Running away to a friends house

[Guest]

12 and thinking of running

I'm 12 and my parents are always asking me to be more like my brother and it's annoying would running away and leaving a note saying id be gone for a short time and then coming back, be ok?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your parents have been comparing you to your brother. That is not fair to you as you are your own individual. We can talk about a few things and if you want to talk further we are here for you 24/7 over the phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY or on our online chat system at 1800runaway.org

It sounds like you have been having a hard time at home with your parent’s and your brother. We are here for you if you want to talk further because it must be frustrating to be compared to your brother and not fair to you. If you have not already, you may want to think about talking to your parents about what they say and how it makes you feel. You can think about doing this if you think it may help and you do not have to do that alone. You can think about having a friend/relative/trusted teacher to help you talk to your parents and bring in an outside perspective to what they have been saying. We are also here to advocate you if you want to call us and we can talk to you about talking to your parents or conference calling with your parents. This would mean reach out to us and we can call out to your parents with you on the line and facilitate a call that will try to bring compromise and understanding to both sides.

If you do feel like you need to leave home, we are always here to talk about staying safe. Do not hesitate to reach out to us if you feel comfortable and we can talk further about what we mentioned or brainstorm other ideas.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

Hey I’m 17 in Missouri I can’t live in this house anymore or something will happen what consequences are there if I go to a friends house or just run away like legal consequences

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that you have much to think about not to mention you must be going through a stressful. We appreciate you taking the time to stop by and ask for help. Our hope is that we would provide you with tips and resources to help you make a more informed decision in your situation.
Though we are not legal experts, from what we can gather from your story it seems like home is really hard for you right now. As far as being 17 if you were to run away because you are 17 you are still considered a minor so that would give your parents/guardians the right to file a runaway report to the police. From there if your guardians or police knew where you were they would be able to take you back home. As far as the person housing you they would possibly be charged with Harboring a Minor. The further consequences depend on every state and their own laws. If you were in need of assistance as far as shelters, transitional living programs etc. We here at NRS can help give you more specific information about the options you have.
Again we want to commend your bravery for contacting us we know it takes a lot to seek out help. If for any reason you would have more questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us either by phone at (1-800-786-2929) or online through the chat option at (www.1800runaway.org).
Best Wishes-NRS

[Guest]

I am 17 turning 18 in two months is it okay to runaway to a friends home to stay and it’s because of issues at home even tho If u tell me I’m gunna be 18 just wait isn’t the case bc my parents won’t let me leave anf they don’t believe that crap but I wanna leave Bc I’m getting more depressed when I come home from school and I’m eant to pay attention in school and work hard but my mom is already causing so much stress and I can’t deal with her bs I want to know if I will get introuble if I left

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a very stressful situation. We are here to offer whatever support we can. Although we are not legal experts in most states, 18 is when you are no longer considered a minor and can leave home without parental consent. If you chose to leave sooner, some things to consider might be how safe you feel living with your friend? How long will they allow you to stay? How will you provide for yourself? In addition, your parents do have the option of filing a runaway report. However, considering your age and how close you are to being 18 it is a possibility that the police in your state may not take the runaway report. However, if they do and you are found before your 18th birthday the police will require you to return home. You might want to consider contacting the police non-emergency line in your state to ask any other legal related questions. Hope this was helpful. If you need any more assistance please contact feel free to contact us via call, chat, or email. Thanks again, best of luck.

[Guest]

i live in florida. i hate my mom. she hates me, so what. i am thinking about running away( my friend is about a mile and a half away) and all would have would be a BB gun, a 3 inch pocket knife, warm clothe and summer clothes, plus my school clothes. we go to the same school and carpool

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you and your mom are having a really hard time getting along and you are planning on running away. That seems like a really stressful situation. Here at NRS, we truly want to inform you and support you as best we can.

It sounds like you have a plan and are thinking about what to bring. One thing to consider, is that if you leave home before 18 your mom can file you as a runaway with your local police. If she does contact police she can give them information for where you might be at and for the school that you attend. Generally, if you were to go to school as a runaway, police could possibly come to your school and return you home. It is also possible that police would reach out to the people you carpool with to see if they know where you are. While running away is not illegal, the person who could get into legal trouble is the legal adult who houses you knowing that you are a runaway. You mentioned taking a BB gun and a pocket knife, another thing to think about is how weapons like that can actually increase the likelihood of you being hurt. Here at NRS, we are primarily concerned about your safety and urge you to always be planning around your safety. It sounds like you have been thinking about what you need to do/pack to leave, other things to think about are how you are going to support yourself with things such as finances, food, and medical care.

If you haven't already, you might think about any other options you might have. One option could be asking your mom permission to live with a family member, or having a family member talk to your mom for you about moving in with them. Another option might be working on the problems you are having at home with your mom with informal or professional help. If you ever want individual or family counseling resources that might be able to help, please do not hesitate to call or chat us. Here at NRS, we also have a conference call service if you would like to have a mediated, productive conversation with your mom about how you are feeling and what your needs are. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY for that services.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation. We are here to listen, here to help.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 17 and I'm not happy at home becuase of my parents are so strict and they don't understand me at all and I'm thinking of running away I'm not happy At home. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable living with my parents

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today, sounds like you are feeling pretty unhappy at home and you are wanting to leave home at 17. In one of your posts you also mention that you have been self-harming due to your home life. It's clear that this has really taken a toll on you and it was brave of you to reach out today. Here at NRS, we truly want to inform you and support you as best we can.

If you are ever feeling like you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself please call 911. If you would ever like to talk through how you are feeling in a crisis situation please do not hesitate to reach out out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-8255. If you haven't already, you might also consider talking to a professional in a talk therapy session. If you are interested in local counseling resources please do not hesitate to call or chat us as well.

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, sometimes local police have lesser protocols for 17 year olds since they are close to 18. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck

-NRS

[Guest]

I'm 17 and not happy home every-day I come home depressed I'm starting to feel uncomfortable living with my parents and self-harming myself becuase my parents don't understand me and I'm thinking of running away and there any place I can go if I'm not happy home ?

[ccsmod7]

Please see our response to your similar post:

"
Hello there, thanks for reaching out today, sounds like you are feeling pretty unhappy at home and you are wanting to leave home at 17. In one of your posts you also mention that you have been self-harming due to your home life. It's clear that this has really taken a toll on you and it was brave of you to reach out today. Here at NRS, we truly want to inform you and support you as best we can.

If you are ever feeling like you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself please call 911. If you would ever like to talk through how you are feeling in a crisis situation please do not hesitate to reach out out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-8255. If you haven't already, you might also consider talking to a professional in a talk therapy session. If you are interested in local counseling resources please do not hesitate to call or chat us as well.

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, sometimes local police have lesser protocols for 17 year olds since they are close to 18. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck

-NRS"

[Guest]

I'm 10 years old and I want to runaway.
I want to run away, I live in MD. My parents always love and treat my sister more than me. I always try to make them proud but my mom always blames me for everything. My sister is always finding a way to make me feel bad. For my birthdays I don't even get anything, as for my sister, she gets 10 things at once. I've been having suicide thoughts lately, I tried to commit suicide but I was always spot by my parents. Every single day I always have deppression, sadness, and anger flowing inside of me. All of the happy moments I spent with my family has been gone. Ever since my grandma passed away, my parents always love my sister more. I want to run away to my best friend's house. But I'm worried that her parents might call my parents to ask for questions. Please help me, I have nowhere else to go.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. That seems hurtful that your parents treat your sister differently and only give her presents on her birthday, and you do not get any on yours. Here at NRS, we want you to know that you are just as important as your sister, and you are no lesser than anyone else. Sounds like you have been feeling really down lately and have had suicidal thoughts. Those feelings are significant, and nothing is more important than your safety.

If you ever feel like you are in immediate danger, please call 911. They would take you to the hospital for mental health treatment. You so deserve to make it through this, and while it might not feel like it currently, there are people and resources out there who truly want to be there for you. You might also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline through calling them at 1-800-273-8255 or chatting them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You might also see if your parents would enroll you in counseling so you can talk to a professional about how you have been feeling. If you need any local counseling resources please do not hesitate to call or chat us for those. Sometimes talk therapy and processing those emotions you are feeling can really help. If you want help talking to your parents about how you are feeling, sometimes family counseling is helpful as well. We also have a conference call service, so if you ever want to have a mediated conversation with your parents about how you are feeling please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

You mentioned wanting to run to your best friend's, but being worried they would call your parents. That is a possibility, and your parents could also report you as a runaway with your local police. If you are found while listed as a runaway, you generally would be returned home. Here at NRS, we have a database of runaway and homeless youth shelters, so please call or chat us if you ever want us to look for safe places for you to go to. It can be pretty unsafe out there for unaccompanied 10 year olds, and again - nothing is more important than your safety.

We so look forward to hearing from you and wish you best,

NRS

[Guest]

Im 15 and I live in Florida.
My life has been pretty stressful for the past two months since my sister was diagnosed with MS. I understand that it would be a lot harder now that we have to care for her every movement, but it shouldn’t be that stressful on me. For years I have suffered with anxiety and depression, more so that I had even tried to commit suicide when I was 11. I told my mother about this (I wanted to go back to a psychiatrist and she asked me why) and she took interest in it. But since then, she has been quite negligent towards my and my sister’s mental health. Last night my sister said she wanted to kill herself, and when I asked my mother what she would do about it, she said she didn’t have to and wouldn’t have to do anything. Also, about a month and a half ago, I did something bad and my father threatened to kick me out of the house. It happened again, and this time rather than kick me out, he threatened to pull me put of school. Both my parents constantly yell at me, call me names, and blame me for my mental health issues. I was hoping that my dad would kick me out so that I wouldn’t have to stay in this house anymore. I have a friend and a boyfriend who have both offered to let me stay with them if my parents did kick me out. I would run away but I fear what my parents would do to whoever it was that harbored me or what they would do to ME if/when I return. I am entirely unsure what to do... thank you

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS via our online forum service. It sounds like you’re in a really tough place at home with the stress of caring for your sister and the things that your parents say to you. You deserve to feel listened to and cared for.
You mentioned that you and your sister are struggling with your mental health, and your parents have been negligent about it. It could be helpful to reach out to an organization called SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration) for mental health resources in your area. They can be reached at 1 (877) 726-4727. Another helpful resource is Child Help, The National Child Abuse Hotline, if you feel you might want to consider reporting your parent’s negligence. They can talk through that option with you at 1 (800) 422-4453. Reaching out for help can be hard but is a very brave thing to do. You made a great first step by reaching out to us today. If you or your sister ever have thoughts of harming yourself and do not feel supported by your family, you can also reach out to National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255 or call 911 if you feel like you are in immediate danger.
You also mentioned that you sometimes consider running away. It sounds like you’ve considered what may happen if you do, like that if you stay with someone they may be charged with harboring a runaway. Since you are 15, if you do run away and your parents file a runaway report, the police would be obligated to return you home if they do locate you as well.
You deserve to feel loved and supported by the people around you. You can try to reach out to friends or a trusted adult at school about what has been going at home. Feeling heard is important and can make a world of a difference. At NRS, we would be happy to offer a listening ear as well. You can reach us at 1 (800) RUN-AWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7 and are completely confidential. Your life has infinite meaning and value, even if others can sometimes make you feel otherwise. Stay strong!

[Guest]

Hi,
im 15 and I don't like where I live and I want to run away and go stay with a friend for a while, but I'll still go to school and stuff. Is there any legal issue with that?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we know that it takes courage to reach out and we are glad you took the first steps into reaching out. It sounds like you are going through a tough situation, and we want you to know that you are not alone. In most states the legal age for one to leave home without permission is 18. Because you are 15 you could be considered as a runaway if you were to leave home before turning 15. We are not legal experts, but running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense. What that means is if your parents or legal guardian were to file a runaway report, the police would most likely bring you back home. You could consider asking for permission to stay at a friends for a while to avoid any legal trouble. We hope this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to discuss your situation in further detail feel free to give us a call at any time, we are available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Im 14 years old and im struggling with the relationship in my house overall, a day ago my dad told me to open the door from my room(in a rude way) i didnt because i was on a videocall on with my friend. So i ended it like a minute later, i opened my door and went to the bathroom, he started banging on the bathroom door, he opened it n i saw the whip in his hands and he hit me with it 4 times n left, i didnt scream or anything cuz im used to it i jus silently cried, my younger brother,12, had the nerve to ask me "are you okay?"in his stupid little voice. I said shut the ******** up and my dad heard me, which tbh didnt care at that point, he took me to my room and hit me 2 more times. I cried myself to sleep, it hurts when i sit down, theres bruising and red marks over my legs, im sick n tired. Ive been cuttin myself since 6th grade. My best friend suggested i move in with her, she doesnt wanna see me suffering anymore, im beginning to take that into consideration. My older step brother went thru the same abuse and hes still struggling in life. My mom agrees wit my dad n she sometimes hits me too but its more painful when my dad does it. I hate myself so much, i want to die but i dont wanna kill myself, i want to run away n live wit my friend. Is there any issue with that??

[ccsmod15]

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re experiencing a really tough situation at home. You really do not deserve to be treated this way… no one does. You really deserve to feel safe and loved in your own home, and you are very brave to contact us for advice. You talk about serious physical abuse by your parents. If you want to report this abuse, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we can assist you. You can also call Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) at 1-800-422-4453. If making these calls isn’t possible, you could talk with a teacher or school counselor. They’re mandated reporters and could help you make a report as well. If you feel unsafe at any time, you can call 911 and report this to the police.
You also talk about cutting yourself. This often happens in times of extreme stress. While you say suicide is, fortunately, not something you’re considering, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can help with self-injury issues. Their number is 1-800-273-8255.
It’s good to hear that you have a friend you can talk to. You may want to try spending as much time as possible at their home to give you some separation from your dad. Maybe spending more time with your older step brother could also be helpful.
You ask about running away. The age of majority in most states is 18; that’s when you can legally move out of your parents’ home without their permission. Since you’re 14, if you leave home, your parents could file a runaway report. While running away is not a crime (it’s a status offense), the police could come find you and take you home. You wouldn’t be arrested but your friend’s parents could be charged with harboring a runaway if they didn’t let you talk to the police or go home to your parents.
Hopefully you can give us a call, and we can talk about your situation and options. We’re here 24 hours a day/7 days a week, and we’re here to help. We hope to hear from you soon.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 16 years old and feel like I don't belong at home anymore all my life I felt like every little thing I do is wrong I always got in trouble for little things I get hit here and there last time was this morning. I feel like a bad person and a disappointment I recently got everything taken away from me and my parents are making move to Lacrosse, WI I currently live In MN I have friends, family, and a boyfriend here I don't want to leave. I want to run away to my boyfriends but feel like it will make things worse.

[ccsmod4]

Reply:I'm 16 years old and feel like I don't belong....

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Sounds like you are going through a tough time and moving from your home state just makes things more complicated.
Starting anew can seem difficult.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. Sometimes talking things out can be helpful with exploring some options that might make the transition smoother. If you would like to speak more about your situation we are here to listen and here to help.

We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Hello. I'm twelve years old, and feel as if I am the victim of emotional abuse. My father was abused as a child, and went to war eight times. He has a pattern of trashing my room if it is not Spick and span. My father yells at me regularly, and has asked me (or rather, demanded and answer when he yelled at me) if I wanted to live with my grandparents in Seattle. I have told all of this to my best friend, and she has offered to let me come live with her. She even gave me her address today. My only fears about running away is (I go to a private school with a tuition of 5,000) I won't be allowed to attend my school anymore. I am also scared that my parents will come to my school and take me back home. My other concern is my father is friends with numerous police officers, and I'm scared he's gonna find me. Please please please help me. I do not feel safe in my household.

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your dad is treating you in a way that seems excessive and hurtful. It isn’t okay for your dad to act like that towards you and it might be a good idea to talk to an adult about what is going on and how you are feeling. That could look like your other parent/legal guardian if you have one, another family member, or a trusted teacher or counselor at school.

We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring.

If you would like to talk in more detail about your situation we would be happy to discuss what other options you may have if you call into our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello. I need help


i live in Overland Park, Kansas and I want to run away. I am pansexual and my parents are extremely against that,. They have expressed their hate for lgbtq+ and told me if I ever was that I wouldn’t like what would happen. My whole family is against it and I have heard my brother bully someone who might have been part of lgbtq+. I am 12 and I would be running away to my best friends house (I already have approval from parents and them). I wondered what the law would be. I don’t want to get arrested, make my parents pay a fine, and be forced to live with them.

i need help.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. Its incredibly difficult that your family isn’t accepting of your identity and not providing much support. It sounds like you to have permission to go to your friends house. That is mainly what you need to go live somewhere else. It could be a good idea to think about using proper paperwork to transfer guardianship to help you enroll in school/get healthcare/proper care in the future. If you would want to talk through your experience, the LGBT National Hotline could be a resource to reach out to at 1-888-843-4564.

We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.

We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

-NRS