Running away to a friends house

[Guest]

Hi, im 17 in the state of AZ. my mother and I don't mix well, she's toxic and i dont listen. She loves to pick fights with me over really small stuff like If she thinks im lying, she'll grab me by the hair and throw me around, smother me with her body, threaten me, chase me with a knife, she beat me with scissors one time because I lied and said i wasn't watching TV. I have at least more then 9 scars covering my body. Im called a hoe and desperate for having multile guy friends. Me on the other hand will bring my guy friends over and my mom will freak and say "call them and ask them if you can stay with them because you cant stay here. I'll take you." BUT I dont trust that because knowing her, she'll probably make up a story and send the police or something to their house. Im running away because I have a 25 year old friend who said I could stay with him and im already in the process of looking for a job and when I leave im going to start the emancipation process and everything. So if i let my mom know like, "hey, im running away. (give her the reason). i'll be fine. its better this way. Leave me to make my own mistakes and learn from them" is that a way to keep my friend safe or something? If not, Is there anyway to keep my friend safe and to keep me away from my mom?

[ccsmod15]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It takes great courage to reach out for help, and we are glad that you have decided to reach out to us. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

What you have described seems abusive and we are sorry that you are having to go through that. You do not deserve to be treated that way, and you do have the right to file a report. One option would be to contact Child Help at: 1-800-422-4453, and they can help you file an abuse report. You can also talk to a teacher or school counselor about what is going on at home and they would be able to help with a report. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us and we would be able to help you make a report.

In regards to running away, since you are considered a minor, if you do runaway your mom can contact the local police department and file a runaway report. When you are found you can possibly be returned to your mother or be sent to a youth detention center. Keep in mind if you are found with an older adult, he/she can get in trouble with law enforcement for harboring a minor.

We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are available to you 24/7 to listen and to provide support through this challenging time.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Best of luck!

NRS

[Guest]

i am 14 and i ran away to my girlfriends house can her parents be charged

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for contacting us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about your situation. It sounds like you may have been in a tough spot at home and you want to know more about runaway laws. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally about laws that affect youth in crisis.

18 is usually the age you are able to leave home without permission. If you leave home as a minor (under 1, your parents do have the option to report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, and you will not be arrested. It is a status offense which means your parents can ask the police to return you home. Harboring a runaway charges are not very common, but anyone you stay with is at risk of being charged with a misdemeanor.

We are here to support you 24/7. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please do not hesitate to contact us directly by phone or live chat. 1-800-RUNAWAY; 1800runaway.org.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello!
I am asking this question for a friend of mine who is 17 years old.
He's voiced concerns to me about his parental situation and has been trying to find a way out for years. We live in Troutman, North Carolina. Would he be able to stay at my house without legal repercussions? He would not have his parent's consent for this move.
I just don't want my parental guardians or anyone being affected lawfully by this situation say, his mother called the cops on us for "harboring her runaway son" or something similar.
Thank you so very much! I appreciate your advice greatly in advance.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to run away to your house. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey I'm 17 I live in a terrible home my mom is manipulative and a huge liar and she is cruel and her bf very mean and I cant live here anymore because I get so stressed out I get really sick I have the most terrible stomach ache and I have ran away once I want to know if I can run away to my grandma house and live with her cause I'm 17 and will be 18 in may of 2022 but I can't wait that long my life is really bad I want to go live with my dad and grandma but I don't want my grandma to get in trouble for me running away to her home!!!

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like your life at home is pretty difficult and isolating right now. You deserve to feel safe and validated at home. We are glad to hear you have people like your grandma and dad who seem to care about your well-being.

We are not legal experts, but generally the easiest way to leave home is with the permission of your legal guardian. If this is not a possibility, leaving home at 17 may be an option that could potentially have positive and negative consequences that follow. Generally, guardians are supposed to file runaway reports with the police when youth leave home before 18. This means if you come into contact with the police or they know your exact location, they are obligated to return you home, unless there is severe abuse and neglect in your current living situation. To our knowledge, it is not illegal for a young person to leave, however there is a risk that harboring a runaway charges can be brought upon the adult who houses you. That being said, in a lot of states, being 17 is a grey area. Police may choose to not take the runaway case because you are so close to being an adult. Any legal action against you or a loved one may not even be seen by a court until you are well passed 18. A good way to see how your local police will handle your case, is to reach out to your non-emergency police line and ask. This is something we can help you do if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat witch us through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

We want you to be able to make an informed decision that you feel is best for your mental and physical safety. Please do not hesitate to reach out for more support. We are here 24/7/365 to offer you confidential and non-judgmental help.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I want to run away, I have emotionally and physically abusive parents and in 2 years I am thinking of running away and living at a friends house. I live in NC and I don’t want any legal trouble or the police to come looking for me. My plan is to talk to my parents about leaving and also talking to my friends parents. I don’t feel safe in my current household and I just want to run away from it all either it’s suicide or running away i’d take it without a second thought, By the way, in 2 years I’d be 14. Any advice?

[ccsmod15]

Hello and thank you for contacting NRS! We appreciate you into using us as a resource. I am very sorry that you currently going through this difficult situation. It sounds to me that your parents have been very abusive to you. Although we are not legal advisors, have you considered about filing an abuse report? You mentioned that you do not feel safe at your household Has child protective services ever been contacted regarding the abuse and neglect at home? It is very difficult for to inform you of whether or not you have to return home. If you are filed as a runaway, your parents could inform the police of your current location. It may be up to the police officer(s) who are dispatched to the scene to determine whether you're currently safe and/or if you need to return home. You mentioned about either suicide as an option. Have you had constant thoughts about suicide? Have you considered talking to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800)-273-8255? If you have any additional questions, please feel free to reach back out to us again. We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY ( 800-786-2929). Our hotline is confidential, anonymous, and toll-free. In addition to our hotline, you can receive live assistance via chats, emails, and forums.
Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey im 17 years old and wish to run away my parents treat my younger and older ones better than they do to me I want to run away or move out is there any laws against this I live in dalton Georgia

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

not sure what to do
i’ll be 17 next month and I really want to leave my moms. she’s verbally and emotionally abusive and my household is very toxic, i’m from arkansas so I know that as a “runaway” all they’ll do is pick me up and take me back home but what should I do? our altercation tonight got physical and she pushed me and then as well was calling me all kinds of names. I love my mom but she really hurt me over and over and I have a place to stay at my best friends and her mom is okay with it as well.

[Guest]

Ok so I’m 15 and turning 16 in December and I don’t really want to stay with my parents. They are very controlling and tho they’ve never shown any signs of physical abuse I am worried about mental abuse because a few of the friends I’ve told about my at home life have been suspicious of that. I’m part of the lgbtq+ community and my family is Christian… I’ve tried telling them but, they just stopped me and told me I was wrong and confused, Then never let me talk about it again. Now I’m in a relationship with someone and I’m scared that if they find out they will never let me see my friend/friends again. I want to run away but I don’t want to endanger my loved ones family or anything like that. I have an uncle who lives farish away who is accepting of me and is the only one in my family that really knows. I could really use some help.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

We are so glad you decided to reach out to NRS. It seems like your life with your parents is invalidating and can feel isolating. It is totally understandable why you may be feeling like leaving home is your only option.

The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. You know if this is something that is possible for you to obtain, but perhaps a trusted adult like your uncle could help talk to your parents with you. The second way we are aware of is child abuse reporting. Generally when a report is made, a investigation will take place to decide if the youth's safety is at risk. There is also emancipation options in some states. For states that offer emancipation, generally youth have to be 16 and be able to support themselves on their own. This can be a lengthy legal process, but we would be happy to help look into some legal resources in your area if you would like us to. You can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us through our website, www.1800runaway.org.

You deserve to live as your most authentic self and feel comfortable in your body and community. A great resource for LGBTQ+ people is called the Trevor Project. Their phone number is www.thetrevorproject.org. They do a lot of work to support queer and trans mental health and they may be able to provide you with invaluable support!

We are not legal experts but generally if a youth under 18 leaves home without permission, parents are obligated to file runaway reports with the police. If the police locate the young person they are generally obligated to return youth home. Also it is possible that harboring a runaway charges could be pressed on the adult who houses the runaway youth. To our knowledge, this does not happen very often, but it is absolutely something to consider. Please do not hesitate to reach out for resources, support, or help talking through any plan to stay or leave. We are here 24/7/365. We hope to hear from you soon.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

hi im 14 and i live in Tennessee i want to make arrangements to run away. my home is filled with constant disaster and misery. im running away to my friends house but i need to make sure her family wont get in trouble. will they be ok?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS. It sounds like you might be in a tough situation at home and you feel leaving might be your best option. It seems you want to know more about runaway laws.

18 is usually the age you are able to leave home without permission. If you leave under 18, your parents have the option to report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your parents can ask that police return you home if you are found. While it is uncommon, whoever you stay with would be at risk of harboring a runaway.

We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation, please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 15 years old I wanna run away my parents aren’t the helping me I tried killing my self once or twice they didn’t care they caught me vapping I wanna stay at friends house I live in Ireland cork city I can’t stand my family anymore my dad is super toxic to me and my mental health so is my mom

[ccsmod15]

Hello, and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been feeling really stressed at home and not getting the support you need. It makes sense that you’re feeling helpless right now, but you don’t have to go through this alone.

You deserve to feel safe where you live and get the support you need for your mental health. If you’re ever thinking about trying to hurt yourself or kill yourself again, please know that there is always someone available to talk to you, 24/7, confidentially and anonymously. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available any time at 800-273-8255 and https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. You can also contact us any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Someone is always available to be there to listen to you and offer support, even if you’re not getting the support you’re looking for from your parents right now.

It makes sense that your home life is feeling toxic and that feeling is making you want to run away or live somewhere else. You might want to think about what kinds of support you’re looking for from your parents, and whether there are other adults in your life whom you can trust to share your feelings with. Sometimes it can be helpful to think about what you would need to see change around you for you to get some relief and start to feel better. If you ever need helping talking that out, you can contact us at NRS any time via phone or online chat. We also offer a conference call service, where we can moderate a phone call between a youth and parent, to help make sure everyone feels their voice is being heard.

[Guest]

i am 14 years old and i need someone to help me to make a plan to run away from home so i can live with my friend

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i tried killing my self but they dont care but they only care when i take their things

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

It sounds like you are thinking about harming yourself or ending your life. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You deserve to be prioritized over material things, you life means so much more than stuff! You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk. Another great resource is the NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness) The NAMI HelpLine can also be reached by emailing [email protected] or by calling their hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

We hope to hear from you soon.


Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Dumb, but tempting...

I'm 16 and in New Jersey. I'm constantly getting grounded for breaking rules at my house, and I have just reached a level of zero cares at this point. I'm considering emancipating myself, but it seems like a dumb option. Dumb but tempting. I realize I don't have it as bad as half the other kids that I've seen post here, but I'm just so sick of not being allowed to do as I please. I'm considering just grabbing my most important stuff and leaving to live with a friend but... I've read through some of the posts on here and it looks like my parents might press charges against my friends. I wish there was just a place for teens to go temporarily when they're done with home life. I'm not mentally mature enough to handle a job. I'm not even sure I could get an apartment. I'm immature even for my age, so I won't last a second in the real world. I just wish I could fix the broken part of my brain that doesn't care to change my behavior.

Thanks for reading even if I don't get a reply. I just needed a place to at least vent.

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thanks for reaching out to the NRS. We're sorry to hear that you're not having the freedom you want at home. We hear you, and just because you feel you don't have it as bad as the other kids on here doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. When you're 16, you reach a tricky spot where you want to have the freedom to do what you want but at the same time you're not totally independent of your parents either.

It's good that you had the initiative to decide and reach out to use about safety and legal considerations before taking action. We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but you are correct that because you are a minor, harboring you can be considered illegal. There are temporary youth shelters for teens that run away -- if this is something that interests you, feel free to reach out to our hotline.

If you have more questions or just want to vent about your situation more with one of our representatives, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us at 1800runaway.org.

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I’m 13 years old and I want to run away to a friends house but I’m afraid that they and their dad will get in trouble for taking me in. My family doesn’t accept me for my sexuality and gender identity and the way I dress. They make constant jokes about when I was self harming, and my sexuality. I don’t feel safe around my dad or brother because they always sexualize my body. Living in this household makes me want to kill myself, and my mom verbally abuses me. She told me once that she never wanted a “daughter” like me and always treats my brother better. I understand as an older child that I have to make some sacrifices, but the treatment he gets is beyond simple. Sometimes my mom would get so angry at me she’d start hitting my closet doors, taking my blankets away so I’m cold for the night, and ripping and destroying my safe space (a part of my room that I made for me that I hide all of my pride stuff and clothes that my mom can’t take away unless she finds it). A lot of my friends and their families are willing to take me in, but my parents might press charges against them and take me back and never let me out of the house again, or at least never give me any privacy ever again. I’m still traumatized from the time I was 3 and my mom beat me with a wooden spoon. My mom thinks she’s always right because she’s older (common in my culture) and she’s says I’m lucky that she’s taking care of me, but I remember when she lied to me and told me abuse is normal in here in America (we lived somewhere else before). I’ll still go to the same school since my friends still live close to my school, I live in Minnesota. So here are my questions:
1. if the police never found me would my parents be unable to press charges or take me back?
2. if I were to run away but not stay with anyone will I be the only one in trouble?

thanks

[ccsmod15]

Thanks so much for reaching out. Sounds like you're in a very challenging situation with your family. No one should be treating you the way they are about your gender and sexual identity. It is wrong. First off, let us answer your specific questions:

Given your age, in the law's eyes, your parents are responsible for you. If they report you when you run away, and the police find you, they will return you to your parents. Depending on what they do, your parents could file charges against any other adults that you stay with for harboring a minor.
Running away is usually not considered illegal, but if the police find you, though, you probably will be returned home.

We'd like to suggest some places where you could receive some support for what you're facing. Here are two support hot lines for support on the issues you mentioned:

www.glbthotline.org (1-800-246-7743)
The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386)

Another option is to find an adult you trust to talk to you and get some support from someone who is on your side. You can also see your school counselor, who should be able to talk to and support you in what you're facing. Finally, if you want to talk about reporting your parents for the emotional and physical abuse you're experience, that is another option. You can do that through us or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

Good luck and don't hesitate to reach out again. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY as we're here 24/7 or chat with us via www.1800hotline.org.

Stay safe,
NRS