Running away to a friends house

[Guest]

I am 16 my parents are vary mean and are abusive and my friends mom knows and she is willing to let me live there I live in Colorado I don't Know what the laws are regardeding this some one let me know what I should do.

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, thank you so much for reaching out! We are here to help. It sounds like you have really thought this through and are certainly going through a lot. We are so sorry to hear you are being abused. You do not deserve to be abused in any way.
You always have the right to file an abuse report for child protective services. Child Help is the national child abuse hotline and they can provide a lot more information on that too: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org. If you want to call us here, we can also help you make that report. However, we never ask for your name unless you want to make a report like that, so you always have the option to call and talk to us without telling us your name. It is always up to you!
The legal age you can move away from your parents in CO is 18 so if you leave before that age, you would be considered a runaway. When thinking about running away at such a young age, there is a lot to consider. We are glad you reached out to us first. Just so you know, if you leave without your parents’ permission, they can file a runaway report with police. It is not a crime for you to runaway, but usually, if police come into contact with a runaway, they try to return the youth back home and provide services to help prevent it from happening again. However, if you tell them you are being abused, they will get child protective services involved who will open a case to measure if home is safe for you to be there or not and what a better alternative could be. But, something to know is that any adult that lets you stay with them could get in trouble from the crime of harboring a runaway. So it isn’t a crime for you, but for adults who help you, it could be, so it is something to consider if you are thinking of staying with a friend and their mom.
We are here 24/7 by phone and daily on our website via live chat: 1-800-RUNAWAY, 1800runaway.org if you want to talk more about your situation and brainstorm some more options.
Best of luck and remember, you do not deserve this abuse!

[Guest]

Im 16, i live in north carolina, i have a few questions for you guys. I move with my dad a few years back in..... 2012ish, he was very chill, fun, and productive for my life. now hes change dramatically to this mental abusive, disrespectful as% hole who can never speak for himself ( hes being peer presured by his so called ¨sister¨ but she is just my freinds mom). I lost his trust, respect, and hospitality because went through my phone and my room. My dad and his freind treat my twin sister like a queen, but they always have to find something to punish me for. They are always in my personal life, making crazy accuzations of me, like CRAZY accuzations, for example i smoked my first joint in early august, ( i vowed to my self to never do it again) so my dads girlfreinds son goes in my room, rambles through my stuff, he gets caught in my room by his mom and gets in trouble, so he said that i told him to take the joint down stairs. I get picked up from school and get confrunted, i explaind it was a one time thing, but to this day ( its late november) him and his freind still thinks i sell and distribute weed. He had some issues with his phone a couple of months ago, i put my gmail on his phone to activate it but our photos merged together, he went through my phone an found some old pictures of is girlfreinds groin that i completly forgot was in the phone. (the more you scroll the older the photo) the photos was near the bottom. I had a rough life living with my mom back in 2011 and he keeps thretening me that hes going to kick me out, or hes going to make me go live with mom ( is this mental domestic violence). He does not make time for me anymore. Its more things but i just want to know
1. can i live with my mom again
2. can i live with my older sister
3. can i live with my freind
4. can i run away
He also says all the time that he does not give a ******** if i leave or go with my mom.

[ccsmod7]

Thanks for contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot at home and really wish you had the closer relationship with your dad that you once did. You write that you have lost your dad’s trust and respect, but it sounds like the addition of your dad’s girlfriend and her son in your life has been very stressful for your relationship with our dad and sister, and that you’ve lost trust and respect in your dad as well.

As for your question about if threatening to kick you out is abuse, yes, parents locking out their children (this is illegal) or threatening to lock out their children could be considered mental abuse. If you would like to look at formal definitions of abuse this website might be helpful for you: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. You so do not deserve to be harmed in anyway, and that sounds hurtful that your dad said that.

Some things to think about before you talk to him about this:
• Alternate living arrangements: Of the living options you mentioned above, think about which is preferable to you and how you’ll pay for your living expenses until you can fully support yourself and/or become an adult (in North Carolina, that will be 1. Whether or not you can live with your mom again all depends on the custody rights/ We are not legal experts here at NRS, and can only speak generally. If she has partial custody of you, she might have some rights if you want to live with her.
• Getting your father’s permission: Once you’ve identified a preferred alternative living arrangement and have negotiated the arrangement with that person, think about the best way to calmly discuss this with your father so he grants his permission. Until you turn 18, you legally need his permission to live somewhere else. So you can stay anywhere with his permission.

We hope this information was helpful. Please call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation or if you need support or resources. We want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I am 15 and i ran away will i have a record...

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but from what we know running away is not illegal. You cannot get arrested for running away so you will not have a record. Your guardian has the right to file a runaway report on you since you are a minor. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Although running away is not illegal if you are staying with a friend and the police find you, your friend could get charged with harboring a runaway.

We hope that this information helps. If you have any other questions, please contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) , email, or live chat. Good luck !

[Guest]

Hi,

I am 15, and I need to leave my house urgently. My girlfriend has offered to have me stay at her house, but I don’t want her family to get in legal trouble. I thought I could wait for emancipation, but I cannot endure to live here anymore. My parents are slowly driving me further into depression, and I don’t feel safe to live in my house because of my sexuality and identity. My parents do not treat me as their child anymore. They belittle me, yell at me, and push my emotional needs down the drain. They only care about my grades, not if I’m happy. I get yelled at everyday. They don’t trust me. What can I do? I live in Utah, the legal age for emancipation is 16. I have nine months until that can happen, I can’t wait anymore. What can I do?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to the NRS. We hope we can address some of the issues you were so brave to mention to us.

It’s really upsetting that your parents are unaccepting of your sexuality and your identity. These parts of who you are should not factor into the way your parents treat you. Your emotional needs are valid are deserve to be respected. If you need someone to process the feelings brought on by your parents’ treatment of your identities, you can call us directly at 1-800-786-2929. We also encourage you to rely on friends and other trusted persons for support.

Those who successfully gain emancipation often have to go through a long legal process, and also must be financially independent of their parents before they file for emancipation. These are further considerations you might have to make. Since you won’t be 16 for nine months, emancipation may not be your best option. You might be able to get your parents to permit you to stay with another family member. Such permission can be officiated by a court, making it legal. There are also youth shelters which may be able to take you in. To learn more information about these shelters, and to connect to them, you can call us at 1-800-786-2929. You also may consider running away. Running away can be helpful for some youth, but dangerous for others. It is very important to consider your situation and resources before you run away.

We are not legal experts, but we can give you some general legal information about running away, because it may be helpful if you are considering running away. If a minor runs away from home, their guardians can file a runaway report on them to the police. The police can then order the runaway to return home if the police contact that runaway. Running away is a status offense in much of the United States, instead of a criminal offense, meaning that it is unlikely that you would be arrested or detained for running away. Adults who house you as a runaway may be charged with the criminal offense of harboring a runaway. You may, therefore, end up getting your girlfriend’s family in trouble if you run away and stay with them. This charge, however, is not a common charge from what we know. You may wish to contact your non-emergency local police department about these questions. We can help you do this if you call into us.

You may wish to call us to speak more specifically about any of the options that we have talked about here. We are available 24/7 to assist you with anything you may need. In the meantime, best of luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

I want to run away to a friends house I live in Canada, my parents are not together but living with my mom is hell and she never lets me see my dad or let’s me stay at his house because she doesn’t trust me and I know I’ve lied to her in the past but I’ve started telling her he truth more and more because she tells me to stop lying and tell her everything so I do but she just gets mad at me and pretty much house arrestes me. I don’t really go to school because I can’t really pay attention but I really do try and when I ask to stay after school to do some school work my mom still wouldn’t allow me and if I do when I get home I get yelled at, I have suffered from depression and it recently gotten worse but with my family my mom doesn’t care and won’t even take me to a hospital, I have thought about over dosing but I just can’t live with her anymore when I ask for cloths she says she has no money but o bring up baby bonus, she yells at my for bringing that up to, I just can’t be in a house with her anymore I’m never allowed to go, have, or do anything unless I do it behind her back and it’s rare when I do cuz she’s always on my back there’s 6 of us in my family. Please help?

[ccsmod5]

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a really hard time at home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you reached out to us.
It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home with your mom and your mom does not trust you. It sounds like things have been really hard that you have thought about overdosing. If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself you can call 911 or contact the contact the help suicide hotline in your area http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/inte...-hotlines.html . You can also contact Kid Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 or live chat with them at https://apps.kidshelpphone.ca/chat/chat.html. Their services are anonymous and confidential. You can also contact a Tel-jeunes counselor at 1-800-263-2266. Counseling and family counseling can be helpful in many situations. Talking to a close family member or friend and a school counselor can also be helpful in many situations. Since we are a national hotline based in the United States our services are mostly limited to the US. However if you would like you can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or live chat with us.
You are acting strong in this difficult situation. We wish you the best.
Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I have done something very bad. It involved the police and cps. I am 13 years old and adopted. I live in peoria Arizona. My mom and dad are very mad at me and i want to leave with Cps. Or i want to run away and go to my best friends house. If i run away to her house will they be considered as keeping a runaway? Or if i go with Cps, will they let me move in with her or send me straight to foster care? Her mom approves it.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that you have done something that has caused the police and CPS to get involved, as well as upset your parents. Since you are a minor, if you decide to stay at your best friend's house without your parents consent, your best friend's mom could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. We are not legal experts, so we cannot say for sure if CPS would let you move in with your best friend or send you to foster care. You mentioned that your best friend's mom approves of you staying with her, Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to get more information about how to transfer custody. If you would like to discuss more about your situation, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

[Guest]

I want to run away to my friends house and live with her I'm 12 and I'm scared that I'll get her in trouble or what if my school I go to finds out about this what would they do and I don't wanna come back home

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today! We know that can be a scary thing to do and want you to know we are here to help you!
It sounds like home is not a comfortable place for you to be right now and that can be very scary. If you went to your friend’s house without your parent’s permission, your parent could file a runaway report. It is not a crime to runaway and you would not be arrested or anything like that. A runaway report allows the police to know you are gone and if they find you, they will probably try to return you back home unless home is unsafe. Now, you said you were scared and did not want to go back home, so we are worried it may be an unsafe place for you. If this is the case, you might consider talking to someone at school or another adult you trust like a friend’s parents, neighbor, school counselor, or aunt, uncle, or grandparent. If you are unsafe at home and leave and the police try to take you back home, you can always tell the police you feel unsafe and they can get child protective services involved to keep you safe. We can also help you if you are feeling unsafe. We are open 24/7 by phone; 1-800-786-2929. You can also live chat with us on our website every day 4:30-11:30pm Central time, that’s 2:30-9:30pm in California and 5:30pm-12:30am on the east coast.
It sounds like you feel safe at your friend’s house. Maybe his or her parents can help you talk to your parents about staying with your friend for a little while. You can stay with a friend or family member if you have your parent’s permission.
We are here to listen and here to help you. We know this is a really scary situation and we want you to know we want you to be safe and comfortable. Call us any time: 1-800-786-2929. You never have to give us your name if you don’t want to and we are confidential so we will not tell anyone you called.
Thank you for posting today. You are so brave and so strong!!! Call us anytime and stay safe!

[Guest]

Hi

I'm a 12-year-old boy that is trying to get away from his parents my parents hit me with a stick and I get if your child is being bad and you can spank with your hand or a belt but is it wrong to hit them with a stick. I'm not trying to share any information but I live in mn so is illegal???

[ccsmod5]

Hi, it looks like you've reached out to us through one of our other platforms! Please see our other response through email.

[Guest]

I want to get away

I am 13 and I do not have a good home situation. I need somewhere to go to get away, and I'm thinking I might go to a friend's home. Is that legal? I live in Montana

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that you do not have a good home situation. It sounds like you want to get away immediately. Since you are a minor, if you decide to leave home your family has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Although running away is not illegal, if you decide to stay with a friend they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. You could try asking your family if they would allow you to stay with another family member. You may also want to consider talking to someone that you trust such as a schoolteacher or counselor. If you do decide to leave home, we could look into local safe places for you to stay. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) or email if you would like resources or just need to talk.

[Guest]

If I run away and don’t go home. What will happen?

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It seems like there must be a lot going on in your life especially at home if you’re wanting to leave. Hopefully we can provide you with some answers.

Generally what typically happens in each state is if you are a runaway minor, your parents or legal guardian would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. This is of course if you had any interaction with the police directly or if they stopped you to ask you a few questions. Most police officers aren't going to be actively looking for those that have run away from home. It’s pretty low on their priority list. Regarding your question about not going home. The laws on that specific subject of running away vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. We offer conference calling, if you’d like our help talking to your local police.

Again you’re thanks for writing in. There is someone also willing to listen to you here if you want to reach out. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

[Guest]

I am 15 years old, I know my mom is emotionally, mental, and verbally abusing me. My father can vouch for me as well, but I moved out to live with her in Missouri because I thought she had changed. But she didn't, the reason why I moved away from my father was because of my step mother. Now that they got a divorce I want to go back because Im happy with just my dad, and I want to go. But he lives in New Hampshire. He said that I need to really think about this, and I told him Im not moving in the middle of the school year. But also that where I live they have a really good construction program and if I graduate here I can be certified. I want to stay but I don't want to live with my mom, nor do I want to be placed in foster care. I'm underage until my birthday which is the summer. I want to just get out but stay in the state to graduate. My sister did something similar but then she followed me out the first time to Connecticut and now she's coming back in March for college. I just want to be gone, living on my own, and I know I'm not ready to take on the world, I know I'm gonna be knocked down but even living in the house they don't give me what I need to grow and be prepared for the world. Such as how to drive, taxes, nothing. I know those things because of my dad. I talked to him and he knows I want to leave but he wants me to be super safe, and two of my friends have offered up their houses which I want to go and leave tonight because I told him that's what I'm likely to do. I would still attend the school but I'm just blatantly lost honestly. I want to get out but I feel bad for leaving but I just don't like her, I don't love her, I don't hate her but I don't want to be with her anymore. Her and her husband have both threatened to put hands on me and my dad heard and he got upset. I want to graduate at me school as a tiger and get the certification, but i don't want to do it while living with my blood family.

[ccsmod15]

Hello, thanks for posting and sharing some of what is going on. You certainly do not deserve to be emotionally and mentally abused or threatened to be hit by your mom or her husband. We are glad your dad is supportive of you and it seems like school is very important to you and is keeping you going, which is great.
As far as leaving home without parental permission, if you leave without mom’s consent, she could file you as a runaway with the police. In Missouri, to our knowledge, 18 is the legal age when you can leave home without permission. You may want to consider whether your mom would file a runaway report if you left and stayed with a friend, for example. It isn’t a crime to run away, but if the police find you, they usually take you back home. However, if you disclose abuse, the police will likely contact child protective services and open an investigation.
Child Help is the national child abuse hotline and they can provide more information on abuse, getting custody transferred to a safe adult, and next steps on how to file a report against your mother: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.
If you would like to discuss more options or get some resources for your area, call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat on our website 4:30-11:30pm. We can look up shelters in your area and talk more about your options to leave, stay with a friend, your sister, another family member. Call us anytime! Best of luck and stay strong!

[Guest]

Is it ok if a parent hits you across the face and you go on living your life knowing your parents are bad people

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thanks for posting on our forum, we appreciate you coming to us for help.

It’s absolutely not okay for your parents to hit or harm you. Physical abuse is not something your parents should be doing to you. You do have the right to report the abuse to child protective services. If the abuse is found to be highly dangerous you would be removed from the home. To learn more about reporting abuse please do not hesitate to call us or the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453 to learn more about reporting. It may be helpful to talk with teachers or guidance counselors at school about how you’re treated at home.

If you would like to continue to discuss your situation and need additional support, feel free to contact us through our 24 crisis hotline, email, or live chat.

- NRS

[Guest]

Hi i am a 13 year old girl that lives in California. Life at my house is really tough cause my parents treat me like there little slave and my dad is a bit abusive. I want to run away to a friends house that says that it would be fine for me to do. I wanted to know if it would be okay for me to do that without having to go in front of judges, I don't want to get my friend nor there family in trouble, but i don't want to face any judges cause if that happens then what if my friends loose and i have to go back to my parent?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have been through a lot lately, and we hope we can give you some information to help you out.
First off, you mention your dad being a bit abusive. Know that you do not deserve to be abused. You are valuable and worthy of feeling safe in your own home. If you ever would like to talk to someone about this, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), or the Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. Either place can also help you file a report of the abuse to help you be safer there.
You also mention wanting to run away to a friend’s who is willing to take you in. It is not illegal to run away, but it is a status offense. A status offense is something like smoking cigarettes under the age of 18, or being out past curfew. If your parents file a runaway report with the police, they will take you back home to them. If they believe you are not safe at home, they may detain you and involve child protective services. If you do leave home, there is the potential that whoever you stay with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is illegal.
If you do not decide running away is right for you, maybe there is someone you can talk to about the way you are feeling. Something a teacher or school counselor can be helpful, or a friend or family member.
We hope that this information is helpful. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions or would like to talk more about your situation.

[Guest]

Hi I am 12 and I wanted to run away from my home to my friends house. I didn't want to press charges or get my friend's family in trouble. I know 12 is a young age, but I got into drinking, drugs, and a bunch of bad stuff. My parents act like they love me but I know they hate me. They abuse me and because of that, I cut. I do not have a death wish but I am very suicidal. I've been sexually harassed and raped (by people at my school) I don't want to feel guilt when I run away. I'm not aloud to hang out with or talk to my friend who I'm running away to. I had all electronics cut out of my life because of my weed, xanax, cocaine, and lean addiction. What could I do?

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a very difficult place right now. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and we really appreciate that you have taken this step.
Firstly any type of abuse is never ok and you in no way deserve to be treated like that. I’m so sorry to hear that you were sexually harassed and raped. I understand that you don’t want to press charges but a first step may be to call a hotline that supports survivors of abuse. One such hotline is called Child Help and they can be reached at 18004224453. Another organization is called RAINN and they provide support to victims of rape. They can be reached at 800.656.HOPE (4673).
If you do feel you want to press charges at any point we could potentially file an abuse report with Child Protective Services about the stuff that’s been going on. If this is something you want to pursue you could either call us and we can help you file it or you can file it independent of us through your local police department.
If however, at anytime you feel you are in an unsafe situation you should call 911.
You also talked about going through some difficult mental health issues and are feeling suicidal. This is a lot to endure and you absolutely deserve to find some support and help through this time. Some possible numbers are The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. There’s also To Write Love on Her Arms which is an online resource at twloha.com.
Lastly, you said you would like to leave home and stay with a friend. I can completely understand why you would want to do this. There are some legal issues with running away. If the police don’t know about your situation and your parents file a runaway report, the police can bring you home and your friend’s family may get charged with harboring a runaway.
All of this probably feels overwhelming, and that’s ok. If you want to talk about any of the options we discussed you have, feel free to reach out to us further. We’re 24/7, confidential, and toll-free. Our number is 18007862929. We also have a confidential online messaging service after 4:30 on www.1800runaway.org.
We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out to us and we hope we were able to provide you with some help!