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  • running away in minnesota.

    my mom is just not listening to me or letting me do anything with friends..... i ask her if she could talk to my friends mom about a spring brake trip and the answer is automattically no for no reason. im getting tired of this...and just want to run away.... but what will happen if i get caught? i cant move to my dads house because i just cant stand him hes an alcoholic and drug abuser so i dont want to live there and im to scared to ask friends.....help!!!

  • #2
    Re: running away in minnesota.

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard and we hope that we can be of service to you in this time of need. It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home and we want to commend you for taking the time to see what your options are at this point. It doesn't seem fair to you that your mother is not even willing to try to consider your stay over at friends a possibility, without engaging in a conversation with the other adults involved. It sounds like you are upset because she is not willing to talk to the mother of your friend and we imagine that you are frustrated with waiting for that to happen. What causes your mother to respond so quickly without considering some of what you are asking? What is your relationship with your mother like normally? Do you think it is possible to really sit her down to explain your feelings? Is there someone who can speak to her on your behalf to get her to listen?

    The decision to runaway is one that should be made with a plan and not to hastily. The reason for this is to make sure you find a way to remain safe if you were on the streets but it is not a crime to runaway. Usually, parents are expected to file a runaway report to avoid being charged with neglect and to make sure that if you were found by the cops, for them to return you home. Do you know if this is something your mother would do, if you choose to leave home without permission? If you were to get caught, the police are responsible for returning you home or they can hold you until your mother come for you. In some cases, you can end up in juvenile hall until you face a judge the next day but it is expected in most cases for the police to bring you home.

    It is good that you are considering many options and since you mentioned how you feel about asking friends, one thing to remember is that it is illegal for friends and their families to harbor you. One of the few places you can stay legally is a shelter but shelters are expected to notify your parents after 24-72 hours in order to get consent to stay there. This means that your mother is certainly going to find out where you are staying. Do you have a plan for what you are going to do to survive if you choose to leave home? We are not here to tell you what to do but to lay out all the facts in case you were wondering about how to avoid trouble. If you were to consider staying with friends, do you have a certain friend you wanted to ask? We are here for you as you continue to figure out what is best for you. We are confidential and we never judge you. We want to find resources for you in your area just in case you wanted to create a plan to remain safe. Please take this time to consider your options but if you wanted to vent or simply reach out to someone, we are here 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY to listen. Good luck.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Divorce run

      Hi, to start things off, i live in minnesota and my perents are divorced and both remarried an live in two complete seperate homes. I go back and forth between each home every sunday. The fact is that i live 2 seperate lives and and i only want to live one, i dont love my father at all because he wont let me live the life i want to live at my moms. Ive had argument after arguement with him, ive explained my feeleings several times and he keeps saying no, he says its better that i live here rather than at my moms all the time, but i try to tell him that living with him is destroying my life as a teenager because all i do is hate when im there. I want to run and go to my moms. What would happen?

      Comment


      • #4
        running away in minnesota

        Hi there,
        Thanks again for contacting us here at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are struggling with your relationship with your father, we are sorry to hear that. We cannot guarantee what will happen to you if you run away-this is all assuming you are a minor under the age of 18 because if you are over 18 you can leave under your own free will. The only way you would be able to know for sure what the consequences of running away would be to call the local police and anonymously ask them.

        It sounds like though, if you can talk with your mom about all of this, she may be able to get full custody so that you can go live with her permanently. Again, you can go to a shelter if you really feel you need to leave or possibly friends or family. We can provide you with many resources to help you through this if you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7, or you can reach us on chat from 4:30-7:00 CST every day of the week.
        Again, we are sorry that you have to be dealing with this, it can't be easy going from one place to the other week to week. Have you been able to have at least one thing that is constant from place to place that you can bring back and forth to help? This is something you can think about to try and make things a little easier on yourself.

        Please call us so we can further help you in this tough situation.
        Good luck and stay safe,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi I live in Minnesota and I wanna break from my house I just feel like I'm being a waist of time and space.. I just need to be away from my mom for a awhile. I wanna start working and save up to get my own place...

          Comment


          • #6
            RE:

            Hi there,

            Thank you so much for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). You mentioned wanting to break away from your house to get some time away from your mom. It seems things at home are tense for you. Sometimes space may be a good thing so as long as you have consent from your parent if you are a minor. It seems you feel you want to make more use of your time through working to eventually move out on your own. It's great that you reached out, however, we are not sure what it is that we can help with. If you would like some information on age that you can move out we can help with that, even though we are not legal experts. We can also help explore some options and resources for you. It is often best to contact us through our online chat service or by phone. Our phone lines are open 24/7, free, and confidential. It seems you may need a space to vent about what you are going through. We are here to listen and help explore some options that may benefit your situation.

            We hope to hear from you soon and wish you luck.

            Take care,

            NRS
            Last edited by ccsmod6; 12-20-2015, 12:35 AM.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: running away in minnesota.

              okay so i have been having this problem where my step dad would tuch me. and i got the cops ans stuff involved but all they did was put my aunt inthe house for a little bit thats it i dont know what to do because i want tojust go to my friends house for the night to cool off and i dont know if ill get intruble for that...

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: running away in minnesota.

                Hey –

                Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear that you had to deal with that kind of treatment from your stepdad. No one deserves to have to experience something like that. It is understandable that you want to get away from the situation at least for a night. We are happy you reached out to us and we will try to help you out.

                We are not legal experts but we do know that running away for someone under the age of 18 is only a status offense. That means that you will not get into any legal trouble if you leave home. What could happen if you leave is that your parent or guardian can call the police and file a runaway report, and then work with the police to find you and bring you back home. Your parent or guardian also have the right to file charges against anyone over the age of 18 that is letting you stay with them for ‘harboring a runaway’.

                If you are feeling that you need to get away, but don’t want to risk having the police called to find you, you could talk to your parent to see if they are willing to give you permission to get away for a few days.

                If you need support for what your stepdad did to you, the Rape Abuse Incest National Network at 1-800-656-4673 (RAINN) is a great number for you to call. That number will connect you with a trained staff member who can offer you a range of free resources and help.

                You also have an option to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). With a little more information from you we can try to connect you with resources and provide you with any support you may need. We are a 24/7 confidential hotline, and would love to help you out in any way we can

                We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  my mom is abusing me with her words and physically sometimes. my mom i think is crazy i think i am losing my sane. i don't want to go insane!! i have had a horrible life my whole life my father was abuse to me my mother calls me words that shouldn't be named. she sometimes hits me when something that she doesn't like happens she says she loves me but i am not sure about that anymore. this one time my mom called me a b just for not doing the dishes the way she likes them. another time she slapped me cause she wanted me tom vacuum out her car right after she told me to do something else. she thought i was mad and slammed the door i am not going to lie i was mad but that day was windy and the door slammed shut on me. i was going inside to tell her that the wind slammed it shut but she didn't listen. i want to run away i cant take any more abuse. a couple days ago i thought about killing myself. cause nobody cares except my grandparents and my brother. my brother is the only thing that has kept me going all these years i love him more then there are stars in the sky. my grandparents is where i am going to run away to i just cannot deal with this madness anymore

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod16
                    ccsmod16 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello –

                    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It’s very brave of you to reach out! It sounds like you are having a really difficult time at home. Please know that you do not deserve to be verbally or physically abused…no one does! Fortunately you seem to have a good relationship with your grandparents and your brother. It’s important to have family to count on in tough times. You may want to consider talking to your grandparents about what’s going on at home. If they live close, maybe you could stay with them for a bit (with your parents’ permission), just to give everyone a break. You don’t mention your age but in Minnesota the age of majority (the age when you can leave home without your parents’ permission) is 18. We are not legal experts here at NRS but we can say that running away is not a crime, it’s a status offense meaning that you can’t be arrested for running away but the police could find you and take you home. However, if you mom filed a runaway report the adults you were staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. It’s important to think about where you would go and how you would keep yourself safe.

                    You don’t say if you have talked with anyone about the abuse you’ve experienced but if you want to discuss this you can call Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453). They are not only a child abuse reporting hotline but they are also there to talk about what you’re going through and ask questions about how reporting works. You said you had thought about killing yourself. You shouldn't be afraid to tell other people what you are thinking about doing especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. You can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255), and they can talk with you about your feelings and your experiences. They even have a online chat service if you don’t feel like calling in and talking over the phone. Please know that your life is valuable…especially to you brother and your grandparents! You can also call us to discuss any of this with us at NRS at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24 hours a day/7 days a week, and we are here to listen and help. We want to hear from you soon. Take care of yourself.

                    Best,
                    NRS

                • #10
                  I am also in Mn.

                  I want to leave because I am in a very depressed state. My dad thinks nothing of me, and he verbally abuses me. I don't know what to pack, though, or where to go. I don't want to leave my mom, but my dad completely obliterated any hope of staying.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello there looks like you have you have contacted NRS today through another forum for the same issueNRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.
                    Please see our original response:
                    ​​​​​​​
                    “Hello there, thanks for reaching out.
                     
                    Sorry to hear your dad said that you are a disappointment, that sounds so hurtful. Also that seems so unfair that he hit you for being sick. You should be taken care of when you are sick, rather than being harmed.
                     
                    No abuse is ever okay, and you deserve infinitely better than that. You do have the right to report abuse to child protective services (CPS). If they find that the abuse is highly dangerous, you could be removed from the home. If the abuse is not found to be dangerous, they might give you all other services such as family counseling.
                     
                    If you need help talking to your dad about how you are feeling and how his words/actions are not okay, we do have a conference call service. We can advocate to your needs to your dad on a joint call. Also, we have family counseling resources if you are interested in those services. Please call or chat us for those.
                     
                    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation and help brainstorming options. We are also here if you even just need support. It was brave of you to reach out today, and we encourage you to keep doing so if you ever need.
                     
                    Stay safe,
                     
                    NRS”
                    Last edited by ccsmod7; 04-20-2017, 12:05 AM.

                • #11
                  Can you get in trouble for harboring a runaway 17 almost 18 year old child if he leaves another state and comes to MN to stay with you. He says he being verbally abused and it has become increasingly worse with now some physical roughness.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod5
                    ccsmod5 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi,
                    Thanks for reaching out. We are not legal experts, but if a youth leaves home before they are a legal adult, their family would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to locate them they may return them home. Additionally, any adult that houses them may be charged with harboring a runaway, but this is not a charge that we see often particularly in cases of abuse. However, his legal guardians do have the option of pursuing that charge. You mentioned that there is verbal abuse and “physical roughness.” Anyone has the right to file an abuse report. For more information regarding that process, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. However, there is a possibility that the police may choose not to pursue this young person especially if they are close to being 18. Since we are not legal experts and since police policies vary from state to state, you might consider reaching out to your local non-emergency police line (or the non-emergency police line where the youth is from) and ask hypothetically about how they might handle that situation. If you have further questions, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                • #12
                  Gosh...A few of these exactly named my issues and yeah.. So I am planning a runaway and I don’t know what to do. Me and my mom fight everyday she sometimes hits me and she is labeled mental and all the help she gets she doesn’t change she verbally hurts me til I cry and then makes fun of me and bullies me. Then she harasses me by text and at this point I’m barely even in shelter cause I can’t take it. Sometimes we fight and it gets physical cause I wanna defend myself and make her stop. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t help but cry nearly everyday and my dad has nearly no custody of me. But he’s a better option rn. My mom refuses to let me go to him so I wanna runaway but I cry cause the fact it’d hurt my grandma that I live with she deals with me and my mom and cries over it from the stress. My mom is the main cause of this ******** and the last time cops got involved I nearly got arrested cause she made up lies..please give me advice a number to preferably text anything please.. I need help or need to vent

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod11
                    ccsmod11 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi,

                    Thanks so much for reaching out to us. On our website, (https://www.1800runaway.org/youth-teens/#) you can find the way to chat us. It sounds like you don’t want to talk on the phone, which it totally valid! Talking can be really scary, and our chat is similar to texting so you don’t have to talk. If you change your mind and want to call us, our number is 1-800-786-2929. Both our chats and calls are fully confidential, so anything you say will be kept between you and the liner. However, we are all mandated reporters, so if you wanted to talk about the abuse but did not want to file a report, you would just not want to give out identifying information.

                    You mentioned abuse. Abuse is never okay, you do not deserve to get hit or verbally abuse. If you are interested in filing an abuse report, that is something we could look into for you. We could walk you through the process, reach out to agency with you, or get the information from you and file it ourselves. If you don’t want to file an abuse report, that is also totally understandable. We want to make sure we do what you feel comfortable with.

                    Another option could be looking into counseling or other people in your area to talk to. Having a strong support system can be really helpful, especially when you are dealing with so much stress. This is a really frustrating situation, and that can be really hard to deal with. Reaching out to friends or school counselors can be helpful, but we could also look into resources in your area for people to talk to and help build a support system.

                    This is a really hard situation, and you took a really good step by reaching out to us.

                    Please feel free to contact us anytime, we are here to listen and to help.
                    NRS

                • #13
                  Hey guys,

                  My friend is in a house hold at the moment, and her mom is very manipulative, to the point where she even got CPS on her side, keeping the kid. I know this is illegal, but I'm trying to help in any way I can. She's called police, showed scars her mom has done, and they barely even care. I don't know how else to say this. What should I do?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod5
                    ccsmod5 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hey there,
                    Thank you so much for reaching out. it sounds like your friend is in a very scary situation. No one ever deserves to be abused and thank you so much for trying to advocate for your friend. One resource that might be helpful is the National Child Abuse Hotline, as they have expertise in the “ins and outs” of abuse reporting. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. If you have further questions or want to talk more specifically about your situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929.
                    NRS

                • #14
                  Hey, same person from the other post here

                  A little update, CPS came over (an hour late), and started asking all of these questions. When she told CPS about everything that happened, they showed no sympathy and said "Yeah, thats understandable." They showed no sign of help, and still on the Mom's side, which even me, a very young person, knows. Please, I need help, and I have no idea to do. Not even the police will help.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod3
                    ccsmod3 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there,

                    Thanks again for reaching out. Thank you for continuing to advocate for your friend. It sounds like they are in a situation where they feel like no one will listen to them.
                    We are not sure if you contacted the National Child Abuse Hotline that was suggested before, but filling an official child abuse report would be an important step for your friend advocating for herself. If she’s being abused, often times it is her word against her abuser’s (in this case, her mom). But if she files an abuse report and still has scars or other marks, she can point to that abuse report and scars as evidence for her viewpoint. The abuse report is best filed by your friend herself, by calling the Child Help number (1-800-422-4453) or by calling us. You can also file one on her behalf by getting as much detail as possible and then calling either number. You might consider doing this especially if your friend is unable to call.

                    There are other options to consider. This doesn’t work for everyone, but sometimes when other options aren’t available, young people can use avoidance strategies to avoid conflict with an abusive parent or guardian. For instance, staying with friends or relatives with parents’ permission or avoiding the abusive person during times where conflict is more likely. If your friend is unsafe, this may not be a good long-term strategy but it could be crucial for their safety until a more permanent solution is found.

                    Your friend is likely experiencing mental health effects from the trauma of abuse. She may want to contact SAMHSA for mental health support at 1-877-726-4727. This is another short-term strategy to be safe and healthy until a long-term solution is found. Your friend should be aware that mental health professionals are mandatory reporters, which means they will be forced to report abuse if your friend tells them about it.

                    And of course, if your friend is considering running away, please contact us and we can help assist with safety planning. Again, thanks for reaching out on behalf of your friend and please feel free to contact us anytime, day or night.

                    -NRS

                • #15
                  couple of years ago my aunt and uncle got full custody of me. However, we don't get along and we can't trust each other with anything. I happen to get the blame for whenever she's mad or she'll call my parents worthless and tell me to quit playing the victim all the time. I am the age of 14 almost fifteen by this winter and I have been thinking about running away alot but just don't want to get in trouble if i get caught. The only thing is she wouldn't know where i was because she doesn't know all the people i do. Am i able to leave?

                  Comment

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