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Turning 18 soon and want to move out legally

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  • #61
    Hi my birthday is in march 31 and I'm going to be turning 18. My parents are divorced and wondering if my mom can still file a report on a run away. People say i have a mature thinking for a person of my age. My mom has twin girls but since i was little she has always showed her more love then me, can i move right now 2 months before turning 18.

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for contacting NRS,
      We appreciate that you would reach out to us given your current situation. From what we understand about your situation you want to leave home because you feel put off to the side. And so you are close to being 18. From what we know typically the age to leave home is 18 but because you are close to being 18 you might have a chance at getting out. One way of figuring out what could happen is reaching out to your local non-emergency number and asking them what would happen. Since they are the police they can answer questions and give you a for sure yes or no or something that can happen. This seems a bit scary to do but if you do call you do not need to give your name or where you are. Asking questions is not illegal and is within your right. You can also withhold your name as you aren’t committing a crime you simply want to be informed.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #62


    I will be 18 in seven months. I live in a house with a verbally abusive mother and she has severe anger issues. Every time that she gets angry, she takes it out on me and my brother, but treats her youngest like an angel even when she does something wrong. My mom does not see what she does to me mentally, and it has gotten to the point where i hate being around her and i get scared of doing things for her because she makes me feel like anything i do or touch, just gets messed up. Im not even allowed to sleep until she says so, and then i get late for school every day, and have sleeping issues that i need addressed and i cant do anything about it. I have thought of suicide and hurting myself because i feel like i deserve the pain as a consequence for not being the perfect daughter for her, Im only alive today because i know that if i be patient that better things will come but for the time being everything is just too much to handle. I am not sure that i even love her anymore, everything that she has done has trumped every bone in my body over her...thinking about the way she treats us hurts and doesn't help, it makes things worse, to the point where i cry myself to sleep every single night. There was a time where she told me that i should kill myself, actually twice, and i rememeber every second of those times because a mom, thats supposed to love and care about me, told me to kill myself, she did that to me and my brother, he is 11, he does not need to hear things like that, its toxic, even if she is mad he does not deserve to hear that from his mother. I know i have depression, probably a severe case of it, i told her that and she wont help me, she went out and got herself help, and i'm supposed to just sit here and feel like crap all the time while she gets to feel good about herself? She claims to care about me so much, but i think she only says that because i'm her blood and she does not see me as a human being with feelings. I try my best, but it’s just not enough. We recently fought and involved the police and i told them everything that she has done to my brother and i, but they believed her more than me just because i didn't report it right away, i was scared that reporting it would put my siblings in CPS or so damage in the house if nothing happened, so i wouldn't know how to fight that. Living with my mother has made me extremely depressed and my main focus is getting out of that house, i have a place to move into already, i am just worried about the legal issues and i do not want anything within that household to exaclate. I am scared and I am not sure what to do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We understand it takes great courage and strength to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like the situation at home has been incredibly overwhelming and has been affecting your mental and physical health.
      We are not legal experts, but we do have a fair amount of knowledge about running away and leaving home before you’re 18. Running away is not illegal, but because you are still a minor, your mom has every right to file a runaway report with the police. As a minor, it will be seen as a status offense, and what that means is that it is only something youth cannot do because they are a minor; for youth over 18, it is no longer called running away. If your parents were to file the report, there is the possibility that police will be actively searching for you and if they do find you there is the possibility that they will detain you until your parents can pick you up or they would take you straight home. If you were to run away to a friend’s or family member’s house and your parents know about where you might be, that could be whoever you are staying with at risk for being charged with a misdemeanor for harboring a runaway.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your mom’s permission. If you think your mom would be supportive of you living with friends or another family member, one option you have is called an Alternative Living Arrangement. If your guardians give their written permission, you can live with someone else (a relative or family friend, for example) until you turn 18.
      You can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We noticed that you mentioned suicide, and we want you to know that you are not alone. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We encourage you to reach out for help with these thoughts and feelings, perhaps with a school counselor or therapist. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a great resource for you. You can check them out https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.
      It also sounds like you’ve been a victim of emotional/verbal abuse. It is not okay for your mom to talk to you or your brother like that, you do not deserve that. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable at home. If you want more information about filing an abuse report, ChildHelp has a National Child Abuse Hotline that could help answer any questions you may have and provide you with resources to support you. They may be able to tell you more about how CPS could respond to your specific situation. You can call them at 1-800-422-4453 or by visiting their website at childhelp.org, where you can chat with them.
      Your mental health is important. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a wonderful resource for mental health support and resources. You can call them at 1-800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.
      If you want to talk more in depth about what is going on and find out what resources are available to you, do not hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or start a chat with us at www.1800runaway.org. We are 24/7 and confidential. We are here to listen and here to help.
      Best of Luck,
      NRS

  • #63
    I would like to leave my home without contacting family again, will I be looked for? I am 17 turning 18 in Febuary, thank you

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. While we are not legal experts, we can speak generally about this.

      Because your parents are technically your legal guardians until you turn 18, they can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your parents can ask police to bring you back home if they know where you are staying. In most cases, police do not actively search for a runaway, but they will check the places where your parents suggest you might be staying. If you come into contact law with law enforcement for another reason, your name would be flagged as a runaway until you turn 18. Now, there is not a universal way that police handle runaway reports. Some police are much more lenient in the case of someone who is close to turning 18. There is a possibility police would not act at all on a runaway report. We suggest that any young person with this question contact the non-emergency line for your local police department to speak to an officer about the specifics of their runaway protocol.

      We hope this information helps! If you have any more questions or you would like to talk more about your situation, please do not hesitate to contact us directly. We are available 24/7 for immediate support by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

      Good luck and stay safe!
      NRS

  • #64
    I turn 18 on the 26th of March can I move out now if my mom is abusive and controlling

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #65
    My dad told me I could leave them on for now and I’ve been gone now it’s a week before my birthday and it’s telling me I have to come back do I have to

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, we are glad you reached out to us. Your situation is actually more complicated to answer than just a yes or no-as some states have different laws for age of majority (the age you are considered for legal purposes to be an adult). While we are not legal experts, we can help you understand the general legal issues for your situation.

      Generally speaking, for most states, the age of majority is 18. Typically even if a parent/guardian files a runaway report on a 17 year old who is close to 18, the responding police department won’t enforce it as long as the youth is safe and in a stable situation.

      You can follow up with us through a chat on our website or you can call our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are completely confidential. If you call our hotline, we can conference call your local police department and confirm their enforcement policy. It will be our number on file with them and you will not be identified.

      We want to help you make sure you have all the information for your situation so you can make an informed decision on your next step. We can also help you explore some other options that you might not have considered.

      We hope to hear from you soon and best of luck.
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