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16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

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  • #61
    16, gonna be 17 in less than a month.

    my mother has been emotionally and mentally abusing me for almost a year now. She constantly makes me do everything for her, even tho I have a sister who is very capable of doing things, I opened up to her and told her that I had been raped a few years ago. And she called me a whore and practically said I deserved it. Yes she let's me to out and do things sometimes But every time she does she throws it back up in my face and makes me feel bad about going out and doing things. She calls me names a lot, that has died down a bit but it still hurts. I have been thinking about suicide a lot. And I have been self harming. Because she makes me feel like I somehow deserve the way she treats me. She ignores me when I need things, like to go to the doctor, but my sister goes to the doctor if she even caughs a little bit. I need help. I want to get out of this. I mean I have 1 more year left, but honestly I don't think I can stay here that long.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear everything you’ve been through; that’s got to be tough. Please know that we are here to help in whatever way we can. And there are lots of other sources of help as well. You don’t have to face things alone. There is hope, despite how hard things must seem right now. You’re very brave to open up about all this.

      It’s simply wrong that your mom is abusing and neglecting you as you describe. No one deserves that sort of treatment. We are also very sorry to hear about your rape and your self-harm and suicidal though, which concerns us a lot. Talking to someone that’s safe and trustworthy is so important about things like this. We are always here for you, 24/7. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are confidential and anonymous. Some other great resources you can reach out to are the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) and a website called “To Write Love On Her Arms” (www.twloha.org). Of course, if you are in immediate danger you can always dial 911. If you would like to talk to someone about the rape that happened you might consider calling the Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-4673).

      Based on what you shared, you can file an abuse report against your mom if you so choose. We can do that on your behalf if you give us a call, or you can call your state’s child abuse reporting hotline. But it’s totally up to you; we never tell anyone what to do. We’d like to help more if you’re willing to give us a call, even if what we offer is just a listening ear and working together to figure out what you’d like to do. We hope to hear from you! Again, our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      Good luck and please stay safe!
      NRS

  • #62
    Hello,
    I am a 21 year old female in WY. I have a minor little brother, who is still under control of our abusive parents. He is 17 years old. Searching for the most hassle free way to have me (his sister) become his legal guardian, and no longer have our parents involved in both of our lives. There are far more details and explanations as to why this needs to be done. Over 15+ years of documentation of a mentally ill mother and emotionally vindictive alcoholic father will demonstrate to the courts that this process needs to be done. In search of information on how to make me his guardian, since we have no living relatives in the area that have been willing to take us in the past when we were placed in foster care for a short time. I believe this would solve our problems with our father threatening to file missing persons report when he is visiting me or another home. Along with of course all the other problems/reasons that make this all necessary. I will surely love some feedback, since dealing with them especially for the last 21 years has been incredibly heartbreaking and non-trans formative. In order for my brother & I to move forward in life, we believe that our parents presence is no longer necessary and in fact has never been necessary. Again, any information on how to go further would be greatly appreciated. Time is of the essence. Thank You!

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you and your brother are in this tough situation. We thank you for all that you do to support him, it takes a really big heart to do that! We are here to listen and will help as much as we can.
      You mentioned some abuse in the home. If you would like to report it you can contact your local cps, or Child Help (a national abuse hotline) at 1800-422-4453 or at www.childhelp.org . It is great that you have documentation of events. This will hopefully help your case for the abuse. You also have the option of contacting the National Domestic Hotline at 1800-799-7233 or www.thehotline.org for resources on how you can help your bother get away from the abuse that he faces at home. Also, you said you were looking to take over guardianship of him. Possibly, contacting the local courthouse in your area may provide you with some information about starting that process. If your father were to report your brother missing when he is on a visit with you, your brother would not go to jail. This would be something known as a status offense. He would just be returned home. The only issue may be that you may face a harboring a runaway charge which is usually just a misdemeanor or a fine that you would pay. Calling out to the local non-emergency police may help with giving some more information about the report if it is made. Explaining that there is abuse at home and you are providing the him a safe place to go may influence their response to the situation.
      Again, thank you for reaching out. We really appreciate all that you are doing to help your brother and we hope for a solution soon. As always, if you, or your brother, would like further assistance we are 24/7, confidential and toll free!
      -NRS
      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • #63
    I'm 16 and I live in Pennsylvania. My mom's boyfriend is verbally abusive and I can't convince her to kick him out. What should I do?

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot because of the verbal abuse that your mother's boyfriend subjects you to. We want to let you know that you don't deserve to face such abuse. We aren't going to tell you what to do, but if you call us at 1-800-786-2929, we can talk more about your situation, which will help us understand which options are more and less likely to help you in your situation.

      Best,
      NRS

  • #64
    I'm a 17 year old and I need help!. I'm still in school and I am jobless. My mother always needs me around the house to take care of her kids but yet she yells at me to get a job Just to yell at me to watch her kids.
    I live with my mother because my parents are divorced. I know I am able to choose who I want to live with. But the problem is that my step mom verbally abuses me and my boyfriend. So I do not want to live there. I want to get out of my mothers house. My boyfriends parents and me have already had a talk about me living with them. My mother spends all of her money on Kratom. Its a herbal pill for "pain". She threatens my dad for money. She also guilt trips my boyfriend into giving her money. I just want out of here so I can finally have a job and so I can start to be the adult I'm suppose to be soon. I really need some help. I don't know how much longer I can put up with all of this.

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress at home between you and your mom- and we hope we can help.
      We are by no means legal experts, but we do know that you are considered a minor at age 17. This means that if you were to leave home without permission, there is a chance your legal guardians could file a runaway report. Running away is not a crime, but if you were to get caught- the local police would be required to return you home.
      Have you talked to your mom about living with your boyfriend’s family? This could be a difficult situation, but we are happy to conference call and be a 3rd party on that conversation. You can always reach us at 1-800- RUNAWAY. We can also look into any legal aid resources that could assist with helping you move out early.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #65
    I need help please ASAP someone I leave in the state of PA . Am 25 years. The problem is not with me is with my wife the girl I married. She’s Muslim and am Mexican I met her about 8 moths ago I love her so much . She’s 17 year old soon to be18 in April 9. Her parents signed the consent for to get married with me. The story is that the dad is very abusive verbally and he hits her she tells me she's been living like this for years. She wants to runway with with me or without me. do I can't stand seen her like this the dad dosen't want me to leave with her yeah because of the culture I respect it and everything. Am just scare to take her away with me and I get arrested for taking a minor even knowing she's my wife we are married by the court in the state of PA. Sorry for my spelling hope you guys are able to help me thank you .

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #66
    Hi, I’m 16 yrs. old & I’m suffering from emotional & physical abuse. When I was little I used 2 lived with my grandma till my grandfather pasted away & now I live with my mom, her bf, my bro, & step sis. I’ve ran away a couple of times & came back when they found me. I get yelled @ if i forget 2 do something after I get off work cuz I’m usually tired when I get home & I have 2 go downstairs & do something 4 whoever when they r already downstairs & r able 2 do it themselves. I feel like I’m a slave cuz I do more chores than my siblings, like they get 2 do whatever they want 2 do without asking & I always have 2 ask but they don’t have 2?! It’s stresses me out so much that I’ve cried myself 2 sleep some nights when I go 2 bed. & I’m trying so hard 2 b like my other 2 siblings but nothing good happens & im the 1 who always gets blamed 4 everything, even if I didn’t do it. I try 2 b a normal person but I was never raised the right way. It’s just that it stresses me out so much that now I have depression from how I have been treated all my life. All I think about is that if I were 2 die, they probably wouldn’t care if I was dead. Sometimes I even think about committing suicide when I really stressed out, but I don’t do it cuz I don’t want them 2 think they have won or have broken me. I just don’t know wat 2 do anymore...Can u help me? Plz

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It's terrible that you are dealing with a homelife that has made you feel so ignored and hurt. Depression can be really scary to deal with. We are here to help and we are so glad you reached out for help. Verbal and emotional abuse are unacceptable and if you feel your safety is threatened please call. We can help you figure out your options.

      Nothing is more important than your safety. We have a few options to offer. In the event you run away again (or just feel like running away again) and need to talk, or you need help locating potential services, please to reach out to us. If you ever feel like harming yourself, please reach out to our phone line or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. They can be reached at 1-800-273-8255 and our phone number will be at the bottom of this form. We are open 24/7 365 days a year and so is the Suicide Prevention Hotline.

      Have you considered approaching your family about getting a therapist? It is an option that might not disrupt your day-to-day quite as much as leaving home again. If your situation is financially restricted or your parents don't care to help you in finding a therapist, don't hesitate to call us and we can help you find inexpensive options that might offer sliding scale therapy.

      Your safety and wellbeing are important. Situations like yours are exactly why the National Runaway Safeline exists. If you would like to learn more you can reach out via chat or on the message board, and we also encourage you to call if you ever need to talk.

  • #67
    16, Emotionally & Verbally Abused

    For the past 4-5 years I've been suffering from depression and severe anxiety. I have been thinking of running away for about 6 years now and I didn't think it was my home situation causing it but I realized that constantly threatening to make your oldest child move to their grandparents house (both of which are more unhealthy to live in than my parents). This has led me to start researching college costs and daily expenses and stuff like that. I mean I do do some bad stuff but I know that a year without internet or human communication outside of school hours for telling your worried best friend about a huge fist fight at home. My parents have NEVER told me about ways or times I can get my tv and phone back. No matter what I do wrong the answer is ALWAYS "You're never going to get another phone until you move out of my house." I never know what is going on in other parts of the world and barely know what happens at my school bc all of the info is online. I'm not allowed to go to the library without permission (Very rarely get it) and I'm very very VERY rarely allowed to go out and hang out with friends outside of school. I'm expected to be perfect and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I'm not allowed touching any phones and neither of my brothers have phones. My parents are constantly talking about how lazy and stupid and how much of a mistake I am. Then a while later they would burst into my room and tell me how much they love me. I can't really go into detail, but I'm not allowed mentioning my home issues at school or with close friends as my parents see it as "attention seeking". But my younger brother is very suicidal and constantly feels abused as well and its a real issue at this stage.

    I feel like I've been on a bit of a rant here and I'm so sorry if I've caused any annoyance or trouble. I can't text or call, but I can get on the school laptops between 8-2pm(ish) and use my email. I currently am unemployed, but I am looking for a job and I have my temps rn.

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

      Sounds like you have been though so much over the years dealing with things at home and your mental health. Here at NRS, we want you to know that you are not a mistake at all. Your life has infinite value, and you are not lesser than anyone else.

      That seems really rough to be banned from human interaction and the internet, because you told someone about a fist fight at home. You should be able to reach out to others when there are unsafe things going on at your house. If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger please do not hesitate to call 911 or if you can't get to a phone try to get to a safe place. You might try to make a safety plan for where you will go and how you will get out of the house just in case there is another big fist fight at home or if something is making you feel unsafe.

      You do have the right to report any physical or emotional abuse, and/or neglect to child protective serves (CPS). It is possible the could intervene at home. To learn more about your reporting options you might reach out to the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-445 or www.childhelp.org. If you are able to get to a phone, if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we can help you file a report. If you can't call, you can also report with a school counselor. No one deserves to be abused, and there are people and resources out there that truly want to help.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation if you can. We are always here for you.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #68
    Hi I’m madi, I’m 16 going to be 17 In three months and im not sure I can wait that long to leave. I know if I leave I’ll have a place to stay and a way to provide myself with the necessities I personally need. I currently have a job.
    I live in a house hold where mental extreme abuse, and mild physical abuse takes place. I came from a abusive house hold when my parents where together. Immediately after the got divorced my mom decided to move in with her boyfriend. Ever since we moved in all I’ve been is experiencing is mental and physical abuse from my mom and her boyfriend . I constantly get into arguements with my mom (so suffers from bipolar disorder) which lead to her physically attacking me. Her boyfriend is constantly mentally abusing me and is trying to turn my own mom against me. She just recently started acting like this since we’ve moved in with him.
    I’m not sure if I can continue living in this house hold which is slowly tearing me apart. I care more about my metal health and stability which Is why I think I need to leave but I know that if I do my mom will threaten me and the person I’ll be living with and will do anything to bring me back in her care and not sure what legal actions could take place if I where to leave.
    My question is what legal actions could take place if I abandon home with out her convent.

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi Madi,
      Thanks you for reaching out to NRS. We are here to help!
      Our first concern is that you are safe and off the streets. If you feel unsafe in your current situation, you can contact your local Child Protective Services office. You can also contact us 24/7 by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat at www.1800runaway.org.
      It takes a lot courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing what’s going on. It sounds like you’re in a very difficult situation at home right now and looking for potential options to find an alternative living arrangement.
      We are not legal experts but we can provide some information and resources that we hope will be helpful to you. Laws vary from state to state, but in most states the age of majority, when you would be considered an adult, is 18. As a 17 year-old, you would likely be considered a minor and your mother could file a runaway report. Specific information on the age of majority in your state can be found at www.sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states.
      If you do leave home, your mother could file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not illegal but if a runaway report is filed and the police find you they would likely return you to your home. Most police departments will not actively seek runaways. You can call the non-emergency of your local police department to get information on their runaway policies. If you are not comfortable calling on your own, you can call us and we can contact the police for you.
      If you decide to move in with someone else, they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
      It’s great that you have a job and are able to provide for yourself. Another option that you have is to look into emancipation laws for your state. Emancipation is a legal process that allows you to potentially get legal independence from your mother.
      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this difficult time.
      NRS is here to listen and to help put you in touch with resources to help you.

  • #69
    I am in UAE I am 16 years old and I am really done with my family abuse me physically and mentally I tried getting back at them but instead I got hurt more I tried sitting clearly with them and talking about it but they think I am the one who is wrong is it that bad if I really just want to study and do my music and courses that it gets hard for me to do the household. is it that bad to get occasionally getting distracted and is it so bad to be sick terribly? I study hard to get A*s in all my subjects and I am currently in my final year I even got 6A*S and an A in my IGCSEs. I don't even want to run away but my parents have suffocated me so much I really hope bad things for them and I cry later on but they think my existence is the whole mistake. I have a few friends close enough who know about this. But I really care about my family. I even am using the laptop my dad gave to me. But I am growing too right I don't want to scared for life I am really tired. I told this to my mom and my mom is calling me a poisoned box. My mom is like I abused them I ruined my parent's relationship and that I am inhuman. Tell me what to do. please.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
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