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  • 16 Year Old in washington

    I'm 16 years old and living in Washington state. I want to move out and have a place to stay with a teacher from my school ( we are a very small high school, only 60 kids ). Recently I haven't been getting along with my mom very well. We have a good relationship, but in the past year its not been as great. It started with my dad having a mental breakdown earlier this year. When that happened I worked hard to help my mom get back on her feet. She doeshave a mental condition, post traumatic stress disorder, and her behavior is erratic at times. This summer ( shortly after her split with my dad ) she got a boyfriend. I don't mind him that much, but I do not wasn't to live here any longer. Recently mom has taken extreme control over my life because of recent problems with my boyfriend and his family. I don't what to do, although I'm perfectly capable and responsible enough to take care of myself, I'm afraid my mom won't let me move out. Even though she relied on me taking care of her and my younger brother, I am an honors student and ASB president I'm worried her obsessive control over me will be a problem. I want to know what I can do if she doesn't let me leave. Is there a law in Washington that will allow me to maple that choice myself? I'm going to confront her tonight and tell her that I have kept in contact with my boyfriend, even though she told me I couldn't. I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't let me leave. What I can say to her to male her believe that I can care for myself?

  • #2
    re: 16 Year Old in washington

    HI there,

    Thanks for reaching out tonight and sharing your story with us. It sounds like you’re going through so much with your mom. It must be tough to feel like you don’t have any freedom or any say over your life. You’ve gone through a lot this year and it sounds like you’ve been incredibly brave and strong through it all. It was smart of you to reach out for some support. So let’s see how we can help you out tonight.

    It sounds like you are very capable of taking care of yourself and the people around you. You asked if there is a law in Washington that would allow you to make your own decisions. One option that you have is to apply for emancipation. Being emancipated means that you are responsible for yourself under the law. You would be able to make your own decisions regarding your life. In WA, in order to be emancipated your first step would be to contact a lawyer. You can find a free or very cheap lawyer at Cascade Youth and Family Center at 540-382-0934. They are probably available Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm.

    Sometimes emancipation can take a little bit of time (it can take months) and it sounds like you really want to leave right now. Sometimes people that are facing the same things you are try and get permission from their guardian to move out. That’s what it sounds like you are trying to do. There are a few ways that you can try to talk to your mom about letting you move out. One thing that you might try doing is writing down the things that you want to say. That helps keep things calm and keep you on point. Sometimes it can also be helpful to think about things that you would compromise on. Because you are asking her to compromise, she may ask something of you. Another option you have is to have a third person in the room to help mediate the conversation between the two of you. That can also help keep things calm.

    We hope that this information is helpful to you. If you’d like to talk more please feel free to call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you calling isn’t your thing, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time. We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi, my parents and I don't get along (long story) they have taken everything away from me and I have a place to go and I would like to get emancipated. In the emancipation papers it asks how long I've been living away from them... Does this mean I have to leave a note for my parents and "run away" as a minor?

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking to be emancipated you would need to be able to prove in court that you are able to live away from your guardians and be able to support yourself. For information specific to your situation and for emancipation laws in Washington, you can contact Northwest Youth Services at 360-676-1022 for legal advice. One of the first best steps to take would be reaching out to them or finding a lawyer to start the emancipation process.

        If you call into us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we might be able to provide you with more legal resources that could help you out in your situation. We are also here if you want support surrounding your situation at home and just need someone to talk to.

        Please don't hesitate to give us a call,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi, I have a 16 year old family member that wants to move out of her mom's and live with me. I am a reliable, responsible mother of 3. I am married. We have always been close to her and I am the only person in her life that she is close too. Her and her adopted mother have never been close and don't really have a relationship. She is under complete control and no life of her own. She is called names and made to feel terrible about herself. She doesn't argue with her mom. She is pretty much a straight A student and a great kid. She is more than welcome to come live with us. I know she can get emancipated, but her mom will fight us on this. I am the 1 person she cant be arShe doesn't want to be at home to wait for the courts because things will only get worse for her. We need direction, please help.

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like your family member is in a very frustrating situation and it’s really kind of you to try and advocate for her. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking she would need to have her parents’ permission to stay with you. If there is abuse going on, though, you have the right to file an abuse report for her. You can do that by calling the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. Without her mother’s permission, however, there is not much that you can do without involving the court system. You might consider reaching out to a legal aid resource in your area for more information about what your options are. It’s a frustrating situation to be in, and thank you again for reaching out. We wish you the best of luck.

        • #6
          Hi, i am 16 and i live with my mother. I think my mom does drugs i have found meth in a clear pipe in her drawers, and she verbally abuses and has thrown things at me. So i am wondering is there anyway i can emancipated without permission.

          Comment


          • #7
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

            We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and we want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can give you general information about emancipation. In your state, a judge is looking to see if you can support yourself financially and educationally to allow emancipation. There being abuse and drugs in the home could also help your case. We have two resources that you could call out to for legal aid about the emancipation process. Northwest Youth Services at 360-676-1022 and Division of Children and Family Services at 253-872-2270. They could possibly give you more advice on your situation.

            Another resource that you can reach out to about child abuse reporting and your rights as a minor would be Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. We can also be reached at 1-800-786-2929 if you want more resources or just want someone to listen. It can be difficult to cope with a family member's drug use. You can reach out to Alateen support groups found at al-anon.org if you are having trouble.

            Once again, don't hesitate to reach out to us so we can best help.

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #8
              hello, im 17 and both of my parents have been hurting me emoctionaly, and acting unfair towards me. what should i do? can i runaway without permission?

              Comment


              • ccsmod16
                ccsmod16 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there, thanks for reaching out. It sounds like home is pretty difficult for you right now. We are here to listen and to help.
                We are not legal experts but we can provide some general information. In most states, 18 is the age you can leave home without parental permission. Leaving without permission means your parents could file a runaway report with the police. It is not a crime to run away, but it is a status offense, like skipping school, and you are usually taken back home if the police find you.
                You do not deserve to be emotionally hurt and if you feel your parents are abusive, you do have the right to file an abuse report. Child Help is an agency that helps protects kids and can provide more information on what is considered abuse, how to make a report, etc. (1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org)
                You may also consider talking to an adult at school about what is going on or think about whether or not there is anyone (friend, family member, neighbor) your parents would allow you to stay with for awhile.
                You have shown a lot of strength reaching out today! We are here 24/7 to talk about options and provide resources: 1-800-786-2929. Best of luck and reach out by phone or live chat anytime!
                Last edited by ccsmod16; 03-06-2018, 01:18 PM.

            • #9
              Hello, I am 16, and almost everyday my mom tells me to move into my boyfriends place, ive been told by his mom that i am able, i just want away from that i feel as if my own mom dont care anymore. im a built in babysitter and i can barely have any fun as teens usually do. i know her life is hard but i dont believe i deserve to be treated as i am being treated. tonight she wouldnt respond to my questions asking if she wants me to stay... she said shes to busy to answer... what can i do.. ive read all the laws i know it all... but there has to be something. I cant take it.

              Comment


              • ccsmod2
                ccsmod2 commented
                Editing a comment
                Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with things at home. If your mother has given you permission to move out then you can, you may want to get something in writing. You may also want to look into emancipation laws for your state. If you have any questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.



                We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think
                Last edited by ccsmod2; 05-21-2018, 01:55 AM.

            • #10
              I'm 16 and I'm planning on running away I almost left in the mid school year but my friend snitched on me and my teacher and counselor got involved luckily I was able to lie my way out of it and say it was a misunderstanding I'm stuck in the perfection state which causes argument in my house and my ed disorder doesn't help either my past hurts more then anything since I have as bullied in nearly every grade not only will I be running away but I'm also planning suicide on a highway bridge or any height I can find I'm serious so any police that see me and try to stop me I'll hopefully be able to outrun them so I guess I'm committing two crimes

              Comment


              • ccsmod6
                ccsmod6 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello, thank you for calling the National Runaway Safeline. We are here to listen and hopefully can help in some way. We are sorry to hear that you feel like you are being singled out by your family because of your disorder. We want you to know that you are no less than anyone else and that your life is valuable.
                You mentioned suicide and running away. If you are feeling like you are going to hurt yourself please call your emergency police for assistance. If you would like further suicide prevention resources please do not hesitate to contacts the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-8255. This is a serious thing to be thinking about and we hope that you will use those resources to think it through. Maybe talking your feelings through with someone you trust like a school counselor or family member may help you as well. To talk to someone else who may be able to help you have the option of contacting the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at 100-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.
                Again, thank you for reaching out to the NRS. We really hope we have helped in some way. For more resources or to talk, please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY. Take care of yourself.
                -NRS
                We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
                Last edited by ccsmod6; 07-03-2018, 11:48 PM.

            • #11
              Hi, I'm 16 in Washington State. I live with my aunt but I didn't have the choice she fought my mom for full custody knowing my mom was unable to fight back due to problems. I have been unhappy since living here and have developed worse mental problems and have tried committing suicide multiple times. I have been to counseling many times but it has not worked do to being in the house. I have told her many times I am unhappy and that being here makes me wanna die, she says she doesn't care. I have thought about running away but what would it help? I really don't want to be here, there are too many kids and I just don't feel fit to live here. I have a place to go but I need to know if there was a chance I could get out of here very soon before I end up hurting myself and it being my last chance.
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-15-2018, 01:38 AM.

              Comment


              • #12
                Reply: Hi, I'm 16 in Washington State.

                Hello,
                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

                From everything that you have been going through at home it took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Well done.
                It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by your situation and you mentioned having attempted suicide a number of times. We’re sorry you’re going through this.
                You don't deserve to be unhappy. Continuing with counseling may be one way of coping with your situation. Taking care of yourself is important.

                If things become too stressful and you begin to feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts you might consider contacting the National Suicide and Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

                Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are limited as to how we can help in this type of forum.

                If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

                Be safe,
                NRS




                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #13
                  Hi.. I'm 16.. I have went to so many lengths to try and go to job core and leave my home. And I'm trying to do it soon. I'm trying to find as many loop holes there even are to accomplish this for the sake of my future. I live with my grandma and dad. Long story about how that all went down. But we never get along really. My dad has a brain injury and he is an alcoholic. He hasn't been drinking a couple weeks due to him having alot of issues in his head. But he isn't very nice... He is threatening when he drinks and he has no filter. Ive been scared that if I tried something my grandma will send me to a mental ward.. There has been a history of things with them. And I dont believe I'm in a good environment... Any help?... Anything? Ive looked into emancipation and I've tried convincing them to live with my sister. But nothing is working out. The social worker I had wouldnt really listen to my side of the story after she talked to my grandma. Idk what they talked about because I wasn't involved really. But she left the whole emancipation topic and told me I should did family therapy. And theres so much more to the story. I have not really any knownledge about the laws hsve the things I found out my grandma told me wasn't true. Any ideas?

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod2
                    ccsmod2 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello There,
                    Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and listen to your situation. It sounds like you ae going through a really difficult situation, and we are glad you had the courage to reach out to us. If you are attending school you could consider talking to your school counselor or a trusted teacher about joining the job core. Also some schools offer foreign exchange programs or volunteer opportunities that may help you get out of the house for a bit. And you mentioned your dad is threatening to you, you do not deserve that. If you feel that is emotional abuse you could report it if you would like. The Child Help Line is: 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making these reports can be difficult if you would like you may give us a call and we can help you make a report. And we are sorry the social worker you had would not listen to. You could consider reaching out to another social worker and see if they would be able to listen to your story. We hope this information has helped you in your situation. If you would like to discuss more or have any other questions feel free to chat with us or give us a call we are available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck, remember to stay strong!
                    NRS

                • #14
                  hi, i am 14 years old and recently my mom has freaked out about some thing (long story) and i was wondering if somehow i could get out of my house and live somewhere else right away. I know im only 14 so i might not be able to do it legally but my mom wont let me leave and i really need to.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod7
                    ccsmod7 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a difficult situation with your mom at home, and are wanting to live elsewhere at 14. Here at NRS, we truly want to inform you and support you the best we can.

                    At 14 years old, generally the legal way you can leave home is with permission from your parent or guardian. If you have a supportive adult in your life like a trusted family member, you might ask them to talk to your mom for you to see if she would let you stay with them. If your safety is a concern, there might be other options for you to legally leave. If you are feeling unsafe and would like to explore those options please do not hesitate to call or chat us so we can help brainstorm your options.

                    You mentioned thinking about leaving home without permission, so we want to let you know about what that could look like legally. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your mom may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

                    Please do not hesitate to call or chat if you have questions, need resources, or need to talk. We can explore your situation, go over all your options, and come up with a plan and resources to deal with your situation over the phone or on live chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

                    -NRS

                • #15
                  So my sibling and I have never had a good relationship with our parents. Sometimes things will be okay for a few months then they snap and say they hate us and wish they didn't have us. My mother has let her boyfriend do things to me and my sister for drugs. She's let horrible things happen to us for her own benefits. My father is no better. He hates having us because he worry's about his girlfriend and they're kids so when we get kicked out and HAVE to go to him. Things escalate quickly. The other day (no longer then me being there for 5 days, I was very depressed because change is hard for me. My boyfriend is very supportive and helpful with my depression he often draws me pictures and texts me all the time to make sure I'm okay. But my father yelled at me for crying in the trailer when it was dinner while I was doing homework and he brought me out in the living room for everyone to hear what he was going to say towards me. He said I ruined his relationship in less then 5 days and he doesn't think it will work out with me being there and his girlfriend doesn't appreciate the way he talks to us so she yelled at him that's the reason he said I was ruining they're relationship.) And he will not let me go anywhere he's constantly up my ass because he can. He's very mentally abusive and I can't really do anything about it. But I'm soon turning 16 and I've been trying to get emancipated because I have been taking care of me and my sinking for a while. But is there any way I could move out when I'm 16? I've done research and it says as long as I'm not in danger where I'd be staying at the courts/ authority will not make me go home. I just am not sure what to do.
                  ​​​​​​

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod6
                    ccsmod6 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hello there,

                    Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’re going through. It sounds like a lot is going on, and we hope that you know you do not deserve to be treated that way by your parents, and that if anyone to blame for your father’s actions it is him and not you and your sibling.

                    As NRS is not a legal agency, we cannot speak with authority about what laws apply in your state, only an overview if you were to leave without parental consent. If you would like to reach out to your local police through their non-emergency number in order to see what factors they take into consideration, you can. They also would know more about your local laws and how they apply. This number could be found on usacops.com.

                    You mentioned some instances of abuse done to you and your sister. We wanted to let you know that you both deserve justice, and if you felt like reaching out for support, then RAINN (the Rape Abuse Incest National Network) could be a potential resource at 1-800-656-4673 and online at rainn.org. Additionally, if you wanted access to mental health care resources, SAMHSA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at 1-877-726-4727 and online at samhsa.gov is available for support.

                    We understand that trauma can be difficult to work through and that reporting may not be an option you are comfortable with. However, you do deserve to live in a safe place and your father has not been providing you with that. If you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like. They are accessible by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org.

                    You mentioned emancipation as something you were considering. We have some local legal resources available but are unable to share those on the forum due to privacy concerns. However, if you would like to talk about those resources, general run away information, or other support, feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
                    We hope this information was helpful and take care.
                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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