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  • Hi, help please.

    Hello,
    I've searched through some of the forums and i'm hoping that you can help me. I have a very...different problem then alot of these people. I actually have a very good life and family. I get straight A's, i have wonderful parents, wonderful freinds, I...really should be happy. However, i have depression problems along with many other things and latley I feel like i'm about to explode. I have to escape. I have to get away. About 7 months ago I meet a boy that lives in tennessee, i live in oregon. I love him very much, and i want to escape if only for a week to see him. I turn 16 April 9th. I plan to runaway in the middle of April and drive to tennessee. Please, don't try and change my mind. I need to do this for me, for myself. I just...don't know where i'm going to get the money for gas. And i feel horrible about doing this to my family. And school... there's just so much. I feel like i'm going to fall apart.
    Please, help me.
    Thanks

  • #2
    Re: Hi, help please.

    Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Switchboard and hope that we can be of assistance. We are sorry to hear that you have been feeling depressed and the feeling of wanting to get away or explode is understandable. Have you talked to anyone about how you have been feeling (friends, family, teacher, counselor or adviser)? If so, how do you feel it went for you? Sometimes it can be hard to talk to others about our feelings and maybe feeling rejected if they do understand. Depression can affect a diverse population, which could be from all types on backgrounds, home life, age, race, rich or poor. How long have you been feeling depress? Have you felt depressed before? If yes, what was helpful for you? Do you feel suicidal or had been suicidal before? Have you acted on those feels by trying to commit suicide? Do you think that counseling services would be an option for you? There is a National Suicide Hotline that you can call any time you are feeling sad, depress or thoughts of suicide. They can be reached at
    1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

    You had also mention meeting a boy from Tennessee that you would like to visit and possible escaping for a few days. How did you meet your friend? Have you been able to map out the distance and amount of time it might take? Do you feel that driving to Tennessee from Oregon would be sometime that you would do a lone? It sounds like you have been putting a plan together for you and that gas money might be a problem. Have you thought about money for food or a hotel room (a hotel room might be hard due to most hotels will only allow adults to stay on their own)? Who do you believe you could go to for money?You had talked about needing to runaway for yourself. What are you looking to get out of runaway? Have you run away in the past? If so, do you remember what had happened at the time? Do you think your parents would file a runaway report? It sounds like this has been a difficult choice to make. You had brought up that you wanted to escape and feel horrible about how your family and school would take the new of you runaway. Do you that escaping to another state would be safe? Have you considered staying with friends, relatives or youth program as a way to be away from home? What if things don’t come together as you planned? Have you been able to think about your back up plan? What do you think will be like at home when you return for Tennessee? Would you be missing school?

    Let us tell you about what we do here. We are a 24/7 confidential crisis line, which you can remain anonymous. We are non-judging, so we do not try to change your mind. If you decide you are ready to call us we can assistant you with options that could be considered. Will you have a license and insurance for the car? We would love to hear from you form you to explore a plan that will work for you! We can be reach at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Good luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hi, help please.

      Well, i started having depression problems when i was ten years old. My mother's side of the family has a long history of severe depression, bipolar issues, and eating disorders. Our family does well financially so they've been able to support me and i have many doctors. I have an eating disorder specialitst, i have a psychologist, and a psychiatrist (sorry for spelling). I'm on many drugs such as prozac, topamax, concerta, and many others. My parents really do try and help me, but i do feel i just need to escape and find myself. That this is a journey i need to take to make myself happy, to heal. I've felt suicidal a couple times, but never tried acting on it and i don't think i ever will, i beleive life is too precious.

      I meet the boy on an Avatar: the Last Airbender (a cartoon i like) chatroom about 8 months ago. We started talking and we developed a freindship. After a while, we both revealed our secrets and our relationship grew stronger and stronger. And then about seven months ago we fell in love after a conversation. We don't really talk over the internet anymore. I talk to him on the phone everynight...and i've talked to his family, i know he's real i've looked him up and so has my mother. He's seventeen and he's a good person. I would probably come home after going to see him.

      It would be a quick thing. Jump in my car, drive to tennesse...stay there for a while, then come back. I don't know how my parents would respond afterwards...i hope that they wont be too hurt and too angry. i hope that they'll understand this was something i needed to do. I don't know what to do about money. It's about 2500 miles...a fuel calculator said i needed 400 dollars in gas money. It's my birthday soon..maybe i can raise enough money...I will have license and insurance yes. And it'll be my car. I'm just so worried about this whole situation. I know it sounds like i'm under control...but i'm not. And i'll consider the phone call if things get really bad, thank you

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hi, help please.

        Hello,

        It is such a joy for us to observe through your writing the need for you to do some soul searching as you continue to look forward to life in all its glory and splendor. It warms our heart to recognize your fairness to your parents and your desire to fulfill your dreams but not to burn all your bridges along the way. We certainly empathize with your situation and hope that we can continue to offer genuine support to you as you venture on your journey to self discovery. We imagine that with your family' s long history of fighting depression, it must be a burden to carry that with you. However, we recognize a lot of strength in you and we hope to test each step you make towards a better understanding of self but also the world around you. From your ability to overcome obstacles, it dared us to say that we are optimistic in your endeavors and since we are mostly concerned with your safety, we felt it necessary to address with you, your need to heal.

        As stated earlier, we are not in the position to tell you what to do but we are invested in your story and want to make sure it plays out to your benefit. It is a great step you made to come away from your experience without the desire for suicidal thoughts and your live is actually looking up when you are able to realize that life is indeed precious. It makes sense when you have something or someone to live for and we realize that you have this in the one you seek. The one you seek must be an interesting person and we are happy for you. If this gives you meaning, we want encourage you to share it with the world. It sounds like you were able to transfer that meaningfulness to your mother, when she took the time to find out how real and exciting this must be for you. Sometimes, life freezes until you take action and we hear you when you say that you are willing to take action and that you are certainly going to come home after you see him. What is your gain and what is your lost if you were to involve you mother more with your plan? What is the possibility of not alienating your parents if you acted solely on your heart but not without a proper plan?

        It is good that your heart is all into the journey and you have proven to use your mind with figuring out the technical aspects of that journey. It is true that your parents are going to have to let you make your own decision eventually and learn to let you fall in order to pick yourself up again. Some parents are more patient than others and it sounds like you care for them. With the journey being over 2500 miles, what is the practical approach to staying safe? What we mean by practical, is the idea of being able to pull off the drive on your own and planning precisely. It is going to require you to have it mapped out and to figure out when, where, and why you need to stop in order to have a successful trip. We imagine to travel that far, alone, without someone as your co-pilot, needs a lot of thinking over. You are going to have to consider if you are driving at night or day, when to pull over, when to take breaks, when to sleep and where to sleep. It is nice to hear that you have your license and insurance and it is your car. We understand that you are worried because it is natural, especially when you have not done this before. We hope to get a call from you even before things get bad because we hope that you get the chance at an easier life. Why wait until it gets bad if you can address it when it is still good? Just a thought. Please take this time to consider what we mentioned and we look forward to hearing from you soon. Good luck.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hi, help please.

          Okay, things just got bad.
          I think i better just call, but will i
          be talking to someone new or
          the same group of people?

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hi, help please.

            Thanks for keeping us here at NRS updated on your situation. Sorry to hear that things are worse. Even so, it is very courageous of you to consider calling us and actually speaking to someone here. Sometimes, somehow things seem to work out better after you actually have had the chance to talk with someone. Unfortunately, we cannot necessarily guarantee that the same exact person who is replying to your post is the same person that you will be speaking with when you call. Despite that though, of course we are the same "group" of people! Let us just inform you that we all are trained in the same manner and that whoever answers your call is able to provide you with the same sufficient services. We hope that you are still considering giving us a call and that ultimately you decide to do so. Remember that we are confidential and 24 hours so you can call at anytime. We look forward to hearing from yuo soon
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hi, help please.

              Well, what i was worried about was that my mom isn't going to let me get my license because i'm doing badly in school. (i usually do very good in school but with the stress of this going on it's kinda hard to concentrate). I'm now thinking about taking a bus...i'll be alot quicker, cheeper, safter, and easier. However, do you think they will catch me on a stop? And i've looked all over the sight to see if they'd even let a sixteen year old purchase a ticket...and the only thing it said was that it was illegal in Illinois. No where else. So i'm assuming i'm okay. I'm going to try and purchase my ticket this friday and leave next friday, April 11th. I looked you guys up...i know what you do here. I'm glad to have you guys on my side and here to support me. Thank you for helping, it's just really nice to have someone to talk to.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hi, help please.

                Whether or not they’d catch you on a bus isn’t something we could say. It would likely depend on if your parents knew where you were going and what bus you were on. Then contacting the police in the city you stop in. There’s really no way to determine what would happen. We also don’t know the laws about purchasing a ticket at 16. You could possibly call the station you want to leave from just to make sure before you get there. Glad to know you’ll keep us in mind if you need anything else. Our number’s free from any payphone!
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment

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