17 year old in Maryland

[Guest]

I plan on running away but the problem is that I'm 17. For as long as I can remember my parents have been both mentally and physically abusive. My parents are Muslim and immigrants so they are extremely strict. Recently my little brother told my parents about my Instagram and how I post pictures in sleeveless shirts. The pictures are of course nothing bad just picture of me in a tank top. As a result, my parents decided to take me out of school for 12th grade. I also can't apply for college. They even threaten to take me back to Pakistan to get me married. It seems to me that I can either runaway to my friends house or take my own life now that I have nothing to live for. They are also very good at beating me in a way that there are no scars left. So it's almost impossible to go to cps. Basically what I'm asking is if I run away at the age of 17 can they call the police to take me back by force? Additionally, if I continue going to my high school can they take me out of the high school as well?

[ccsmod10]

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out. Seeking help, as you have done, is a big, important step to take. Your situation sounds extremely difficult and scary. Being mentally and physically abused like this is very traumatizing, and you should not have to endure that kind of treatment at the hands of your parents.

Feeling like there is nothing to live for must weigh very heavily on you. There are a number of resources that are available to you that can help you through these difficult thoughts and feelings. One is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their number is 1-800-273-8255. If you identify as LGBTQ, you can also reach out to The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386. Both of these hotlines have wonderful people that are available 24/7 to listen and provide support in a non-judgmental way. As far as your abuse is concerned, you should consider reaching out to Child Help, a National Child Abuse Hotline, at 1-800-422-4453. They might be able to help you work through some of your more specific concerns regarding your abuse. Abuse is an issue that should never be ignored, even if signs of it are hidden, as in your case. Legal services in Maryland might also be able to address your questions and concerns. You can reach Family Law at 1-800-845-8550. They may be able to answer your questions about being taken out of school and running away. If you run away, you can technically be classified as a runaway and your parents can report you, but this does not guarantee police will find you. This is the only information we are able to provide about running away as a 17-year-old.

Again, you have demonstrated maturity and bravery by reaching out to us. We hope that some of these options resonate with you, and will serve you. If you are feeling like you need more, or different, support, you can always reach out to us at 1-800-RUN-AWAY. We are here to help, here to listen. Best of luck as you move forward.

Best, NRS

[Guest]

I am 17 years old. If i run away will the police force me to go back home? .

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Looking to help

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m 16 in few months I will be 17. To be honest I don’t really know how to start, when the doctor told my parents that I was a girl that is when my life turn into a horror movie. Since it was too late to abort me “ I forced there hands” my mom will put it as. Because I was already born, and everyone knew about they couldn’t give me up for adoption. This made my parents divorce each other and because my mother want to be seen as a great person she decide to keep me. However she send me back to Africa just when i was 18 months without her. I stayed there for a while and den she send me back. So long story short she send me there every-time she gets tired of me. It wasn’t so bad, my aunt loves me so that is a bonus. I love her so much too. So my mom use that against, she accused me, by tell my aunt things I don’t even do. That is not even the down side, the down side is if I try to defend myself, she will make home a living hell, and I will lose everything including my aunt. See mother is an immigrant, I have a older brother she abandon him at the age of four just because she wanted to come to the United States. She made everyone think it was his fault. The family followed her blindfolded, everyone turn against my brother. at family meetings she acts like she loves me, Care about me, And when we get home She becomes the very opposite of a mother. To be honest I hate her as a person, But I love her just because.... She’s my mother. And like I said she’s an immigrant. So I want to do you know how I can talk to someone for help and not put my mother life in the USA in jeopardy?. I want to know how I can run away at 17?. I need this answer urgently because if my mother sent me back to Africa my uncles on my father side we just marry me off like a property. How can my brother be effected by this, beside him missing me

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are trying to decide what to do about leaving home or staying. but have some questions. Though we can understand being frustrated by a situation it’s good that you are taking your time in making a decision. At 17 you are still consider a minor so and running away probably will cause changes as to how you will survive. Some things to consider are where you will stay? How will you eat? How do you keep yourself safe? Basically the question you might ask of yourself is: Will running away make my situation better or worse? It sounds like you have a close relationship with your aunt. Perhaps you might consider talking with her about the situation. Having a good support base could be helpful in trying to figure out the best course of action. That being said.
Another thing that might help during a difficult time is making a check list to see if you have done all that you can to resolve whatever conflict you are having with your mother. Next is to examine how you have attempted to do this. Consider what the best form of communication is to get across your feelings about the situation.
It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care.

We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that it would be nice to have a listening ear.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
We do understand your concern about your status being an immigrant. We are not legal experts but we might be able to explore some legal resources in your area.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 14 turning 15 in a couple of months I have what some may call the "perfect home" 2 parents under the same roof and they provide for me...in the past I've been in trouble before and my father told me to pack my bags because he was putting me out but never really did...recently I've been getting into trouble for coming home late and failing in school i feel all kids my age make mistakes but my father feels I'm disobeying his rules last week i got in trouble and he asked why didn't run away yet and why haven't i killed myself and he smacked me multiple times he left a bruise so on Thursday of last week i decided to leave and i text him and told him i wasn't coming home that was until then my mother filled a missing persons report on Saturday now when she did the police department said being as thought we live in Maryland i can leave at the age of 14 as long as i tell them i'm safe and in no real harm and they won't be able to file a missing persons and at the age of 15 i can get emancipated...should i stay home to see if things change? or leave and stay with a family member?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Some of the things that your dad has said are not OK and you shouldn't be treated that way. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned a couple of things about your dad threatening to kick you out and hitting you to the point where you bruise. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your parents can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. Even if you are somewhere that is safe the police would still bring you back to your parents. If you disclose abuse to the police they may let you stay where you are but would be mandated to contact Child Protective Services.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm a 17 year old male in my junior year of high school. I have good grades and am looking to take the ASVAB test to get into the military in about a year. I am afraid,however, that if i run away and get reported as a runaway that it might be a hard time to get into the military. Im not happy at home in an way shape or form. My mom not only set up cameras in the house but has a tracking app on my phone which i am OK with but then she gets mad when the internet isn't working when i walk the 1.5 miles to school and then shuts off my phone. Me constantly holds over my head of kicking me out, how useless i am, how impossible it is to be around me, etc. She treats me like trash and i have contemplated suicide a number of times just to get away from her for good. I love to be alive but anywhere near her, and i quickly wish i wasn't. I have a job and usually buy my owe clothes and food since she usually spends her money and time with my siblings. I just need some help or some answers

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did.
It sounds like you are in a very difficult and stressful situation. Being monitored at home and a tracking app feels bad enough, but her being mad about the tech limitations likely makes it all feel worse. And then having her treat you like trash to the point where you have contemplated suicide- we are very sorry that you are going through all of this. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. You do deserve to be treated well and to be respected.
Feeling suicidal may be a result of the way she treats you, and the way that humans internalize that treatment. It is not your real voice-your real self. Your real voice is here looking for hope and answers and has already found a good plan for after graduation. It is our understanding that if, when you reach the age of majority in your state, the runaway report would expire. Running away isn’t a criminal matter, just an offence against your status as a minor, so the military probably wouldn’t know about it. We are not legal experts, however, so you may want to check with a recruiter.
If you are feeling suicidal, you can reach out to the nice and supportive people at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-TALK We would also like to further communicate with you. We can listen and help you figure out a plan that you feel comfortable with.
You can reach us in either of two ways. You can call our hotline at 1800-RUNAWAY or reach us via live chat through www.1800runaway.org We are here for you 24/7 and our services are completely confidential.
We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello I’m 17 in Maryland and i was wondering if it’s okay to runway without my mom knowing because I’ve had too much pressure put onto in my household. I live with my mom and my two brothers and i love my brothers a lot but I’ve been a mother to them than my mom has. She works all the time yeah i know she wants the best and have money for me and my brothers but she forgets I’m still a teenage and i want to have freedom. She always yells at me for not cleaning or not cooking or even help my brothers with the homework when i did already. I’m thinking about moving out in the middle of the summer by that time ima be 10 months away from being 18. Ive had enough of being in this household i feel trap and i can’t do it no more.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It can be really overwhelming to have to take on so many household chores and it must be frustrating to not have the kind of independence other teens have. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your mom can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor (which you are until you turn 18 ). If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home.

It seems like your mom isn’t fully understanding you when you are trying to relay your thoughts and feelings about feeling trapped. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 17 I have a job and I rent a room monthly i also have my own vehicle I’m currently under the care of the foster department I feel as if I don’t need to be at a foster home since I have my own place and I was doing well before cps came into my life if I back my things and move to another room. What are the chances of me getting caught? CPS does not have my address in which I’m moving to they do not know where I work. And have no clue who I’m going to stay with. ???

[ccsmod4]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Unfortunately we can’t predict or guess about the chances of your whereabouts being discovered. It sounds like you were self- maintaining on your own. We understand your frustration with the situation.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, im a 17 year old who currently lives in maryland.

im 17 (turning 18 in 6 months) and i live with my one guardian who can be really verbally and emotionally abusive. it happens almost every day, and i just need a break. she doesnt let me go anywhere really either. i cant work, and i cant drive, (because she will not allow me to) but i have a bf who drives who is willing to pick me up and let me stay a few nights with him. im allowed to stay there usually, but if i was to go ask now after the several nights of arguments between us, she would say no. but i need this break. ive been having bad thoughts, and since my guardian doesn’t believe me and wont get me the help i need, the only thing i can think to help in this moment is to get away for a bit. im still in school, but online, so taking my schoolwork with me isnt a problem. i just wanna go for 2-3 nights, but my fear is that if i get up and leave , even with telling her where im going, she absolutely will call the police. so, my main question; is there a way around it where i wont be taken home immediately or where the police wont make me go home for the 2-3 days? My bf’s family said they are aware and are okay with having to handle any cops, as long as they arent able to get charged.


tldr: im 17 in MD and my guardian is verbally and emotionally abusive and won’t believe me when i need help, so instead im trying to stay with my bf and his family for a few nights. i’d definitely go home. my guardian doesnt want me going and will call police. would the cops have to take me home or would i be able to stay the few nights?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. We aren’t legal experts here at NRS, but generally speaking, if you do opt to leave your home your guardian can file a runaway report, which is essentially a missing person report. Running away is a status offense; this means that it isn’t illegal, but it’s something you can’t do while still a minor. If a runaway report is filed and you are located by the authorities you will most likely be returned home. While possible, it is pretty unlikely that your boyfriend or his parents would face any kind of charges.

You mentioned that you have been having some bad thoughts and have not been getting needed help which causes some concern for your safety ad well-being. You do not have to face these types of thoughts alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

I'm sixteen and tired of living in my house where I get mentally abused I want to run away to my friends house but I don't want my friends parents getting in trouble. The other day I didn't put my socks away and she got mad because I had an attitude about it and she said I'm no longer your mother don;t look at me ,don't talk to me, don't ask me for anything and I said I don't need them and she said get out then leave I don't care anymore.What should I do?

[ccsmod9]

Thanks for contacting NRS,
We are sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult time. It must feel really hurtful to hear your mom say something like that. You should not have to feel like you are not welcome at home. We would encourage you to call us or use our chat options (1800runaway.org) to discuss a bit more about what's been going on. You mentioned that you want to run away and go to your friend's place. Some things to keep in mind are that there are runaway laws that come into play. Technically the only legal way to leave home is until you are 18. Any age younger than that and your parents/guardians have the right to file a runaway report with the police. Once that report is made, the police would be looking for you. If they find you, you can be brought back home. This can also mean sometimes people that you stay with or house you can be charged with harboring a runaway. Penalties vary in every state for this kind of charge. It's always good to keep good communication with the people that are offering to help as they should know what's going on. An option you have might be to ask your mom if you can live with them since she no longer wants you home. With her permission you would not get into trouble for something like that but keep in mind she can always take away that permission as well.

Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.

Take care,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi! I am a 17 year old living in Baltimore, Maryland. I live with my parents and siblings. My parents are really religious and since I am a senior. I am looking into colleges. I want to go to college for acting and film making. My parents are really mad at me. They never talked to me and this was the only time they talked to me and said no. I want to runaway. I don’t know where I will go or I don’t have money. What should I do

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out it shows a lot of courage. It is understandable to be frustrated when people are not listening to you. You mentioned that you are looking at colleges have you talked to your school counselor or anyone about the programs that you are interested in and how to pay for it. You mentioned that you want to runaway it could be worth exploring where are you going to stay or how you plan to pay for thing. We have an option as well where you can call into the line, and we can moderate the conversation between you and your parents and talk about your plans for school. Remember that you are not alone, and we are always happy to listen and support you. You can reach us 24/7 through chat or at our number 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello. I’m 17 and I’m from Maryland.


So, first I would like to say that I will be 18 soon. March 2023.

My mom and most of her family are drug addicts. My mom gave birth to five kids yet has none of us. She’s had more than enough second chances to change and get better to get us all back from CPS. All of my siblings live with different people. I’ve been from house to house my whole life. I’ve lived with my mom, dad, grandmother, a few of my aunts, great grandmother and in August of 2021 two teachers from my school took me in. They ended up not being who they said they were- they also just wanted someone to control- they saw how vulnerable I was to find loving parents and took advantage.

With that being said I’ve always wanted to live with my best friend of 5 years and her family…they love me as their own and recently we’ve talked about me moving in with them and them taking care of me. So I packed a few of my things from my teachers house- they found out and kicked me out anyway- so instead of taking me to me friends house they brought me to my dads house.

Now my dad- I met him when I was 10, lived with him for maybe 2 years when I was in 4th-5th grade. I didn’t like it so I moved back in with my mom when she was stable again. A lot of events took place between that time and now but I’m not going to talk about it.

In short- my dad is willing to let me go and “stay” with my friend and her family but in order to enroll me into her school the Pupil Personnel man needs to see that my friends mom has filed for joint custody papers with my dad- my dad doesn’t want to give her any type of custody because he doesn’t want her to try to file for child support in which we’ve reassured him over and over again that we don’t want his money and we also have an agreement that I would stay at his house on the weekends. So we would agree that in the file for joint custody we will state that we will not be asking for child support. Still, no.

I love my dad but we’re kind of two different people, he’s religious, strict about every little thing. Yells a lot. Scares me.

I am not a problem child, I came from nothing and I have made my life the best it could possibly be with the little bit I have. I have a good head on my shoulders but I just want to be happy and live a stress free life.

So I am here on this page making this post to see what the consequences would be if I ran away? I understand that it is a status offense- but what would happen to me?


Would I be forced to come back and live here until I’m 18; restitution? I’ve also heard that if a runaway case was reported that most times depending on the police station, they police won’t even take the report. Is that true?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for reaching out to us at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are happy to help you and provide you with support during this time.



It sounds like you’ve lived with many relatives and other adults throughout your life due to your mom’s drug addiction, such as your dad, grandmother, aunts, great-grandmother, and two teachers. We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out when you need help, and we are glad that you did. It also seems like you and your father have some differences, including the fact that he is religious, strict, and yells a lot, which scares you. It must be difficult to deal with this.



It also sounds like you want to live with your friend and her family, but your father is concerned with your friend’s mother asking for child support, and so his permission for you to stay with your friend is not final. If your father does not give you permission to live with your friend, your friend’s mother could be charged with harboring a runaway if you were to go live with her. However, once you turn 18, this wouldn’t apply. As for the runaway cases at the police station, most police stations will take runaway reports, although it does depend on the police officers if you are close to 18 if they choose to actually enforce it.



If you would like more resources to answer any other questions you might have, don’t hesitate to reach out to us over chat through our website (www.1800runaway.org) or over the phone through our 24 hour hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY).



Thank you again for reaching out to us. We are here 24/7 and have someone available to talk.



Best,

NRS