Running away to a friends house

[Guest]

Hey, one of my close friends has run away from a verbally abusive mother. Could she stay with me ?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It seems like your friend is going through a difficult time right now. It is great that you are there to support them.
We are not legal experts but we do have some information. If your friend were to stay with you without permission your parent’s could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. Usually that would consist of a fine they would need to pay or a misdemeanor. To find out what would happen for sure you can always call your local police and ask them.
We wish you the best of luck in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m a 12 years old and my girlfriend want to run away from home. I wanted to know if it was legal or not if my parents take her in

[ccsmod15]

That's a great question. If your girlfriend leaves home without permission her parents have the right to file a runaway report and anyone she stays with (in this case, your parents) could be accused of harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. So, there definitely could be some legal consequences.

We'd like to help your girlfriend out further but would need a bit more information about her situation to see how we might be able to assist. The best way for us to do that is if she (or you) can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via our website, www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 and are confidential and nonjudgmental. Hope that info helps! Please stay safe and we hope to hear from you or her soon!

NRS

[Guest]

So I this is a big decision but, I kinda want to run away...but not forever... so me and my parents argue sometimes about me making mistakes and i wanted to leave before but then I stayed since nothing bad happened, but then it happened again...i made a mistake and lied about something, and one of my parents tried to hurt me, so I told my friends and they said that I should leave, but I don't know what to do.. so what should I do?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. You know better than anyone what the best choice for you is and for some young people that can be to get some space from the stress at home. Everyone makes mistakes and it is normal. But it is not okay that your parents make you feel scared to talk about your mistakes and that they tried to harm you.

Having a safe space to talk about your situation at home can often be a healthy outlet to process the tough feelings and to brainstorm some options you had not thought of previously. This could be in the form of a friend or family member who might also be able to give you a safe place to stay or a counselor at school. This person can also be an advocate for you and help you communicate your needs to your parents. If you are not quite ready to talk to some one in person, you can contact an organization called Child Help which advocates for young people and can explore options with you. One of these options can be to report that incident of you parent harming you to get a social worker involved to help. If you would like to learn more about this and talk more about what you would like to see happen, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org.

We are here 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. We truly want to be a support for you as you take your next steps in this challenging situation. If you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and your possible options, please do no hesitate to call at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

We wish you the best,
NRS

[Guest]

i live in michigan and i am 14 if i run away to a friends house and i get caught by the police will my friend and her family get in trouble??

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. There is a thing called harboring a runaway which usually is a misdemeanor or a fine. So yes it is possible that your friend’s family could get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
We hope that this answered your question. If you have any more questions or would like to talk more about your situation please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

hi i’m 14 years old and i am being treated very poorly by my parents they took all of my hygiene facial care and other stuff because i was being a bit too “unappreciative” they always yell at me and call me a disappointment and make me feel unloved i had a plan to run away to my best friends house but then i did more research and found out that there are a lot of legal issues and i don’t want to get her parents into trouble and i don’t wanna file a police report or anything but i can’t live with them for 4 more years i am considering self harm and i am currently locking myself in my bathroom plz answer soon thx

[ccsmod2]

Hi, thanks for reaching out to NRS.
It sound like you’re in a really frustrating situation. You mentioned that your parents have taken away some of your skincare products and things as a form of punishment for acting too unappreciative (as you shared) and yelling a lot at you. That can definitely make home feel unsupportive, which is the opposite of what you’d hope it would be – it’s supposed to be a place where you can relax and be supported for who are you.
It sounds like this is something you’ve been thinking of for a while – you mentioned that you’ve done some research, and know that running away without your parents’ permission to another adult’s home can leave the door open for more serious legal consequences for the adults – such as harboring a runaway minor. It’s good that you’re doing your research – it means that you’re planning ahead and not making decisions on impulse, which also can help to keep you safer (and that’s important to us).
Perhaps there are some alternatives you can consider. For example – perhaps there is another family relative (a grandparent, an older sibling, an aunt or uncle) who you can stay with for a bit to take a mental break from the unsupportive environment you currently have at home. Or, maybe even exploring ways to get out of the house /limit your time at home (via extracurricular activities at school, staying a weekend at friends’ houses, and so on) can help you get a break from home. Or, you could even explore if emancipation could be an option for you – emancipation laws vary from state to state and can be time-consuming /expensive, but there are cases where it can makes sense. Even finding ways to limit time spent in your parents’ direct company (such as locking the door on the bathroom /bedroom) can be productive if it helps you get that mental and emotional relief you need.
You might also want to consider counseling – either for your family, if you think your parents would be open to it – or even just for your own good, so that you can have an advocate in your corner. We are concerned that you mentioned cutting and self harm; not only for your safety but also because it sounds like you are under a lot of pressure, and we want to help connect you to people who can help you find other avenues to release that tension. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at 1-800-950-NAMI (or texting NAMI to 741741) cans a hotline that can help you talk through options other than cutting that won’t harm you – as mentioned earlier, your safety is our top priority, even from yourself.
If communication is an issue with your parents and you think it would be helpful to have a neutral 3rd party present in a conversation to help keep things on track and make sure your side gets heard, we do offer a conference call service with youth and parents to talk through your issues and brainstorm solutions that would work for all – for that, you’d need to initiate a call to 1-800-RUNAWAY, talk to us to explain the situation and request a 3-way conference call with your parent(s) to discuss what’s going on, as it sounds like reporting for emotional/verbal abuse is not an avenue you want to pursue.
If none of these options work out and you do feel like you need to leave still, we can help you to find emergency shelter or somewhere safe to go –simply reach out to us by phone as mentioned above, or via our online chat room at www.1800RUNAWAY.org.
We hope this information has been helpful to you. If you’d like to talk through any of these options further, please don’t hesitate to contact us at any time of day, we’re here at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Best of luck to you, and we hope to hear from you soon!

[Guest]

I'm 15 and having extreme urges to run away after my grandma dies she only one keeping me here. If I run away will I face legal trouble? Will my parents? I live Indiana and plan on skipping town

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write us here at NRS. We are truly sorry to hear about the passing of your grandma. It is incredibly difficult to cope with grief and the loss of such an important person in your life. Running away can be a really big decision to make and can bring on a lot of challenging situations. Some things to take into consideration before you leave are how long you are planning on being away for, do you still want to go to school, do you have a safe place to stay, and how will you provide the basic necessities for yourself like food. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense. This means that your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. While you would not be arrested, the police would likely return you home.

Your safety is very important and you deserve to be getting the support you need during this difficult time. It can be helpful to think about what needs to change at home for you to feel better and what are some ways you can work toward those goals. You do not need to go about this alone. You can reach out to friends, family members, or a counselor at school to build your support system, so that you feel like you have people to confide in and lean on when you need some help. If you are not quite ready to talk to people in your life, that is okay. You can text "connect" to 741741 to talk with a crisis counselor about your urges and the hard feelings you are having. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of.

We truly want to be a support for you as you navigate this challenging time in your life. We want to talk more with you about what's been going on in-depth so that we can better support you and discover your possible options. You can reach out anytime by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat at 1-800-786-2929.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 16 and live in the uk , if I wanted to go stay at my boyfriends supported living flat and Is safe and well without being gave permission by my careers then would the police make me go back home or would they let me stay as I’m 16 and is in a safe environment?

[ccsmod15]

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/. In the UK you may also find a youth crisis hotline that fits your needs and questions through this website: https://www.youthaccess.org.uk/supernav/links. You might also consider just calling your local police non-emergency line and asking them your question.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

im trying to run away are there any tips to run away and are their any thing i should keep in mind and im 12 about to be 13

[ccsmod16]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us- we’re glad that you did. You mentioned running away, which is a really big decision.

We’re not legal experts, but if you decide run away and your parents report you as a runaway to police, that gives police the right to bring you home. Running away is a statutory offense, not a crime, so you would not be charged with anything or taken to jail. However, there could be potential legal consequences for any adults (18+ years old) who you stay with for what’s called “harboring a runaway”.

Some things to think about might be how your parents would react, where you would go, and how you would stay safe. The most important priority is staying safe, and making sure you have a plan to take care of your basic needs (food, water, medical care). We hear from many youth who find themselves in really scary situations because they ran out of money or had to live on the street.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

hi I wanna runaway to my boyfriends house bc I got caught vaping and its bad at home am I allowed to do that?

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear things at home have been making you feel like you need to leave. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and comfortable.

Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and what you need to be different.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

Hi. I have a friend who has been abused and is in a very rough spot at home with both her parents as well as her sister. She is 19 years old and will be 20 this year. Her father, whom she has a restraining order against by the police temporarily, has beaten her and abused her physically and verbally. He has been taken to jail but bailed out by the mother who defends him, (possibly out of fear) and blames the daughter for all the family trouble. The family had gone as far as forcing her to stay home from school where she has an apartment with her terrible sister and she has already missed a week of classes (midterms week on top of that). We live in Connecticut. I advised her to leave right away to our bestfriends house where they would very much welcome her and on Sunday she go up to the school campus and return to classes while living with our other very close friends in the dorm so she can avoid her sister at their apartment. Spring break is a week from now so she would return to the bestfriends house and essentially live there for the week then return to school. Now i also advised her to leave her house quietly and just leave a note or text to her family that she will be staying with a friend and is safe so that police won’t find the need to track and bring her home especially if she is 19 going on 20 years old. Is there any legal problem or other stuff we should think of before having her leave to our friends house?

[ccsmod3]

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your friends only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws. As a legal adult, your friend has a right to make her own decisions about where she lives. We can help her make a plan for how to deal with her situation and help her find resources to land on her feet. Having a plan for where she will live and how she will survive once she moves out can be very helpful.
Moving can be a huge step, and she doesn't have to feel alone. Some steps she can take towards independence might be to find employment if she doesn't have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in her area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing she might want to consider is what kinds of things she depends on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after she leaves. There may be social service agencies in her area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.Take care.

[Guest]

Hey my friend is 17 this month and her home life is horrible I want to help by letting her stay with me (1 but will my mother get in trouble saying it's her house? I live in nothern ireland I would greatly appreciate a response

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

[Guest]

I have a friend who is 18 and wants to come stay with me until she graduates because her parents hurt her. I want to know if her parents have a right to come get her from my house or if my family would get i trouble for letting her stay

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your friend is in a situation where her parents are a danger to her safety, but it is great that she has friends like you whom she can rely on for support. If you live in a state where 18 is the age of majority (all states except AL-19, MS-21, and NE-19), then your friend’s parents cannot make her go home or get you in any legal trouble for sheltering her. If you have any other questions or if you would like to talk more about what is going on, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 15, I live in Texas and I wanna run away from my house and go stay with my boyfriend. I do have 2 optional places for me to stay. One option is staying with my parents but my parents constantly ground me, which isolates me from doing anything. They also make comments about me that make me very insecure, they always get mad at me for the simplest things, which makes me overthink a lot and I just get the feeling that they hate me and wish they weren't my parents. The second place I could live is at my grandma's house, which I do like more than my parent's house but I hate going there for one reason. There is this old guy who stays there and he likes to drink a lot. Just recently I was at my grandma's house and he was there, drinking as usual and later on he decided to come into the house and sexually touch me infront of my grandma and I just hated it. I started bawling my eyes out and I couldn't stop until I had told my boyfriend about it and he had comforted me and made me feel better and just reassured me that everything was gonna be okay. But I know if i go back over to my grandma's then it might happen again. This has been a reoccurring thing since when i was much younger, when I was almost raped by the same guy. Once I got older he would occasionally look at me sexually but never did anything until recently and what makes it worse is that i've tried telling people about it but they just don't believe that he would do that. So with all that being said, I would really really like to live with my boyfriend because he and his family treat me 100 times better than my own and I think I would be much happier and safer there.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now.Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

We are so sorry to hear that you have experienced sexual violence. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and you deserve to be believed and supported. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support and resources that you may find helpful. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best. We hope to hear from you soon.

[Guest]

Hey I am 16 and want to go to my friends house for a couple of days. My stepdad is verbally abusive and my friend and her mom want to take me out of the house for a couple of days. But my parents wont let them. If I leave with them after my parents say no will that get me into legal trouble? I don't want to get me or her and her family into trouble. What would happen if I did leave?

[ccsmod4]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
As of right now you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.
It also sounds like you have run away before and have some concerns about what might happen if you are picked up by the police.

While we are not experts on the law, someone under 18 that leaves home, the parent/guardian may file them as a runaway and they may be returned home. Also, those that a reported runaway stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. Anyone found to be assisting or aiding someone to run away may also find themselves at risk legally. For more specifics on the law, you might consider contacting the local non-emergency number for the police. You might also look for a legal aid center in the area. They may be able to answer any legal questions on the subject.


We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi. I am 12 years old living in Orlando, FL and I have been having a lot of problem recently with my parents and I feel overwhelmed and I just need a break. My friend has told me she will let me stay at her house for a little while if I wanted to, and I said maybe. It would be temporary, and I would go back home after less than 3 weeks. Would it get me, her, or her parents into trouble if I did this?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
We are sorry that you have been having a lot of problems with your parents lately and have been feeling overwhelmed. We are not legal experts but we do have some information on what could happen. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home, Also whoever you were to stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway. One option to consider is asking your parents if you can stay with a friend or family member for a little bit so you both can have a break.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
NRS