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I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I get no free time or respect at home all the time.

    I am 18 Turning 19 in the end of June, I'm a senior in high school I planed on leaving for the Air Force soon. Maybe this year now cause I can't stand living in a house with an dad that's achololic almost everyday and a mom that always yells and starts an arguments all the time with everyone, but I want to do at least 2 years in college. I am a good person, haven't done nothing bad in my life that are dealing with illegal substances or drinking. I don't get time to go do what I want to do all the time. Because we have 3 cars but out of them only one works. Which Is my car, supposedly it's not my car at all, but I do pay for the monthly bills and should of been under my name since last year. I go to school from 8am to 4:30pm depending on after school programs, I go to a program for the police department on Mondays and Thursdays to train from 6pm-9pm and the rest of the days I work all the time from 5:30pm 12am on weekend I work 1pm to 12am all the time. I get paid every week on Thursday like 300$ sometimes 350$. I chose to stay busy all the time to stay out of trouble. I always get complaints from them about me to start working out. I started an membership at my nearest gym that's 24/7 open everyday. The only time I would like to go is at 1 am cause it won't be crowed, and I can go with one of my co workers that I can say is my brother. . I don't plan on going in the morning at all cause I try to wake up early, I can't I don't wake up till 12pm before work at 1pm. I don't always have the car either. After work I don't go sleep till 2-4am all the time cause I come home hungry or used this time as my free time before the next day. I wanted to use that time to go out or go to the gym. They think it's not good to go late. I tell them it's like me getting off at 2am somtimes at work. They think it's not safe to walk to my car at the gym, but it's safe to walk to my car at work that'a an grocers store in an bad neighborhood and I had to park at least 20-60ft away from the door and not in camera sight. The gym is not far from my house, it's in the Same area, but I would be able to park close to the door like 5ft away from the door in cameras sight. I feel like I don't get respect here at home, cause I used all my checks for helping around the family, I don't used my checks for my self at all. I used it at least once every-month. But don't spend over 150$ just for my self. I'm trying to help around the house, but I get told I don't really help out at all, but they don't understand how much I time I don't get to my self like them... I thought it would be alright to go the gym late instead of going to parties that I have been asked to go to all the times. But I chose not to either way cause it's not my type to go out and get messed up like any other teenager at 16-19 would do. I get told that I don't act mature and I get told I act like a 13 yr old. Idk why they say that, but I am over here helping and doing as much as I can before work/school/ training also and etc. I think this is the time for me to move out...

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  • ccsmod9
    replied
    RE: Please help.!!

    Hello,
    Thank you for reaching out to us. It seems like you’re tired of living at home and you have decided that you want to get out. It is admirable that you are looking for the best steps to take in order to better your future. One thing that you can look into is a Transitional Living Program in your area. Typically a program like this would provide youth, which have nowhere to live, with safe housing as well as services that help develop skills to aid you in being independent. You can research these programs on your own or you can also contact here at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can help see if there are any in your area. Another option may be looking into Job Corps. Job Corps is an education and training program that helps young people learn a career, earn a high school diploma or GED, and find and keep jobs. The Job Corps hotline number is 1-800733-5627. You seem to be on the right path for bettering your future. If you want to speak any further please don’t hesitate to contact us directly. We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.
    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Please help.!!

    Hi Im 18 and i really want to live on my own now I've always have had family problems and its just hell living with my mom and little sister i really want to move on and be independent I'm not planning of running away because I know I don't have no where to go my dad has his life with his girlfriend and he's barley here for me I have no friends no job and its hard as hell to find one I'm getting so tierd asking family members and my boyfriend for money to put gas for my car everytime my mom get mad for stupid reasons she threatens me shes going yo take my car because its under her name because back then i didn't have a license back then i really dont want to rent an apartment with my boyfriend because i know im going to say bye to all of my freedom im just wondering if there is any program that the government helps you get an apartment or something or sends you money every month ive herd of things like that but i don't know where i can get more information on that if you know anything about that please help me out i really want to learn to be independent and not depend on anyone anymore I'm getting really depressed and frustrated in this house and this supposed family i have

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  • ccsmod0
    replied
    re: i cant stand my family anymore

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out today and sharing a bit of your story with us. It sounds like you are going through so much at home – the verbal and emotional abuse sounds so difficult. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve to be valued and celebrated for who you are, not put down or made to feel less than. It’s clear that this is a pretty overwhelming time, so we’re glad that you reached out. Let’s see how we can help you out today.

    You mentioned that you have a lot of online friends. That’s great and they seem to be a source of support for you. You’re right, obviously that not everyone online is dangerous. It sounds like your parents are struggling to realize that. That sounds like it’s really frustrating for you. One idea to make this better might be to think through ways that you can convince your parents that you are staying safe online. That might make them more open to giving you the privacy that you deserve. Take a look at this website to get some ideas: https://www.staysafeonline.org/stay-safe-online/

    Feeling really overwhelmed like the way you’re feeling can be really exhausting. You’re working on figuring out your religion, gender identity and what your relationships look like. Thinking through who you can reach out to for support during this time can be a helpful way to make it at home for the next couple of years. Building up as much support around you, even if that’s little by little, can be a good next step. One resource that you can start with is the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564. Also this can be a good one too http://www.translifeline.org/. It looks like Trans Lifeline is there for people who may be struggling with their identity or just have questions about their gender identity. Those two organizations can be supports for you too.

    We hope that this is a helpful start. Please know that we are here to talk 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you don’t feel comfortable calling, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time. We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i cant stand my family anymore

    The past year my family has pressured me to be the best at everything, whenever im happy with who i am it isnt good enough for them, im to the point i hide everything i have to hide the fact im practically a female even though im a guy, i have to hide the fact im a wiccan when EVERYONE around me is a christian and i was recently engaged at 15 which i have to hide because my fiance is a girl i game with across the country im moving to after high school, i cant stand how my family talks to me, i used to be abused physically and now just verbally, emotionally and mentally by them, my dad cant stand me anymore, if i try to say whats on my mind it just pisses him off and he gets mad and yells at me, i have no freedom to the point im not even allowed in my own room unless im doing chores or going to bed, i get my phone searched weekly, i cant even move my computer to a seperate room because they think im gonna be talking with people online which to them everyone online is dangerous or bad or wants to hurt me or my family, they dont let me see the real world, they shelter me from everything, i cant even go out with friends unless i give them a schedule practically of what we will be doing, what do i do? I cant stand living at home anymore and im only 15

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  • ccsmod3
    replied
    Re: I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

    Hello there,

    We’re glad you felt comfortable enough to share your situation. It sounds like you are a responsible older sibling to your baby brother, but at the same time would like more independence and trust from your mom and stepdad. You mentioned you are a good A and B student, although you feel your parents don’t appreciate your grades. You also mentioned the idea of moving out with your girlfriend once you both graduate from high school. We aren’t sure if that is before or after you turn 18; however, if you will be 18 at that time it tends to be easier from a legal standpoint. We’re definitely here to speak to your further about your situation as well as possible options. We’re so sorry to hear you feel useless and not appreciated at home. We imagine having a lack of privacy doesn’t make things easier either. To continue talking about things, we encourage you to try our Live Chat or calling in to 1-800-RUNAWAY. Hopefully, that gives you a start and things in your life eventually get better!

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    im 17 and i cant stand living with my parents

    hi im 17 and i live with my mom and step dad. i have a 2 year old brother. i take care of him all the time, even more than his own father which is my step dad. i could never go anywhere. everytime i want to go some where i cant because i got to watch my baby brother. i never get my own privacy. my parents dont even knock on the door before they come in. they just barge right in. they also never appreciate what i do. i do my best in school and they dont appreciate my grades. im a A's and B's student and they dont appreciate that. i have a beautiful girlfriend and i cant even see her. only in school i can. everytime my mom always wants to be right she always want to win. she never gives me a chance to speak never. i just cant live here no more. me and my girlfriend talked about moving out when we both graduate high school and continue on with our lives togheter. my mom also dont trust me at all she always thinks im lying thats why i cant even get my drivers licence yet. my life really sucks. thats why i rather be in school where i can be with my girlfriend and my friends that to be at home were i feel useless at.

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  • ccsmod9
    replied
    RE: I'm 17 & I can't stand living hear with my mom

    Thank you for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline where we are here to listen and here to help. We are sorry that you feel unheard when dealing with your mother. It is understandably frustrating and tiring to be yelled out and to have your freedom and privileges such as a cell phone taken away. Thank you for stretching beyond your present circumstances and being resourceful enough to reach out for help--especially seeing as though you don't have the level of support that you'd hope for.

    It seems as though you want an end to your situation, and you DO deserve a change to your situation. Since you have mentioned that you may want to kill yourself, we would encourage you to call the National Suicide Hotline. The telephone number is 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). They can talk you through your feelings about your situation without judgment. Your pain is not your fault, and it is your right to be heard and to have your concerns and feelings validated.

    It appears that you want some reciprocity. While you listen to your mom, you'd also like for her to do the same for you. This is a natural desire and it is regrettable that you are not getting what you need. Is there anyone aside from your mom who trust that you would feel comfortable talking about your situation you could talk to about your situation?

    As far as running away, we are not legal experts. What we can say is that it varies by state and your local police department as to the consequences for doing so. Depending on the state you are in, you may be free to leave without suffering legal consequences. For those youth who are under the age of majority, which is typically 18, running away is a status offense. We would really like to speak with you to learn more about your situation and to explore the options you have when dealing with this difficult situation.

    We would certainly love to connect with you via phone or chat. Our crisis line is available 24/7 and our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Our chat is available daily between the hours of 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST. Should you call us or chat with us, we would explore options with you to assist you in figuring out your best course of action. We hope to hear from you soon!

    Best,

    The National Runaway Safeline

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 17 & I can't stand living hear with my mom

    I'm 17 in high school, I'm a junior. I'll be 18 n 2 months. I'm not sure how to start this but my mom is always yelling at me because I don't listen & I don't help clean the house or I don't do anything but eat. Just today I was hanging out with my friends & she yelled at me cuz I came home late. Well sorry that I don't have my phone to tell you that I'm goig to be late. She also turned off my phone. She never listens to what I have to say & then she expects me to listen to her when she speaks. I jut feel like I should just run away or kill myself. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired of all this arguing.

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  • ccsmod10
    replied
    RE: My mother

    Hello there,

    It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot and reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline is a great step. We're not legal experts and every situation is different, but in most cities and states 17 year olds are considered minors, meaning your mom could file a runaway report and the police could return you to her home. Your boyfriend's mother could also potentially face legal trouble called 'harboring a runaway'.

    Are there any circumstances under which you can see yourself staying until you turn 18? It sounds like your boyfriend and his mother are a great network of support. Finding places like these to go and give yourself a break from everything at home can be helpful.

    You can also give us a call at 1800Runaway any time, every day of the week. We are also here on chat from 4:30 - 11:30p CT every day. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

    - NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My mother..

    Hello there,
    Well I don't know how to start this but I'm 17 an my father is deceased. He past away when I was 7 an we went into debt an almost lost everything my mother is a very hard working lady an I love her to death, but when I got to the age of 13 she changed she quit her job due to my brother who has autism an can only go to school 3 days a week which is understandable. It just when mom met her boyfriend an got remarried she got hooked on drugs for a long time an wouldn't come home for weeks she would just stop by to see us then leave. Their relationship finally ended when the cops came bc they were fighting an throwing plates an we thought things were going to get way better but they didn't. Now I have a boyfriend an we've been together for a year he moved away but I can drive to see him but mom has been so unappreciated of me I work all the time as a waitress from open to close an get 2 hour breaks an 5 days a week money is easy to get. When I come home I get yelled at for not helping around the house when I do my own laundry an buy my own food bc she'll say we eat up everything before My autistic brother gets any which is a lie. My boyfriends mother offered me to rent out there old house if I need it I want to do it so bad an I know I'd have the money I'm very hard working but she says no your mine till you graduate it's bc of a check that my mom gets from my dad for us 3 kids an plus the one for my disabled brother an i have never seen that money spent towards me my mom is kinda an alcoholic I just want things to get better I'm tired of feeling unappreciated in my own home when I help her all the time an she just yells at me an says if my dad was alive he'd beat your butt. I don't know what he'd say but I wish he was here I miss him more than anything an I know she just spends all the money she gets for us on herself bc she complains about not having money but how I mean I don't know how much she gets but isn't it a lot? I just want to know what options I have to get out. Or do I gotta stay like this for another year?

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  • ccsmod7
    replied
    Re: dont want to see my mom's face anymore

    We really appreciate you contacting us, we are here to help. It seems like you are having a tough time with your mom. You sound like you want to please her but then she always seems to make you feel like you didn't do enough. Have you talked about these feelings with your mom? Maybe explaining your frustrations would allow you both to communicate better when it comes to decision making. We can provide you with more resources and further explore your situation if you call our 24/7 confidential and ANONYMOUS hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are also available by live chat at 1800RUNAWAY.org from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST. We can talk more thoroughly about your situation and come up with a plan of action. We really hope to hear from you soon!

    Good luck,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    dont want to see my mom's face anymore

    Hi i am 13 turning 14 in a few months, and my mom has been constantly on my tail. She gives me choices and options to make in life but when i make one its not good enough for her. I just cant stand it anymore. Just today we went to the library to get books and she told me to get any book i wanted I see a book about college and what to know before you get and what to do to get to the best college. I thought she was going to be proud of me because I'm thinking about my future, but instead the response I get this why did you get this book? You don't to read this your no where near college? Why didn't you get a book about math or science? This started happening since the beginning of summer and I just can't take it anymore. She also nags me about what to wear. I mean I'm a guy does she expect me to be a slut or something. I have a low tolerance on things like this so if this happens one more time I'm sure that I'm not going to be able to contain my anger. Please somebody help me.

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  • ccsmod6
    replied
    re: Don't want to be at home anymore

    Hi

    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about the way things are going for you at home. It sounds like your parents have become abusive over the past few months. Have you been able to inform anyone (i.e. school counselors, etc) about the abuse? It seems that Walsall College is a school located in Walsall, United Kingdom. If so, we would like to provide you with some alternative hotlines that might be able to assist. We are located in the United States and all of our resources are as well. Get Connected (0808 808 4994), Muslim Youth Helpline ( 0808 808 2008 ) and NSPCC/Childline UK (0800 1111) are some hotlines that might able to assist you with locating alternative safe housing options.

    We hope the information provided helps.

    Best Wishes
    ~NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod6; 06-23-2014, 02:51 AM.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Don't want to be at home anymore

    The last few months has been bad at my house my parents currently don't want me there they are showing me by abusive language and abuse. I have only just became 17 and I'm currently at walsall college and I don't have the money to get a flat need some advice who might help me.

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