Running away to a friends house

[Guest]

I’m 12 and I live in Missouri, I hate being at home. I don’t really know if what my mother is doing is actually illegal and I don’t think it is but I hate the way she treats me. I have been dealing with severe depression for about 9 months now and I hate being home. If I ran away to a nearby friends house I would be in big trouble. And I would have to explain why I did and my parents would just scoff and move on with their life’s. I don’t want to get my friend in trouble or make my parents think I’m even more of a brat and that I’m being ungrateful. Please help.

[ccsmod16]

Hi, Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation at home, made worse by your parents scoffing at both how you are treated and the depression that comes from that treatment.

Maybe you there’s a way that you can ask to stay with your friend for a short time, say once a week so that you can get a break from home. But this is something we can talk over together. The best way for us to help you is if we can talk together.

You can reach us by phone at 1800-786-2929 (1800-runaway) or via live chat at www.1800runaway.org We are here for you 24/7 and all of our services are confidential. We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 12 and I want to run away just to cool down and so my parents feel better about me. I want to go to a friends house, but I don’t want to start problems with the law. And I certainly do not want my parents, my friends parents, me or my friend to get in trouble. I live in Washington and I really want advice to see what I can do.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Im 13 and I want to run away. My parents found out I was bi and beat me. There are strangulation marks on my neck. I was thinking of running to my bffs house and I don't want her in trouble yet i still love my family. It just feels as if they're never there. I live in state college Pennsylvania

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It seems like you have been through a lot, and we want you to know that it is never OK for a parent to put their hands on you like that. That seems like grounds to report child abuse. If you want more information about that childhelp.org is a good resource to see your options. It may be good to take pictures of the bruising on your neck to keep as proof if you do decide you want to report. Again that is a tough situation and has to be scary and we want you to know we are here to support you.
If you were to leave to your friends’ house your parents could file a runaway report and have the police bring you home, and your friend and their parents could be at risk of a harboring a runaway charge. We aren’t legal experts but generally that risk for charges goes down if your friend doesn’t try to hide you from police if they were to come. Police may also listen to your story and keep you from going home if they deem it dangerous for you to go.
Again it seems like a really difficult situation to be in and we hope this information helps. If you need someone to talk to or have more questions please reach out to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat online with us.

[Guest]

i’m 16 and i want to get out of my house and go to my boyfriends house i’m safe there my parents always fuss and it gets harsh what can i do

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like things are hard at home and you feel like you would be more comfortable at your boyfriends.
While we aren’t legal experts generally if you were to go to live there without parent permission they could file a runaway report on you. This would allow the police to force you to go back to your parents’ house. There is also a chance that your boyfriend or his parents could face harboring a runaway charge.
Hopefully this information helps you come to a decision, if you have more questions or feel like you need someone to talk to you can always reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online.

[Guest]

Hello, I’m 17 and my mother just beat me till I bleed out of my mouth and nose for some stupid reason. She very oftenly abuse me mentally too like all the time. I want to run away to my friends house but i don’t want them to get into trouble. I’m 17 and live in Rhode Island please help me. Oh and the cops were called but they claimed that it was not domestic violence or abuse even though my mouth was bleeding like I was shot in the nought they even asked if I needed aid to my Injuries. I thought if there was any call of domestic violence they are supposed to separate the two no matter what. Please help and fast

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out,
It seems like you have had a very intense night. It’s ridiculous that the police did nothing about the situation. Generally they should allow you to report the child abuse at the very least. If you feel you are in danger still or again please don’t hesitate to call the police again.
Generally if you were to leave before 18 your mom can still file a runaway report, although considering the night you’ve been through the police might at least let you stay the night or a while somewhere else to let things cool down. We aren’t legal experts though so we can’t say for sure. There is also a risk of a harboring a runaway charge for those you went to, however from what we’ve heard that risk tends to go down if they don’t try to keep you hidden from the police.
If you want more information about child abuse reporting you could go to childhelp.org for more information about your options. You can also reach out to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you have more questions.

[Guest]

My home life is mentally abusive and a hard place to live. I am thinking of running away to my moms house (my parents are divorced and my moms a very kind nurturing woman) and I know it would be better there for me mentally. I am 17. If I were to run away, would I be returned home? Or would I be allowed to stay since it’s my moms place?

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are not legal experts so you might speak with your mother about any legal custody agreements they might have. It may play a key role in what actions the police might take.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.You don't deserve to be abused in any way. It's not your fault that this is happening. Another option you might consider is reporting the abuse to child services. Child help 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for possibly staying with your mom as far as transferring custody.


We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I have a friend who lives in Malaysia and is getting abused by their family, I want to help them but live in the US. They wanted to stay with me until they turn legal age (They'll be 17 in March), they've been around drugs and abusive parents. I don't know how to help them and not got in trouble with law enforcements here in New Jersey. I'm almost 18 and want some light on the situation, my parent is very open to taking them in.

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for contacting NRS,

We appreciate you taking the time to contact us and telling us your story. From what we understand
it seems like you hvae a friend who is being abused in another country. We unfortunately do not have
legal expertise in international laws. We suggest perhaps speaking with your parents about the situation
seeing if your parent would want to help. From there they can reach out to a lawyer who might be able to
help with your current situation.


We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

im 13 y/o and im running away to a friends house bc if i stay at my house longer i might kill myself, im crashing at a friends house and she'll get me to a shelter, if i live at a youth homeless shelter have a pssibilit i might go back home?

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to NRS,
It seems like you are planning to leave and we are glad you have a safe place to go. Most shelters do have to notify parents or get their consent within 24-72 hours. There are some that don’t so it may be worth searching around on https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ and calling out to them for more information.
Your parents will likely file a runaway report as well. This means if police find you they will bring you back home. They will probably ask what your reasons were for leaving and if they think it is unsafe for you to go back they may look for other options or let you stay there for a while.
Hopefully this information is helpful for you. If you need to vent about your situation or have more questions please reach out to our online chat or our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

[Guest]

Can I be reported a runaway if I stay in contact with my parents

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS it seems like you have questions about the legality of running away and your options.
Short answer is yes you can still be reported as a runaway even if your parents know where you are. If you leave before turning 18 without their permission then they can have police bring you back home and potentially those you are staying with could be faced with harboring a runaway charge.
If you have more questions or just need to vent please don’t hesitate to reach out to our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or use our online chat option at 1800runawway.org.

[Guest]

My family is toxic and my mum is abusive, I can’t tell my mum any issues without her telling me to suck it up and it’s my fault that it happens. She divorced my dad in 2017 and has told me I look like him and how I’m exactly like him ever since. I was overweight and had no support from my mum so I helped myself to eventually reach my goal. I understand that my mum has sacrificed a lot for me but she still puts me down and tells me how much she hates me. I do not want to contact police because I’m afraid that they will put her away which I do not want. I do not want to bother her life I just want to leave her alone. She’s told me if I loved my friends so much she’ll give me a choice to move out. But when I say yes to moving out she refuses. I’m 13 and my best friends family is the only place that makes me feel safe. How can I run away? I live in Australia so the legal age to move out is 16 and I cannot wait for another 3 years in here

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for contacting NRS,
It seems like you are going through a lot at home and that your mom has been treating you unfairly since she divorced your dad. It isn’t ok for her to take things out on you even if she has worked hard to care for you until now, it doesn’t excuse her actions. You deserve to be supported and have a safe home.
We are a United States based agency so we can’t really advise on your options legally in Australia, https://www.childhelplineinternational.org/ may be able to point you in the right direction to find resources that can help you out.
We wish you good luck from NRS.

[Guest]

Im 16. I turned 16 in april. I want to run away in june. Im sick and tired of being at home. My parents constantly blame me for everything and say everything is my fault. On sunday my dad started shoving me and saying that's what i do verbally to them. I told him i was gonna run away and he said that i can't because of quarantine. So i'm leaving in june. If my dad says i can leave, does that mean i can go to a friends house and stay there till im 18? Also my mom has access to my bank account. Am i legally allowed to take my ATM card so i can take the money I HAVE earned to pay my friend parents for rent and food and stuff. I was the 1 who eearned the money so there for i can take my card right? also my friend told me that it was illigal for parents to take money their kids have earned with no reason.- is that true?

[ccsmod7]

HI there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like a difficult situation at home with the fighting and having to be quarantined with your family. That has to be hurtful that your dad shoved you and you are feeling like they blame everything on you. Here at NRS, we truly want to inform you and support you during this difficult time.

To answer your questions, if your dad gives you permission to live with your friend, he can give you permission until you turn 18. However, he can rescind his permission if he wanted to, permission is not legally binding so if he gives you permission, it does not guaruntee that you can stay there until you are 18. Generally speaking, your parent can still stay on your bank account, and it would be hard to take away your mom's access to that account before you are 18. She also has the right as your guardian to give you or take away your ATM card unfortunately. We are not legal experts but generally speaking, what your friend said is not true - she can have access to your bank account or the money in there. Although it has to be really frustrating to have your parent take your money from you, that cannot be easy to deal with.

We know those might not have been the answers you were looking for. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk more about your situation. We are always here for you. 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi i'm 11 years old and i want to run away. My family is toxic and my dad abuses me. The other day my mom got frustrated with me because i was asking for help with schoolwork because i'm failing english. She said "its a good thing i dont have a gun because i would just shoot myself right in the head because of you."In March when my dad tried to hit my mom, she called the police. We eventually went to a hotel for about 4 days and were protected by a shelter, but my dad constantly checked to see if we were there and i have no idea how he found out we were there because the room wasn't payed for in my mom's name. About a week after we got home, we got a text from my uncle that my dad was getting counseling. He hasn't yet but my mom didn't hesitate to let him back in the house and he hasn't changed. When i got mad at my brother he said "Just because of what happened between me and mom doesn't mean i can't beat you." I remember when I spent the night at my friend's house, her parents where no nice and caring. I live near her but i'm afraid if i leave then either my dad will beat me and never let me leave the house again, or her parents would just send me home. Also my family is planing to move cross-country in about a month so i have to hurry. And this whole time none of my family has been willing to take me. sorry this is long, but i'd appreciate if someone answered back. I'm on my school account right now so i don't have much time to do something without getting caught.

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are very sorry to hear you are being abused -- something you absolutely do not deserve. It sounds like there is a lot of turmoil at home and that must be very frustrating to deal with. No wonder you want to leave.

One option you have is to file an abuse report on what's going on at home. We know sometimes that is a hard choice to make, but you do have that right. If an abuse report is made it would likely lead to a child protective services investigation to determine what the best course of action is. Sometimes that simply involves talking things through and checking up later to see if things are improving. If things are deemed detrimental to your well being, you could be removed from the home, though this is not always the case. If you want to file an abuse report you can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. You can also file through us here at National Runaway Safeline. But again, whether you decide to file or not is up to you. We honor whatever decision you make and support you either way.

It is probably a good idea to seek out supportive people as much as possible. Your feelings have value and you have the right to be seen and heard. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with and trust, by all means take advantage of talking with them. Perhaps that's a relative, teacher, counselor, religious leader, or anyone you feel safe with. Friends can also support you, but getting an adult involved often may help give you perspective that your peers may lack. Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to talk. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a confidential, safe place to talk about whatever you are going through. We can help you figure out what your best options are and can connect you to resources in our database: shelters, counselors, legal aid, and more. Of course, even if you just need to vent, we are here to listen.

You also mention you've thought about running away. That's also a pretty big decision to face. We never tell anyone what to do, but you may want to consider things like where you would stay, how running away would affect your school, how your parents would react, and so on. Also know that if you leave home without permission before 18 your parents could file a runaway report on you. If you wanted to avoid any runaway reports you might consider just asking your parents if you could live elsewhere. If you have permission to live somewhere else that's safe and nourishing, that would be one way of getting out of the house while avoiding the ramifications of running away.

We'd like to help out further but need a little more information from you to see how to assist. The best way to do that would be if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon!

[Guest]

My best friend is struggling at home. Her mom divorced her ex stepdad about a year ago, and due to the coronavirus, they are back at his house. He verbally and possibly physically abused them. She’s been wanting to go home and he told her to do it and that he doesn’t want to see her. Could she stay at my house for a week until she actually goes home?

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us for your friend! They’re lucky to have you and we’re here for them as well. Please, tell them that they’re more than welcome to give us a call or chat with us on our website! We’re open 24/7 and we’re confidential.

It sounds like your friend is getting really overwhelmed at stressed at home. Abuse is never okay and they never deserve to be hurt in any way. We’re not legal experts but if your friend’s mom gives her permission to stay at your house, then that would be okay. If your best friend left without her mom’s permission, then it would be considered running away. She is always able to report any abuse that she’s going through and we are able to help her through that.

Again, thanks for reaching out to us for your friend. We are here to talk on the phone or chat on our website to go over the options and give any resources you two may need.

Thanks, NRS

[Guest]

hello. i am in an abusive situation where one of my parents is active duty in the military. I am writing because i am concerned that if i do leave, which would be to a family member keep in mind, that the military since i am under their jurisdiction that they will not permit me going with my family member and instead the military will be in custody of me. Please assist.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS and for sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like you are thinking about leaving home to get away from an abusive household. We want you to know that we are here to be a support for you as you take your next steps in this difficult situation.

We are not legal experts, so we can only speak generally on this. In most cases, when a minor leaves home without permission from parents, parents can report them as a runaway. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if you come into contact with law enforcement or if your parents know where you are staying, they can ask law enforcement to return you home.

Now, if you are looking for a way for custody to be removed from your parents and given to a family member, this is something that would usually go through child protective services. The first step is to make a report to your area's agency and then they would open an investigation. There are many different steps and interventions that CPS might take, but if they find that home is not safe for you then they may take custody away from your parents. When this happens it is common that CPS will first reach out to other family members to find you a safer place to live. You can speak with an advocate at an organization called Child Help who may have more expert knowledge on this to learn more about what the reporting process might look like in your circumstances, childhelp.org.

If you would like to speak with a lawyer about your concerns, we can connect you with a legal aid resource if you call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org. Please do not hesitate to reach out any time if you would like to talk more about your situation. We are here 24/7 to listen and help.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Information:

13 years old

Female

-

I've been having a lot of family problems such as a verbally abusive family and a mother that has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I've been hiving many severe issues since I was very young and I have no idea who to talk to. I'm thinking about asking my friend if I can stay with her but I'm 50% sure she might say no due to the coronavirus outbreak. If I ask for my family's approval to live with my friend can I stay with her. She's my age, she has a younger brother and two kind parents. I've been to her house before and I consider her as one of the top friends that I can trust with almost anything. I also wanna give my family a break from me because I can understand that having a child is a lot of work and it can be really hard for his or her family as well. I think it's better if me and my family separate completely. I'd love if I could still see them but once again I think that it's better if my family separates. By this I mean I would like if my parents get divorced and if I could get adopted in the area that I live in right now. I just want a family that can understand and help me with my past and emotions because in my eyes I strongly believe that my family doesn't know how to be like other families. Such as, being understanding and supportive. Being kind and reasonable. I'mjust looking for advice. Do you also think that it would be okay if I could talk to a teacher at school over email?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,

Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear things at home have been making you feel like you need to leave. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and comfortable.

Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and what you need to be different.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.