16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

[Unregistered]

I'm 16 years old and live in Pennsylvania, I'm living with an emotionally abusive mother. I can't take it anymore it has been this way for years and I want out. My dad refuses to help me or stand up for me. I have grandparents /friends and a boyfriend willing to help me. I have had a job for 3 years and I have my permit. I can't take it anymore and I need advice. I was looking into becoming legally declared and adult but since my parents are foster parents it would be almost impossible to do. I need help.

[ccsmod14]

Re: 16 year old living in an emotionally abusive house

Hi there,

If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

Thank you,
NRS

[Unregistered]

16 years old planning to runaway at 17.

I'm 16 right now and i will be turning 17 next year. I have been thinking about running away for about 3 to 4 yeas now. I'm under what i consider to be emotional and verbal abuse, as well as some state of abandonment. For about 2 yeas it has been so bad that my thoughts have slowly started to be suicidal. I do not want to kill myself it would put my family (however dysfunctional) through too much pain, however my personal pain and feeling are something i can no longer push aside.
My main problem is that they might try to drag me back. While this may sound like my family is bad they're not my mom is very loving when she isn't telling me I'm stupid and that I could only flip burgers for a living. And when my dad can tear himself away from his work and his electronics (and his slightly iffy anger problem) he loves us all very much.
Look I'm not the type of girl who can be left alone forced to have book and the world wide wed as her only release in life, but i refuse to get drunk, laid, high or kill myself to end my pain. While I have thought of cutting myself i could never bring myself to do it as well.
I am terribly sorry if I'm being a little long winded, but i thought you should know the whole story.

I thank you for your time and your consideration of my problem.
PS: If this helps any I live in Louisiana.

[ccsmod10]

R: 16 years old, planning on running away at 17

Hello 16 from Louisiana,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you've reached out to us at the right time. Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, some state of abandonment, contemplating cutting, contemplating running away and most severely, suicide. That's a lot to unpack, a lot to process and too much to go through alone. Again, we're glad you reached out.
First things first, let's focus on your thoughts on suicide. It hurts to hear that things have gotten that bad. If you reach points in the future where suicide becomes an option of an answer to your problems please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Depression like that is a dark place. And reaching out to people for help before things become too intense to deal with is how things get better.
Now, let's examine the root of your issues you discuss: your relationship with your mother and father. What stands out in your letter is a remarkable self-awareness of your situation. You know that your home environment is causing some life-changing negative consequences that you want help in overcoming. But you don't really share the details or specifics on what is happening to cause the emotional and verbal abuse as well as what is leading to you feeling abandoned. This is TOTALLY your right. And your free to tell us these details by calling us at NRS for a more detailed conversation about your options at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Those details that you could share will help us better understand your options for getting help and how to begin to improve the relationship with your parents, who you mention are "very loving".
In between now and then we would really encourage you to think about what you want. Even as a 16 year old, your life and your future happiness is yours to own and manage. Asking and answering the critical questions about our happiness is what makes us feel like things are getting better because we feel more in control.
If you feel the only way to stop these negative feelings of abuse and self-hurt is to leave your present home situation then that is YOUR right and we can support you in finding resources to help you do that.
Again, if you ever need us we're only a call away at: 1-800-RUNAWAY or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time.

Sincerely,
National Runaway Safeline

[Unregistered]

Thank you.

Hello 16 from Louisiana,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you've reached out to us at the right time. Emotional abuse, verbal abuse, some state of abandonment, contemplating cutting, contemplating running away and most severely, suicide. That's a lot to unpack, a lot to process and too much to go through alone. Again, we're glad you reached out.
First things first, let's focus on your thoughts on suicide. It hurts to hear that things have gotten that bad. If you reach points in the future where suicide becomes an option of an answer to your problems please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Depression like that is a dark place. And reaching out to people for help before things become too intense to deal with is how things get better.
Now, let's examine the root of your issues you discuss: your relationship with your mother and father. What stands out in your letter is a remarkable self-awareness of your situation. You know that your home environment is causing some life-changing negative consequences that you want help in overcoming. But you don't really share the details or specifics on what is happening to cause the emotional and verbal abuse as well as what is leading to you feeling abandoned. This is TOTALLY your right. And your free to tell us these details by calling us at NRS for a more detailed conversation about your options at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Those details that you could share will help us better understand your options for getting help and how to begin to improve the relationship with your parents, who you mention are "very loving".
In between now and then we would really encourage you to think about what you want. Even as a 16 year old, your life and your future happiness is yours to own and manage. Asking and answering the critical questions about our happiness is what makes us feel like things are getting better because we feel more in control.
If you feel the only way to stop these negative feelings of abuse and self-hurt is to leave your present home situation then that is YOUR right and we can support you in finding resources to help you do that.
Again, if you ever need us we're only a call away at: 1-800-RUNAWAY or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time.

Sincerely,
National Runaway Safeline

Thank you so much for you kindness. I don't seem to be on the receiving end of that much... I do love my family very much that's why I've stayed so long, and I don't think my parents mean to hurt me with their words or sometimes lack of acknowledgment but they do. I have talked to some people about this, my cousin (who has and is considering running away to live with her boyfriend) has know about all this from the start she was the one i went to when i broke down (and vice versa) but even then she was as scared as I was that we wouldn't be able to survive with out our parents.
She was one of my reasons for staying so long, but her and I have seen what happens to you if you stay and try to make thing work, her older brother still lives with their parents at the age of 21 and has even told the girl he (possibly) loved that he couldn't date her because his dad said no (he was 19 or 20 when this happened), I can't stay until its submission no matter how much I love them and want them to be happy.
My Cousin has decided that she along with her best friend and I are going to runaway to live with they're boyfriends. But I feel left out when I'm with them, they seem to forget about me just like everyone else. So I want to runaway before she drags me along....
My main problem is how will I leave, where will I stay, should I still talk to my family, will I have food to eat, money?
I am at a loss, do I leave by Train, Plane, Foot? Will I have to hitchhike? I'm only 16 and I can't defend myself very well... I'm not very good at making solid plans, but I need to leave... and leave soon. If I don't I'm afraid I'll need to add depression to my list of problems.

Once again thank you for you help, kindness, and understanding it means more then you know.

[ccsmod9]

RE: Thank you.

Hi again 16 from Louisiana,

Thanks again for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you're determined to leave home. We're here to support you in whatever decision you ultimately make. It sounds like you're really trying to think through all the details of leaving home and the ramifications. We commend you on this. We're sorry to hear about your depression issues as well. You do not deserve any form of abuse in your home, please remember that.

There is no one right answer to some of your questions. In terms of where you will go, you might want to consider where you can stay that will be safe. For some youth, this is a family or friend's home, or a youth shelter. Safety is an important consideration to the decisions you might make about running away. Some other questions you may want to consider are: Who will I tell my plan? How long will I stay away from home? How will I provide for my basic needs? How will this impact my future plans? If I do decide to stay at home, what can realistically be improved to better my home life? We are here 24/7 to discuss any of these issues or questions with you.

If you'd like to talk further, please feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). As we said previously, we are available on our confidential and anonymous Safeline 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. You can also chat with us from 4:30 to 11:30 pm Central time by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red live chat button. We hope to hear from you soon.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Unregistered]

thank you - 16 from louisiana

Thank you. You have helped me so much. I have a place to stay and I think I'll be good. Thank you once again for all you help.

[ccsmod10]

REL Thank you

You are very welcome! We are glad to hear you have a safe place to go. Remember that you can call us at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929). Take care and please stay safe.

[Unregistered]

16 from louisiana

Hey its me again I was planning on staying till Christmas so I'll leave remembering them being happy but now I'm scared the same things that have kept me here are starting to pop up. I've looked at my problem every way I can and its either leave or wait for God to put me out of my misery. I'm scared that without me my family is going to fall apart. We don't work well together... and some times I feel like if I leave then they'll be gone. Are my feelings wrong or am I right to worry?
Sorry to bother you again...

16 from louisiana.

[ccsmod7]

Re: 16 from Louisiana

Thanks for reaching out again with your questions and concerns. It's understandable you may be having some of these mixed feelings about leaving. It's not always an easy decision to figure out what you want to do and how that is going to affect you and your family. It's good that you are taking the time to figure out what you really want to do. In the end this is not a decision we can make for you but we also want you to know that we are here to support you. Our concern is safety and there is always someone available to discuss safe options and resources. Again if you would like to talk with someone directly you can always call us, 24 hours a day, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. There is always someone here to listen.

[Unregistered]

help me please

im 16 years old and i come from a mexican family. i dont know what to do because i cant keep living hell. i want to leave NOW. I dont know what wrong with me i have put up with it for 16 years . i am almost 18 but i cant take 2 more years i honestly cant . i didnt thing i would break but i did . i cant take it anymore. my mother is the biggest bully of my life. im realizing the effects it is having on me . i cant trust anyone so i have no idea what my dumb ass is doing typing this out. my mom calls me cabrona, perra, estupida, basura, pendeja, barrata,fea . translated into english that would be **********,slut,hoe,prositute,easy,dumb ass, **********, ugly and trash, i hear this daily. its not hey come here or hey come eat . its perra vente a tragar in otherwords ********** the food is ready or ********** come here. i dont talk to my mom because i cant . if i try expressin gmy feeling she laugh all of sudden its aww the ********** wants to share her feelings. i have no privacy . i get in trouble for having my door closed or wanting to be alone. i cant describe everything that happens to me because i dont know how . ive never shared this with any one and i feel supid for doning so right now cause who cares?! who cares about a random girl that wants to die ? when im in my room minding my own business my mom barges into my room yelling her head off and insulting me with every curse word on earth. she will start throwing things and laugh at me. what can i do ? nothing . why? because she will choke me, hit me, pull my hair, strangle me, hit me with anything in sight , and kick me. i have never hit her in my whole life ,so why does she do this to me ? why does she hate me ?? why am i so worthless ? why does she think im a hoe ??? I AM A VIRGEN!!!! i have NEVER had a boyfriend. i dont even talk to boys because i scared because my self esteem is so low. i am who would want to date a worthless ugly girl anyway? so it really hurts when my mom calls me a prostitute. i hate coming home from school and feeling like my job is to make her happy. because i promis that since i can remember i have never had one day that my mom doesnt treat me like trash. not one day that i dont hear hey you are so ugly i am ashamed of you ! i want to leave but i dont know how ! im not even 18. i have no money no where to go. i Hate her ! i have lost all respect for her . i realize i have been living with the devil in hell since i was born. thw orst part is no one knows ! why? because i dont tell anyone . i go to school and i put my happy face on . i listen to people that are having problems that they think is the end of the world when compared to what i am going through is nothing . no one knows that my house is a portal to hell. i am not allowed to leave anywhere i cant go hang out with my friends any where. why ? because my mom says im stupid they arent really my friends because who would want to be friends with me ? she says no one will ever want to be with me . she says she isnt scared of the law and if i were ever to seek help she would give me one last beating and go proudly and satisfied to jail. shes told me that since she gave me life she would not feel bad to take it away . she says that eveytime ! " im not afraid to kill you " she says. but is this normal since im mexican ? maybe all mexican parents are like this. i doubt it though because i dont see how any other human could live like this. I WANT OUT ! i rather be homeless than keep living this hell . or maybe i could end it all . if my mom wants to kill me then why dont i just do it for her ?

[ccsmod5]

re: help me please

Hey there,

Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through quite a tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that you are not alone. No one ever deserves to be treated the way you have, you are not worthless. You are an extremely brave and strong person for being able to reach out for help. We want you to know that you can count us as part of your support system- we are always here to listen and to help, 24/7. From what you shared, it definitely sounds like you are experiencing some stressful times.

You mention that you have thought of suicide, always remember that you matter. If you are ever feeling this way, please feel free to reach out to the National Suicide Hotline, they are available 24/7. Their number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255), they also have a live chat service that is available 24/7 as well. It can be accessed here: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline...elineChat.aspx.

No one ever deserves to be talked to or treated the way that you have been, regardless of what race or ethnicity a person is. No one should ever have to experience being talked to in this manner. Have you considered talking to a school counselor or to a family friend about what you have been experiencing? Sometimes just being able to talk to someone about your situation could make the situation better, whether it is brainstorming methods to speak to your mother or finding resources to help you. We also want you to know that we can also explore these options with you by simply giving us a call or chatting with us.

We hope that we are able to give you some general information about what we do and how we could help. Please remember that our hotline is available 24/7 and could be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat program that is available every day from 4:30 PM until 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck and hope to get your call or chat soon.

Stay strong,

NRS

[Unregistered]

16 and need help

I'm 16 and need help my dad always being rude he calls me ever name in the book and always telling that I will never gradtion and will never be like him that he better then me. I won't become nothing. I will be pergent be like17 I can't do no more I want leave I have somewhere to go my older brother house he say it okay and he will take care of me. Should I tell teacher so they can help me. Well I have to go to court for all of it? Please

[ccsmod15]

RE: 16 and need help

Hey there,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline! We’re really glad you reached out and we want to help you the best we can.
We’re really sorry your dad is saying those awful things to you and making you feel unwelcome at home. You do not deserve to be spoken to like that, especially from a parent. Everyone deserves a loving and supportive home. We’re really glad you have your older brother to go to, he sounds very supportive. Does your dad know that you are trying to go live at your brother’s house, and if so does he approve? We’re not legal experts here, but generally if you are under 18 and leave the house without your parent’s permission, your parents have the right to file a runaway report. You won’t get in any major legal trouble for running away, but the police will most likely take you back to your dad’s house. Also, anyone over 18 who you are staying with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
It sounds like you have a teacher who you would feel comfortable talking to about this. We’re really glad to hear you have someone supportive at school to go to. Something to keep in mind though is that teachers are mandated reporters. This means that if you give them details that sound like abuse going on at home, they are legally obligated to make an abuse report, which generally involves Child Protective Services and the courts. We can’t say for certain what CPS do, but generally they will try to look for placement within your family first.
You’re very brave and smart for reaching out and trying to get help for yourself because you do not deserve to be treated like this. We would be more than happy to speak with you further about your situation to offer support or help you come up with a plan such as how you would safely get to your brother’s and what you will do when you get there. We are available by chat 4:30pm-11:30pm CST at 1800runaway.org or our 24 hour hotline anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929).

[Unregistered]

16 and verbally and emotional being abused

Hi im 16 I have ran away a few months ago because things in my house got so bad me and my mom fight all the time cause she is jelous of me for being a star athlete and being in the honors classes everything she never did I want us to have a good relationship but she refuses my dad only wants one thing from my mom and once she gives it to him he will side with her all the time he yells at me and tells me im worthless and all this mean stuff I plan on running away again becausw my depression is so bad I have turned to cutting and I cant take it anymore I am about to be pushed over edge please help I domt know what to do anymore