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  • 17 year old run away to different state

    Hey I am 16 and I live in NC with my mom and my girlfriend just turned 17 and she lives in Illinois with her aunt who has temporary custody and all her aunt does is make her depressed and jerks her around and makes her miserable and now my girlfriend want to run away and come live with me at my moms house for a year until she is 18 and then go get her GED and all of that but if she is caught staying at my moms house before she is 18 can me or my mom get charged with anything? even though her stepmom lives like 20 min from me and her dad lives in South Carolina and her mom lives 45 min away from me but her mom beats her and if she notifies her dad that she is staying with me could she get in trouble or could me or anybody get in trouble? Like I just want to know what all could happen? What the best thing we could all do for us not to be in trouble but for her to stay with us

  • #2
    It's great that you have contacted us and that you're trying to find resources to help your girlfriend out. It sounds like she is in a really difficult situation right now and it's great that she has someone so supportive of her. We are sorry to hear that she is feeling depressed because of her aunt and that her aunt makes her feel miserable. Can you tell us more about this? It also sounds like she has family that lives in NC but you mentioned that her mom beats her. We are sorry to hear that she has been through so much and hopefully we can help her find a safe place to go.

    Unfortunately, here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are not legally trained so we can't say for sure what would happen if she were to leave her aunt's house but we can try to give you some general ideas of what may happen. It is our understanding that if a youth leaves without a guardian's permission, their guardian may have the option to file a runaway report with the local police department. After a report is filed, it usually goes into the NCIC (National Crime Information Center) and all police departments would be able to see it; so, if she leaves from IL and is stopped by the police on the way to NC, they may see that she has been listed as a runaway and may call her aunt back in IL to let her know where she is. You said that her dad and stepmom both live close by to where she is trying to get to; has she talked with either of them about what's going on in IL? They may be able to help her out with finding some resources or coming up with a safety plan.

    You asked a lot of really great questions about what could possibly happen if your girlfriend comes to stay with you and your family. It's great that your family is trying to help her out but unfortunately, we can't say for sure what would happen. Again, generally speaking, your parents could possibly get into trouble for harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor if the police find her at your house. Unfortunately, we can't say for sure what would happen if this were to happen because the laws about these two things vary greatly from state to state. One place that may be able to give you some definite answers could be the local police department in NC; if you aren't comfortable calling them on your own, we can definitely help you out and make a call with you but we would need for you or her to give us a call here.

    Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are a confidential and anonymous hotline for youth in crisis or their friends and families. We can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our online chat services from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week and those can be found on our website (www.1800runaway.org).

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck!

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 17 year old run away to different state

      Well her dad wants her down here as well but since my parents could get in trouble for harboring a runaway could she stay with her dad in SC seeming that is her parent but her aunt treats her like dirt and tells her she hates her and treats her kids better than her and her little 13 year old sister and I just want to do anything and every thing I can to help her out and see her happy

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you for getting back in touch with us and giving us more information about what's going on with your girlfriend. You said that you want to do everything you can to help her and it's great that you are so supportive of her. We are sorry to hear that her aunt treats her so poorly; nobody deserves to feel unsafe or to hear someone say negative things towards them.

        Unfortunately, since we aren't legally trained, we can't say for sure if she would be able to stay with her dad. You mentioned that her aunt is her legal guardian which means that she is responsible for her. If she were to stay with her dad and dad doesn't have any guardianship or custodial rights then he could get into trouble as well. Do you know why her aunt has guardianship of her? One thing that her dad may be able to do is try to get custody or guardianship back from her. If this is something he is interested in, we can try to help him locate some legal aid resources that may be able to help him out. We can also try to help your girlfriend try to find some that will be able to explain what her legal rights and options are.

        Again, we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our live chat services from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week through our website.

        We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck!

        ~NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I’m turning 17 in a month and I wanna runaway to another state my mom doesn’t care about me all she does is call me fat and says that she wants to slap me and my dad always says that we can leave the house if we dont like the way they treat us so can I just leave then? would any police try and find me if they actually would call the cops? Even tho I’m leaving to another state.

          Comment


          • #6
            Reply: I’m turning 17 in a month

            Hello,
            Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.
            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It is unfortunate that your parents choose to treat you unfairly by calling you names etc. You don’t deserve that and it is not your fault that they are doing this.

            18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so

            we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

            NRS is here to listen and here to help.
            We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            Take Care,
            NRS

            We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm 17 I turned 17 in October and I live in New Mexico I'm wondering if my parents can force me to go back home if I run away they don't supply much at all and I have a safe place to go.

              Comment


              • ccsmod3
                ccsmod3 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there,
                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
                While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
                We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                Be safe,
                NRS

            • #8
              Hi I’m a 17 year old girl who’s live in Iowa with my mom and brothers. I have asked my mom multiple times to let me move back to California in May with my dad and older sister and she had agreed but then disagreed when I asked her again. I’m still planning to go with or without her consent I just don’t want my dad and sister to get in trouble or charged. Can my dad get in trouble even though we’ll be like 6 states away.

              Comment


              • ccsmod1
                ccsmod1 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be frustrating to have your mom flip flop like that. It sounds like you're in a sticky situation since there may be custody agreements at play. It may be beneficial to speak with your dad directly about your desire to live with him and your sister in California. Sometimes custody transfers will need to go through the family court system and it may be beneficial to speak with a legal advocate. If you need help locating a legal aid group near you you can check out https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

                If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                Stay safe,
                NRS

            • #9
              Hi, is there any free legal sources I can call to talk about this with. I’m a girl and I’m 17 as of two months ago and I live in New Mexico. I plan on leaving to live with a guy I know in California. He’s been there for me through everything. My parents won’t let me get a job that pays me enough to do anything and they aren’t letting me get my GED (I essentially dropped out because I’m not learning anything online and I’m struggling.) my mom is also incredibly manipulative. My brothers were treated as adult at my age but my mom still treats me like a child. She is also very manipulative about what I wear and I get incredibly self conscious because of the things she says. She’s made home life very difficult and I cannot handle it. I want to leave and become an adult but I can’t get emancipated with the restrictions on what job I can have. I was thinking I would save enough to take my things with me and fly to California to live with my friend but I need to know if the police will drag me home. (I was planning to leave at 18 anyway.) so I was wondering if there was any free legal advice place I could call. If my parents know where I am and I’m not in danger there isn’t much they can do right?

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like it has been a trying time for you with your parent's rules and struggling with online school. It's understandable that you are needing something to change. Here at NRS, we truly want to be a support for you during this difficult time.

                We are not legal experts, but we can answer your question generally. It is possible that a runaway report can be filed for you by your parents if you leave home without their permission before you turn 18. Generally speaking, if you are found as a runaway, you generally would be returned home, even if it is states away. Running away is not illegal, but the legal adult who knowingly shelters you as a runaway could be at risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. So if the guy you are wanting to return to is 18 or older, he is the one who risks getting into legal trouble. You might reach out to local police to see how they typically respond to 17 year old runaway situations in case they have differing protocols.

                Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through your situation. We are always here for you.

                1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org

                Best,

                NRS
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