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Help!! I need an answer by tomorrow or it will be too late!

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  • Help!! I need an answer by tomorrow or it will be too late!

    I need an answer by midday April 13 2008, or it will be too late :[

    I've been best friends with a guy for a long time now, and I've been dating him for two months. He decided that he plans to run away tomorrow, in the middle of the night. He's taking one of our friends with him. My boyfriend is 17, our friend is 15, and I am 15. They are asking me to go with them. I want to go, but I don't want to be in an unsafe enviroment and I want all of us to be ok. My boyfriend and friend [he's a male friend, for the record] want to go because of their problems talking to their parents and their strong hatred towards their parents. I want to go because I know they need me and I hate my mom and my stepdad. I know my mom cares about me, but I dislike my stepdad greatly and I always have urges to cuss him out. I miss my real dad, but he lives in Louisiana.

    They are serious about leaving.

    Should I go with them?
    If I go, can I call 1 800 RUNAWAY periodically to let them know where we are and have them help us out and NOT tell anyone where we are?
    Will we go to jail for running away?
    If I come back on my own, will I be introuble with the police?
    What can happen to us?

  • #2
    Re: Help!! I need an answer by tomorrow or it will be too late!

    Hello,

    Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to respond to some of the more serious questions you must have spend time struggling with lately and for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard in this time of need. We want to commend you for taking the time, to entrust us with your story, and we hope that we can continue to commit to providing you with solid resolutions to some of your previous mentioned problems. We are committed to helping keep America's runaway and at-risk youth safe and off the streets. However, we are not in the position to give advice because we are non-judgmental and very confidential. We are here to provide a listening ear to you and your friends but also to offer resources and referrals to keep you safe. Since your safety is one of our priorities, we hope that you are able to understand and appreciate the nature to our work and feel that although we are not able to tell you what to do in this situation, we can at least provide you with what we know to be true of runaway laws in most situations.

    We applaud not only your commitment to your relationship but respect your need to better understand what you are getting into. We imagine that this is a scary time for you because you are now put in a position to choose between doing the right thing for yourself and supporting your friends. We empathize with your situation because you at least acknowledge some of your fears with getting caught up in an unsafe situation since no one is going to know for sure the outcome of this situation until it is said and done. Have you three sat down and hashed out a plan that is guaranteed to yield better results than not? We also want all of you to be safe and look forward to all of your calls when you all feel ready. Usually, it is easy to choose sides when you three already have so much in common with hardships stemming from parents. Have you thought about alternatives to running away? Can nothing change for any of you? We are sorry to hear that you are not doing so well with parents and we are not here to judge you. Navigating between stepparents can be difficult for any young person such as yourself and your need to be closer to your father makes complete sense. Have you spoken to your father about what you are dealing with? What do you think he is going to do to help out? Have you considered what your mother is going to do after you leave home? What is your expectation for what life is going to be like when you leave and when you choose to return? Do you have money saved for a proper plan for survival? Have you considered where you might go and with whom you might stay with? As stated earlier, we are very confidential and never reveal what you say to us to anyone else. We do hope that if you choose to leave, that you count on us to be there for you if you were struggling to make the next move.

    Although we cannot tell if you should go with your friends or stay home, we can at least assure you of the fact that running away is not a crime. However, your parents reserves the right to file a runaway report on your behalf and can keep it with the police until you decide to return home or if you were unfortunately picked up by the police. You do receive a status as a runaway with the police, locally and nationally, until the person who filed the report reported that, you are home. In some cases the report becomes voided when you pass the age of adulthood. Generally, the age for when you can leave home without permission is 18 and varies from state to state. The one thing to note is where you stay and with whom, since it is illegal for anyone to harbor a minor and can lead that person to legal troubles and even jail time. The good news is that you are welcome to call us at our 1800RUNAWAY number 24 hours a day to leave a message for your parents or to set up a conference call, if you desire. The way the message service work is for you and your family to have open lines of communication. If you called, we can take a message, with positives and no surprises for your parents and have another staff or volunteer deliver the message to your parents. We hold on to the message you give until we deliver it to your parents and can take a message from your parents to store here for you until you call in for it. We do not tell parents of your whereabouts since someone else, not the person who takes the message, gets to deliver it to your parents. If you choose to call us to facilitate a conversation between you and your parents, we can do this but only with your parental guardian. It is totally a matter of choice if your parents decide to help you out but we are not in any position to compel them to take care of you.

    Before we go, we wanted to note that in some cases, you can go to juvenile for a few days, if you are caught when on the run, depending on your state. You are made to see a judge to answer to the reasons for running and can be sent back to your parents or release to them. It is sometimes recommended that you call your local police to find out what is the procedure for when someone runs away. You do not have to give names or you can call us to have us conference a call with you with your police to ask questions without revealing your identity. If and when you choose to come back home, it is probably going to have to be your parents that decide your punishments, if there are any. We are certain that if your return, you are no longer considered a runaway and can resume your lives as normal but there may need to be some damage repairs done to relationships and we want to help in this way also. If we could provide referrals to help your families, we want to help in any way we can. Please take time to consider some of what we stated and we hope to hear from you soon. Good luck to you and your friends.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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