Running away to a friends house

[Guest]

Hi, I'm 16 and I live in a house where my dad yells at me a lot, and emotionally abuses me to a point I numb. Mom ignores me until I snap into a meltdown, she them gets in my face too closely and I shove her. It's happened a few times. They yell at me for eating, and always say I'm disrespectful, explosive and crazy. For years I've had to deal with this. Today, Mom did the same thing as previously and dragged me off my feet across the house to my room, throwing me on the floor and shutting the door. Dad came into the house after hearing me screaming and took her side immediately, yelling at me how he'd send me to a mental hospital for hurting my mom. She laughed at me while he was screaming. I told multiple people what happened and a couple of people have offered to pick me up out, I'm not sure if I should take their offer. But I'm not safe here either. What do I do?

[ccsmod10]

Hi, we are grateful that you contacted us, and we recognize that reaching out for help like this is not easy. What you have described is definitely abusive behavior, and is not how you deserve to be treated. You deserve to feel supported, accepted, and loved at home, not ridiculed, disrespected, or unsafe.

Leaving to stay with someone else is an option. It can be helpful to consider how your parents might react if you did that. Technically, if you left without them knowing, they could file a runaway report, which would authorize police to come check where you were. Considering your age, it is unlikely that they would forcibly return you home if you said that your home was abusive, but technically they COULD do so. Runaway laws are pretty inconsistently enforced so it can be difficult to predict exactly what would happen.

Even if you are just staying with someone for a few days, it might be beneficial to your mental health to get some time and space away from home.

We can talk more about your situation if you text chat us (1800runaway.org) or call us (1-800-786-2929). Discussing the specifics some more might help highlight other ways to improve your situation. Please don't hesitate to reach out; we are on your side.

[Guest]

Im 14 years old and I have a really bad home and u wanna run away but I don’t know where I need help can u guys plz help me

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I live in Halifax Virginia. Ive tried to commit 4 times and my fourth time i was hospitalized and sent to a mental hospital for two weeks. i cannot stay in that house. ive thought of almost everything if i do happen to run away i have a friend who lives maybe 10 minutes in some change by foot and i have an escape plan to leave from home. I cant stay i that house with my mother and stepdad i dont prefer to go in detail but she has taken full custody away from my real father and he lives in another country so it would be hard to go to him ive found my birth certificate and my mothers and other legal documents should i take those with me and maybe try to send them to my father somehow? if my friends family is charged with kidnapping even if they dont know im a runaway can they still get in trouble? and if the cops do find me can i tell them the reason i ran away so my friend and her family doesnt get in trouble?

[ccsmod11]

Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. You are certainly going through a lot right now with is really, really unfortunate! Without even knowing what your family life is like, it’s evident that you are struggling a lot and our hearts go out to you.


You have asked a lot of great questions and hopefully we can get them answered. It’s very hard not knowing your age, but in a simple google search, it shows that in Virginia that 18 is the legal age to be considered an adult. Running away is not considered a criminal matter and if you look at www.vbgov.com you will see that the state makes a good effort to try to deal with the situation and attempts to correct the situation at home, potentially with counseling services. Regarding your friend’s parents, Virginia takes harboring a minor pretty seriously and could result in fines and potential prison time for the adults. Being under 18 and getting picked by law enforcement will likely result in being returned to your home. As mentioned above, it does seem like Virginia takes running away very seriously and will try to help in any way they can. As far as your birth certificate and other legal documents, it’s probably best to only have copies with you should you decide to leave. If real documents were to get lost or stolen, it becomes a real challenge for anyone to try to replace them. And unfortunately, being on the streets as a runaway, it is possible that despite your efforts to keep things safe, your belongings may be stolen. It’s really a crazy world on the streets.



Hopefully these answers will assist you. It would be great if you could reach out to us either via our Chat option or phone so we could speak to you and get some more details what’s making it so hard to be at home. We have a database of resources that may be of help to you provided we can get just a bit more detail about your situation. Our chat option is available at www.1800runaway.org and we have people ready to speak to you at 1-800-786-2929. Both chat and live calls are available 24/7.



Thanks again for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Hope we hear from you soon!



Good Luck!



Sincerely,

National Runaway Safeline.

[Guest]

Hello i'm 11 and I want to run away from my house I live in Virginia close to Washington D.C. I was thinking to run away and get a job at Starbucks or something like that is it safe pls respond ASAP thank you!

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are wanting to run away from home and go to a friend’s house. Having a safe place to go is the most important thing to consider. Also if you were to run away, your parents/guardians could file a runaway report with police and you would likely be brought back home. It is also unlikely that you would be able to get a job at 11, especially without parents giving you permission to do so. If you would like to talk more about why you are wanting to run away or talk through some other options, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 13, turning 14 this year and my parents are divorced. My mom is emotionally abuse to me and I have to go back to her apartment every other week. I want to run away and I know the risks. However I want to run away to my closest friend’s house and she lives in Utah, while I’m in alabama. I don’t know what to do because it’s getting very rough on my mental health living with my mother. I’ve started self harm but only once and I’m afraid that it’s going to be t worse. Any advice for running away without getting caught?

[ccsmod10]

Summary of Call
TITLE:

Running away to a friends house Daughter in need or will end up drop...f schhoolas a


FORUM POST:

I’m 13, turning 14 this year and my parents are divorced. My mom is emotionally abuse to me and I have to go back to her apartment every other week. I want to run away and I know the risks. However I want to run away to my closest friend’s house and she lives in Utah, while I’m in alabama. I don’t know what to do because it’s getting very rough on my mental health living with my mother. I’ve started self harm but only once and I’m afraid that it’s going to be t worse. Any advice for running away without getting caught?


NRS:

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are happy you reached out as we know that isn't always the easiest thing to do. It takes a lot of strength to perserve in the type of situation you are in. We are nondirective at NRS, so we don't give folks tips or advice when it comes to running away. We do however provide folks resources, information, and help talk through potential options to assist in making informed decisions.

While we are not legal experts at NRS, here is some information that may be useful for you regarding staying with your friend. Generally, running away is not a criminal offense, however it is a status offense. This means running away would not cause you to get charged, but it could lead to the police returning you to your parents, if you were to be reported as a runaway. Beyond that, your friends, friend's parents / guardians (or whomever you end up staying with) could potentially get charged with harboring a runaway or something similar.

One potential resource for you considering your mention of struggles with mental health self harm is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. They can be reached by calling 988 or chatting here https://988lifeline.org/chat/

We encourage you to reach out either via phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or via text (click the “CHAT” button on the top of our homepage). This better allows for communication to ensure you have the information/resources you need to make an informed decision. It generally is more difficult to do this via the forum, but we are happy to help via whichever medium.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

hi im 12 and want to run away to my friends house. i dont want to get them in trouble by bypassing thier property. should they adopt me to keep me as thier own?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,

We are really glad you reached out to us today. We know it takes a lot of courage to do so and we are happy you’re here. Running away can be a really big decision to make, so it sounds like there is something going on at home that makes you feel this is your only option.

It sounds like you have some questions about running away and staying at your friend’s house. While we aren’t legal experts, we will try to give you some general information that may help. To start off, running away is not illegal, but instead known as a “status offense.” This just means that if you leave without your guardian’s permission, they can file a runaway report. If that happens and you are found, police will most likely bring you back home. In addition to this, some states have laws that make hiding a runaway a crime. So, if you run to your friend’s house and their parents know that you have run away and don’t tell anyone, they could possibly get in trouble.

Every situation is different and we want to be there to support you in the best way we can. We really encourage you to reach out to us either by calling our 24/7 hotline (1800RUNAWAY (786-2929)) or chatting with us online through 1800runaway.org. This way, we can have a better understanding of your situation, talk through alternative options and see how we may be able to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Stay Safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hello I am 14 and I dont feel safe at home I ran away once already and was staying with a friend my parents choose to not press charges im wondering if I run away again would the police make me go back or should I wait until 16 so I can get emancipated

[ccsmod15]

Hi. Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time. You deserve to feel safe at home. We are not legal experts however it is possible that if the police were to locate you that they could return you back to your parents. If you’d like additional support, help filing an abuse report or if you'd to discuss emancipation in greater detail, please reach out to our hotline at 1800-runaway or visit our website to start a chat with us at https://www.1800runaway.org/. We’re always here and happy to help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you are in any immediate danger please contact 911.  Take care.

[Guest]

Hi I'm 15, my home life sucks and is terrible and I wanna run away to my friends house in Ontario. Is there any laws that could put my friends parents in jail or sued??

[Guest]

im 14 and i live in ohio i want to runaway to conneticut with my boyfriend and his family is there any runaway laws there? can his parents adopt me? if i want to live with them or go to school will i be found?

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for recaching out to the National Runaway Safline. NRS appreciate you reaching out and sharing your experience. NRS are not legal experts and NRS is not familiar with the laws in Connecticut. In most states, if you decide to run away from home at 14 your parents could file a runaway report and anyone you stay with might be accused of harboring a runway. If your whereabouts are located or you are found, its likely that you will be placed back home if home seems to be a safe place. It will be a good idea to contact legal services and child protective services for further information concerning adoption.


NRS want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.




Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS

[Guest]

im 12 years old. i live in canada and my (abusive) father is going to drive me to san antonio. my plan is to run away and to stay at a friends house in san antonio so they can fight against my dad to potentially adopt me. are there any cons?

[Guest]

Help
I’m 13, my name’s Maxwell (I’m trans, he/they) my family is verbally and mentally abusive. I am likely to run away to my boyfriends house. I live in SC, and I’m not aware of the laws about running away. I don't want to get his parents in trouble. Any information about the laws here?