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17 in North Carolina and want to leave home without parents consent

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  • 17 in North Carolina and want to leave home without parents consent

    I am 17 years old and living in North Carolina with my parents. My boyfriend recently moved to New York and his family loves me. They have told me that if I want to, I can stay with them. The only problem is that I am 17 and I know that my parents will not approve of this. If I were to go up there I would be getting a job (I have one right now) and I would only stay with them until I could get my own apartment. Is there any way I could leave home?

  • #2
    Re: 17 in North Carolina and want to leave home without parents consent

    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are here to help the best we can through support and resources.

    So it sounds like you are thinking about going to stay with your boyfriend at his parent’s house. We are glad to hear that you have support from him and his family. We want to let you know that we are not legal experts here, but that running away is not illegal. It is a status offense so typically if you leave your house without permission from your guardians, and they decide to make a runaway report and the police find you, they will just bring you back home. However, if your guardians made a runaway report, anyone that you stay with has a risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Usually, it is up to your guardians to determine whether or not to press these charges, but there is a chance that the police would decide to press charges regardless.

    If you have more legal questions, one option that you have is to call your local nonemergency police department and ask any questions that you have in a hypothetical way. If this is something that you are not entirely comfortable with, you can always call into our 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline at 1 800 RUNAWAY (786 2929) and we can do a conference call so that you have an advocate on the line with you.

    If this is an option you are interested in, or if we can provide you with any resources or if you just want to talk more about your situation you can call into our hotline or we also have chat available through our website at 1800runaway.org, 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST.

    Good luck and stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Comment


    • #3
      If I just walk out of the house to town and then text my mom that I won't be coming back, can I be known as a runaway and then brought back home. I'm 17 and live in North Carolina. I've been told that if you "runaway" the cops can only bring you back three times, but not your fourth. How true so is this?

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. You must be having a difficult time at home if you feel you need to run away. From what you say in your message, it sounds as though you have run away from home before.

        To answer your question, once you have been reported to police as a runaway, they can pick you up and bring you home as many times as necessary. There is no limit to the number of times that can occur.

        If there is a situation at home that is making you unhappy enough to want to run away, NRS can help. Our hotline is open 24/7 and is fully confidential. One of our trained crisis line volunteers can talk with you about your home life and can assist with offering resources that may be able to help you. These resources can include discussing safe places you might go including trusted adults you may know or emergency shelter if necessary. We can also look into other support resources like counseling or assist with discussing options like reporting to Child Services if you felt like you might want to do that. They can also talk through what you might do if you do leave your home, how you will support yourself, how you will stay safe and where you might go. Running away can have consequences including missing school, finding yourself in an unsafe situation and difficulties with hygiene and food. NRS can talk through all of these situations and help you think through what you want to do.

        Our crisis line number is (800) 786-2929. You can also use the chat feature on our website as those are also answered by our trained crisis volunteers. Go to our website at 1800runaway.org to use that feature.
        We can also offer you other hotline numbers specific to domestic violence or mental health and suicide if those might be helpful in your situation.

        Please reach out to us so we can help. You don’t have to tackle this problem alone.

    • #4
      Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. You must be having a difficult time at home if you feel you need to run away. From what you say in your message, it sounds as though you have run away from home before.

      To answer your question, once you have been reported to police as a runaway, they can pick you up and bring you home as many times as necessary. There is no limit to the number of times that can occur.

      If there is a situation at home that is making you unhappy enough to want to run away, NRS can help. Our hotline is open 24/7 and is fully confidential. One of our trained crisis line volunteers can talk with you about your home life and can assist with offering resources that may be able to help you. These resources can include discussing safe places you might go including trusted adults you may know or emergency shelter if necessary. We can also look into other support resources like counseling or assist with discussing options like reporting to Child Services if you felt like you might want to do that. They can also talk through what you might do if you do leave your home, how you will support yourself, how you will stay safe and where you might go. Running away can have consequences including missing school, finding yourself in an unsafe situation and difficulties with hygiene and food. NRS can talk through all of these situations and help you think through what you want to do.
      Our crisis line number is (800) 786-2929. You can also use the chat feature on our website as those are also answered by our trained crisis volunteers. Go to our website at 1800runaway.org to use that feature.
      We can also offer you other hotline numbers specific to domestic violence or mental health and suicide if those might be helpful in your situation.

      Please reach out to us so we can help. You don’t have to tackle this problem alone.

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #5
        i'm 17 and my mother has full custody of me, for a little while i have wanted ti live with my dad, my dad's place is not the best but he is the person I want to live with, I also have a 9 month old son, and I tried to tell my mother she would say "no, it's not the best place with him, you even said you don't want him around that". I also want to get emancipated, I have a job making 7.45 an hour and have no car, I keep acting out against my parents rules because I am ready to be independent, yes my mother helps me with my son and gets me where i need to be but I want to be independent, I am also still a senior in high school, What should I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello There,
          Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit of your story with us. It seems like you are having a difficult time becoming independent and that can be frustrating.
          Emancipation may be good but keep in mind that it can take 6 months to a year and it can be costly. To learn more about emancipation you can call your local court house or you can call us and we can provide you with some legal aid numbers. Another option to consider is waiting until you are 18 to live with your father, because then you would be of legal age to move out. Another option to consider is having a conversation with both your mother and father about how you feel. We know that these conversations can be difficult, at NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your parents and help you have this conversation.
          We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
          NRS

      • #6
        Hi I'm 17 and want to move out without telling my parents they dont let me have any privacy and they treat me badly... they have made it to where I cant do anything and I'm going to live with a mom who I have know for a long time and is willing to take me under her wing.. will i have to come back home if I leave?
        Last edited by ccsmod1; 05-06-2020, 08:33 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds really overwhelming to not be given any kind of privacy - everyone needs some alone space. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

          We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • #7
        My girlfriend has and abusive mother that she wants to get away from and she wants to come live with me but she’s only 17

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your girlfriend is unsafe at home, though it is good that she has someone who cares about her willing to support her. It makes sense that she wants to leave an environment that is clearly not good for her mental health.

          While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is not illegal to run away. Your girlfriend’s parent/guardian could file a runaway report on her but this would NOT mean that she would get arrested or charged with anything. It typically does mean that the police could return her home if they encountered you and that would be that. Some police can be more understanding about what is going on at home. In our experience, police will oftentimes return the youth back to their guardian almost no matter what. Police typically do not actively search for a runaway youth. However, they will go where the parent/guardian directs them if they know where she is staying. Additionally, police can sometimes be more lenient about runaway situations the closer you are to 18. Your girlfriend can attempt to calmly, respectfully, and persistently deny them consent to touch her or take her anywhere, and they may give up on trying to return her home. They also may not, in which case she should comply with what they tell you to do for your safety. If there is a runaway report out, her parents also have the option to try and press charges against whomever is sheltering her for harboring a runaway. This charge can be pretty difficult to pursue and would typically not arise in a situation where people were cooperative with the police if they showed up.

          Another thing to take into account is the current COVID-19 situation. It has made running away a significantly more difficult and dangerous endeavor and it might be something you and your girlfriend want to consider if you are planning to leave. It may be wise to wait until the state of emergency ends and for it to be medically safe to leave quarantine.

          If you want to talk more about what is going on and what options you and your girlfriend might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

          Take care,
          NRS

      • #8
        I am 17, living in NC. I have been staying with my grandparents since March and want to live with them permanently.
        I do not want to return to the environment with my parents, drinking and fighting or their verbal and emotional abuse towards me.
        I have a NC state ID that shows my address as my grandparents. I am safe and happy with my grandparents. Can they make me
        go back there?

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,
          Thank you for reaching out to us and explaining a little bit more about what's been going on.

          We are sorry to hear that your parents are treating you that way. You don't deserve to be hurt in anyway. If you like you could call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can provide you more information on filing an abuse report.
          We are not legal experts but your parents are responsible for you until you turn 18. Generally speaking if your parents are to file a police report the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. However given you are staying with your grandparents are 17 things could be different. It is best to call your local police department and check with them.

          This can be a lot to think about and If you want to talk more about what is going on and what options you and your girlfriend might have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

          Take care,
          NRS

      • #9
        Hi I am 17 years old and there are some things going on at home and I need a way to leave is there a possible chance yall can help I live in North Carolina

        Comment


        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

          While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #10
        Hey is there anyway I can leave my home at 17 because I can’t deal with my parents anymore I try so hard for them and I just can’t seem to do anything right all they want me to do is do Jesus stuff and I told them how I feel about it and they don’t care

        Comment

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