15 year old in north carolina.

[Guest]

I'm 15 and in North Carolina if I ran away do I have to go back they are my adopted parents and they are very abusive and I've already ran away once to my dad and step mom's house which is about 9 miles away from where I live now but I'm tired of having to change in front of them I have no privacy I'm not allowed to do anything to talk on the phone I'm not allowed to be on a computer they are homeschooling me so I don't even have a chance to be away from them they're constantly emotionally physically abusing me I'm scared to even go to sleep at night is there anyway if I ran away to my dad's house would I have to go back I don't want to go back to their house after the last time I ran away I was beat so bad but they wouldn't take me to the hospital I've called so has my dad and my step-mom child protective services and they did nothing they said they found no abuse or neglect in the house but that's only because they wouldn't talk to me and they didn't believe anything I had to say only what my adopted parents had to say I'm at a loss and if I don't do something I will take off or I will make it to where I don't have to be living in this home anymore

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that you’re going through such a difficult situation at home with your adoptive parents. It is never ok for anyone to be abusive towards you, and you deserve to feel safe at home. It sounds like you’ve got questions about whether you’d be able to live somewhere else. We’re not legal experts, but from what we understand, if you’re considered a minor in your state and you leave without your legal guardian’s consent, they would have the right to file a runaway report with your local police department. In many states, they would return you home or have your legal guardian pick you up. You have the option to inform the local police department of what’s going on, and they would then go on to report to child protective services. As you’ve noted, there is no guarantee that they would remove you from the home. Perhaps it would help to speak with your dad and stepmom to find out if they’d like to reach out to your state children and family services about pursuing custody. Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you.

If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe regardless of what you decide to do. You can reach us 24/7 via phone at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929), or via chat every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We wish you the very best of luck. Stay safe!

-NRS

[Guest]

Hi I’m a 15 yr female who really want to runaway and separate from my mother. She is unfair to me from all my other siblings I can’t do anything my older sister could when she was my age. My sister at my age would be out clubbing and dancing with all her friends without doing anything at home I am now 15 and instead of going out on a Friday or Saturday night and having fun like her I’m stuck home and I have to take care of my siblings and clean the house and and study to get good grades and make sure my siblings get fed and do everything the need to. When I try to my mom that I’d like to go out with a friend she says no and yells at me and says I never do anything and I just ask and ask to go out and she says im a horrible ungrateful daughter that i should learn to thank her I do everything she is suppose to as a mom i basically make sure my siblings have everything they need for school ready she yells at me when they get in trouble or when the have low grades in a class she says she’s that I’m the older one I need to help them but that all I do I have no life instead of worrying about outfits and everything teenagers worry about I have to worry what are they ganna eat there no more food or what should I make for them to eat I’m tired of this even my friends can see the difference she has between me and my siblings it’s like she doesn’t like me she always comparing me to my older sister and saying I do nothing giving my older sister credit for what I do and when I try to talk to her she yells saying I always make her the bad mom and that why dont i go ask my dad for money and to buy us things instead if she’s such a bad mom I’m absolutely tired of it I hate it I’ve tried everything even thought about committing suicide and running away but I just can’t leave my younger siblings behind bc i know she’ll take her anger out on them please help me.

[ccsmod15]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like things at home have been very stressful and you are feeling like your mom has placed all the responsibility of your siblings on your shoulders. It is not fair for you to be worried about feeding your siblings if there is no food in the house. Here is a quick resource https://www.foodpantries.org/ to help. It also sounds like you care a lot about your siblings and are worried that if you leave your mom will take out her anger on them instead. It might be helpful to talk to a counselor or a trusted adult about what you are going through.

You also mentioned you were considering suicide. Please know that you can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 at any time, they also have a live chat program if you do not feel safe calling them from your home.

Just to let you know, we are not legal experts and we cannot tell you what you should or should not do. If you are a minor and leave home, the parent or legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. Typically, in most places running away is considered a ‘status offence’. This means that even though it is not against the law, anyone you are caught with could possibly be charged with ‘harboring a runaway.’ Before leaving, you might want to consider asking yourself what your plan would be, and who could help you, and if they would be willing to take that risk.

If you feel like you are being neglected and abused at home, you do have the right to make an abuse report. A mandated reporter such as a teacher, coach or other adult should be able to help you with this. We are also able to help you file an abuse report if you need help.

Thanks again for calling us, we are available 24/7 by phone and by chat if you would like to reach out to us. We wish you the best of luck and please stay safe.

[Guest]

I’m in a court case between my mother and my grandma, my grandma has always taken care of me ever since I came home from the hospital, my mother never wanted anything to do with me until she met a guy, and my mother forced me to move in with her and him. He is verbally abusive and he has very bad anger issues, I’m afraid to live here with him cause I’m afraid that he will hit me. I’m considering leaving tonight in the middle of the night. My grandma only lives like 200 feet away from my mother. cause of the court case both my mother and grandma has temporary custody over me. Would it be safe to run away tonight?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: im in a court case between my mother and my grandma

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You have every right to be safe and not abused by anyone. It is not your fault that he verbally abuses you. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, you know your situation best and it sounds like you have your grandmother for support. You might consider speaking with her about your fears and about your plan.

We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS



We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Please help me



Hello NRS,
I am a 15 year old female. I am currently living with my grandparents in North Carolina for things that my parents have done in the past, but have overcome. I was wondering if I could potentially "run away" to my mother without her being charged for anything. I can’t stand living with my grandparents anymore, it’s gotten too overwhelming. I am only allowed to see my father every other weekend, but not my mother or my siblings. I know for a fact that my grandparents hate my mother and siblings, and dislike my father. I am always caught up in the middle of things. It’s like I’m the rope in a tug of war competition. I was told by someone that when I was younger I was touched inappropriately by my father, yet he wrote a song about me, has tried to buy me anything I wanted, and has always been there and loved me. Now I am being told that was my grandma/pa who touched me inappropriately, so now I am at a cross roads and don’t know who to believe. I just think it would be a good idea for me to move in/ runaway to my mother because a female teenager needs her mother more than ever at this age. Grandparents are great for some things, but understanding this generation is not one of them. I have depression and anxiety and because I am too depressed some days to get out of bed or do anything, really my grandparents say that I am lazy, and I have to admit it, I have harmed myself, but not to the point of suicide whatsoever. Sometimes I think I started harming myself because of my grandparents; the things they say to me, behind my back, or about my family. Yes, I am on medication for my depression and anxiety, but I don’t think they help at all because none of my problems have been taken care of such as what I said that my grandparents have told/said about me. The only reason that I have not run away yet is because I’m afraid of what might happen to my mother. My grandpa is a county commissioner so he has some control over the law, and I just don’t know what to do because I don’t want my mom to get hurt anymore because of me. Please just help me, I’m at my breaking point. I need to get out of this house before i hurt myself anymore. All I’ve ever wanted was a "normal" family, not a broken one. Please help me.

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for telling us your story. It can be difficult telling others what has happened to you and you have shown great strength reaching out. We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and you should not have to go through that. If you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse you have experienced. You can do this anonymously if you are concerned about your grandpa finding out. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

If you don’t feel safe and feel like you need to get away Nationalsafeplace.org provides a safe location for you to meet a staff member who can take you to a designated place where you can discuss all options about how to stay safe. You can text 44357 the word “safe,” and your location to find a safe location in your area. Once you arrive let someone who works there know you need help connecting with a staff member.
Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do. We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your guardians could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. If you want to go stay with your mom and she does not have full custody of you she could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway if your guardian files a report. You could consider calling your local non-emergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

You mentioned depression and anxiety. If you’re not currently getting mental health resources, it can be really helpful to get treatment .As your mental health suffers, you have -limited ability to handle the other stressors in your life. You can contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) to connect you to mental health resources at 1-800-950-6264 or NAMI.org Another resource that can provide support is to write love on her arms TWLOHA. com. You may also want to talk to your school because they should have a counselor for you.

One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your grandparents why you want to leave and live with your mother instead. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.