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  • 14 runaway in Washington state

    My friend is going to be running away, she is 14 and every other attempt she has made to stop the abuse and be removed from her home has not worked. CPS have investigated her family multiple times but no one ever believes her, she's gone to counselors about it, everything. Running away would be her best bet and safest. She's going to leave a note saying why she's running away and that she'll be safe.
    My question, will my dad and I get in trouble for keeping her at my house? My dad said she could live with us but he doesn't know that she would be running away. My friend will be staying at another friends too but were planning on her actually living with me. Should I just not tell my dad so if shes found he wont get in trouble due to not knowing? She can not stay there any longer or she's going to end up killing herself, its that bad.
    What are good options? And how should we go about registering her into school?

  • #2
    re: 14 runaway in Washington state

    Hi and thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that your friend is living in an unsafe situation and that little seems to be changing for her. It is great that she trusts you and can reach out to you for support. You have some really great questions and it seems like you two are thinking ahead of what might happen. Although we are not legal experts, we can answer your question in a general way. Generally speaking running away is considered a status offense. Harboring a runaway, or your dad having a runaway live with him, is usually considered against the law. So while you might not want to tell your dad about what is going on, the reality is that he could be at risk of committing a criminal offense.

    You asked about other options and in addition to filing additional reports, she could also consider going to a youth shelter. Depending on where you are located, the National Safe Place might have a shelter location nearby http://nationalsafeplace.org/find-a-...ate=Washington.

    If your friend ever is feeling suicidal or like there is no other way out, she can always call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. We are also here 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY or from 4:30-11:30pm CST. Best of luck to you both.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      If she needs financial support have her contact my friend at [email address taken out to preserve confidentiality] hes helped runaways get over what they were going through before.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 14 runaway in Washington state

        Hello there,

        We appreciate your support; however, we could not publicly post your friend's email address in order to maintain confidentiality on our bulletin boards. If you have any questions, you can always contact us 24/7at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us by clicking the red Live Chat button on www.1800runaway.org everyday from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST.


        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Im Aidan and im also 14, i hate where im living. my family verbally abuses me 24/7 and my 18 year old sister yells at me and im stuck thinking on what i did.. kids at my school call me a faggot and tell me to kill myself and that has been making me get some thoughts in my head that i don't want.. i just want to live in a place where no one yells at me and no one makes fun of me and idk where to go..

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello Aiden, Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a hard time living at home with your sister yelling at you and We are sorry to hear you are called names at school, we imagine that does not make things any easier. No one deserves to be bullied and you might find some helpful tips to deal with bullying here: http://www.stopbullying.go. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place w-here you feel depressed. We want you to know that you are not alone and we care about you. If you feel comfortable -we would like to talk to you more about what you are experiencing and the options you have. 1-800-786-2929
            Bet wishes,
            NRS

        • #6
          Hi, I’m Chloe. And I am planning to run away. I left a note, and packed a
          bag. I’m not trying to hurt anyone, but I can’t keep getting yelled at for no reason. At school, I get body shamed, I’m permanently disabled. Idk what I should do. I’ve done everything, and nothing has helped

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi Chloe,

            Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.

            One option we have here at the National Runaway Safeline is a conference call. We could get you and your parents on the phone with us at the same time, and we could make sure that you are able to say how you are feeling. Hopefully we could also come up with a plan together for you to feel better at home. Sometimes it helps to have some support when talking to adults, and we are here to help you if that’s what you want to do. If you haven’t, you could also consider talking to your parents/guardians about how you’ve been feeling or have someone else help you talk to them.

            If you do end up deciding to run away, we want you to know that you can always call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY at any time of day (we are 24 hours. We have a computer database of runaway/homeless shelters and could see what is around you so you are not on the street.

            We are here to support you in whatever decision you make. It takes courage and maturity to reach out to us like you have, and we want home to be a safe place for you. We appreciate you contacting us, and hope you will again in the future if needed.

            Best, NRS

        • #7
          Hi, I'm Mia. My family has verbally abused me for reasons I don't know and for being gay, adopted, dark skinned, and overweight. My brother hurts me but my parents don't believe me when I tell them what he does and my dad yells at me; at school I'm judged for being black and body shamed. I'm planning on running away and soon. I don't know where to go and I want to change my name so they can't find me, I don't know what to do nobody listens to me.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello Mia,

            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes a great deal of courage to seek help and share something so personal. We are very sorry to hear that your family is verbally abusive towards you, your brother hurts you, and you are you are teased at school. You don't deserve to be treated badly, regardless of you skin tone, body type, or sexuality. Talking to someone about what you are going through could help. The LGBT National Hotline (1-888-843-4564) glbthotline.org and www.stopbullying.gov are two resources that you may find useful.

            You mentioned that you are planning on running away soon. Having a plan about where you would go and how you would take care of yourself is important. If you runaway from home, your family has the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Running away is not illegal but if you decide to stay with a friend, they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. If you do decide to leave home and need a safe place to go, we could assist you in finding local resources such as youth shelters or transitional living programs. You could try asking your family if they would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. You could also look into emancipation laws for your state. One final option would be to contact Child Protective services if you feel unsafe at home.

            If you would like additional resources or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline(1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

            Good Luck

        • #8
          My child has a best friend who is being abused. She is talking about running away because no one is helping her. She has reported it but her parents covered it up. She is 14 and is afraid that if she does not leave her parents will harm her or she will become suicidale as a result. We know we can't hide her. But want to find her help. I am trying to find her help in our state of washington.

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out on behalf of this youth. It is clear that you really care about her and are trying your best to help her. We are so sorry to hear about what she has been facing at home.

            It sounds like she has reported the abuse in the past, but, unfortunately, it hasn’t ended in a safer situation. There is never a guarantee of a particular result when filing an abuse report, but sometimes it can help to report multiple times, especially if the youth continues to be threatened or abused.

            There is certainly no pressure to do so if the youth doesn’t feel comfortable, but if she decides that she does, we would be happy to walk through the process. Or, if she’d prefer to do it on her own, she could initiate the process by calling the Child Help hotline number at 1-800-422-4453. Typically what happens is that an operator will collect some of the youth’s information and will then transfer them to the correct agency in their area to move forward with making the report.

            But, there may be other options as well. If the youth’s parents gave the go-ahead for her to stay with a relative, friend, or other trusted adult, then it would be fine for her to do that, even for a long period of time. If she hasn’t asked them about this before, that might be something she could try.

            If they wouldn’t give permission for her to stay somewhere else though, another option might be for the youth to stay at a youth shelter. If she wanted to give us a call, we would be happy to assist with looking those up and calling them to see if there are any openings. Or, you can also find many shelter resources at this site: https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ as well.

            You also mentioned that the youth may be or may become suicidal. If the youth is experiencing these thoughts or feelings, it is good for them to know there is help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a good resource and can be called anytime, 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.

            If you or the youth have other questions or would like to talk through any of the options we’ve mentioned, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

            Best of luck,
            National Runaway Safeline

        • #9
          Hi I’m a fourteen year old from Washington state. Me and my friend both live in homes where we feel pressured to be perfect in every way. Our parents constantly are pressuring us to do good in school. My family has had multiple family members go to jail and so much other drama is just a daily thing at this point. Consoling helps sometimes but due to them having to call our parents if we say anything about hurting ourselves or anything in that general area we can’t talk about what we are thinking. At school, we have been bullied, body shamed, and sexually assaulted. Even just yesterday we went to the community park and we’re almost jumped by a group of girls even though we didn’t know them and didn’t speak to them. We need a break for at least a couple days. We have a plan and money. We would leave notes for our parents saying we were okay but not where we were going. Is it illegal for us to run away from home?

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re so sorry to hear what you and your friend are going through at home and at school. You mentioned thinking about hurting yourself. If these thoughts are still happening, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 anytime. Even if you’re not suicidal, this is a great resource and they will be able to listen to you without telling your parents.
            You also mentioned being sexually assaulted at school. This is never okay and you deserve to feel safe at home and at school. If you feel comfortable reporting this, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929), or RAINN, the Rape Abuse Incest National Network, at 1-800-856-4673. You can also talk to a teacher or school counselor, who are required to report child abuse/assault if they have the appropriate details.
            To answer your original question, running away is not illegal, meaning that you won’t get arrested or go to jail if you are found, but it is a status offense. This means that you aren’t allowed to run away because you are a minor. So if your parents file a runaway report and the police find you, they will be required to bring you home. Also, if you are staying at someone’s house, that person could get in trouble for harboring a runaway, so that’s something else to keep in mind. If you do decide to leave home, it’s good that you have a plan and money. Please stay safe. Best of luck with everything, and please call us if you need anything else. We’re here for you 24/7.

        • #10
          I wanna run away so bad idk what to do anymore

          Comment


          • #11
            Reply: I wanna run away

            Hello,
            Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

            We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            We hope to hear from you soon.

            Take care,
            NRS


            We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #12
              I live in Washington State I am 14 years old and I want to run away. I won’t get into why but I want to leave a note telling them that I am running away and that I will be safe. I have many friends that voluntarily let me sleep at their house, it’s not a problem me being unsafe because I would always have a roof over my head and food to eat but I am scared if my mom or dad will try to find me and hurt me once they do and I don’t want the cops to be involved. I don’t want to run away for an extremely long time just enough for them to get an idea of how serious I am about what changes need to be made. I don’t know what to do.
              Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-29-2019, 02:46 AM.

              Comment


              • #13
                How much time must lapse befor you can call the 14 year old in as being a runaway

                Comment


                • ccsmod13
                  ccsmod13 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hello,

                  Thank you for reaching out to NRS! We are not legal experts, but we can share some general information from what we know. If a legal minor leaves home without permission of their parent/guardian, then the parent/guardian has the right to file a runaway report. You do not necessarily have to wait any minimum amount time before filing the report; however, the way police take runaway reports can vary by state and department. The police department in your area will be able to give you more information about their protocol if you reach out to them by calling the non-emergency number.

                  Please give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org if you have any other concerns!

                  Take care,
                  NRS

              • #14
                My 16 year old daughter runs away in WA state. I filed a runaway report with police. After 2 weeks daughter moves in with her aunt. Police take her off runaway list. They will not bring her home because at 16 you can freely leave. The aunt is now requesting $250 a month for child support based on having physical custody. I want my daughter to come home. How can a 16 year old legally leave home then request child support?

                Comment


                • ccsmod1
                  ccsmod1 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hey there,

                  Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you care a lot about your daughter's well-being and your local police department's response must be really frustrating. We aren't legal experts here at NRS but generally, someone would need to have full legal custody to request child support. It may be beneficial to work with a local legal aid group to discuss steps you can take. You can find legal aid groups near you by going to https://www.lawhelp.org/find-help/.

                  If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                  We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                  Stay safe,
                  NRS

              • #15
                I want to leave to my sisters house but I didn’t want to get in trouble or get anyone in trouble.
                what will happen if I do leave without permission? I’m 17. The reason I want to go is because my mom rented a room downstairs with me to a guy. I told her I didn’t want him down there with me. I don’t feel safe. Her boyfriend has already touched me in places I didn’t like and he stares at my private areas too. I haven’t told anyone because I know my mom needs the money. Lately she’s been really mean with me and I try to talk with but she just gets mad calls me things like bastard and stupid and when she looks at me in a bad way for no reason she expects me to deal with it and not ask why is she looking at me like that. I just wanna leave I don’t wanna be here I’m so tired of her treating me like that. What should I do?

                Comment


                • ccsmod0
                  ccsmod0 commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hi there,
                  Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
                  While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
                  If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
                  We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
                  Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
                  If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
                  Be safe,
                  NRS

                  Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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