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  • #16
    I'm 17 years old and I want to move back to Colorado for my senior year and live with a family friend from my moms side but my father (current guardian) said he won't let me move back even if it was to live wth my mother. He also told me to leave the house within 30 days in an argument yesterday... am I allowed to "runaway" with this verbal permission? What are my options to move states if I have permissions from everyone except my primary guardian if I'm planning on living with an old "father figure" from growing up?

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there, thanks for reaching out.

      It sounds like you are wanting to move at 17, but your dad is your legal guardian and will not let you, but then told you to leave the house. That seems like a really frustrating to be told 2 different things like that.

      So you can live anywhere with your guardian’s permission. Unfortunately, guardians can give permission and then change their mind and tell you to come home. Also, if your dad has sole custody of you, it does not matter if noncustodial adults give you permission to leave since they do not have parental rights over you. You might ask your mom if she has any custody over you and if she would be willing to go to court over custody issues.

      It is technically illegal for your dad to kick you out with nowhere to go. Child protective services might find that as neglect, and you do have the right to report it if you ever feel like you need to. If you are interested in reporting, you might call Child Help to learn about what that might look like fore you 1-800-422-4453.

      Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk more about your situation, and help brainstorming additional options.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #17
    Hi, I live with my aunt and uncle. Recently, we've been having lots of fights. She's threatened to send me home countless times before. We tried counselling one time, but the one time we did, the counselor told me what I needed to do, but once she told my guardians what they need to do, they stopped family counselling. I guess they didn't like criticism, which they should have taken because here we are. Last night, I was cleaning a dish and my aunt blew up at me. I told her if she could simply stop hovering and she yelled at me and told me to go pack my bags. My uncle just played on his IPad (he does this a lot) and just agreed with everything she said while not really listening when this went down and I was forced to be yelled at over something so little. I tried talking to her, but she ended up telling me that I was "arguing" with her. I tried to talk to her again today but she twisted my words. I get they have been under a lot of stress, but I don't want to go home. My guardians are threatening to send me back to my biological mom in Arkansas. The problem is home in Arkansas is hectic and dangerous for me. My stepdad that lives there has assaulted me before. I'm scared to go back. Where I used to live in Mena, people get pregnant at a young age, people do drugs at a young age, and girls are disrespected. I know that if I go back, i'm afraid the same thing will happen to me. My guardians accepted me into their house so I could have a better education and life. I will not succeed in Arkansas, my life in California is bright. I don't know how to stop them from sending me back, I just know I can't go back. What can I do to stay in California? How can I fix my relationship with my guardians here? I need help or advice ASAP. They plan to send me back this Saturday. Please help this is my last resort really. I'm sorry it's so long, just hoped a backstory could help you guys help me.

    Comment


    • #18
      Reply: Hi, I live with my aunt and uncle.


      Hello,
      Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

      We appreciate you sharing what’s been going on.
      Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn. It sounds like you want to stay with your aunt and uncle and you’re looking for a way that might help communicate that.
      We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

      Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Take care,
      NRS

      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #19
        My mom and dad are kicking me out and i am only 17. When I leave is that child abandonment?
        What do I do? She also hit me for the first time.

        Comment


        • #20
          Reply: My mom and dad are kicking me out

          Hello,

          You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

          If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

          Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.

          Take care,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #21
            I'm 17 and was caught sneaking a guy out my house. I know he could've got into trouble for doing that, and the night it happened, she kicked me out and only came to search for me knowing that both of us could've gotten into trouble for that. I came back in the morning still being told to leave her house, now it's been 2 days and she's telling me to find out what I'm going to do this next week. I'm assuming she means leave. She wants me to get emancipated or runaway so she can report me and have me removed out the house, but now I'm not sure what to do because I'm not trying to get him or myself in trouble, and I want to stop being troublesome for my mother. If someone else takes me in and she later reports me as a runaway, although she told me to leave, will I be taken back home or in trouble with the police, or what? Thank you.

            Comment


            • ccsmod15
              ccsmod15 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are having a difficult time at home with your mother. It can be stressful figuring out where you can stay and what would happen if you were to leave home. It’s good that you’re trying to learn about your options and think ahead about the consequences of leaving home. We’re glad you reached out to us to learn more.

              For many places in the United States, if you are under 18 years old and leave home without parental permission, your parents have the right file a runaway report with the police. The act of running away isn't a crime, so you wouldn’t be going to jail, but you would have to be returned to your legal guardian if police were to find you. You could also be placed at a station until someone could pick you up. If your mother does happen to know where you are located, she could also send over the local police to get them to check up and bring you back home. It is possible that whoever you stay with could also be charged with harboring a runaway which could result in other legal issues. We are not legal experts though, so you may want to call your local police to ask what the consequences are for running away if you are under 18 years old. For all states though, if you are 18 years old or older, you would be considered an adult and thus you would legally be allowed to leave home.

              It sounds like you are considering running away as a real option. What would your overall plan be (i.e., long term housing [who would you stay with and for how long], transportation, financial stability, access to food/clothes, going to school, etc.)? Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing might be a good idea so that you could think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t.

              If you decided to run away and needed a place to stay, we could look up shelters and safe place sites for you to stay in order to make sure you are safe. Another service we provide could be to facilitate a conference call between you and your mother. We would mediate the call, and it would allow you to clearly express your concerns and feelings to your mother in a safe space.
              Another option is to call us, and we could provide mental health resources for you in your area if are feeling mental and emotional distress or would want family counseling. If you are also thinking about emancipation, we can provide legal aid resources.

              Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us www.1800 runaway.org. We’re here to listen, here to help.

          • #22
            What do I do if I am told to leave home, and that I am getting kicked out. Yet if I leave, the cops will be called because I’m a minor and considered a run away?? I don’t wanna live at home anyways. Also, I am 17 and I am in the state of Arizona. Please help.

            Comment


            • ccsmod7
              ccsmod7 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you going through a difficult time. We are glad that you reached out to us and we’re here to help in any way that we can.

              You mentioned that if you were told to leave home and got kicked out would the cops be called. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts and situations can vary from city and state and we cannot tell you what would or would not happen. Generally speaking, if you were to get kicked out it could be considered neglect and you have the option to report it to Child Protective Services. If you need help reporting you could reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or visit childhelp.org.

              In most states, if you leave home before you are 18 without legal guardian’s permission, it’s considered running away and your legal guardians have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they typically would just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring. If you are looking for a more specific answer of exactly what your rights are, you can always contact your local police department through the non-emergency line to ask about laws in your community.

              If you would like to reach out to us other than bulletin and email, we have a 24/7 hotline and are always here to listen and help (1-800-786-2929). We can provide legal resources and other referrals to help.
              Do not hesitate to reach out.

              Good luck,

              NRS

          • #23
            So I'm at my friends house and my dad just messaged me and told me that I am out of the house. Does that mean I'm kicked out?

            Comment


            • ccsmod6
              ccsmod6 commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’ve been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.
              We’re not legal experts here. But your dad cannot legally kick you out of the house because that would be considered neglect. No one deserves to go through that. But we can’t say for sure what your dad meant by his message. If you feel that you are kicked out of home, you could consider reporting what you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse/neglecting reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.
              If you ever feel that you’re unsafe or if you ever feel that you are in danger, you could call 911 for immediate help.
              If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at your school for help and support with what’s been going on. You could also consider talking to your dad or ask someone to help you talk to him.
              There are also many resources that could help you work through conflict at home, help you find a safe place, or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us or chat with us online.
              Again, thank you or contacting us. It sounds like you’ve been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

          • #24
            So, I have a situation, I came from an abusive family, where I was not taken care of as I should have been since I was 12, I took the brunt force of their days, there were days that I would go to school with bruises, cuts, welts etc. I got out of there about a year or two ago. I now live with my brother and sister in law as my legal guardians, there have been multiple issues with communication, and a few other things, and I have tried to fix it, nothing works. I talked to him tonight and the question I was asking got blown out of proportion and he got super defensive, and first he yelled at me, telling me to go back to my parents, and later he said if you want to leave, let me know and we will work something out.
            I'm wondering if I could just leave, and go live with a friends family. Can he give me permission to leave. Like what could go wrong, because he is offering to just let me leave the house. I don't want to get caught up in anymore legal stuff as I was already in the foster system and do not wish to go back. I am turning 18 in 7 months.

            Comment


            • #25
              Reply: So, I have a situation

              Hello,
              Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

              We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
              Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn.
              We understand and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
              We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail about options or the pros and cons of your situation, please call or chat soon.

              Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

              Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
              NRS is here to listen and here to help.

              We hope to hear from you soon.

              Take care,
              NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • #26
                I'm only 14 and my mom kicked me out because she didn't get a text from basketball practice and I wasn' even home late my curfew is 9: 30, I got home at 9:32, I live on a hill. I ran home and fell asleep, now mom thinks I was at someone' house and I'm terrified I'm shaking and stuff. I don' want to put people in trouble for nothing and I don' want to go away..if your reading this help.
                please I need help asap.
                she' kicking me out and then going to report me as a runaway
                Last edited by ccsmod4; 03-15-2018, 02:26 AM.

                Comment


                • #27
                  Reply: I'm only 14 and my mom kicked me out

                  Hello,
                  Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                  We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
                  We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                  Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

                  If you are at risk of being put out or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to a family member, friend or your local police. To seek emergency assistance immediately just dial 9-1-1.

                  Take care,
                  NRS

                  We hope that this information is helpful to you! We’d love to hear what you think about your experience with the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). If you have a moment, please click the link below our signature line to fill out a quick survey.

                  Take care,
                  NRS
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • #28
                    Hi,

                    My friend was kicked out of her house last night after her and her parents got in a huge fight. She's 17 and turning 18 in 2 months. She is staying at her grandparents' house at the moment but isn't allowed to come back home and get her stuff or her parents will call the police. She just wants to get her stuff and go. She doesn't want to stay home. This isn't the first time my friend and her parents have argued and had it lead to a huge thing. They constantly fight and her parents have called the police multiple times. Some have sided with her parents who deny everything and others have sided with my friend. Nothing has changed because of those police calls. My friend even gets abused pretty often. Social Services have also come by very often and nothing has been done because they sided with her parents. What can she do at this point?

                    Comment


                    • ccsmod7
                      ccsmod7 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hello there, thanks for reaching out for your friend today. Sounds like she is in a really tough situation with her abusive parents not allowing her to get her things. That seems incredibly unfair and no one deserves to be abused.

                      Since you is turning 18 in 2 months, if she waits until she is 18 she could ask for a police escort into the house to get her belongings. It sounds like police have not been helpful now while her parents are still legally her guardians, once she is a legal adult they should have a different attitude towards the situation. Escorting folks into unsafe homes to get their belongings is a service that police typically provide.

                      In the next two months, she might see if there are any family members who can go into the home and get her things. Since she is living with her grandparents, she might see if they would communicate with her parents for her or go get her things so that she does not have to go back to the house. Another option is to call her caseworker from social services to see if there is anything the caseworker can do either by talking to her parents about giving her belongings or getting police involved to get her things before she turns 18.

                      There might be other options available for her depending on her situation. If she calls or chats us we can talk through her situation and continue to try and brainstorm her options. We can also look for local legal resources for her that might be able to help. If possible, you might try to give her our number so we can best help.

                      We look forward to hearing from either of you. He are available 24/7 over the phone and here to listen, here to help.

                      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.

                      Best,

                      NRS

                  • #29
                    I'm the person from the previous post about my friend getting kicked out without her stuff. Would changing her legal guardian be out of the question since she's turning 18 soon?

                    Comment


                    • ccsmod8
                      ccsmod8 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hello there again –

                      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline and posting on our public forum. By helping you during your crisis, hopefully there are other youth that are in similar situations can read this for help as well.

                      You have asked if it would be a realistic if your friend were to look into changing guardianship from her parents to her grandparents. Now considering that she is going to be turning 18 in two months, it’s probably not going to be beneficial for her to start that process. Keep in mind that we aren’t legal experts in any way, but from what we know that it does go through family/juvenile court and the person that has current custody has to want to give it up to someone else. Usually parents that are okay with youth living elsewhere (ie. other relative or friend), they will give temporary guardianship to that person by having a notarized letter that states that fact.

                      Like stated above, it might come down to either finding a time when both parents aren’t going to be home where she can collect some important items that she needs and can’t replace or having police and/or grandparents try to mediate a visit where she can get those items without getting into another fight.

                      Best of luck!

                  • #30
                    My parents are divorced and i live with my dad. He kicked my out and sent me to my mom's saying i'll eventually be allowed back. Can I choose not to go back once he has kicked me out?

                    Comment

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