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running away from missouri at 15

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  • running away from missouri at 15

    I can't take it here anymore,
    Code:
    (1:02:23 AM) Solixa: 2: Home - no peace. always fighting, 110% dysfunctional family
    (1:02:35 AM) Solixa: i got mom over here screaming about crazy ********
    (1:02:40 AM) Someone: why do you let it bother you so much
    (1:02:42 AM) Solixa: wanting to shoot us then kill her self
    (1:02:51 AM) Solixa: shes even yelling at me right now
    (1:02:59 AM) Solixa: but i just told her i was about to kick her in the face, because really, i can't handle this anymore.
    (1:03:04 AM) Solixa: and she went away
    (1:03:31 AM) Someone: you still could give CPS a try but I would just tough it out for another year....
    (1:03:36 AM) Solixa: i got her screaming at me to get batteries from garrett's room
    (1:03:48 AM) Solixa: i got garrett screaming at me saying hes gunna beat my ass
    (1:04:02 AM) Solixa: mom still screaming now
    (1:04:05 AM) Solixa: telling me to go to bed
    (1:04:10 AM) Solixa: with her out there on the computer all night
    (1:04:14 AM) Solixa: and a movie blasting
    Just a conversation with a friend, explains a bit.

    another reason why i want to leave is school.
    i go to a DYS School, because im on probation.
    and well, it's.... messed up, it causes me so much stress, then having to go to groups afterwards ( outpatient rehab)
    then coming home to my wonderful family...

    I want to run away, possibly out of state.
    what would happen if i did/did not run out of state?
    and would i go to juvenile if caught?
    I feel like im already in an eight feet deep hole, and it's just getting deeper and I have to get out
    i really don't think i could mentally/emotionally withstand this hole getting any deeper, such as going to juvy, or probation worsening
    Its to the point where im having suicidal thoughts very often, life isn't worth living.

    please... please help me, i dont know what else to do, i can't stand being so caged, then mentally ( often physically ) beat.

  • #2
    Re: running away from missouri at 15

    Hi, thanks for contacting us. Sorry to hear that things are so combative at home. How long has things been like this with your mom? Sounds like you are under a lot of stress. It must be so hard when you feel you are on your last straw.
    You said you are on probation. That means you would go to detention if you got picked up by police. You mentioned that you didn't want to get into a deeper "hole." Do you think running away would help with that or make it worse?
    You mentioned you are suicidal. Do you have anyone who supports you? Maybe a friend online? If you do need someone to talk to you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
    As bad as things are now, and you probably won't believe this, you can get out of this hole and be able to take control of your own life someday. Don't lose hope. Please call us if you need anything.

    Good luck and hang in there,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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