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I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

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  • I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

    I'm 17 and a high school senior. My mom just recently had a baby, he's 3 months now. Lately in this house everything is argument. It all started because I did not want to go to church anymore. I told her that I did not want to preach anymore or go on Wednesdays night. If anything I would just go on Sundays. I'll be 18 in 4 months but it seems like the older I got the more restrictions I got from my mother. I live with both parents. My dad doesn't really get involved with the situation. He just tells me to not become another statistic and to finish my education. That is what I plan on doing. I am not a bad kid. I come home from school and help her with the baby. I don't mind helping because as her daughter I know that it is my responsibility to help. But my mom takes it to a whole new level. I come home lets say about 4pm and I help her till 9pm. Then I shower and start my homework about 10- 10:30. I got to sleep about 1 or 2 am. On weekends she doesn't let me go out unless I preach and not even that. She doesn't let me go out period. She asks me who I will be with, where I'm going, what exactly will I do, etc. If I go out its only for like 3 hours. She tells me she gives me "space" but I don't see it. She took the lock off my door and replaced it with one that doesn't have a lock. The reason for that was because she walked in my room one day and she thought I was doing some type of drug because I was extremely pale with purple lips. Turns out I was really sick and I wasn't aware of it. Anyways, I currently have a boyfriend (if she found out she would flip!) My dad met him and he likes him. My mom on the other hand wants me to marry someone from church. But during the summer she accused me of being a lesbian for the simple fact that my best friend slept over the house for a couple days. Like where else was she supposed to sleep!? After that incident I never brought my friend over again. My mom is really judgmental. She basis herself off looks. If they don't look "innocent" I can't be friends with them. I don't understand her. She tells me that she's protecting me from the world. But really she's just creating a child who has a lot of secrets. Strict parents create sneaky kids and that is what I have become. I want to move out when I turn 18 but I know that it'll turn into a big argument. I don't know what to do. There is so much more to this story but I need someone to talk to.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us about what’s going on. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and it was very brave of you to contact us. Sometimes telling someone about things that are going on can be incredibly difficult and scary; it’s great that you have told us.

    We are sorry to hear about everything that is going on right now and that your relationship with mom is so stressful for you. It also sounds like you have a lot going on with school and helping to take care of the baby. It also sounds like you are very involved with your church but would like to lessen that responsibility a little bit but when you mention it to your mom, it seems like she doesn’t listen. You said that your dad doesn’t really get involved in things with your mom; have you talked with him about how you are feeling? He may be able to help you brainstorm some ideas of how to talk with your mom about what you are feeling.

    You mentioned that you are thinking of leaving home when you turn 18 which is going to be in 4 months. Do you know where you may go or how you would survive? If you go to our website, there is a list of questions and suggestions that may be able to help you come up with some ideas (http://www.1800runaway.org/Should-I-Run-Away/).

    Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are a confidential and anonymous crisis line for youth. You can reach us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to talk more about what’s going on or to explore resources that may be available to you. You can also chat with us from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week; that can be found on our website (www.1800runaway.org).

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck!

    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I currently live with my mom in a house with two other people. They're older. They're not part of our family. My mom and I share a room and a bed. She gets so mad at me when I'm not home but I just feel so empty and worthless. I can't do anything right. My mom says horrible things to me that hurt really bad. I honestly just don't know what do to anymore.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out and posting on the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board. It sounds like you're having a hard time with your living situation. We're sorry to hear that your mom says horrible things to you. You should feel safe and secure at home and it sounds like you're struggling with that. We are here to listen and here to help however we can.

        Are you considering leaving home? If so, is there somewhere safe you can go? We don't tell people what to do, but we can help you explore some options. If you'd like to discuss this all further, consider giving us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available to talk and to listen 24/7. Conversely, you can chat with us by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red button in the upper corner. Chat is available from 4:30 to 11:30 pm Central time. We hope to hear from you soon.

        Best of luck,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Don't want to be at home anymore

          The last few months has been bad at my house my parents currently don't want me there they are showing me by abusive language and abuse. I have only just became 17 and I'm currently at walsall college and I don't have the money to get a flat need some advice who might help me.

          Comment


          • #6
            re: Don't want to be at home anymore

            Hi

            Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about the way things are going for you at home. It sounds like your parents have become abusive over the past few months. Have you been able to inform anyone (i.e. school counselors, etc) about the abuse? It seems that Walsall College is a school located in Walsall, United Kingdom. If so, we would like to provide you with some alternative hotlines that might be able to assist. We are located in the United States and all of our resources are as well. Get Connected (0808 808 4994), Muslim Youth Helpline ( 0808 808 2008 ) and NSPCC/Childline UK (0800 1111) are some hotlines that might able to assist you with locating alternative safe housing options.

            We hope the information provided helps.

            Best Wishes
            ~NRS
            Last edited by ccsmod6; 06-23-2014, 03:51 AM.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              dont want to see my mom's face anymore

              Hi i am 13 turning 14 in a few months, and my mom has been constantly on my tail. She gives me choices and options to make in life but when i make one its not good enough for her. I just cant stand it anymore. Just today we went to the library to get books and she told me to get any book i wanted I see a book about college and what to know before you get and what to do to get to the best college. I thought she was going to be proud of me because I'm thinking about my future, but instead the response I get this why did you get this book? You don't to read this your no where near college? Why didn't you get a book about math or science? This started happening since the beginning of summer and I just can't take it anymore. She also nags me about what to wear. I mean I'm a guy does she expect me to be a slut or something. I have a low tolerance on things like this so if this happens one more time I'm sure that I'm not going to be able to contain my anger. Please somebody help me.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: dont want to see my mom's face anymore

                We really appreciate you contacting us, we are here to help. It seems like you are having a tough time with your mom. You sound like you want to please her but then she always seems to make you feel like you didn't do enough. Have you talked about these feelings with your mom? Maybe explaining your frustrations would allow you both to communicate better when it comes to decision making. We can provide you with more resources and further explore your situation if you call our 24/7 confidential and ANONYMOUS hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are also available by live chat at 1800RUNAWAY.org from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST. We can talk more thoroughly about your situation and come up with a plan of action. We really hope to hear from you soon!

                Good luck,
                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  My mother..

                  Hello there,
                  Well I don't know how to start this but I'm 17 an my father is deceased. He past away when I was 7 an we went into debt an almost lost everything my mother is a very hard working lady an I love her to death, but when I got to the age of 13 she changed she quit her job due to my brother who has autism an can only go to school 3 days a week which is understandable. It just when mom met her boyfriend an got remarried she got hooked on drugs for a long time an wouldn't come home for weeks she would just stop by to see us then leave. Their relationship finally ended when the cops came bc they were fighting an throwing plates an we thought things were going to get way better but they didn't. Now I have a boyfriend an we've been together for a year he moved away but I can drive to see him but mom has been so unappreciated of me I work all the time as a waitress from open to close an get 2 hour breaks an 5 days a week money is easy to get. When I come home I get yelled at for not helping around the house when I do my own laundry an buy my own food bc she'll say we eat up everything before My autistic brother gets any which is a lie. My boyfriends mother offered me to rent out there old house if I need it I want to do it so bad an I know I'd have the money I'm very hard working but she says no your mine till you graduate it's bc of a check that my mom gets from my dad for us 3 kids an plus the one for my disabled brother an i have never seen that money spent towards me my mom is kinda an alcoholic I just want things to get better I'm tired of feeling unappreciated in my own home when I help her all the time an she just yells at me an says if my dad was alive he'd beat your butt. I don't know what he'd say but I wish he was here I miss him more than anything an I know she just spends all the money she gets for us on herself bc she complains about not having money but how I mean I don't know how much she gets but isn't it a lot? I just want to know what options I have to get out. Or do I gotta stay like this for another year?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    RE: My mother

                    Hello there,

                    It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot and reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline is a great step. We're not legal experts and every situation is different, but in most cities and states 17 year olds are considered minors, meaning your mom could file a runaway report and the police could return you to her home. Your boyfriend's mother could also potentially face legal trouble called 'harboring a runaway'.

                    Are there any circumstances under which you can see yourself staying until you turn 18? It sounds like your boyfriend and his mother are a great network of support. Finding places like these to go and give yourself a break from everything at home can be helpful.

                    You can also give us a call at 1800Runaway any time, every day of the week. We are also here on chat from 4:30 - 11:30p CT every day. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

                    - NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm 17 & I can't stand living hear with my mom

                      I'm 17 in high school, I'm a junior. I'll be 18 n 2 months. I'm not sure how to start this but my mom is always yelling at me because I don't listen & I don't help clean the house or I don't do anything but eat. Just today I was hanging out with my friends & she yelled at me cuz I came home late. Well sorry that I don't have my phone to tell you that I'm goig to be late. She also turned off my phone. She never listens to what I have to say & then she expects me to listen to her when she speaks. I jut feel like I should just run away or kill myself. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired of all this arguing.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        RE: I'm 17 & I can't stand living hear with my mom

                        Thank you for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline where we are here to listen and here to help. We are sorry that you feel unheard when dealing with your mother. It is understandably frustrating and tiring to be yelled out and to have your freedom and privileges such as a cell phone taken away. Thank you for stretching beyond your present circumstances and being resourceful enough to reach out for help--especially seeing as though you don't have the level of support that you'd hope for.

                        It seems as though you want an end to your situation, and you DO deserve a change to your situation. Since you have mentioned that you may want to kill yourself, we would encourage you to call the National Suicide Hotline. The telephone number is 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). They can talk you through your feelings about your situation without judgment. Your pain is not your fault, and it is your right to be heard and to have your concerns and feelings validated.

                        It appears that you want some reciprocity. While you listen to your mom, you'd also like for her to do the same for you. This is a natural desire and it is regrettable that you are not getting what you need. Is there anyone aside from your mom who trust that you would feel comfortable talking about your situation you could talk to about your situation?

                        As far as running away, we are not legal experts. What we can say is that it varies by state and your local police department as to the consequences for doing so. Depending on the state you are in, you may be free to leave without suffering legal consequences. For those youth who are under the age of majority, which is typically 18, running away is a status offense. We would really like to speak with you to learn more about your situation and to explore the options you have when dealing with this difficult situation.

                        We would certainly love to connect with you via phone or chat. Our crisis line is available 24/7 and our phone number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929). Our chat is available daily between the hours of 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST. Should you call us or chat with us, we would explore options with you to assist you in figuring out your best course of action. We hope to hear from you soon!

                        Best,

                        The National Runaway Safeline
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          im 17 and i cant stand living with my parents

                          hi im 17 and i live with my mom and step dad. i have a 2 year old brother. i take care of him all the time, even more than his own father which is my step dad. i could never go anywhere. everytime i want to go some where i cant because i got to watch my baby brother. i never get my own privacy. my parents dont even knock on the door before they come in. they just barge right in. they also never appreciate what i do. i do my best in school and they dont appreciate my grades. im a A's and B's student and they dont appreciate that. i have a beautiful girlfriend and i cant even see her. only in school i can. everytime my mom always wants to be right she always want to win. she never gives me a chance to speak never. i just cant live here no more. me and my girlfriend talked about moving out when we both graduate high school and continue on with our lives togheter. my mom also dont trust me at all she always thinks im lying thats why i cant even get my drivers licence yet. my life really sucks. thats why i rather be in school where i can be with my girlfriend and my friends that to be at home were i feel useless at.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I'm 17 and I can't stand living in this house anymore!

                            Hello there,

                            We’re glad you felt comfortable enough to share your situation. It sounds like you are a responsible older sibling to your baby brother, but at the same time would like more independence and trust from your mom and stepdad. You mentioned you are a good A and B student, although you feel your parents don’t appreciate your grades. You also mentioned the idea of moving out with your girlfriend once you both graduate from high school. We aren’t sure if that is before or after you turn 18; however, if you will be 18 at that time it tends to be easier from a legal standpoint. We’re definitely here to speak to your further about your situation as well as possible options. We’re so sorry to hear you feel useless and not appreciated at home. We imagine having a lack of privacy doesn’t make things easier either. To continue talking about things, we encourage you to try our Live Chat or calling in to 1-800-RUNAWAY. Hopefully, that gives you a start and things in your life eventually get better!
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              i cant stand my family anymore

                              The past year my family has pressured me to be the best at everything, whenever im happy with who i am it isnt good enough for them, im to the point i hide everything i have to hide the fact im practically a female even though im a guy, i have to hide the fact im a wiccan when EVERYONE around me is a christian and i was recently engaged at 15 which i have to hide because my fiance is a girl i game with across the country im moving to after high school, i cant stand how my family talks to me, i used to be abused physically and now just verbally, emotionally and mentally by them, my dad cant stand me anymore, if i try to say whats on my mind it just pisses him off and he gets mad and yells at me, i have no freedom to the point im not even allowed in my own room unless im doing chores or going to bed, i get my phone searched weekly, i cant even move my computer to a seperate room because they think im gonna be talking with people online which to them everyone online is dangerous or bad or wants to hurt me or my family, they dont let me see the real world, they shelter me from everything, i cant even go out with friends unless i give them a schedule practically of what we will be doing, what do i do? I cant stand living at home anymore and im only 15

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