17 and need to get out

[Unregistered]

I am 17 years old and will be 18 in three months. I will graduate high school in about a month. I live in NY with my mother. My mom constantly yells and screams at me and she is always blaming everything as my fault. My father sexually abused me when I was 9 and I came out and told my therapist about it when I was 14. My mom even blames what happened as all my fault. I've been suicidal since I was 12 and I've been on medication for it since then. Last year, I stopped my medication because it wasn't helping when I was living with my mom. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a month where they started new medication and gave me a new therapist. My suicidal thoughts have declined since I started dating my boyfriend because I'm always at his house and try to be home as little as possible. But whenever I come home they all come back to me. My mom doesn't even feed me and she smokes around me constantly even though my doctor told her not to because of my asthma. I also have a job so I am able to buy my own food. My boyfriend's parents offered me to move in with them but my mom would never let me move out. Is there anyway I can legally move out now? Is she able to call the cops and have me come home? I know in New York there is no way to get emancipation but I'm sure if I talked to someone they could help me get out but I feel by the time that all happened I would be 18 and it wouldn't be worth it. I need to get out of here now and need to know if I am legally able to do so.

[ccsmod10]

RE; 17 and need to get out

Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you've been handling a lot on your own and this is a great step. No one deserves abuse and it is not your fault.
Have you continued going to therapy or been able to talk to anyone about what's going on?

It's wonderful that your boyfriend and his family have been so supportive through all of this. We're sorry to hear your mother won't let you stay with them. Is there anyone else your mother might let you stay with in the meantime?

We're not legal experts and the age of majority is different in everywhere, but once you are 18 you are legally an adult in every state. Until that point your mom might be able to file a runaway report. Although it's not a criminal offense, it would mean the police could return you home.


If you need someone time talk to, we're here on the phones 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We're also on chat from 4:30 - 11:30pm CT every day. Either way, we're here to work things out with you and discuss potential resources and options.

- NRS

[Unregistered]

17 and need to get out

Thank you so much for replying. I try to go to therapy still but my mom refuses to ever take me there because "she has better things to do." I talk to my boyfriend about it but I feel bad that he always has to hear about it.
My mom won't let me stay anywhere, she says I have to wait until the day I turn 18 to move out, I can't even move out a week before. My brother is 22 and said I could move in with him once he gets an apartment, but he lives with my dad currently and said that three years ago. I'm not even sure what to do anymore, I just can't stand being around her.

[ccsmod15]

Re: 17 and need to get out

We're sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time and that you are unable to get to counseling. We are not professional counselors but we are here to listen. Please do not hesitate to give us a call if you need someone to talk to.

We're here on the phones 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and can be reached at 1800-786-2929. In addition to having someone to talk to, we can provide you with additional resources for housing options.

- NRS