My friend wants to run away to me

[Guest]

Hi, I’m really concerned right now. My friend says she wants to run away because her parents are controlling and don’t show her affection. She says she feels like she is being used for their gain. She said she feels that her parents control everything she does from the way she acts to how she dresses, the way she eats. I’m not sure if they are just giving advice on how to be proper or if it’s something more. I’m anxious, I want to help but I think she is 100% convinced to do this. She says she’s more than 100% sure she is going to run away. She even has a whole plan! What should I do? I’m trying to explain that life on the street can get really bad for a teen girl but I don’t know, this just happened she said she’d be right back, what should I say??

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help her as she mentioned wanting to run away. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for her

Your friend's safety is very important. It could be helpful to brainstorm with her safe places she can go and trusted adults she can reach out to for help. Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. You can pass along our contact information to your friend if she wants to talk more about her options and ways she can stay safe. We are here to listen and help as much as possible.

We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you or your friend would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

my friend is a 14 year old girl and she been preparing on running away and she's ask me to run with her and i need help what to know to help her so she would not run away.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS, that seems like a scary situation to be asked by a friend to run away with them. It seems like they have a lot going on and are hoping to get away from a tough situation but wants your help and company. It seems like you are worried about the situation and want them to stay safe rather than take a risk like that. It is understandable to be worried about their and your own safety through all this and want to keep them safe at home like that.

It seems like your friend trusts you a lot and is hoping for your help. You may want to find out more about what is going on that makes them feel they need to run away so that you can try and help them the best. Then you can try and give them the help that best suits them. If you need help with what resources or people can help you can either call us with more information, or give them our information as well so we can help them through this difficult time.

If they seemed determined and unwilling to listen we can also try and find them a safe place to go. Friends, and other family member’s houses are an option if you can get permission to stay with them. If you or your friend leaves without permission police would probably be notified and they could try to force you both back home. There are also shelter resources in our database we can look for. There is also https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/ if they need a safe place as well.

Hopefully these options are helpful for you. If you have more questions please don’t hesitate to reach out to our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our chat service at 1800runaway.org

[Guest]

So my friend is 14 and I’m 15 and she wants to run away to my house for at least a few days.we only live 30 minutes away from each other and she would still be going to school and me and my family would take care of her; could me or my family get in trouble for this?

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It’s great that your friend is able to count on you for support and that you and your family are so willing to help her.

While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is our understanding that there is some legal risk for sheltering your friend. If her parents file a runaway report with the police, they might have the option to press charges against your parents for what is called “harboring a runaway.” Again, we are not legal experts, but this is typically considered a misdemeanor offense and can be very difficult to pursue. In most cases, a runaway situation will simply result in the youth being returned home by the police. However, the risk of harboring charges, despite being low, is still present.

A good idea for finding out exactly how those charges might work would be having your parents reach out to the police. They can ask the police, from the perspective of your friend’s parents, “my 14 year old is talking about running away. If they go to their friend’s house, how do I press charges against their friend.” The police would be able to tell your parents exactly what that process would be and what they would stand to risk.

If you want to talk more about what’s going on or what options your friend might have, please don’t hesitate to reach out, or to have her reach out, to us over the phone at 1-800-786-2929 or over chat at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, I would like to try and disappear I'm 14 almost 15 and am getting bullied and other amounts of things its been 3months that I have wanted to leave but never knew how. Is there any way to run away without a trace?

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, we understand it can be a difficult step for some and we appreciate you sharing a bit of what’s going on. We hope to help as best we can. Leaving home without a trace would be a bit of a difficult task. Although we may not advocate for leaving home, we understand sometimes home is not the safest place and youth feel the need to leave for their own safety and well-being.
By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

Stay Strong,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi I planing on running away from home and have no where to stay as of right now and I don’t wanna get the authorities involved because I’m afraid they’ll take my little brother away from my parents because they don’t physically or mentally hurt him in any way i really need help

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are planning on running away and are needing a place to stay but are also not wanting authorities involved. We can help you with looking for shelters if you are interested, but want you to know that shelters generally require parent/guardian permission for someone to stay in a shelter. It sounds like you are concerned about what could happen to your little brother as he is not being physical or mentally hurt but it seems like you are. It seems like you really care about your little brother and that’s honorable, but you are important as well as we care about your safety. If you would like to talk more about what’s going on or possible options, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey my friend is 13 turning 14 soon his mental health is at stake his parents threw away all of his feminine clothes he paid for himself and this isn’t the first time. He’s followed all there rules and they still do this. He’s really thinking about running away sometimes. He just wants to be himself. His parents love him but they don’t accept him when it comes to being a fem boy ik we are young and it sounds silly. But to him this is serious. It’s really messing with him. He’s attempted it already but he didn’t manage it (he wasn’t caught). I don’t know what to do. I doubt he will but it’s still a chance if he runs away to my house and my parents are unaware what would happen would we be charged what should I do?

[ccsmod11]

(If you or your friend are in danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
Thank you so much for reaching out to us and for being an advocate for your friend. We are so, so sorry to hear what he is going through and that he doesn't feel like he can be his full self at home. We are proud of you for being a good friend and for wanting to help him.

First off, it sounds like your friend might be considering suicide. We understand this is really serious and can be so overwhelming to have to deal with. We're here to help. If your friend is comfortable, we would encourage you to have him reach out to us for help talking through a difficult situation. If things get really bad and you feel he needs immediate intervention, you can reach out to the 988 Suicide Lifeline or local police for help.

Here's what you need to know if your friend decides to run away to your house:

If he chooses to leave home without his parents' permission, his parents could file a police report which means police will find him and bring him home. He won't get in any trouble with the police and running away isn't illegal. However, anyone over the age of 18 in your home COULD be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal charge. However this is different depending on state and situation and it is just a possibility. If you reach out to us we're happy to find what this law looks like in your state and even reach out to police with you to check what they might do. The way to for sure prevent these charges is to call the police within 24 hours of his arrival at your house to let them know he is safe with you.

We are happy to answer any other questions you have and talk you through how else you could help. You or your friend can reach out to us 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We hope to hear from you soon, best of luck! Thanks again for being a great friend.
-NRS Crisis Team