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14 and WANT to move out at 16 VERY BADLY

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  • 14 and WANT to move out at 16 VERY BADLY

    I'm almost 15 but want to move out of my family's house soon after I turn 16. My boyfriend says that I can move in with him and his "grandparents" if I can legally. He lives with two adults who have perty much adopted him and they're like grandparents to him. They say that they'll be okay if I were to move in with them so long as its legally. My boyfriend is almost 16 right now and goes to school and works a little to support him and his grandparents and says that he will support me too whenever I start livin with him. I plan to still go to school and to find a job to help with financial payments and all. I ABSOLUTELY HATE havin to live with my family and I just want away, somewhere where I can actually be happy and feel safe. The ONLY place where I actually feel safe is when I'm with my boyfriend and when I'm with him I'm always happy. So is there any way I can "runaway" when I'm 16 and not be reported as a runaway if I make sure my parents know where i am when I do so?

  • #2
    Re: 14 and WANT to move out at 16 VERY BADLY

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us! We are sorry you feel unhappy at home, we can see how difficult it is to be in this situation. It sounds like you would feel happier living with your boyfriend.

    We are not legal experts but from what we know, you will still be a minor at 16 and your legal guardians which are your parents are responsible for you and could get in trouble for not filing a runaway report. Laws are different from state to state. Have you had a conversation with your parents about wanting to move out? What is going on at home that makes you feel unsafe and unhappy?

    Here, at the National Runaway Safeline we can listen and discuss options with you. Feel free to call us at 800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online. Emails and bulletins take longer to communicate with. Remember we are a 24/7 hotline and anonymous and confidential.

    We look forward to hearing from you!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I can't take it no more

      I am turning 15 this November and for the past 3-4 years I have been wanting to move out of my dads really badly I seriously can't take him anymore the reasons why I wanna move out? I am gonna tell you....since I was in grade 6 (I'm in grd 10) I have been forced to watch my little brother who is now 5 yrs old, my father has punched me 3 desperate time ing and has chocked me with my brother in his arms because of his temper, back in grades 7-8 I was sometimes forced to stay home from school to watch my brother for my father to go get his medication, my father threatens me almost everyday, forces me to watch my brother for stupid reasons and sometimes forced to cancel my plans with friends, he smokes around me and my brother inside the house, he is an alcoholic, and he does marajuana, he has friends who also do those things and he doesn't care that my brother sees all of this, every Saturday I am forced to watch my brother for him to get medication, and am forced to cancel plans, he gets mad at me for never being home, and that's because I wanna stay away from home, I would rather stay at school and do work instead of going home, I do not feel safe at home at all, I have depression and with having homework and all coming home after a long day doesn't help me at all, everytime we get into an argument, he raises his fist at me and charges at me in rage by does not touch me, my father has grabbed out FAMILY DOCTORS THROUHT, because our doctor made him angry by saying what he sees, that's how bad of a temper he has, he always gets mad at me for stupid reasons, back in the summer we got kicked out of our home because of him, him
      And my brother went to stay at friends houses while I stayed at my girlfriends, I was so much happier living there for a month, I was so much happier, I wasn't getting so depressed as often, then when we got out new place I just got worse, I hate him so much and there are more things I can't think of right now but trust me there is way more, I am just sick and tired of his ********, he always takes my money too, I really wanna move out and living with my father is just making me feel more depressed, I am looking for a job to make money for when I move out and for myself, my mother who lives in Calgary told me I can move out wen I'm 16 and ever since then I have been thinking on how I wanna do things and get prepared for so, I just can't take it here anymore I can't take my father, anyone have any suggestions for me and how I can move out ASAP? Someone please help me

      Comment


      • #4
        I can't take it no more

        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out to us. It is not always easy to reach out to someone when you need help so you are very brave in doing so. We are sorry about all that you are going through. You do not deserve punching or the choking from your father. We see how it can be frustrating for you when he is demanding of all your time and you are not able to have some time with your friends. It must be getting to the point where things are overwhelming for you, especially if you are thinking about running away.

        You mentioned that your father has a short temper and reacts aggressively towards not only you, but people around you like your family doctor. You don’t deserve to be treated that way at all. Please remember that you always have the right to report any abuse that happens in your house. If you feel like that isn't something that you're not sure who to do or a little uncomfortable in making an abuse report against your father, there are people out there that can help you. You can speak to someone to help you through the abuse reporting like a police officer or a school counselor. We can also help you through it by staying on the phone with you and conferencing the call to make the report with you. Another resource that you can possibly reach out to if call "Child Help USA" to make the report at 800-422-4453.

        Sounds like you have talked to your mother about these things. If your mother can be a better option for your living situation then we can talk more about that. We can give you the resources you need if there is a legal problem with staying with your mother. The best case scenario would be to have your father agree with you to stay with your mother or any other place like the friend’s house you were at for a month. Having this agreement in writing can help your situation as well. We also can provide you with shelter information for your area but you should know that most shelters will require your father to know you are staying there and it could be a short term stay. The shelters will ask you questions around abuse and will have to put in a report. Most shelters also have services like family therapy to help the situation at home.

        Looks like you are planning ahead by finding a job and saving up to live on your own. Having a job, alone, will help with avoiding abusive situations at home. Just know while it's great that you're planning ahead, it might be a little more difficult for a 15 year old to find and keep a job. There are a few labor restrictions that you should be aware of. You can find more able getting a job and labor laws by visiting this website (http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/youthlabor/index.htm). Making plans for after school programs, sports or clubs can also help in avoiding a bad time at home. We do want you to know that if you become stable enough to financially take care of yourself and you are still a minor you can petition to become emancipated. Becoming emancipated will give you some rights like having your own apartment and signing some documents that usually your parents will have to sign. We can definitely talk more about that if you call or chat with us.

        Again, you are very brave in reaching out to us and we hope that everything does work out. We would like to talk to you more about your situations so that we can put together a plan. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us on 1800RUNAWAY.org. We wish you the best.
        Last edited by ccsmod15; 10-31-2015, 03:31 PM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          can i move in with my dad without going to court?

          im 14 and I absolutely hate living with my mom and step dad. they are zero fun, never met me go anywhere& my stepdad is a straight up, well not nice person. im never happy there. i told my mom already i hate living there and that i want to live with my dad. she said i cant bc that would mean i have to go to court for that, but when i told my dad this he said shes lying. i dont know which is true but i would love if i didnt have to go to court and could just pack my bags and move in with my or at least move in with my grandma.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Can I move in with my dad without going to court

            Hello,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot. We’re sorry to hear that you are unhappy living with your mom. It must be a difficult situation for you. We are not legal experts here, but if typically courts would be necessary in order to make custody changes. This may be what your mother is talking about. Again we are not legal experts, but if you leave home without permission from whomever has custody of you, a runaway report can be filed. This would mean that the police would return you home and there could be legal aspects that your father or grandmother can face regarding harboring a runaway.
            It seems as though you have already talked to your mother about your feelings about moving away. National Runaway Safeline offers a conference call service that would allow NRS to help facilitate a conversation that would help you and you mother come to a compromise and express yourselves safely. If that interests you, you can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY.

            Best of Luck,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm 14, live with my mom, brother, step dad, and sister. I fight non stop with my sister, and it's gone to the point where I legitimately don't want her in my life anymore. I love my mom to death but we also fight way to much. My dad doesn't live with me anymore, but he has alcohol abuse problems. I want to move in with my friend and his mother. Me and his mother have had a good connection for a while, and she's told me many times that I could move in whenever of things were getting rough. I still want to be able to visit my house, and the extended family. And I also don't want this to go to court. How would I be able to go about this?

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

                Sounds like there is a lot of fighting going on at home with your sister and your mom, so you are trying to move in with your friend and his mother. We are glad that you have a safe, supportive place you can go.

                Legally, you can stay anywhere your legal guardian give you permission to stay. That is the easiest way you can leave home at 14 legally. This might be hard for you since it is a difficult conversation to have. You might include your friend’s mom in on the conversation with your mom, so she can advocate for you moving in with her. If you want your friend’s mom to take custody of you, your mom would have to voluntarily give up her parental rights or have them removed by child protective services. Please call or chat us if abuse is your situation so we can talk more about that option.

                Once you are 16, emancipation might be an option for you to leave legally depending on your state’s laws and your situation. However, that is a court process where you would have to prove that you are financially better off without the support of your guardian. To learn more about emancipation in your state, please call or chat us.

                Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you ever need.

                Best of luck to you,

                -NRS

            • #8
              It's not that my parents are mean or anything, but I'm never happy where I live, I want to move, and I have talked to my parents about this but my mom says no. I really don't like the place I live. I hate my school, my house, and especially the place I live. I'm 13 but I want to move out like today.

              Comment


              • ccsmod9
                ccsmod9 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi there,
                Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
                While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions. You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
                We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                Be safe,
                NRS

            • #9
              15 and i want to live my life please

              For about 2 years now i have wanted to move out of my house but things have gotten dramatically worse my mom found out i have a girlfriend(i’m a girl) and says that i would be alienated from my family if they ever found out and has said if she ever catches me talking to or messaging her again i will move schools i just want to be able to go about my day and not have to worry about looking over my shoulder i wanna be able to hang out with my friends whom are also mostly lgbt without worrying if i get caught seen with them in front of her i have talked to my friends about this and my best friends both understand and have told me i am free to come to their place if i need and if i need move in is there some way for me to move in with them without making a causing me having to talk to my mom i’m scared what she will do please i’m really desperate i don’t what else to do i don’t think my mom will agree to me moving out especially at the age of 15 and after her finding out i have a girlfriend please help

              Comment


              • ccsmod1
                ccsmod1 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - you shouldn't have to worry about "looking over your back". Everyone deserves to live in a home where they are supported and respected for who they are. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

                It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. Your bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. The LGBT Youth National Talkline could be a resource that can be a source of great support. The hotline is run by those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can reach them by calling 1-800-246-7743 or you can check out their website at gltbhotline.org. You can also check out the Trevor Project, an organization dedicated to helping LGBT teens by calling 866-488-7386 or by going to thetrevorproject.org.

                If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                All the best,
                NRS

            • #10
              I’m 14 right now almost 15 but I really want to move out my sister she already said she will take me but my parents said I can’t because they hate her. My mum said I can’t move out because I’m dyslexic, I have paranoia and ADHD but I think it has nothing to do with it. I am very unhappy at home and I wanna get a job so I can get a bit of money but my parents won’t let me. I don’t know what to do I’m bisexual and I can’t tell anyone in my family because they diss owned my cousin because he was gay. I hope someone can help me.

              Comment


              • ccsmod1
                ccsmod1 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hey there,

                Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

                We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

                Be safe,
                NRS
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