Running away and finding a job

[Unregistered]

I am contemplating running away, I am 14. I have been thinking about this for a year now. I have a car (it's legal to get a driver's license at 14 in my state) and I want to go to California. I can stay in my car for a little while and go to a local gym or community center for showers and stuff. I have almost everything worked out but I don't know how I will pay for food because I don't know what kind of job someone my age can get without a social security card, I can get it but I'm pretty sure my income tax can be linked to my location and reveal it can't it? So other than a job I have almost everything figured out. I have wanted to leave for a while because my family is SOOOO SCREWED UP!!! My parents have been divorced since I was 3 and my brother who is only 12 is probably the worst human being I have ever met. I get to see my dad regularly but he is always exhausted from working so much and is always in a bad mood (he has a terrible temper). He has to support him and his mother, he moved in with her after the divorce and now she relies on him completely. My mom is constantly on my back about something usually school or my brother. She always takes his side on everything she naturally assumes that I'm the guilty one when half the time my brother just made something up or faked getting hurt to get me in trouble. Both of my parents will never listen to me about anything, they assume that they are right and I am wrong and I can't speak my mind about anything. I take constant verbal abuse such as " you stupid idiot boy!!" From my mother. Whenever I make a mistake my dad will say something like "stop acting like you are retarded". I can tell my dad isn't intentionally being mean but the weirdest things can piss him off and ruin everyone's day. If I could I would live with my dad but because he lives with his mother and the house isn't big enough I can't. My mom can also convince a judge to do anything, I actually had to wait until I got my driving permit to be in a car with my dad because she convinced the judge that he was a bad driver and was endangering mine and my brother's lives when in reality he is a better driver that her. She just needs control over anything. She is also very strict and doesn't trust me which is why I only have like two friends and they are both complete idiots. If you can think of a way to improve my situation other than running away please let me know. I also can't be removed from my mother's custody because she has never actually physically abused me. She also claims to be the perfect Christian mother when she has a boyfriend but I occasionally catch her on a dating website or emailing and texting guys she met on them, it's like she has one hand on him and one hand on the door. Please tell me how I can get a job on my own so I can leave this terrible life and start a new one, or give me suggestions on how to fix this.

[ccsmod9]

RE: Running away and finding a job

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like living at home is tough for you. You don't deserve to be called names by your parents.

It sounds like you've thought a lot about running away and are trying to formulate a plan. We are here to listen and to help in any way we can. We can help you think through all of this, if you'd like to discuss this with us. It sounds like your main concern is whether you can get a job at 14. You can be employed at 14; however, there are rules and restrictions. You can learn more about that here: http://www.youthrules.dol.gov/know-the-limits/14-15.htm. You will likely need to provide identification when you apply to jobs. This may identify you as a runaway. Have you considered looking into staying at a youth shelter, or perhaps with family and friends? This may provide a safer, more stable environment where you may not need to work.

Do you have any ideas of how your home life could improve so that you can stay at home? We offer a service called conference calling in which a liner from NRS would mediate a call between you and your parent(s). You can discuss how you're feeling, what problems you have at home, and your ideas for improvement, with one of us to support you. If this interests you, you can call us to initiate conference calling at any time you and your parents are available.

If you'd like to talk further, would you consider calling us? We're available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week on our Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat with us by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red live chat button. Chat is available every evening from 4:30 to 11:30 pm Central time. We hope to hear from you soon.

Best of luck,

NRS