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Im 16 and want to move out and live with my boyfriend but my parents are super strict

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  • #16
    hey I’m 17 and I want to move with my boyfriend who is about to be 19, my parents moved states a couple of months ago and I stayed living with my sister. But after the 2 months I’ve been here they said they no longer wanted me here and are sending me to my parents. I don’t want to leave I truly see myself marrying my boyfriend we’ve been dating for over a year now and next year I’ll be 18 I want to move in with him but my parents don’t understand they’re forcing me to leave what can I do or what do you think I should do ..

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    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5
      Super Moderator
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi,
      Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a stressful situation. It must be very frustrating to have your parents change their mind about having you stay there. Unfortunately, your parents do have the right to ask you to return home until you are 18. One option to consider is having a conversation with your parents about why you want to stay. If you need help having that conversation, you’re welcome to give us a call as we offer conflict mediation here. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and we’re here 27/4. We hope to hear from you.
      NRS

  • #17
    Hi, I'm in a similar situation. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and I recently moved in with him. I was living with my mom before but my father has full physical custody of me. He lives about 200 miles away and doesn't even know what's going on in my life, yet he still called the cops on me (While he was 200 miles away) and told the police officer to take me home. My father sent me to my mothers before I lived with my boyfriend because I had an attitude problem. What do I do? How can I get emancipated? Where do I go to get the paperwork? Can I go to the courthouse? Can he legally do anything he wants when he isn't even taking care of me?

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    • #18

      Hello,

      It seems like you are looking for some answers to your questions about moving out when your 16 to live with your current boyfriend. Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. Since you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states), what generally happens; your parents or legal guardian would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home.

      Your parents may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your current boyfriend), but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again while 16 years old. If you were to leave home and live with your current boyfriend, think about what your parent’s might do in that situation. Either give you permission or file a runaway report. Another thing to think about is how long do you think that you would be able to stay with your current boyfriend and his family? Have you thought about some situations where you might be faced with having to leave (i.e break-up, parents decided that can’t support you, have a fight, etc.)?

      If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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      • #19
        Hi ! I’m 16 years old and ive been wanting to live with my boyfriend, why ? Because my mom has even said it before “ since You’re always with him might as well move in with him” . I had asked her why was she saying that , she had told me that it was out of anger but I’ve been thinking I actually do want to move in with him . I asked her again about it and I told her I wanted to move in she was fine with it and told me that she wanted to talk to his parents . My mother isn’t strict but actually an out going mom who just cares . I have been planning on what I’m going to do if I do get to move in with my bf like for example I work near where he stays at , I also have to walk to school and it’s not far from his place but I know if I move in I need to help around the house to show that I actually wanted to be there and not seem like I’m a lazy person but what’s holding me back from wanting to move in is that my aunts and uncles from my moms side won’t agree with it and will get mad at my mom but mostly at me because I’m still young but me and my mom stay at the same apt my boyfriend stays in but the things is that we are moving in twos days and I got so used to being in these apt that I’m not ready to move from them .

        Comment


        • ccsmod9
          ccsmod9
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod9 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out us here at NRS. We know it can be a difficult and stressful situation you find yourself in. What’s more is that we hope to provide you with tips and resources to help you make a more informed decision on your situation.
          Though we are not legal experts from what we gather about your story is that you because you are 16 you are still considered a minor and that gives your parents the right to call the police and file a runaway report. This in turn allows the police to pick you up if they or your parents know where you are. In terms of the people housing you it is possible they might face charges of Harboring a Minor and those consequences differ in every state. Keep in mind that is ONLY your mom who can do that no one else. If she has full custody of you, you are in your rights to do as she gives permission. In addition to possibly finding a way to move with your boyfriend, a viable way is to ask your mom. If she really is okay with you living elsewhere then what you can do is call the police for documents so that she can sign that she is letting you live with other people so that all becomes legal and you don’t have to be worried about anything.
          Again we want to commend you on your bravery for reaching out to us and seeking help. We know that it takes a lot in order to do that. We hope that we have helped you in a way that positions you to make the best choice for yourself. Of for any reason you have more concerns or questions please do not hesitate to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online through our chat option at (www.1800runaway.org).
          Best Wishes - NRS

      • #20
        So I’m not actually the one doing the running away here, but I’m 17m and my girlfriend 16f wants to move in with me. We live in Ohio, and I understand there’s some tricky laws regarding emancipation here, which is what we originally planned on. I’m graduating high school this year, and plan to start renting an apartment or house or something with my a couple of friends (that are legally adults). By the time she would be moving in with me, we’d both be 17. I just want to make sure that she’d be able to move in with me without creating legal trouble. To my understanding, Me or my friends could be charged with Harboring a minor, but charges could be dropped if we could prove that it was for her health and safety. But what happens after that? Would she be able to keep living with me or would she have to go back home, or what? To be fair, there is legitimate reason for her to move out. Her mother is awful, bordering mental abuse, and when she’s home she’s constantly sick, making me think there’s black mold or something in the house. I know you guys don’t really tell people what they should or shouldn’t do, but what are my legal options, with the goal in mind of the two of us living together?

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        • ccsmod2
          ccsmod2
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod2 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It seems like your girlfriend is dealing with a difficult situation here. Here at NRS, we are not legal experts and only aware of potential legal risks base on resources we use. At a17, your girlfriend is still considered a minor in Ohio. Because of this, living with adults will put the adults at risk of being charged with harboring a minor, only if a runaway report has been filed and your girlfriend’s parent chooses pursue this charge. It is not something that happens immediately once pursued. If there is abuse going on in the home, your girlfriend does have the option to report that abuse. Feel free to give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY, if you would like to discuss what that might look like further. If your girlfriend reports abuse, however, and decides to leave, sometimes if the youth has a place to stay the likelihood of being put in foster care, for example, is not very likely. Especially since she is 17. Again, we are not legal experts and it may be best to contact legal services or hotlines. We also can provide some resources for legal information regarding filing abuse or considering filing abuse if you’d like to give us a call. Hopefully this information was beneficial. As always, we’re here to assist so feel free to give us a call at our 24/7 hotline or chat with us live by visiting 1088runaway.org.

      • #21
        Hey I am a 16 who’s is pregnant with my 16 year old boyfriend and I would like to move in with him but my dad doesn’t let me he says until I’m 18 but we really wanna move In together to raise our baby girl together what is the best thing I should do?

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        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It’s great to hear that you care so much about your daughter and her well-being.

          We aren’t legal experts here at NRS but generally speaking you cannot move out on your own without your dad/guardian’s permission until you are a legal adult (18 in most states). If you do opt to leave your home your dad can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a report has been filed and you are located by the authorities, you will most likely be brought back home.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          All the best,
          NRS

      • #22
        hi ,
        im 16 and i want to move in with my boyfriend and my mother does not want to let me go and my father left before i was born so hewont be of any help .
        we live in namiba in africa . i live in swakopmund , namibia and my boy friend lives in walvis bay , namibia . the distance form my place to his ia 30 km .
        i am still in school online schooling and he is in th ebest intrest om me and i need help please <3

        Comment


        • ccsmod0
          ccsmod0
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod0 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
          We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      • #23
        I'm 16 and i want to move in with my boyfriend but he lives in a apartment, can i still move in with him. He is also 21

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        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. It’s great to hear that your boyfriend supports you. If you go to stay at his house without prior permission from your parents, he could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor. Penalties for harboring a runaway vary from state to state, police officer to officer, and how your parents view the situation. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          All the best,
          NRS

      • #24
        im 16 and my boyfriend is 18 , my parents are okay with me moving in with him . But they want a paper with a legal grandship to him?

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. Your parents might be talking about transferring their legal guardianship of you to your boyfriend. This would give him power of attorney over you and authority over you as if he were your parent. In this situation, it would actually give him more authority over you than your parents. That kind of exchange of power over your independence and freedom can easily be abused and you may want to consider the lasting legal consequences such an action might have. In order to begin that process, it would probably be best to go to contact your county’s juvenile court. If your parents are on board with you living away from home and do not want to be responsible for your guardianship, it would probably be a good idea to consider getting yourself emancipated. While emancipation can take a very long time, if you have parental permission it is usually not.

          While we are not legal experts, we would be happy to refer you to a legal resource that could answer any questions about the specifics in your state of either of these options. If you are interested in those resources or talking in greater detail about what your situation is, please don’t hesitate to reach out on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or on chat at 1800runaway.org.

      • #25
        Hi I’m 14 almost 15 on July 30 and my girlfriend got raped and she is 13 and she doesn’t think her family will support her so would it possible for her to move in with me and my family

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you care about your girlfriend a lot and no one should have to go through what she did. It can be really hard to deal with this alone and sometimes it’s helpful to reach out to additional agencies for support. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). She can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support, and resources that she may find helpful.

          We aren't legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if she does leave home her parents can file a runaway report. Running away is considered a status offense meaning that it isn't illegal but it's something that can't be done by a minor. If your girlfriend leaves home and is located by the police they will most likely make her return home. Of course, it may be beneficial if your girlfriend were to contact us directly to go over the situation in depth and discuss other options that may be available. We can be reached by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or via our online chat option.

          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #26
        I am turning 16 in four days I already live on my own I stay at a friends house all my school stuff clothes supplies I have to get myself my mom don’t have custody of me my dad does I haven’t lived with my dad in two years when I left him he told me he didn’t want to deal with me anymore anyway I left because I was tired of both the physical and emotional abuse I want to be emancipated and live Texas would I be able to move to Texas get emancipated there or would I have to wait till I’m emancipated

        Comment


        • ccsmod1
          ccsmod1
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod1 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like living with your dad was really scary and we're relieved to hear that you are OK. You resilience and self-reliance at such a young age is very admirable and you should be proud of yourself. We’re not legal experts here at NRS, so we can’t give you any legal advice regarding emancipation. Emancipation is an option in the state of Texas but there are certain rules and qualifications about who can and cannot be emancipated. We have the following on file about emancipation in Texas but please take note that it may not be the most updated:
          (a) A minor may petition to have the disabilities of minority removed for limited or general purposes if the minor is:
          (1) a resident of this state;
          (2) 17 years of age, or at least 16 years of age and living separate and apart from the minor's parents, managing conservator, or guardian; and
          (3) Self-supporting and managing the minor's own financial affairs.
          (b) A minor may file suit under this chapter in the minor's own name.

          Emancipation can often be a lengthy and expensive process. It may be a good idea to work with a legal aid group (they offer low cost or free legal services) for assistance through this process. You can find a legal aid group near you by going to https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

          If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

          Stay safe,
          NRS

      • #27
        im 13, my mam drinks all the time and my dad doesn't want me to live with hi. I have a boyfriend and a nana I an live with but im not allowed is there any ideas on how to mover here

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        • ccsmod15
          ccsmod15
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod15 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation at home and you are looking for an alternative living situation. It seems like your dad is unwilling to take you in and your mom would not let you live with your nana, but you want to live with your nana.

          You said you were 13, which means that you are a minor. That means there are only certain ways for you to legally be able to live elsewhere. Getting your guardian/parent to allow you to live elsewhere is an option. You had said that you are not allowed to leave, so this could be difficult. If you would like help facilitating this conversation between you and your parent, you could always call our hotline and we would be able to help facilitate a conversation between you and your parents. Another option would be to contact Child Protective Services and be removed from the home. You said your mom drinks a lot, and there is a possibility this could be considered abuse or neglect. This is usually not the first step in CPS investigation, but this is a possibility.

          Either of these are possible options. If neither sounds realistic, just leaving is also a possibility. It’s really important to think before making this decision. Writing this means you are trying to get helpful information. Since you are 13, you are considered a minor, and your parents could make a runaway report. Running away is not a crime, but the police’s top priority is reuniting you with your parents. If you were staying with your boyfriend or nana, there is a possibility that they could be charged with harboring a runaway.

          We are here to listen and help you figure out all the options you have. If you want to talk to someone more in depth about any of this, feel free to call our hotline 24/7 or chat with us. We are completely confidential and here to support you in any way we can.

          -NRS

      • #28
        i will turn 16 in june of 2020 and i have extremely strict parents who threaten to hit me and drink daily, i have tried leaving but the cops deamed that i was not old enough and could get sent to juvy, what should i do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod13
          ccsmod13
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod13 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. From what you shared, your parents are making home a dangerous place to live. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported.

          Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

          The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to friends and family members you might be able to stay with. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

          You do have the option to report the situation at home to child protective services. Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unhealthy situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelphotline.org to talk more about what the reporting process would look like for you.

          We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

      • #29
        I am 16 and I want to move in with my boyfriend but I cant bc of my parents

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        • ccsmod16
          ccsmod16
          Super Moderator
          ccsmod16 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi,
          thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you want to move in with your boyfriend but you are 16 and your parents won't let you.
          Part of the problem is that until you are the age of majority in your state, they are legally responsible for you. They really can't allow you to go at 16 unless they go to court and give up their parental rights. It's very complicated.
          If you want to talk more about this, please reach out via live chat through this website or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, 24/7
          We hope to hear from you soon.
          NRS
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