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16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

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  • #16
    16 and verbally and emotional being abused

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for contacting NRS on our online forum. It sounds like home life is very stressful and overwhelming for you. You mentioned running away before due to similar issues that are intensifying. We are sorry you are going through this right now. You do not deserve to be called names or to be put down. It seems your depression has led to self-injury which may be a coping skill for you. We want to help you as best as we can. Please let us know how we can support you during this challenging time. It sounds like you may need some space designated for yourself where you can openly talk about how you are feeling and have been affected by everything going on. We can help explore some options and resources that may help. We simply can just listen. If you would like to talk more about what you are experiencing, please reach out to us through phone 1-800-786-2929 or reach us through chat via www.1800runaway.org.

    We look forward to talking with you soon.

    Please be safe and take care of yourself,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #17
      I'm 16 living with an emotionally abusive mom

      I'm 16 living in California with an emotionally abusive mom. It has been happening for a long time she always made me feel bad about myself. She would call me fat, ugly, and just pick fights with me over the littlest things. However It got worse 4 months ago when she decided that she wanted us to move two hours away from my family and love ones. I stood up to her and told her that I didn't want to go and I would like to stay with my grandma. She never likes it when someone stood up to her and she started to emotional abuse me worse then she already did. She would yell at me over the smallest things and tell me that I cause most of the problems. Then when we moved I was still asking if I go live with my grandma because that's where I feel is home and that's where I felt the safest. However she made me feel like I had no say in how my life was lived that she made the decision for me. She would make me believe that I can do something and then she would nit pick at what I chose. She always make situations about her and never about her children. It's always what she wants and how she feels. In December my sister tried committing suicide and she refused to take any of the blame she blamed it all on me and my dad. I tried asking my dad for help and he was going to help me but last minute he decided not to. My aunt has really been helping me and she said that she will go to court but she has no rights. these last 4 months have been the worse I feel like I have depression, I always get anxiety, I always thinking of cutting but I can't pull myself to do it and a couple of times I have thought of suicide. I just feel like I need to get out of here fast before I do something and the emotionally abuse gets worse.

      Comment


      • #18
        RE: I'm 16 living with an emotionally abusive mom

        Hello,

        Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. We are sorry to hear that your mother is emotionally abusive. You do not deserve to be abused or called names, and it is understandable that you would want to move out. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. We are glad to hear that you have other family members who are supportive to you, it sounds very hard to have to move away from them, and it sounds like your dad, aunt, and grandma are supportive and want to help. It sounds like you are struggling with depression and thoughts about cutting right now, and like you have thought about suicide. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a helpful resource. You can check out www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call them at 1-800-273-8255. We are here to help however we can, and our primary concern is your safety. It sounds like you are unsafe at home. If you need help making a plan and finding resources to help keep you safe, we are here to help. It sounds like you have relatives who would be interested in going to court for custody of you. We are not legal experts, so speaking with a lawyer or attorney about your options could be helpful. We are here to support you whatever your decision is, so if you decide to run away or if you need any help figuring out how to deal with your situation, we can help talk you through a plan to stay safe. Please do not hesitate to give us a call 24/7 or reach us daily via live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon and wish you the best of luck.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

          My Name is Nikki, I am a 16 year old transgender, I live in an abusive home in ohio and all of my friends who have offered to take me in have backed out. I
          live with both of my parents, my father is a former southern baptist preacher farm boy grew up where if he screwed up he had to cut a switch and got beat, my
          mother hacked my fb to find out I am transgender and is abusing me about it and is doing the same style of verbal and mental abuse my father does and they
          compare me to my sister and her husband who they describe as failures and my father has threatened to kill her husband and my mother knows if my father found
          out i was transgender he would kill me and she said she won't defend me against him and will tell him she knew nothing about it unless i change my ways
          and be more like them and my parents said if i was ever LGBT they would throw me out of the house because they hate people like me and they think that people
          like me are a disgrace and are disgusting when they are best friends with our neighbors who are a married gay couple. I have been suicidal for years and my
          parents don't do anything about it, i feel alone and scared. I don't know what to do anymore, I need help out of the house. I am not able to be financially
          independent yet because my job doesn't pay enough and I feel scared to be at home but yet my only safe place is somewhere in the woods where i can survive if
          worst comes to worst. Please help me

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

            Hi Nikki,

            Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline! We’re so glad you reached out and we will do our best to help you out in any way we can.
            It sounds like you’ve been through an unfair amount of emotional stress at home. It must be really tough to not be able to be your true self around your parents, and we’re so sorry to hear that because everyone deserves a loving and supportive home. You definitely don’t deserve to have to be ashamed or embarrassed or feel like you have to hide who you are, and we promise you are certainly not a disgrace or disgusting by any means. You’re really brave for reaching out for help, we know that’s not always easy. There are people out there who truly care about your wellbeing and want you to feel comfortable with who you are.

            Do you have anyone to go to for support, such as friends or an adult at school or a family member? We can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you and hope you have a source of support. There are sometimes counseling services offered most areas offered for little to no cost that usually don’t require parental consent. We would be more than happy look up a resource like this in your area if you’re interested. We’re so sorry that you have experienced suicidal thoughts. If you ever have those feelings and don’t know who to talk to, the National Suicide Hotline is a great resource. Even if you aren’t feeling suicidal but just want to talk, they would love to listen and offer you support. They can be reached at 1.800.273.8255. The Trevor Project is another great resource that offer support for LGBT individuals and can be reached at 1.866.488.7386. Additionally, The Trans Lifeline is a hotline run by transgender people for transgender people, which we think could also be beneficial to you. They can be reached at 1.877.565.8860.

            We’re sorry that you are feeling so uncomfortable in your home that you are thinking about running away. Your safety is our number one concern here at the National Runaway Safeline and we would be happy to help you come up with a safe plan for leaving home if you believe running away is the best option for you. If you wish to talk about your situation further, please do not hesitate to contact us again through our live chat at 1800runaway.org or our 24/7 hotline at 1.800.786.2929. We can just listen if you just want to talk, think about other options and resources, or help you come up with a plan to stay safe for leaving home. Keep your head up and we hope to hear from you soon!

            Best,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

              Hey its Nikki again, I need help getting out of the house, i feel like I am out of options, i tried to talk to my schools guidance department and school police officer about the abuse and they don't believe me. I have friends who support me in being who I am but if I came out at home my dad said if I was ever LGBT he would throw me out of the house when my mom knows he would kill me since he hates people like me. My mother is completely against me and refuses to be supportive and says that if my dad ever finds out she won't defend me, support me against him, she said she will lie and say she knew nothing and let him have his way of handling me. I don't feel safe at home to the point I made a friend of mine mad because her family had offered to take me in and now she wants nothing to do with me. I have run out of options and I just need help please, I need somewhere safe to live where I can be accepted for who I am. My fear is if I run off is my dad finding me and just taking out all his anger on me and my mother guilt trips me into trying to convince me not to be who I am because it is wrong and will tear apart the family. Please help me, I don't know how much longer I can handle being at home, I would call but I'm never home alone so I can't be alone to call and speak with you guys or to call anyone to come get me. Please if you can help me reach out to someone in Ohio to help me that would mean help me massively.

              Comment


              • #22
                RE: Re: 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

                Hi Nikki,

                We’re so sorry to hear that you don’t feel safe in your own home. You deserve to have a safe, stable, and loving environment to live in. We are really glad that you reached out to us again and will try to help you any way we can.

                You mentioned that you don’t feel safe at home, which must be incredibly stressful. We want you to have a safe place if you feel like you are in immediate danger. You can call the local police or reach out to a National Safe Place. There are five Safe Places located in Ohio and you can go to www.nationalsafeplace.org to find the one nearest you. We know that you’ve reached out to friends and local authorities and we’re sorry to hear that they have not been supportive.

                Are there any adults in your life who are supportive of you or whom you feel you can talk to? A teacher, a relative, a friend’s parent, a healthcare worker are all some possible options. It’s great that you do have some supportive friends in your life who accept you for who you are. It might be possible to go to one of their houses when you feel like you are not safe at home. We’re sorry to hear that you cannot call into our hotline but we also have chat services and would love to hear from you if possible. Chat services usually open at 4:30 PM on Monday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday, but may sometimes be open sooner. Please check our website at www.1800runaway.org for more info on how to chat with us live.

                We’re really proud of you for hanging in there and reaching out to us again. You’ve been through a lot of stress and you deserve to have people in your life who supportyou. We’d love to offer you more support through our live chat and are looking forward to hearing from you.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #23
                  Hey its Nikki, I talk to my manager at work but she cant do anything to help me I will look into the safe places and see if there is one near me is there anything I can do if not? The local authorities dont believe im being abused my schools police officer when I told him he doesnt believe me at all because he is just now hearing about the abuse and has no proof and when he had talked with me in the past about suicide it never came up because I dont like talking about it and he said that makes him not believe me so my local authorities are no help and child and family services in my county wont return my emails so I dont know what to do at this point I feel like all I have left is to runaway if there isnt a safe place near me to go to

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    RE:

                    Hi Nikki,

                    Your situation sounds very stressful. Once again, thank you for reaching out to us. You mentioned your school police officer wasn’t much help. Is there any way for you to reach out to the actual police that isn’t affiliated with your school? If you’re not able to or aren’t comfortable with this, you can call us and we’d be happy to do it for you.
                    Did you attempt to reach out to the other services provided in the previous threads? Again, if you would like and if you aren’t comfortable doing this on your own, we could do this with you on the line or in a chat.
                    Since this is our correspondence, we’d like to take the time to let you know that due to high demand for our online services this will be our last reply. We strongly encourage you to find a time to call us (remember, we are 24/7, 365 days a year).

                    We wish you the best of luck in your difficult time. Please stay strong!

                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Options?

                      Okay so I'm not entirely sure what cps would do if I called. I want to get out instantly without my mom knowing. Like having to go to court and live with her until court is settled. She would most likely end up beating me for taking her to court. So I want to somehow leave within 24 hours. I thought about calling the cops on her, im 90 percent sure she sells and does drugs. If she went to jail. What would happen to me? I am 16 and in about two months I'll be 17, Meaning I'll have one more year until I'm 18. My mom has been emotionally abusing me. Can I do anything about it? It's been going on for a long time and I just can't take it anymore. I'm ready to kill my self. It's getting so bad that I would do anything Just to get out. Would cps even try to help me sense I'll be 17 soon and there is no eevidence of abuse going on. Please help. I don't think I can live with her for another year. I live in Indiana. Would I be put in foster care? Or would I be able to choose who I live with. I'm not sure what to even do anymore.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        RE: Options?

                        Hello!

                        Thanks for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot, and we are sorry that you have to deal with that. It’s a very good first step to reach out for help, in order for you to find out what is best for you.

                        You mentioned that she has been abusing you emotionally, and we are sorry that you are dealing with this. No one deserves to be treated that way, and we hope you know that. If you’d like to discuss this with someone, and/or report it. Child Help USA will be able to help you with that, you can reach out to them at 1-800-422-4453.
                        It sounds like you are wanting to leave home without having any issues with your mom, however, in Indiana the age of minority is 17. This means you are not considered a legal adult until you turn 18. Therefor if you are to leave home, without your parents’ consent, they have the right to report you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal, however, with this report if the police are to find you they will pick you up and drop you back home.
                        You asked as well, what would happen if you reported her and she ended up going to jail. We here at NRS are not legal experts, we can only technically speak from our past experience. If your mom ended up going to jail one of the possibilities is that the state will try to find some family member that could be your temporary guardian. If the state does not find a family member who can take care of you, then you will be placed in foster care. Your question was if you could decide where to stay, and unfortunately that’s a no. The state will try to investigate your situation and make their decision.
                        Also, it sounds like this situation is very frustrating for you and it is overwhelming you. But know that you are not alone. Whenever you are having suicidal thoughts, you can contact the Trevor Hotline, they help out youths who have the same thoughts or feelings as you. You can contact them at 1-866-488-7386.
                        We hope that our response was helpful, and will make your decision making easier. If you want to discuss about this into further detail, you can contact us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are available 24/7and will be able to help you. The number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also contact us through our live chat on our website (www.1800runaway.com) the hours to the chat are 4:30pm-11:30pm CST.

                        Good luck!

                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          My friend is 16 years old and she lives in Colorado. A couple of days ago her parents took her phone and laptop away and all other ways to contact people. Then I got a call from her when she was at work she was using someone else phone and said she doesn't feel safe at home. She said she's always living in fear. They threaten her and mentally abuse her. I can't really help her because I live in another state. What can she do ? She wants to get away from them she said she doesn't know how much longer she can deal with it. She wants somewhere to stay until she's 18. There's a friend of hers who said she could stay with him but only for a short time and not until she's 18. She's so scared. What can she do if her parents say no ? Can CPS remove her from her home, if so where would she go?

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

                            Hello there,
                            Thank you for taking the time to post on our bulletin board.
                            It sounds like you are really concerned for your friend after she called you telling you that she does not feel safe at home anymore. She has the right to feel safe in her own home with that being said she also has the right to make a report of what has been going on to Child Protective Services. We do work for CPS so we cannot say where she would go or the exactly what would happen all we do know for a fact is that if a report is made someone is going to come out and investigate the allegations. https://www.childhelp.org/ is site that can tell you more about the reporting process and what to expect. You might find it helpful to look at the frequently asked questions page.
                            You mentioned that she has a friend who is willing to let her stay with them for a short while. It is great that she has you and this other person looking out for her. It sounds like she can really use the love and support that you guys are showing her. Since she can only stay at this place for a short time you can give her our number and we can use our database to try and find some safe places for her to go. 1-800-RUNAWAY
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              im 16 about to be 17 in 4 months i need help

                              Im 16 years old, im white, im a girl, and im from houma louisiana. iv got 4 months until i turn 17 so when i do im running away. My family found out i was dating a black boy and compleatly turned on me. I have my high school diploma at 16, i have a job, and im paying for everything i want. Im basically taking care of myself. Im always giving them money. But im not allowed to leave the house. I have zero feedom. Im constantly called a ********. Or a ***** lover, and i was even told god doesnt love me because of who i was with. We are no longer together but the abuse is still taking place. I cant take it any longer if the state doesnt help this is gonna end in two ways either im gonna run away at 17 or im gonna kill myself. Im going crazy. Literally.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: im 16 about to be 17 in 4 months i need help

                                Hey there,

                                Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. It sounds like you've been hurt by those closest to you because of a relationship that you were in. You mentioned that the emotional abuse still continues and you fear it may end in something terrible such as ending your life. You don't deserve to be mistreated by anyone, especially family. It sounds like your family is not aware of how badly their words affect you. It may be a challenge to prove emotional abuse, but if you'd like to file an abuse report, we can help or you may learn more through Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453, www.childhelp.org.

                                Thoughts of suicide are often scary for many, and it may feel like an isolating time right now; but we want you to know that you don't have to go through this alone. Depression and anxiety can bring on an overwhelming amount of feelings- even suicidal thoughts. If you feel unsafe you are encouraged to call out to emergency services (911) or visit your local emergency hospital. You may also call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

                                If you'd like to talk more, we are also here as support for you. Your life is important, and you matter in this world. It sounds like maybe talking through some safe options could be really helpful for you.

                                Please call us or chat soon so that we can connect you with agencies that will keep you safe.

                                Be safe and stay strong,

                                NRS
                                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                                National Runaway Safeline
                                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                                Comment

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