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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

    We're sorry to hear that your household is toxic and causing you to consider leaving. That must be pretty tough. That said, running away is a big decision, and it's a good idea to spend some time thinking through a plan before committing to it. Consider where you'll go, how you'll get there, and what you'll do to survive once you're there. It sounds like you've given some thought to the *where* element, and it's great that you have someone you trust that you can stay with. However, it's definitely wise that you're trying to be aware of any issues that could arise in staying with him (or anyone else for that matter).

    Most states have laws around the harboring of a runaway, which essentially means that anyone who allows you to stay with them without proper notification to your parents/legal guardians or a welfare agency (like Child Protective Services) could be considered to be taking part in a crime. If your friend is under the age of 18 and you'd be staying with his family, this is something that would affect his parents. If he is 18 or older and you'd be staying with him and/or other adult roommates, that risk would fall onto the individuals who are 18 and older.

    The best way to avoid getting anyone into trouble in this regard is to have your parent's consent in staying there. Obviously we know that this can be a challenging conversation for some, but it can be a good way to ensure that everyone's wellbeing is preserved. If this isn't on the table, it's a good idea to research what the exact laws are in your state, and then have a conversation with the people you'd be staying with ahead of time to make sure they're aware of the risks. They might be willing to let you stay with them despite. Other options to consider when running away at your age are homeless shelters, transitional living programs, and/or filing a report with CPS if any abuse is happening in the home. If college is on the table, you can also consider staying on campus and developing a well thought out plan in the meantime.

    If you'd like to talk in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I am 17 years old and i've been considering running away. My household is quite toxic and I don't want to be surrounded in the environment no more. My friend has told me multiple times that I could stay at his house, but the thing is that I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
    What can I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to NRS through our online forum posts-it takes a lot of courage to do so especially when some difficulty arises at home. First and foremost, privacy and a space to get away from the rest of your family within your own home is definitely key to alleviating some stress and being able to relax. Additionally, you most definitely do not deserve to be verbally abused and especially by your own mother-you should be able to feel safe in your own home and communicate openly with your family. Since you are experiencing some difficulties in getting along with your family as well as having some healthy boundaries at home, it is definitely understandable that you have already reached out to your friend for help. However, something to keep in mind is that the age of majority in Colorado is 18 years of age, meaning that you are not considered your own legal guardian until you are that age. So, in the case that your mother decides to file what is called a runaway report with your local police, it is possible that you would be brought back home to your mother i.e. your legal guardian. This is the extent of what if the local authorities could do if they were to locate you. If you as well as your friend comply with the police if they were to find you at your friend’s, neither of you would suffer any criminal charges. One thing to consider doing as well is to let a trusted family member or friend who lives outside of your house know of what is going on at home as well as your plan to stay with your friend just as a safety precaution. A helpful service that we offer is the chance to have a conference call between you and you mother, which allows you two to discuss openly with each other how you feel about what is going on as well as each others’ expectations. The entire conversation would be mediated by someone who works with NRS. If you should have any further questions about anything mentioned above or would like to discuss further your situation, please do not hesitate to reach out to NRS directly at 1(800)-RUNAWAY or 1(800) 786-2929. We are here to listen and help to the best of our ability 24/7.

  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
    It seems like you are going through a tough time with your grandma and are under some harsh restrictions right now. It sounds like you are really frustrated by the limits your grandma has placed and after staying up a fairly short time past what she considers OK she came down with a harsh punishment you don’t agree with. She certainly doesn’t have a right to dictate who you consider your friends to be.
    We aren’t legal experts but generally leaving home without your permission to stay with your friends would be a status offence and you can be labelled as a runaway. A status offence means that you wouldn’t be arrested or put in jail/juvenile detention, but that police can still bring you back home. Your friends’ mom might also end up at risk of harboring a runaway charge which is a criminal offence and comes with fines or jail time potentially. If you want to explore the option more it might make sense to talk with your local police department, or an officer at school if it has one.
    Running away might not be your only option to manage the situation, we are here to talk about the situation more with you if you would like. Sometimes having somewhere safe to talk and explore options can help to see options you didn’t see before. If you would like that you can contact us 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 or www.1800runway.org.
    We hope to hear from you again soon,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am a 16 year old girl I live in Colorado I can't stay at my house anymore I don't get along with my siblings and I have no space or privacy of any kind and I don't get along with my mother at all we always fight I feel verbally abused sometimes I have a friend I can stay with he is 35 he has kids of his own but I don't want him to get in trouble for him helping me out with the things I need I used to babysit his children that's how I know him if I stay in his spare bedroom is he likely to go to jail for letting me live at his house? I just don't want problems for him he is a very good guy and takes care of his kids can you give me advice what do I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My grandma said I can never see or talk to my best friend ever again. I am secretly emailing her but she can can barely email me back because she is not in virtual school. My grandma said that because I stayed up 5 minutes past my bedtime because my friend was texting me her address so I could send her a birthday card. And then I got in trouble and told me grandma that she can't keep best friends away from each other. The she said that I can't tell her what she can't do. So I want to runaway to run away to my friends house but she lives 45 minutes away so I will just tell her to drive here at night and pick me up. Also I am 12 years old and her mom is really nice because she is like a mom to me because me and my friend have known each other almost our whole lives. So is it illegal in Alabama.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing what’s been going on at home. It sounds like its been pretty overwhelming, with both your mom and your sister. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    It seems like your describing emotional and verbal abuse from your mom. Please remember that you do not deserve to be spoken to this way at all. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
    If you’re planning to runaway to your friend’s house, you should know that running away is not a crime. You wouldn’t be arrested or anything like that, but the people housing you could be charged with harboring a runaway. It might not be all that likely but it’s a possibility. You could consider arranging a visit to your friend’s house with parental permission if you think that’s doable.
    We hope this helps, please reach out if we can offer any further support.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m 14 and living in *****.. I don’t want to stay at my home, my sister is suicidal and all my parents do is yell and scream im scared I tend to flinch at everything now, my mom screams she wants to die and blames us, I hate life I just want to run away to my friends house she lives three hours away from me. I don’t want to get her into any trouble or her family’s. I’m seriously scared to stay at home the screaming yelling hitting cutting slapping is getting to much for me that I start having panic attacks at home and school. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. I just want to be happy even if that means running away and getting away with it for a week. Please I can’t do this anymore.
    Last edited by ccsmod5; 02-17-2021, 06:13 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We recognize the courage it took to reach out for help and support. It sounds like you and your sister are in a very challenging situation, and you and your sister don't deserve to ever be treated in an abusive manner.

    If you choose leave without your parents' permission, they may file a runaway report. It is not illegal to leave; it's considered a status offense, and if you're found by the police, they may bring you back to your parents. Typically, states have "harboring runaway" laws, which does not allow for people to knowingly shelter minors without parental consent. However, Washington D.C. does not consider this a crime unless you have been placed there by the Board of Public Welfare.

    Running away is a big decision, and we can help you consider other factors that might influence your decision. If you'd like explore this and identify any other options available, please feel free to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-292) or via instant chat at 1800runaway.org. We're here 24/7 and ready to listen and to help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I am 12 years old and I want to runaway to my best friends house for a while. My parents verbally and physically abuse me and my sister who is 14. I want to go to my friends house who lives close but we are worried that they might get in trouble for "smuggling" a runaway. I live in Washington, DC. Please help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for contacting NRS,
    We appreciate you reaching out to us. We are sorry that home was not a place where you felt comfortable. It must feel really hurtful to know that. You mentioned that you ran away to a friend's house and have since been there. Some things we want to review with you are the basic runaway laws. If you are under the age of 18 you techincally are still considered a minor in the eyes of the law. So if you did runaway your parents would have the right to file you as a runaway. Once that happens the police would be looking for you. Anyone who houses you has the potential to be charged with harboring a runaway. Penalties for that can be different in any state.

    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi,
    I was wondering, being the age of 17 in Tennessee, If i left to a friends house (without the permission of my parents) would i be considered a runaway? Would the family get in trouble even though I was the one who want to get out of the house and pretty much forced myself into their home because i had left with nowhere else to go? I'm a little worried because this event already took place, but i don't want the family into trouble.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    First of all, thank you so much for reaching out today. Asking for help can take a lot of courage. It sounds really difficult to hear your mom saying things that break you and don’t feel so good.

    In terms of running away, it is legal for a youth to do so. However, if your mom decides to, she can file a runaway report and the police may go looking for you. If they do find you, the police will most likely try to bring you back home.

    You mention that you love your mom a lot. One option we have at NRS is a conference call. To use that service, you would call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, tell the liner your situation and the liner would help mediate a conversation between you and your mom. This may help you to have a productive conversation with your mom and tell her how you feel. It is completely up to you to decide to use this service.

    Lastly, you are welcome to contact us through pressing the “chat” button at 1800runaway.com or call at 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime. We are available 24/7 and would be happy to talk through your situation more in depth and offer resources. Please do not hesitate to reach out.

    Best of luck and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Help


    I want to run away to my friends house, I love my mom so much but when she gets mad she says some words that break me. I have been thinking about this for awhile now, she lives close to me. But I just turned 12 so I don't want to cause any bad things. What do I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS
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