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17 yo runaway in Idaho

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  • 17 yo runaway in Idaho

    I'm 17 and live in Idaho. I ran away once already but spoke to the police and tried to explain my situation and how I didn't feel safe returning to my mother's. They made me go back anyways. I ran away again and now I'm afraid that if they can find me they'll make me go back again.
    My mother has been both physically and emotionally abusive towards me. She has choked, strangled, clawed, and beaten me with belts and plastic coat hangers, which break and then cut into me. She's also slapped me much more than anything but that is allowed as 'corporal punishment' in Idaho. She calls me worthless and useless and says that I won't go anywhere in life, she's called me stupid and an idiot.
    I also don't believe my mother is entirely sane. I'm not sure if it may be MPD, intense paranoia, or bipolar disorder. She resorts to anger and violence very quickly, with little reason. She is extremely irrational and it is hard to have any conversation with her. She constantly looks for reasons to punish me even when I've done nothing wrong or broken no rules. She puts on fronts in public or around people outside of our family, she acts really nice and aparrently bragged to the police about me last time. She revoked my license and told me I couldn't park my car on her property because of where I work. She claims that she doesn't remember any of the times she's hit any of her children. She was the same way with my three older siblings. But has yet to hit my little sister who is 13, even though I remember being strangled as early as 7.
    I would much rather live with my father who is kind and supportive, but has had trouble gaining custody because of his past use of marijuana. But I know I can't go to his house because he will get into trouble.
    Last time I don't think I was yet registered as a runaway before I spoke to the police, now I know I am. I'm worried about them being able to find me and I'm worried about the consequences of running away in Idaho, from my research is among the strictest of states in this regard but I'm uncertain what that implies.

  • #2
    RE: 17 yo runaway in Idaho

    Hello,

    Thank you for writing into the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board. It sounds like you’re going through a very rough time right now. You or your little sister definitely don’t have to be treated that way. Especially when you’re at home; a place that is supposed to be a safe and loving place for you. You always have the right to report any abuse to your local police department or child protective service in your state. If you don’t feel like you’re not comfortable or if you might not know how to do that, you can always call us anytime you want. There is always someone here to help you.

    From what you have stated in your post it sounds like you have already run away for the second time and are concerned about what could happen to you if you are found. Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms on what would happen for someone who is caught/picked-up by the police after being reported as a runaway. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state and it sounds like you have been doing a bit of research on the subject as well. In some states, different police districts don’t even take a report when the youth is 17 years old. To get a more definite answer, our advice would be calling your local non-emergency police in your area.

    It sounds like you have given a lot of thought in to what you want to do in your situation. You have also mentioned that you were thinking about running away to live with your father instead of your mother. You also mentioned that he was having trouble getting custody due to past behaviors. Have you ever tried getting into contact with the case worker that might have been working with you when custody was first given to you mother? That way maybe you can speak on his behalf and perhaps talk about what has been going on between you and your mother at home. If you were to live with your father, what would be your overall plan?

    Once again thank you for writing into the NRS, we are always here to listen and here to help you with everything we can. You can also call into our 24hour hotline (1.800.RUNAWAY) for a more immediate response, as well as connect you to some resources that we might have on hand. Another service that we offer here at the NRS is our chat room which is offered from 4:30pm to 11:30pm/CST (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). If you feel more comfortable with that opinion we are more than welcome to contact us through there.

    Look forward to talking with you and best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Running away

      Heyy so me and my boyfriemd talked and he wants me to move in with him but im 17 and 5 months away from 18 everyone tells me the cops wont do anything but idk and i hate it at my moms and wanna get out what should i do?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Running away

        Hi there,

        Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re looking to move in with your boyfriend because of the way things are going at home with your mom. It’s understandable why you would want to leave if you are hating it at home. We’re here to help as much as we can.

        We’re not legal experts unfortunately, but generally speaking if you leave before the age of 18 without permission from legal guardians, they would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they typically just bring you back home. However, anyone you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring (if they are over 1. It sounds like you have been trying to seek answers and you’ve been hearing different things. Law enforcement’s responses can differ depending on location, so one option you have is to contact your local police department and just ask hypothetically what may happen. You do not have to give identifying information to do this. If you would like assistance, you can call us here at (800) RUNAWAY (786 2929) and we can make that call out with you.

        Best,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        Tell us what you think about your experience!

        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        Comment


        • #5
          My parents

          My parents are in a very strict religion with very hard rules. They don't let me join school sports or hang out with absolutely no school friends because they consider them worldly and bad influence not knowing that in the church it is worst then the outside world. Iam 16 years old I work all summer to buy all my clothing and food when I go out my parent is hard on money and sometimes gets angry or hesitants when he has to spend. I know if I leave the church I will be lonely completely because he won't let me go out with my girl friend and friends I wanna know if I have the right to be able to go and hang out with friends and Be back at home by 9:00 or a resonable hour or if I have any rights to my personal belongings like My phone I bought with my money if he finds it can he forcly take it away can he keep me from seeing my girl friend cause of his dumb religion can he keep me from going out is the question

          Comment


          • #6
            Reply: My Parents

            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
            We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms; however we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.

            If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            Take Care,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              If im a runnaway and refuse to go home what will happen?

              Comment


              • ccsmod8
                ccsmod8 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello there –

                Thanks for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline with your concerns. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.

                As you have probably already read the multiple other threads that we have posted here on the forum board you should know that we are not legal experts. Generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority, your parents would be able to make a runaway report and the police will be able to bring you back home. If you left the city or even the state while on the run, the report will likely follow you. If your parents filed you as a runaway, the report will be entered into the NCIC. That is a national database for missing people and runaways that law enforcement use. So if you did get into trouble with the police in a different state, they will still be able to tell that you are an active runaway. Then they will possible hold you until arrangements can be made to get you back home; in detention or local youth shelter. If you were within the same city and state that your parents are in and refused to go home, they might contact child protective services to do some family mediation and figure out what is going on or they might just release you back to your parents anyway because legally police can’t hold you without you committing a crime.

                If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.

            • #8
              I really want to move to my dads house in gorgia but I live with my mom in Idaho.Am I legally allowed to leave without my moms consent and my father pay for me to go down there and live with him.How can I make that possible? What is EVERYTHING that I have to do? Can she call me in as a runaway?

              Comment


              • ccsmod2
                ccsmod2 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello There,
                Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. If you are 17 you are still considered a minor and your mother could file a runaway report on you. Running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense. What that means is that if you were to runaway and the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. A lot of police departments may not take a runaway report on someone who is 17, every police department is different so it would be best to ask the police department how they handle runaway reports. You could consider asking your mother’s permission to move to your dad’s house. Another option would be to wait until you are 18 where you could legally move to your dad’s without any legal trouble.
                We hope this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more please feel free to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY we are available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
                NRS

            • #9
              I feel scared for my wellbeing and the wellbeing of my siblings and myself, and I made a report against my family which could mean an immediate threat to myself. I turn 18 in 2.5 months and I am scared to stay at home, is there anything I can do?

              Comment


              • #10
                I feel scared for my well being

                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

                With everything that you have been going through at home with your parent’s it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to child protective services or call 911 to seek emergency assistance immediately.

                Take care,
                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #11
                  Hello, Im 16 and I will be 17 in January. My mom and I have always been on the fighting side but today I had come home sick from school and she told me to clean the house real fast and watch our little sibling. I was doing that but I didn’t feel good at all so I was slow and my mom came in when I was using the bathroom and she had gotten mad and started yelling and screaming at me and as I was her trying to explain that I will work and get it done. As I was cleaning she continued to yell at me and I told her to f*** you and quit riding my s***. She does this a lot and screams and yells at me and my sibling to clean and that we never do anything right and is very criticizing towards us. She told me to leave and that I had 24 hours to go back to our old town and live with my Boyfriend. Yes he knows about this and yes he is okay with this but he wanted me to see if things would settle down so I waited. I had packed my stuff and she saw that I was ready to leave and said that if I leave she will call the cops. Then she screamed and screamed and slammed doors and had been calling me names like selfish and rude and other names in the book. I want to leave and I have recording of her calling me names but I do not have recording of her telling me to leave. She has done this before and told me to leave but when I leave she calls me in as a runaway. Is there anything I could do legally to get out? What should I do in this case?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod4
                    ccsmod4 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello,
                    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can.
                    It sounds like the circumstances have you feeling very frustrated. You don’t deserve to get yelled and screamed at or called names. It’s not your fault that she is doing this. As upsetting as it may be it is important that you remember to exercise self- care. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
                    Sometimes when communication breaks down with someone you are close to it makes it difficult to know just where to turn. You did well reaching out today. We would like you to know NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.


                    We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. We can’t tell you what to do but if you would like to talk more about your situation and explore options, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


                    Take care,
                    NRS
                    Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-24-2019, 03:30 AM.

                • #12
                  So I'm currently In a bad situation myself, my older brother molested me and there has been a lot of arguing and blaming, at the time he molested me I was 15 and he was 22. I later on Christmas night told my parents what had happened because my cousin said that she was approached by him while he was under the influence as well. My parents have kept saying that I instigated/ promoted it because I drank. I was told by my family that it was my fault because of the clothes I wore and that I liked what had happened, so basically got shamed. I didn't do anything back to him and I was silent the whole time, I remember everything. I later in February reached out to my school resource officer, and he filed a report. I got my phone taken away and everything taken away. I remember after talking to the officer he said he would call my mother and right after he did my mother shut off my data. I was skipping class a lot at the end of the year because I was becoming mentally unstable and getting into things like watching even more porn and going onto omegle and drinking occasionally. I AM ADOPTED I got adopted in 2018, I was questioning my mom about it a lot because someone had mentioned it to me that after getting adopted (at least in the state of idaho) that they get at least 600,000 dollars worth of child support money for me. I feel as if I was neglected by my mother in this situation because she never came to talk to me and my dad said some of the similar things like you need to clothe yourself now and stuff like that. They said something about a treatment plan but I skipped the day it was scheduled So I video recorded me and my mother arguing and she already knew that I had the phone, my foster sister said something about it and my mom attacked me for the phone because it had evidence of her not denying what my brother did as well as some people suggested that I was being mentally abused. So I bit her and tried to push away from her but she got the phone and is now hiding it somewhere, I went down the street to my friend's house and called the cps on the emergency hotline. I left a note saying where I was at and texted her saying where I was at on my friend's phone. A couple days later she showed up with a cop at my friend's house and now my family has pressed charges for throwing something at my foster sister and biting my mom. I emailed my teacher about the problem and it hopefully reached my school resource officer but its highly unlikely. Some of my closest friends know about my situation and have been trying to help me. I told my mom that I looked up some counseling showing that I'm taking initiative so she can't tell everyone that I'm crazy or some thing like that like she has been. I was sitting at a curb a couple days before the fight, and a car full of drunk angry men yelled "hey!" "******** you" "you lied to me" and I flipped them off and the did a u turn and while they were driving off they threw a twisted tea can out the window. I feel that not only am I in danger with my adoptive brother continuing to be around, that my adoptive family isn't getting the mental help they need and they are putting me in danger to society. CPS did not write anything down, and a detective did not come to talk to me as promised. I planned to stay and fight but as of write now I am only one person and I live with several who my brother has convinced he has good intentions which I feel is false because I think he falsely admitted to doing what he did to be, I believe he twisted his story so that my family would turn against me because of some of the mental and emotional problems I have dealt with in my life, I feel like they are using my past trauma against me so that I won't do anything to solve the issue. It was said that I am getting counseling in the conversation I had with my mom, as of right now it has been difficult for me to trust her because the woman literally attacked me for a phone. Before the situation I was already in a lot of danger with my biological family, I had experienced sexual abuse from my uncle who was a minor and he himself stopped and said hey this isn't right. My grandparents were physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive as well. I got into the foster care system when I was 10 for those things, My biological mother eventually got custody of me and took me from Arizona up to Boise city in Idaho. She was basically faced with financial problems as well as some mental health and substance abuse in her life and she didn't have a house of her own, and eventually we got an apartment. She was in a relationship with a man who was 35 at the time, I was 11. The reason why I was taken from her was because she kept going in and out of jail and her boyfriend molested me as well. I tried to run away from her a lot and that was the reason why neighbors called the police, because she tried to shove me into her car. So she got arrested for violating a no contact order and I got put into foster care again. Her boyfriend denied everything and passed the lie detective test, so it was never justified. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts after the event happened and depression, when I was in my mother's custody they had me admitted into Inter mountain mental hospital in Boise. When I was in foster care I bounced around a little and the last home I was in I asked if it was ok if I just felt like I wanted to die, they said a few things like "I think we have to say something" something like that. So they took me to the ER and we stayed there for a long time and then they put me into Saint Alfonso's children's mental hospital and then I got transferred into BHC in Idaho falls and was released early because of path foster care. So as of right now I am worried for my safety as well as others and I have a possible place to go out of state but I am afraid to pursue because of the world wide pandemic. I feel unsafe in my environment and My last option for reaching out for help is counseling and after that if I feel like it's not working out I might have a place out of state that may be safe for me to be that I could get education and my basic needs and emotional support/ mental support and be in a safe environment. I am currently 16 and will be turning 17 this year in October. I still at this moment have no form of communication except emailing teachers for work via computer. I have been in contact with friends through Instagram and I am just trying to see if there is a possibility of getting the help I need through counseling and then dipping if it doesn't work out, and I cannot be safe.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod16
                    ccsmod16 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello,
                    Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been through a lot. We thank you so much for telling us your story. That took a lot of guts. You’ve shown a lot of courage coming here and telling us all that you’ve been through. It takes a lot to talk about these things and we think you’re really brave.
                    We’re so sorry to hear about how things have been for you. It sounds like you’ve been trying to do what is right but just can’t seem to find the help you deserve. We want you to know that we believe you and we believe your story. We want to help the best we can.
                    It sounds like you’ve been through filing reports with CPS and are aware how to do that. Sometimes they can be slow to act or not have enough evidence to move forward. If you’d like to file another report for anything that’s happened recently we can help with that should you want to do that. We’re not here to convince you to do that, if you don’t want to. However, we could offer a conference call with the abuse reporting service should that be the route you go.
                    It sounds like you’re requesting counseling services. We want to help you with that, however, due to the public nature of your forum it might be best if you tried to call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or tried a Live Chat right here on this website, www.1800runaway.org. We’re here 24/7 and we’re confidential. We won’t judge you or tell you what to do.
                    It might also benefit you to talk about this situation with someone here so we can come up with a safety plan if you decide to go and live with a friend that you met online. As you might be well aware, meeting people online can be dangerous. While we can’t stop you from going to someone’s home that you don’t know well, we can talk about a plan for you should things end up in a way that isn’t safe or not what you expected.
                    We’re here to help you in any way that we can. Please consider giving us a call. Stay safe.
                    Best,
                    NRS

                • #13
                  I’m currently 17 and a half and considering running away because of the unsafe conditions at my mothers home. If I was to run away and she reported me to the police as a runaway, and they didn’t catch me until after I had turned 18, would I still get in legal trouble for running away? Or does it not matter once I am no longer a minor?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,
                    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
                    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
                    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
                    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                    Be safe,
                    NRS

                • #14
                  I’m 17 and I’ll be 18 in 2 months. I want to get out of my house because my parents are very strict and are mentally abusive. If I ran away would the cops looks for me considering the fact that I’m so close to being 18?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,
                    Thank you for reaching out to us and explaining a little bit more about what's been going on.

                    You don't deserve to be hurt in anyway. We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. It takes great courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out.

                    Leaving home can be hard and unsafe in many situations. It can be helpful to think about where you might stay, how you might pay for food, rent and other expenses.
                    Talking to an adult you trust can be helpful. School counselors can be of great resource.

                    We are not legal experts but your parents are responsible for you until you turn 18. Generally speaking running away is not a crime and if your parents are to file a police report the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway and get in trouble with the law. However, as you mentioned at 17 laws can vary and the best way to find out what might happen is to call the local police departments non emergency number.

                    If you are being hurt in anyway you can consider contacting Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can provide you more information on filing a report. Emotional abuse can be hard to prove in many cases.

                    Coping with all this stress can be hard. It can be helpful to talk to a school counselor or another therapist. Practicing good coping skills on a regular basis can help reduce the stress. Trying to do things you enjoy everyday can be helpful. Exercising, meditating, journaling, listening to music, reading, talking to friends can be some things to consider.

                    You are not alone and we are here to support you through this. If you want to talk more about what is going on and what options you might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

                    We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.

                    Best,
                    NRS
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