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  • i don't want to move to mexico!

    Im 17 and im turning 18 in january 2015. currently my family is looking for a new home because my family member is kicking us out,out of pure evil. This person has always been cold hearted and rejected their own family which consists of 8 children, including my parent, so now me and my family (mom dad and sibling) have to find a new home with no money. They find it easy to live in mexico, its beneficial for them not for me, but as selfish as this sounds university is around the corner! I need to finish highschool but i honestly cant continue living in mexico itll make things slower for me. I want to be a comic book artist.. My parents bearly have money for food, how can they pay for school.. Fortunatly for me, i have a intelligent caring boyfriend whos willing to join the army under a marriage contract, where as most of you know we get gov. Housing and money. Hes willing to pay for my school with the extra money, and later on after service transfer the education money. Hes already signed in, he scored a 78 asvap and other top scores which means he has a secure job. In this i see myself being financially secure, education payed, and someone who will take care of me. Yes all parents out there look at this as a drastic step,however i have nothing to lose. My parents are uneducated, have no school, no securejob, and cant provide for my higher necessities in the near future. I've discussed it with them and it concluded in "your just a kid" and me crying like a baby well cause im simply Im frustrated! They have already said no, that it doesnt matter that im poor or have old saggy clothes, i can get scholarships in the future and maybe everything will change for you is what they say. I just cant do this no longer ive been low-income for 17 years, i want the benefits so bad that ive considered running away. This isnt a proper life for a girl. im a GIRL living in mexico? I like the united states no thankyou.... My cousin was murdered and several of my friends siblings cousins etc. as well as rapings i just dont feel safe or secure in anyway with my parents. Now after that huge backround story, my question is: is there a way legally where i can get emancipated without their consent? Can a court decide im betteroff with him than my parents knowing the benefits for me In this situation? If i run away what measures should i take to not be found, or what should i do to be out of their reach till im 18, but i dont want to risk my highschool education either. Ive tried talking, explaining, theres just no way and i dont want to be dragged down. Could anyone give me solutions that only fit in my idea box. Why am i so stubborn? because every decision ive let some other adult take for me has ended up in disaster( effecting me mentally and physically, academic wise etc)
    If i do run away and get contacted by authorities what legal actions can i take against my parents without it resulting in foster care, juvy or any other circumstance not favorable or opposite of my wants and needs
    Also what should i avoid saying and doing so i wont get into problems with cops.
    any advice pro me being away from my parents just til im 18 is wanted.

  • #2
    re: i don't want to move to mexico!

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out and posting your story with us. It certainly sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. It sounds like it’s a very overwhelming time for you and your family. You’ve been dealing with so much for so long. It’s got to be exhausting. It seems like you have a lot of things going for you, too! You’re boyfriend is supportive and you seem like a dedicated person who’s looking to improve their situation. That is so impressive. It sounds frustrating that your parents are so stubborn. You contacted the right place and we can try and answer the questions that you have. Let’s see how we can help you out.

    You’re thinking about your future and how to make it happen. It is admirable and you’re asking great questions to try and figure out how to make that happen. We aren’t legal experts here, but we are able to speak generally to your questions. You mention emancipation. Working through the emancipation could be an option for you, but it usually does require the consent of your guardians. Emancipation rules and qualifications vary from state to state. Usually the first step of emancipation is reaching out to a lawyer. You can reach out to the Youth Law Center (http://www.ylc.org/) to see if they have any advice or resources for you. The Law Center’s number is 415-543-3379 and are available during normal business hours. If you call us, we can also look up specific legal resources in your area.

    You ask another good question about whether the courts would place guardianship with your boyfriend. The answer to that is that would be very rare. If the courts remove guardianship from your parents it would most likely be because they are putting you in an unsafe situation (physical abuse). If the courts did remove guardianship, they would very most likely not put you in custody of your boyfriend.

    If you decide to leave without the permission of your parents, then your parents have the right to file a runaway report with the police. If the police find you, they could force you back home. Now, the closer you are to 18, the less likely the police are to search for you and to force you back. Something to keep in mind is that the police would be able to look for you at your school. The law and rules differ from state to state and from county to county. You can always reach out to your local police department by calling their non emergency number and asking them how they treat runaways in order to get a more specific answer.

    Your last question is a really great one, but it is difficult to answer. If you run away, you would not be placed in juvenile detention if you are caught. It is not illegal for you to run, so you would just be returned back to your parents until you are 18. If you are found by the police and then you absolutely refuse to go back home, they could place you in foster care or a group home until you are 18.

    We hope that this begins to answer your questions. If you would like to talk more, please reach out to us through our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY). We are her 24 hours a day and are completely confidential and anonymous. We would be able to get a better sense as to what is going on and talk through options and resources that are available in order for you to get what you need to succeed and make it through this time. If you aren’t able to call, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

    You’re doing the right thing by reaching out and getting answers. It’s smart of you to get information and try to make an informed decision. It doesn’t sound like you are stubborn, as you say, but that you want to improve what you’re going through.

    We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      searching?

      Id like to runaway. I want to go to mexico with my cousins or to my girlfriend's house. Can cops look for me in mexico? If i go to my girlfriends house can they search her house without her moms consent? Go through their stuff?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re

        Hello there,

        We're glad you decided to reach out to us. It sounds like you are considering running away rather than having to move to Mexico. We imagine a move like that would be tough. We aren't legal experts, but we do have a general knowledge of what tends to happen in runaway situations within the U.S. Unfortunately, we have less familiarity with what happens internationally.

        If you are a minor and you runaway in the U.S., your parents/guardians have the right to file you as a runaway. That report goes into a National database so if you leave one state and are spotted in another state you can still come up as a runaway. If the police decide to actively search for you and suspect you are at your girlfriend's house, it is possible they would come to her house. Running away is normally just a status offense, but harboring a runaway is often considered a crime. We are here to talk to you more about your situation and hopefully help you come up with some options. Please try contacting us directly either through our Live Chat (open every day 4:30 to 11:30pm CST at http://www.1800runaway.org) or 24/7 by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929.) Good luck!

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          But can they search her house without a warrent if my guardian thinks im there?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: searching?

            Hello again,

            Whether the police will be able to search your girlfriend's or cousin's house without a warrant is a great question. However, we cannot say for certain as we are not law enforcement unfortunately. If you would like to continue discussing your situation, please reach out to us directly either by calling us 24/7 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Or, if you prefer online communication, our Live Chat is open every day from 4:30 to 11:30pm CST. All you have to do is visit http://www.1800runaway.org, click on the red Live Chat button, and fill out a brief form and then we can chat. Good luck!


            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I dont want to leave.

              Hi im 16 and live in Illinois and my parents want me to move to Mexico. I dont want to go because im still in highschool and i graduate in 2016. Its selfish of them to make me want to leave my studies. I wouldnt mind if i had already finished school but i havent and i want to able to. Can they actually force me to move to Mexico with them? Please help

              Comment


              • #8
                RE: I don't want to leave.

                Hello,

                Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of what has been going on. We are so sorry to hear that you are being forced to go to Mexico. It sounds like your family dynamics are not very supportive of what you want. It must be hard for you right now. We think that it’s a great step you took in reaching out to us. We are here to listen and support you in what ways we can.

                You asked a really good question- can your parents force you to go to Mexico. We are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms what might happen if you decided not to go to Mexico. Running away from your parents is not a criminal offense, it is a status offense. This is the same thing if you were caught ditching school-you would be brought back home if they found you. If that were the case, your parents would have the option of filing a runaway report with the police. This lets them know that they cannot be held legally responsible for you. If found then they would most likely bring you back to your parents. If you are staying with anyone, then they could possibly be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense.

                It sounds like there is some things going on that make you not want to leave for Mexico, such as finishing school. One resource I can offer you is a way for you to enroll in school without your parents consent. This has a slogan of “enroll now, ask questions later.” It is called the McKinney Vento Act. For more information about how this law applies to runaways go to http://www.serve.org/nche/downloads/briefs/youth.pdf. You would have to get in touch with the Homeless Youth Liaison in order to enroll into school under the Act. For more information you can go to http://www.serve.org/nche/states/state_resources.php . This is somewhere you can go in hopes of finishing school in the US if your parents do not allow you to.

                We are so sorry that you are being forced to move to Mexico. We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can call us on our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or you can chat with us every day from 4:30pm-11:30pm. We hoped this helped and we look forward to hearing from you. We wish you the best of luck.

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Im 17 and my mom wanys to send me to mexico with my dad can she force me to go if i dont want to??

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    RE:

                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    Im 17 and my mom wanys to send me to mexico with my dad can she force me to go if i dont want to??
                    Hello and thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. You mentioned that your mom wants to send you to Mexico with your father but you do not want to go. It sounds like you are in a difficult place with your mom wanting to send you to Mexico but you want to stay. To answer your question, we are not legal experts but can speak generally. Since you have not yet reached the age of majority (which is 18 in most states), your parents have the right to decide where you will be living as they are your legal guardians. We are wondering if you are able to explore other ways to stay in the states until you reach the age of majority. Perhaps there is a family member you may be able to stay with. If you would like to talk more about your situation and explore some options, please consider reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline by calling 1-800-786-2929. If you are unable to call in, we also have a live chat service through our website www.1800runaway.org.

                    We wish you well and look forward to hearing from you to provide further support.

                    Take care,

                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi I'm 13 and I live in little rock,ar. My father got deprted not too long ago and everything has changed since then. My mother thinks that life will get easier if we move to Mexico. I'm at the end of my 8th grade year and I really wanted to get a scholarship. I don't know what to do I want to stay here but I cant. What should I do???
                      ​​​​​​

                      Comment


                      • ccsmod5
                        ccsmod5 commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline through our public forum. It takes courage to reach out for support. It sounds like you are dealing with a tough situation and you are not in agreeance with moving to Mexico. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts and are non directive and would not be able to give you advice. If you want to talk about other possible options, you can call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY ( (786-2929).

                        Again, please do not hesitate to call us directly to talk through options directly through our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). If you can’t call in, you can chat with us through our website (www.RUNAWAY.org) from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Time. We look forward to your call or chat.

                        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                    • #12
                      hi im 17 about to turn 18 on January 07. My dad is forcing me to move to mexico by next week because of my "behavior", however i do everything he tells me to do and have good grades at school. its my last year in high school and expect to graduate in may. I want to stay here to finish my education, but my father is saying that he is allowed to send me to mexico for my last year. what should i do?

                      Comment


                      • ccsmod10
                        ccsmod10 commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Hi there,

                        Thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. We understand how it can be hard to ask for help. You are making a great first step to find out what options are available to you.

                        That sounds frustrating that your dad wants to send you to Mexico, especially in your last year of high school. That’s great that you are on track to graduate and that it is coming up so quickly. It can be hard to talk to your parents in a way that you feel like they are understanding your feelings and needs. We offer a conference call service where we can help mediate the conversation with your dad and help you guys come to an agreement that works for both of you.

                        Another option you might be able to try is going to counseling together. There are counselors that will charge on a sliding scale. You can look at samhsa.gov to find a counselor in your area.

                        Other options might be to move to a transitional living facility. They can help you finish school, get job training, and other resources to make sure you are ready to live on your own. You can search for some in your area, or you can chat or call us and we can help find resources in your area (1800-RUN-AWAY or www.1800runaway.org). If your dad will agree, you can also go live with someone else in your area, so you can continue going to the same school. This is called an alternate living situation.

                        Thanks again for reaching out to us. If you would like to speak more about any of these options, please feel free to call in or chat with us. We are available 24/7. We’re here to listen, here to help.

                    • #13
                      Can your parents force you to move to Mexico at the age of 18 ?

                      Comment


                      • ccsmod1
                        ccsmod1 commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Hey there,

                        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. We aren't legal experts here at NRS but generally speaking, if you are an American citizen at the age of 18 you are considered an adult and can live wherever you please. If you are not currently a US citizen or are in the process of becoming one then you may have different restrictions placed on you. If this is the case then you may want to speak with a legal advocate. You can find legal aid groups near you by going to https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

                        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                        Stay safe,
                        NRS

                    • #14
                      I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MEXICO?
                      hi I'm 14 and my paretens siad if i keep behaving like i am they siad there going to send me to mexico i am only freshman and i dont want to leave i want to countia studying and well idk what to do right becaues i want throught derpisssion and my parents did sopourt a lot but here a thing they care more for my sistert then me say i do something good they just won't care about but when my sister does somthing good they are happy whatever i do there just not happy and well that i was thinking to runaway but idk it is hard i just think i am not safe with my partents becaues my paretns could be mad at me idk just help me on this

                      Comment


                      • ccsmod2
                        ccsmod2 commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Hello There,
                        Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to provide support. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and we are here to help. You do not deserve to be threatened to be sent to Mexico, if they send you there without your parents present that can possibly be neglect.
                        It is understandable that you are feeling depressed, one resource that may help you is called NAMI. It stands for the national alliance for mental illnesses and they can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI. You can also try and talk to a trusted adult or a friend about what is going on.
                        We know you mentioned wanting to run away, we are not legal experts but we do have some information. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you it is a possibility that you could be brought back home.
                        We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to talk further about options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
                        NRS

                    • #15
                      hi, im 16 and my mom is saying she wants to permanently move me to mexico because she is done with me. i dont want to go, and if i actually do go im most definitely going to runaway. i have a plan and place i could stay. also can my mom force me to go to mexico against my will?

                      Comment


                      • ccsmod6
                        ccsmod6 commented
                        Editing a comment
                        Hello, Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re having some tough situations with your mother. We’re sorry things are reaching a point where both of you are thinking about and planning alternative living arrangements.

                        To answer your direct question, Yes, legally given you’re 16 years old your mother has the legal right to make the decision of where you live. Once you hit 18 (or 19 and 20 in some states) years old you can make that decision yourself. If you’d like the precise age you’re considered an adult in your state please reach out to us at https://www.1800runaway.org/. It’s important to note we don’t know the child safety or runaway laws in Mexico and what rights you could or couldn’t have if you’re forced to live in Mexico. But regardless, if you’re resolved to runaway either in the United States or in Mexico we’re glad you have a “plan and place” you could stay. So many teens don’t and it can get dangerous quick for them. Based on our extensive experience helping runaway youth, the details of your plan are crucial to being safe and stable.

                        Here are some key things to ensure you before you runaway:
                        • Stay at your new place for 6 months or longer. It’s important to plan-out a long term secondary living plan so you can consistently support yourself. You may want to consider how many months you could stay there or if you could stay there for a year.
                        • Know who you’re staying with to ensure there are no bad surprises. Some youth find a place but unexpected or unwanted guests and roommates are also there causing a dangerous or dysfunctional situation. You may want to triple check that you know everyone who will be sharing your space.
                        • Have a plan to get or keep a job, or some way to ensure income is coming in to afford essentials. Some youth get completely cut off financially from friends and family and quickly find themselves in dangerous situations without many options. You may want to think about how you can self-sufficiently bring in money for essentials like food and rent.
                        • Have a plan B. Or someone to call to help you out. Sometimes plans change or the unexpected occurs. It’s really helpful to have another place or group of people who you could talk to who would have your back in the short or long term if Plan A falls through. No matter where you live, the most important thing is that you’re prioritizing your safety and stability. So if you feel you have no other route but runaway, the details make a difference in having a stable and safe environment to do things like work, go to school or even have a social life. We’re here for you if you want help discussing your options or your plan if your current situation progresses in any way.

                        If you would like to talk more about what is going on, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

                        Sincerely,
                        The National Runaway Safeline
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