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14 almost 15 dont know what to do.

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  • 14 almost 15 dont know what to do.

    Hi. So I have a few questions. I'm trying to make a decision as to what I should do. My mom just passed away 3 months ago and I am having a very hard time coping. I don't have a dad so I had to move in with my grandmother who lives across the country. My little brothers had to live with their dad who lives in a different state too so i pretty much have no hope of seeing them until I'm 18. I have no friends here and I am homeschooled so I see pretty much nobody all day every day. I know it probably seems really stupid but I can't take this anymore. I have enough problems as it is with just losing my whole family pretty much and on top of it she lied to me and I see no one all day. All I do all day is school and then watch movies or something, I stay inside all day long. I need my friends/boyfriend at a time like this, I'm tired of feeling so lonely. My boyfriend says he can get me a bus ticket back home and I can stay with him. I've tried resolving this with my grandma by talking to her about it. She promised me that I could go back home in one month of being here so we could figure things out but that was a lie to just get me to come here. I feel so betrayed because she promised on my mom and my brothers and everyone that she was telling the truth. I will have a place to stay, food, all those basic necessities and ill finally feel like I have a reason again. I'm tired of doing nothing all day. I feel like I am wasting my youth. Every time I try to talk to her about it she ignores me, tells me she'll "think about it" or walks away and pretends I never said a word. I am sick of living like this. I used to have a job back home too. and I could get it back.
    -Will I have trouble getting a job in the future because of running away?
    I don't want to be placed in the foster care system or anything. I know my grandma would not let that happen to me because she loves me. But I don't want to be a ward of the state or anything because I don't have parents. And I still want to continue to go to school and everything too. I just want my old life back because I used to self harm and I have been clean for almost a year and I want to keep that going. Even though this is a very depressing situation I promised my mom I would never do it again. I just don't know what to do. I know if she wanted to come pick me up she would have to do so herself since its in a different state the police wouldn't come get me. I would still talk to her every day and everything. I don't know I just need advice.

  • #2
    RE: 14 almost 15 dont know what to do.

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us tonight and sharing your story. It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time. We’re sorry to hear about your mom, it sounds like she was a very important person to you. It must be hard to move to a new state. You mentioned that it is very isolating. We can’t imagine how difficult it must be. You are brave to reach out for help and guidance. So let’s see how we can help you out tonight.

    You seem like an incredible person for dealing with so much, while at the same time not hurting yourself. It’s very impressive to say the least. A good organization that might help support you is To Write Love on Her Arms (www.twloha.com). The website has resources for people like you who struggled/are struggling with self-harm.

    You wrote a lot about returning back to your family, friends and boyfriend. It’s no question that they are important people in your life. You are also thinking about some potential consequences you might face. If you do decide to leave your grandma’s house, she may file a runaway report with the police. A runaway report does not stay on your permanent record. As soon as you turn 18, or are returned home, the report goes away.

    Now, in terms of getting a job with a runaway report: it is very likely that an employer will ask for identifying information before giving you a job. We are not legal experts. But a runaway report likely will carry over to other states. If the police interact with you, they may force you to return back to your grandmother’s house.

    You’ve taken some great steps to try and improve the situation at home. We’re sorry to hear that they haven’t worked out. Can you think of any other way to try and make things better? It definitely doesn’t sound like an ideal situation at all, it just might be important to think about these things before you decide to leave.

    If you want to talk through anything else, or have any questions about what we wrote about above, you can contact us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are completely confidential and anonymous. If calling isn’t your thing, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.
    We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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    • #3
      I can't stay here.. I'm not happy here at all. I love my grandma and I don't want her to stress about me but I will be safe, Ill have all the basic necessities, I would get my job back, and I would be fine. I just don't see why she can't give me permission to live with a friend. I've practically begged her to and all she seems to do is get mad at me, or ignore my feelings. I think I will ask her again soon and if not I'll just take action myself.. because really I cant do this anymore. Thank you for such a fast reply.

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      • #4
        RE: 14 almost 15 dont know what to do.

        Hi again,

        It sounds like you have a pretty good plan set in place. It is smart of you to reach out to your grandmother one more time to see if she would give you permission. Sometimes guardian's are more likely to give this permission if there is something that you would be willing to compromise on. It might be helpful to think about some things that you could compromise with.

        You seem like a brave person who's fighting for their well-being. We hope that everything works out for you.

        If you'd like to talk more, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, or through our chat (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

        We look forward to your call or chat.

        Good luck,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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