I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

[ccsmod0]

re: i cant stand my family anymore

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out today and sharing a bit of your story with us. It sounds like you are going through so much at home – the verbal and emotional abuse sounds so difficult. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You deserve to be valued and celebrated for who you are, not put down or made to feel less than. It’s clear that this is a pretty overwhelming time, so we’re glad that you reached out. Let’s see how we can help you out today.

You mentioned that you have a lot of online friends. That’s great and they seem to be a source of support for you. You’re right, obviously that not everyone online is dangerous. It sounds like your parents are struggling to realize that. That sounds like it’s really frustrating for you. One idea to make this better might be to think through ways that you can convince your parents that you are staying safe online. That might make them more open to giving you the privacy that you deserve. Take a look at this website to get some ideas: https://www.staysafeonline.org/stay-safe-online/

Feeling really overwhelmed like the way you’re feeling can be really exhausting. You’re working on figuring out your religion, gender identity and what your relationships look like. Thinking through who you can reach out to for support during this time can be a helpful way to make it at home for the next couple of years. Building up as much support around you, even if that’s little by little, can be a good next step. One resource that you can start with is the LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564. Also this can be a good one too http://www.translifeline.org/. It looks like Trans Lifeline is there for people who may be struggling with their identity or just have questions about their gender identity. Those two organizations can be supports for you too.

We hope that this is a helpful start. Please know that we are here to talk 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you don’t feel comfortable calling, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time. We look forward to your call or chat.

Best of luck to you,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Please help.!!

Hi Im 18 and i really want to live on my own now I've always have had family problems and its just hell living with my mom and little sister i really want to move on and be independent I'm not planning of running away because I know I don't have no where to go my dad has his life with his girlfriend and he's barley here for me I have no friends no job and its hard as hell to find one I'm getting so tierd asking family members and my boyfriend for money to put gas for my car everytime my mom get mad for stupid reasons she threatens me shes going yo take my car because its under her name because back then i didn't have a license back then i really dont want to rent an apartment with my boyfriend because i know im going to say bye to all of my freedom im just wondering if there is any program that the government helps you get an apartment or something or sends you money every month ive herd of things like that but i don't know where i can get more information on that if you know anything about that please help me out i really want to learn to be independent and not depend on anyone anymore I'm getting really depressed and frustrated in this house and this supposed family i have

[ccsmod9]

RE: Please help.!!

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us. It seems like you’re tired of living at home and you have decided that you want to get out. It is admirable that you are looking for the best steps to take in order to better your future. One thing that you can look into is a Transitional Living Program in your area. Typically a program like this would provide youth, which have nowhere to live, with safe housing as well as services that help develop skills to aid you in being independent. You can research these programs on your own or you can also contact here at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can help see if there are any in your area. Another option may be looking into Job Corps. Job Corps is an education and training program that helps young people learn a career, earn a high school diploma or GED, and find and keep jobs. The Job Corps hotline number is 1-800733-5627. You seem to be on the right path for bettering your future. If you want to speak any further please don’t hesitate to contact us directly. We hope to hear from you soon. Good luck.
NRS

[No respect]

I get no free time or respect at home all the time.

I am 18 Turning 19 in the end of June, I'm a senior in high school I planed on leaving for the Air Force soon. Maybe this year now cause I can't stand living in a house with an dad that's achololic almost everyday and a mom that always yells and starts an arguments all the time with everyone, but I want to do at least 2 years in college. I am a good person, haven't done nothing bad in my life that are dealing with illegal substances or drinking. I don't get time to go do what I want to do all the time. Because we have 3 cars but out of them only one works. Which Is my car, supposedly it's not my car at all, but I do pay for the monthly bills and should of been under my name since last year. I go to school from 8am to 4:30pm depending on after school programs, I go to a program for the police department on Mondays and Thursdays to train from 6pm-9pm and the rest of the days I work all the time from 5:30pm 12am on weekend I work 1pm to 12am all the time. I get paid every week on Thursday like 300$ sometimes 350$. I chose to stay busy all the time to stay out of trouble. I always get complaints from them about me to start working out. I started an membership at my nearest gym that's 24/7 open everyday. The only time I would like to go is at 1 am cause it won't be crowed, and I can go with one of my co workers that I can say is my brother. . I don't plan on going in the morning at all cause I try to wake up early, I can't I don't wake up till 12pm before work at 1pm. I don't always have the car either. After work I don't go sleep till 2-4am all the time cause I come home hungry or used this time as my free time before the next day. I wanted to use that time to go out or go to the gym. They think it's not good to go late. I tell them it's like me getting off at 2am somtimes at work. They think it's not safe to walk to my car at the gym, but it's safe to walk to my car at work that'a an grocers store in an bad neighborhood and I had to park at least 20-60ft away from the door and not in camera sight. The gym is not far from my house, it's in the Same area, but I would be able to park close to the door like 5ft away from the door in cameras sight. I feel like I don't get respect here at home, cause I used all my checks for helping around the family, I don't used my checks for my self at all. I used it at least once every-month. But don't spend over 150$ just for my self. I'm trying to help around the house, but I get told I don't really help out at all, but they don't understand how much I time I don't get to my self like them... I thought it would be alright to go the gym late instead of going to parties that I have been asked to go to all the times. But I chose not to either way cause it's not my type to go out and get messed up like any other teenager at 16-19 would do. I get told that I don't act mature and I get told I act like a 13 yr old. Idk why they say that, but I am over here helping and doing as much as I can before work/school/ training also and etc. I think this is the time for me to move out...

[ccsmod6]

RE: I get no free time or respect at home all the time.

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at home making you wonder if moving out is what is best for you. From what you shared, it sounds like you have quite a busy schedule and are feeling like you would just like some support and respect when you come home. You seem to have big plans for yourself and you mentioned that you keep busy to avoid trouble. It is admirable of you to be tending to so many responsibilities at once and to be proactive about your future goals. However, we can imagine that it may be overwhelming at times to be balancing so many things. Sometimes it is important to set boundaries for ourselves to avoid becoming overly stressed. We do hope that you are finding time to relax and take care of yourself; the gym seems to be one thing that helps with self-care which is great.

In regards to moving out, that seems like it can be an option if you feel that is best for you and you feel that you are able to support yourself on your own. Living independently is a big step, and it is important to explore what you need to make it on your own as well as explore other options that are best for you. Something to be mindful of is knowing the age at which you are legally able to leave home. Generally speaking, as we are not legal experts, most states set the age of majority at 18 which means one is considered an adult or their own legal guardian. However, other states may set that age higher. Knowing your rights at your age will help you decide more if leaving home is currently an option. It may also be helpful to explore other plans as back-up such as if things do not work out, where will you go and how will you find the support you need? It sounds like talking to someone about how you are feeling might be helpful. We are always here to provide you with support and discuss your situation if you would like to talk more. We can also provide you with various resources if that is something that you are interested in. You can reach us by phone any time as we are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or by live chat everyday between the hours of 4:30PM and 11:30PM CST.

We wish you the best,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Almost Free Anyways

So, I'm 17 and I will be 18 in like 2 months. I have somewhere to go if and when i leave but my mother has told me she will call the cops on me amd try to purposefully get me arrested if i leave even a day before my birthday. I really want to leave a month before.....or now...now would be nice....I again have somewhere safe to go but my safe place is in a different state (I'm in MS and my safe place is in my family friends place in NM) what are some of the legal things i could run into by leaving now? Would the cops even get involved since I'm so close to 18?

[ccsmod8]

RE: Almost Free Anyways

Hello –

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on You stated a few times that you would feel “safe” or “safer” at your family’s friend’s house, is there something going on that makes you feel like you’re in serious danger? If so, you should always feel free to call the local police and have them come and check up on things.

We are sorry that you had to go through that. It must be very frustrating. Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. What typically happens in state though since you are under the age of majority (which is 18 in most states); your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away, but since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Again this does depend on your specific state laws and police policy. There are certain circumstances in which a police officer will not take a runaway report for a 17 year old, because they view them as adults already and are able to move out on their own. That’s why we suggested getting into contact with your local non-emergency police to ask them questions and get direct answers.

It sounds like you have been thinking about leaving for quite some time now though and that you have thought about having a very solid plan. What would your overall plan be (i.e housing options (how long you would be about to stay there), transposition, financial stability, school options, access to food/clothes, etc)? Sometimes having a detailed plan about what your next steps are going to be and laying them for your parents, it might help ease their mind about you leaving before turning 18. Does this sound like something that you’d be comfortable doing?

[Unregistered]

re. Almost Free Anyways

I have tried talking to my mom before and she always reacts the same... I don't understand it. although i suspect it has something to do with me being the oldest.

[ccsmod3]

Re: Almost Free Anyways

Hello again,

It certainly sounds like you're dealing with a frustrating situation and are facing even more pressure being the oldest. If you'd like to continue talking about your situation, please feel free to call or live chat with us. Good luck!

[Unregistered]

What should I do?

My mom and I have been snapping at each other lately for the smallest things. I proposed and idea of me going to live with my dad for awhile so we could have some time away from each other. She rejected this idea, citing that we had more than enough opportunities to be away from each other. I have searched online and I can't legally do this without her permission. What else can I do in order to get away from her for a bit?

[ccsmod11]

RE: What should I do?

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through a lot with your mom lately, and you are making some really great efforts to resolve some of the tension. Do you think that your mom would only oppose you going to stay with your dad? Perhaps if there is some other family or friends that you could stay with for a while that she would be more approving of, she would be open to that discussion. Alternatively, if she isn’t open to having you stay with someone, is there perhaps a place you could go after school, like an after school activity or a friend’s house, or when you all get in arguments? While you wouldn’t be out of the house completely for a while, she could perhaps be more accepting of you staying out of the house for a little longer during the day or when you need to cool off, giving you both a break. Sometimes even taking a walk around the neighborhood after an argument can help.
These can be really tough topics to talk about with parents, and it sounds like you are doing a great job already of trying to find a solution. Another option we offer is a conference call. This is when we talk with you and your mom and help facilitate the conversation between the two of you. This can sometimes help to find an option that can be good for the both of you.
Again, thanks for reaching out. It takes a lot to ask for help, and you are trying to figure out your options, which is great. If you would like to talk further, with or without your mom, don’t hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen 24/7.

[Sadness]

My mom

My mom don't want me in here house no more n I'm 14 n a half she took away my room she doesnt buy me stuff what should I do

[ccsmod11]

I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

Hi there and thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like home is really rough right now and that you aren’t sure what your options are. From what you shared, it seems like many of your needs aren’t being met. That must be so hard to not feel like you have the things that you need. Have you tried talking with your mom about how you feel? Sometimes if just one or two things change at home, it can make home feel more livable. Is there something that could change that would make you feel better? We are here 24/7 and completely confidential and free at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk with you. You can also chat with us from 4:30-11:30pm CST through our live chat at 1800runaway.org. We hope you’ll call us to talk more about your situation.

[DepressedandTroubled]

I'm about to reach my breaking point ,what do I do!!??

I'm currently a high school senior and I really don't even feel like it. My parents are so strict that they gang up, yell and bully me telling me im lazy and dont do anything to contribute to the house when im basically home because of their strictness! I've asked so many times to talk to them but they dont even bother listening to me. My dad especially, he doesnt care what i have to say , he just thinks that I just want "freedom to fly away "and I'm stupid and crazy and to just leave the house already so I can do whatever I want. All he does is rant on about a bunch of stuff he assumes I'll do if I hangout with friends , participate in senior events or school dances, while my mom just stands there watching me and not saying anything to help me when I'm busting out in tears. It frustrates me because I'm a 4.0 student, I've never done drugs, and i always listen to what they tell me to do like a robot . I also never get space when I'm mad to cool off they always are in my buisness and have to always check our phones when we aren't doing anything. My patience is done being tested,I lost it and I'm always feeling mad or depressed when we are fighting! How can I talk to them and what do I say so they can stop without fighting.

[ccsmod6]

RE: I'm about to reach my breaking point ,what do I do!!??

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From what you shared it sounds like you are overwhelmed with things at home. It seems that you are feeling like no matter what you do, your parents’ strictness interferes with your ability to connect and communicate with them. We imagine that may be frustrating for you. It sounds like you are doing well in school and take pride in that but begin to feel stressed by your parents. What do you think is the reason your parents may be keeping a close eye on you? From our experience and understanding of speaking with families going through similar situations, parents sometimes express their concern for their children in a different way than expected. We are wondering if this is the case with your parent’s’ strictness.

Regardless of your parents’ intentions, it sounds like you are feeling pressured and maybe even unsupported in some ways. It seems that you are interested in finding ways that you can communicate with them to build on your relationship with your parents. What do you need from your parents in order to improve home life? What do you think you can do to help remind your parents that they can trust you? Having someone to mediate a conversation may be a good start. This can be done in the form of counseling. If you need help locating counseling resources in your area, we would be happy to provide you with some referrals. NRS has a conference calling service where we may be able to serve as a mediator between you and your parents via phone. If you would like to learn more about our services and other resources available to you, please consider reaching out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org. Communication is the first step to improving things. Writing a letter about how you feel and what you would like from them can be another initial step in communicating with your parents.

In the midst of all of this, how have you been coping with the stress of home life? It is important to find ways that you can manage your stress and express your feelings through some form of an outlet (sports, hobbies, talking to a trusted friend or adult, counseling, etc).

If you would like to discuss more ways that you can improve home life and communicate with your parents, please reach out to us by phone or chat.

We wish you well and hope you take care.

Best,

NRS