my 3 brothers and sister. I raised them. I stay up till 3 waiting for her to get home after hanging out with a friend ( she doesn’t do it frequently ). I need help before it becomes to much. I feel like this is the reason why my cousin committed suicide in Jan 13, 2017. Too much pressure to much abuse to much stress
    my situation is similar,whenever i have panic attacks because my mom is screaming at me i become unresponsive and that just makes it worse,she yells at me like im choosing to have a panic attack to get at her and try to make her feel guilty,she will push me,as whats wrong with me and shake me when this happens even if i begin to dig my nails into my arm (i do this to try and calm myself and keep from crying,i have scars along my arms as well as various deep scratch marks) I dont know what to do. She doesnt listen to explanation and is always complaining about how bad her childhood was and saying that her childhood was worse and that my problems arent as bad an so i have no right to cry about it. My step dad and my mom openly punish my little brother (3) with the following: locking him in his room,slapping him across the face,hair pulling (if he pulls their hair) washing his mouth out with soap (for saying pottymouth things,like literally rambling about poop n stuff.) and they spank him with a belt sometimes. its gotten to the point to where he breaks down crying if anyone raises their voice at him. Personally ive been slapped so many times for trying to defend myself that I cant resist flinching when someone raises their hand near me too fast. Im also dealing with school crap. i feel like my parents care more about my grades than my health,they punish me with various things if i dont get perfect A's and B's. i get so caught up in work sometimes that i wish i could just run away or kill myself just to get a break from it all. Im up late every night until 9-2 working on school work. I also recently came out to my mom as a lesbian and she dismissed it as well,telling me that 'its just a phase' 'youll grow out of it' and today she came home with a basket of christian books and bibles and told me to read them. I feel so oppressed. I dont know what to do anymore. to be honest if i didn't want to look out for my brothers and my girlfriend i wouldnt be here. My dad's house is better but im sure he wouldnt accept me either if i came out to him. he tries to be a good dad but my step mom hates me and makes all the decisions on how to punish me. its not physical like my stepdad though. Ive wanted to call cps but a part of me still loves my mom,seeing her cry really messes me up no matter what. But at the same time. if this continues i dont think ill make it to collage.

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    • #92
      16 in January, emotional abusive mother and step-dad

      Hi I'm almost 16 years old and my parents fight on a constant, I have one of my closest friend offer me a room in her house to live with her but I'm not sure my parents will be okay with that, I can't take it here anymore. I've cut and wanted to kill myself but I'm not sure what I can do to live with my best friend. Recently my mom was so angry with everything and everyone she threw everything on our kitchen counter including a knife which ricochet and scraped the side of my thumb, it's not bad and didn't bleed alot but she didn't even notice I don't want to live here anymore. Can someone tell me or give me advice on how to move out?

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      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        Thank you for taking the time to reach out to the National Runaway Safeline on our forum. We are always here to listen and are here to help out in any way that we can.

        Our priority is always your safety. You mentioned that you have harmed yourself and have been thinking about suicide. This has to be really tough to go through. If you do feel like this isn’t something that you can control, please reach out to someone that can help you through those times. In some cases, it can be helpful to talk through these thoughts with someone especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. "The National Suicide Hotline" is available 24/7, just like us, but they have trained counselors that are there to talk through anything that you are thinking or feeling. Their number is 800-273-TALK (8255). They also have an online chat service that might be of help to you especially if you don’t feel like calling in (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).

        In addition, it must be really difficult to see your mom become angry around you. You should not have to witness family members become violent around you and no one deserves this. It may be beneficial to reach out to a friend or family member outside of your home to discuss a plan to move out or how they might be of some support to you during this time of crisis. You should not have to go through this alone.

        We are really glad that you reached out to us. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. We don’t have a guidebook or survival kit that we give youth that are leaving their homes so we don’t have exact answers to your questions, but we can try to answer them the best way that we can by going over whatever options are realistic for you. We’re here to listen, here to help.

    • #93
      So I'm a 16 year old female living in Central Florida. My mum has been abusive towards me my whole life. When I was younger she would physically abuse me, verbally abuse me and neglect me. Once I got older, I started fighting back, and she stopped the physical abuse. She is constantly putting me down, then afterwards she claims its all in my head and never happened. She also will put me down to the point of me self harming and/or making a suicide threat. Once I do, the police are always immediately called on me and I get put in a hospital for being to mentally unstable. When in a long term residential facility, I was thriving and doing better than I had in a really long time. Now im back home and almost at square 1 once more. Im truly almost 2 months clean, though everyone thinks I've been clean from cutting since October, when that's not reality. I've been self harming for a year and a half at this point. I've been bakeracted by police 3ish times, and voluntarily admitted about 20 times in the past year and a half. Its almost been a year since my last time I was admitted to the hospital in an "unstable state" besides a severe panic attack a while ago. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and anorexia nervousa restrictive type. They are also talking about diagnosing me with ADHD, but for the attention part. I have attempted suicide 3 times, at 5 years old, 10 years old, and at 14 years old. Not once was I hospitalized for it though. I've run away a few times, but when I did I had disassociated prior and during running away, and only once I came back in control did I turn myself in to police voluntarily because I knew I needed help. I purposely was put in the hospital for self harm, as it felt it was my only escape of my abusive home. My school is completely aware of everything in my past, and currently happening, yet they claim there is nothing that can be done since there is no longer any physical evidence.

      I have a younger brother who is 8. He is the golden child, can never do any wrong and is a perfect little angel. I love him so much, and I always will. He is not abused to the same degree as I am and have been. He is only now slightly put down every now and again by my mum. I on the other hand am the person put down nonstop. My mum knows what she's doing, ive straight up told her before about what she's doing and how it effects me. She told me to get a sense of humor and lighten up because she's only always "joking". I'm not gonna lie, im on the verge of self harming again as well as having suicidal thoughts on almost a daily basis. My counselor at school has identified me as a high risk of relapse for self harm and my eating disorder. I've reached my breaking point once more. My stress levels are so high that I am always physically tense and shaking, as well as getting sick with something different almost every 2 weeks. I don't know how much longer I can hang on before I let go, and I dont know what to do, or where to go.

      Ive been told that CPS wouldn't have enough evidence to remove me, nor do they care about trying.
      Last edited by ccsmod15; 01-24-2021, 09:47 PM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear things have been so difficult and we are glad you have contacted us for help.

        First of all, it is important you know that no form of abuse is ever okay. You deserve to be in a home that is safe from abuse, both physical and emotional, and in which you are provided for and cared for. We are deeply sorry this has not been the case for you for much of your life. We encourage you to reach out to CPS at any time to report what is happening at home. We understand that you have some reservations about how CPS may respond, and so we invite you to reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 to discuss what this may look like for you, and whether or not it is your best option. Crisis workers at Child Help can report abuse for you, as can we here at the National Runaway Safeline if you call us at any time (1-800-RUN-AWAY). It is clear that your treatment at home severely affects your mental health, and it may be worth a try to get a child protective caseworker involved. You deserve help.

        Furthermore, you deserve to be supported and listened to as you experience the difficulties of suicidal tendency and cutting. It is okay for you to be hurting, and to feel so overwhelmed by all that is going on that these tendencies come up. We want to do our best to reduce the harm of these tendencies so that you can be safe, and live. When you are feeling like killing yourself, we encourage you to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. They are there to talk through some of your most difficult moments with you. Another resource you may consider is the website To Write Love On Her Arms, a virtual storytelling space where people share very real, raw, and hopeful stories of their experiences both with self-harm and suicidal ideation and attempts. It is intense, and it may speak to you in this very intense moment.

        Speaking of speaking, you are brave to come forward with all this today. While an abuse report may dramatically change your situation, as can the self-help resources above, we believe that just in speaking about your trauma, you have opened up a great deal of potential for healing. We encourage you to continue finding people to talk to. Continuing to talk to your school counselor, for example, will be integral as you figure out what to do next and how to cope with this increasingly hard time. Let us know if you ever want to talk…we are here.

        Stay safe and stay strong.

        Sincerely,
        NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod15; 01-24-2021, 09:51 PM.
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