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I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

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  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there, thanks so much for reaching out! It sounds like your living situation is incredibly hard and stressful! You do not deserve to be treated so poorly and we are here to help!
    We know you mentioned you are in danger of being abused by family. That must be so hurtful!! If you feel this is abuse, you do have a right to report it and learn more about other options like living with someone else. Child Help can help with these types of questions: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.
    We can also conference call with you to make a report if you want. Call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929.
    As far as running away, to leave home legally, in most states you have to be 18 and if you leave before that, your parents could file a runaway report with police and if they find you, they usually take you back home. If you left and were found by police and you disclosed any type of abuse to them, they likely would contact child protective services.
    We are here to talk about options, support you and give resources in your area. We are here to support you 24/7: call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or on live chat when it is available in the afternoons and evenings. We are here to help you! Best of luck! Call or reach out again anytime!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I there i Don't wanna live with my parents/family anymore because i be causing trouble i been depressed lately but i out of it i been running away i bei been threatened to be abuse with violence by one of my family members i moved with my dad i didont want to live with my father either i don't want to live with anyone from my family
    and i have a question for u like what is this for what do it do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about all that has been going on at home. It sounds like you are have been in a difficult situation for a long time and need independence.

    We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your mom files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a run away. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like having a conference call with a liner and your mom, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Another thing you could try would be to reach out to your local police to inquire how they handle runaway reports for 17 year olds. Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. If you need help finding this number or you want to walk through any of the options listed above with a liner, don't hesitate to give us a call.

    Good luck,

    NRS


    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Im 17 as most teenagers on here are saying, guess im nothing special here. As you can tell i want to run get away from my family but i have a few months until i turn 18. I live with my mother and my father lives far off but i cant stand him either. My problem with my mother is that she is so touchy on money and she gets all in my business sure that sounds like a typical mother but i was out with a friend and we went to walmart late that night but i forgot my phone in the car, (no big deal, its late and people should be asleep, nothing to worry about) when i get back to the car i look at my phone and find my mother called me 79 times and called the cops on me! I wasnt gone any longer than an hour at 1in the morning. I am not tracked my gps or anything but she should have known i was out with a friend or staying at a friends house. Calling the cops on me was too much.
    She complains about how i am going out too much when a few weeks ago she was the one saying i should go on dates more! She has money problems and blames it on me when i dont ask for much, i go somewhere and she asks for every detail, she is like a paranoid obsessive woman who has nothing better to do than harass me. I cant stay with a friend without her asking what im doing every other hour. Im not exaggerating either! I want to move out to a friends house who may take me in but i wont have a way of transportation after that and i would not know where to keep my clothes and computer for my online classes. I thought of getting a job like i did my junior year, (i had to get a job because my mother got in an accident and got paid less because her leg was injured) but this year i have too much classes and out of school curriculars. I need to get away from her, she stresses me out. My friends know how crazy she is too and its not from any sort of drug either, she is naturally obsessive. If there is anything i can do, please tell me

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  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,
    Thanks so much for reaching out. You sound like an intelligent, mature young person and we’re glad that you have big plans for yourself. It sounds like things at home are really tense with your sister and you feel that your home environment is getting in the way of your happiness. That’s completely understandable. We aren’t legal experts, but generally speaking if you are under 18 you need parental consent to leave home. If you think your mom would be open to letting you stay elsewhere, you might consider asking her for permission to stay with a friend or another family member. If you leave without permission, your mom would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to locate you they may return you home. That being said, sometimes police choose not to pursue 17-year-old runaways. Police policies vary from station to station, so you might want to call your local non-emergency police number to ask how they might handle your situation.
    Whatever your decision, we encourage you to take care of your well-being as much as you can, whether that’s talking to friends, reading, journaling, making art, or confiding in adults you trust.
    Thank you again for reaching out. We hope this was helpful and we encourage you to reach out by phone if you need additional resources or need help figuring out your options. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open. If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your feedback of our crisis services at the following link:
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    Stay safe!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i cant live here anymore. my sister made me break up with my boyfriend and lied and said he’s a rapist and made all of his friends turn against him. she’s 19 and still living at home. she comes home drunk every night and when my mom was out of town last weekend i came home to get something and saw that her abusive ex who she got a restraining order against was cuddled up with her inside. she beat down my door and broke it. my mom and my little sisters are all on her side. todzay we got in a fight at the table and my little sisters cried. i wish she would move out but she’s not. I’m 17 and a sophmore in highschool. i have a 4.08 gpa and i have very big plans for my future. i feel like being in this enviroment is prohibiting me from being happy and reaching my goals. i dont know what to do

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry that you’re going through that with your parents. Everyone needs support, including emotional support.

    One thing that can help with these situations is a support network. Think if you have people you can vent to about what you are going through. That can be other relatives, friends, or other trustworthy adults. It can sometimes ease the tension just to have someone to talk with.

    Another thing to think about is whether your parents realize how they are affecting you. You know your situation best, so this might not apply, but sometimes these difficulties can be miscommunications that can be worked out by communicating better.

    So, it might make sense to try to tell them what you need from them. And it might help to pick a time during the week when they are less stressed, and might be more open to what you have to say. It also might help for you to think about what you need from them specifically, and to define negative things they do and how they affect you. Sometimes writing out a list, so you are clear about what you want to say, can help too.

    It also might make sense to reflect on what you want. Think about what your life at 18 would look like, ideally. This transition to adulthood can be intimidating, and plenty of youth can get psyched out by it. By defining what you want, you might be able to figure out what specific next steps you want to take, and that might help you negotiate all these pressures. Even if you aren’t sure, it can help to start thinking about it.

    We hope these ideas help you with this tough situation that you’re in.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 17th and my parent keep telling me if I turned as soon as 18 they’ll kick me out. And I’m tired to listen to what they say. They never talk positive about me even I do work as much as I can. Sometime when I get sick and don’t do anything they say that I’m jest action up because I lazy to work. So I don’t want to do anymore. I go to school but don’t have any intresting in school by thinking about my parent want to throw me out as soon as I’m 18. They say I’m wasted, I’m useless.....

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that sharing your struggles can be intimidating so we appreciate your willingness to ask for help! It sounds like you’re in a really difficult place right now. Your girlfriend seems to be going through a lot and you want to be there for her, but your parents aren’t letting you go to her. You’re having a lot of overwhelming feelings in a society that’s not supportive of them. It’s important and admirable how important being there for your girlfriend is, but it seems like you’re also dealing with a lot and would like some help. So let’s talk about that.

    You mentioned that you’re having some difficulty with your adoptive parents. We understand why you may not want to discuss any more details on that situation on a public forum but if you decide you want to talk to someone about specifics, we have a 24/7, confidential hotline at 18007862929. We also have a confidential online messaging service after 4:30 on www.1800runaway.org. More specifics could help us discuss more specific options you have, but we still have some to explore.
    If you’re interested and comfortable, emancipation or other legal services about guardianship are possibilities to explore. We’re not legal experts so we can’t provide you with help if you choose to go down this route, but with some information on your location we can provide you with referrals to local legal services and general information. Another possibility about leaving home is running away. This can be a scary decision to make, and we would love to help talk you through it, although ultimately only you know what you feel comfortable with. When deciding whether or not to runaway it’s important to form a plan. This includes making you sure you have a place to stay, a way to support yourself, and even access to health care. If you don’t feel comfortable with these options, that’s alright. Leaving home may not be the option you feel comfortable with but hopefully we can try to make home more comfortable. Talking to your parents about how you feel about your home may help with communication and potentially create a change. If you want to discuss any of these possibilities further please give us a call!

    You also spoke about the difficulties your girlfriend is going through. If, unfortunately, you’re not able to provide her with the help you’d like to give her, maybe because of your parents or other obstacles, there are many hotlines that can be searched for online. Some of the most used ones are the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (18002738255), The Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (18006564673), and the National Eating Disorders Association (18009312237). You can also give her our number if you’re comfortable.
    It’s also important to take care of yourself. Talking to a school counselor or trusted adult, or friends who you feel comfortable sharing these things with could beneficial for you in feeling supported during this stressful time. Feel free to reach out to us further to discuss anything you’re feeling or any of the options we discussed. We really appreciate you taking the time to reach out to us and we hope we were able to provide you with some help!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi hi there I am having some trouble with my adopted parents and I dont wantknow to stay here anymore they keeping me away from.my family and my girlfriend 17 and im.not allowed to go.anywere I am a soft guy ppl say im gay bec I.have a soft heart but it got so.bad I.cry.most of.the.times and I.just wana run away just to see my gf for a little while she has been.through alot lately and I.wanaI be there but they say I can be there for her over a phone but I cant .imust eb with her I honestly.dunno.what to.do.i just need some advice .

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like things are really tough at home right now. You don’t deserve to be yelled at and treated poorly. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable at home. It sounds like your brother is someone that is a good support in your life. It can be helpful to talk with other people that are supportive like a teacher, school counselor, or other trustworthy adult as well as friends.
    It’s also really good that you are planning on making sure your education doesn’t suffer because of what is going on at home. We aren’t legal experts and it sounds like you are concerned about being able to enroll in your old school and move out. You may want to reach out to your local school district and police department and ask about moving out while still in school and whether you can enroll on your own.
    Some other things to think about if you plan to move out are how you and your brother would support your selves financially to be able to get housing, food, and other necessities. It sounds like you care for your parents and want your mom to get some help. It may help to talk to someone that your mom will listen to and see if they can help try to get your mom to seek help or maybe someone who can talk to your dad. Also, we offer a conference calling service and could mediate a conversation between you and your dad or mom and help keep things calm and productive. Also, you do have the right to file an abuse report about how your mom has been treating you the child abuse hotline is Child Help 800.422.4453 and if you want we can call with you if you do want to call and make a report.
    Thank you again for reaching out. We would be happy to further discuss your options if you want to give us a call or get in touch with us on chat. We are here for you 24/7, please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need us. We wish you the best of luck.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 17 going on 18 in 6 weeks. All my life my mom has been so controlling and just not a good mom. She got our whole family kicked out of our home and now me my dad and mom share a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom and I have to share a room with my dad even though I’m a female. My mom and dad argue everyday and I argue with my mom too. Everyday I step inside the house from school she’s yelling at me telling me to clean something up. She’s always cussing at me and it makes me cry and then she calls me a crybaby and I’ve just had enough of her sh**. I’m planning on moving out with my brother next semester when I’m 18 and going back to my other school. And I don’t ever want to talk to my mom again until she gets well because she’s mentally unstable. However because I still have school my parents think I can’t move out. I’ve only asked my parents if I can go back to my other school and they said no. But I never shared with them my plan to move out after the semester. I feel like this move with be very unexpected for them and create even more problems. What do I do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for writing to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like a lot has been going on and things have been really overwhelming for you. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you decided to reach out to us explore your options.
    We are sorry to hear that things are so stressful at home. It is great to see that a family member is willing to let you stay with them. While we are not legal experts but just speaking general if you are to leave home without your parents’ permission the police can bring you back home and whoever you are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway. However, since you are 17 actual laws can vary and can be a little more lenient. You could call the non-emergency number of your local police department to confirm what the actual law in your area is. Leaving home can be hard in many cases. You might want to think about how you might pay for food or other living expenses and how long your family member might be ok with you staying there for.
    This is a hard time and we are here to support you through this. If you would like you could reach out to us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or live chat with us and we would be happy to listen to you and explore your options. We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon.
    Best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm a 17 year old guy about to turn 18 in September. I talked to a family member and they said they could probably take me in. I'm tired of getting yelled at and always threaten by my grandad. He's always yelling at me and expects me to do EVERY single thing and never to hang out with friends! He said this is a push summer and that I'd better get used to it because the farm is over everything and that I'm not gonna have time to much of anything. I'm always working never have free time and there are things that I'm not even suppose to do but he's making me. I'm so tired of it and I just want to be out of this house/ off the farm all summer. He always complains when someone wants me to help them and then complains about me not having a social life or not be social. I don't know what to do, so that why I turned to you maybe you know of something I could do or someone I could tell this stuff.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,

    18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    NRS
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