being kicked out

[Guest]

my mom kicked me out the other weekend so i left and my friends mom thinks that it would be fine if i stayed there but i came back and now i want to runaway. but is it even considered running away if they previously kicked me out? and what is emancipation? if just one parent signs on it if they are married is that good enough? im only 15 so is that even legal? i do have a job and i am a good student and have never gotten in trouble before. i live in boise, idaho.
and my dad even said that he would help me leave so is that even considered running away?
or what if i were to go live with my 18 year old sister. if i didnt tell my parents would i get in trouble?
can my parents get the police to take me back home if has previously been abusive when i was younger?

[ccsmod1]

Re: being kicked out

Thanks for contacting us. It sounds like you really don’t want to live at home anymore and are trying to figure out different legal options you may have. We’re not lawyers here, nor are we legal experts, so we can’t give you definite legal advice. However, we are able to talk to you about some of the general laws that may affect your situation. From all of your above questions, it looks like you want more information on what is considered running away and the consequences of running; and emancipation requirements.

First, running away is when a minor leaves their house without their parent’s permission. As far as we know, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been previously kicked out, you could still be considered and reported as a runaway. Along with that, if you do runaway and the police pick you up they usually will just bring you home. Rarely, the police will hold a youth in juvenile detention for 24 or 48 hours, just until the legal guardian can pick up the youth. Most likely the police would still take you back home, even if there was previous abuse. If there was current abuse, it’s possible that Child Protective Services (CPS) would be called instead, but then it would be up to their determination whether home was safe for you to go to or not (In all honestly, things would likely have to be very bad at home right now for CPS to determine you don’t have to return back there). Is there abuse at home right now that is reportable to CPS? You mentioned there was previous abuse, what kind of abuse was it? Just so you know, being kicked out is a form of neglect, so in the event you’re kicked out again you do have the right to call and report this; what happens after you report it would be up to CPS. If this happens again and you wanted to report it, we can definitely help you call the Social Services/CPS in your area.

As far as if you have one parent’s permission to go and not the others, we would imagine that your mom would still be able to file a runaway report if she wanted to. Thus, you could be considered a runaway, but the consequences of if the police picked you up are unknown to us. It might depend on which of your parents they talk to after they pick you up. You mentioned living with your sister. If you don’t have permission from your parents, you could still be considered a runaway if though you’re with family (since she’s not your legal guardian). Do you think it’s possible that your parents might agree to let you live with her?

When it comes to emancipation, we checked a couple different resources and both said that there is no emancipation statue in Idaho, which means it’s not something that youth can do. If you want to double check, the local county court would be the best place to contact. The one in Boise, ID is called the 4th District Court and the number is 208-392-4452. If something has changed and Idaho does now allow emancipation, this is who a youth would go through to get emancipated. There’s also a legal hotline called Idaho Volunteer Lawyers Program, 1-800-221-3295, which may be able to answer legal questions.

Well, that’s a lot of information and probably a lot to take in. As written in the very beginning, we don’t know the exact laws and procedures in every area, but those are the generals that we’re aware of. If you think it would be helpful to talk to us directly, our hotline is available 24/7. The number, 1-800-RUNAWAY, is also completely confidential and anonymous. One of the other services we provide is a conference call between youth and their parents. If you thought this would be helpful to you in your situation, you’re welcome to call us and set one up. Basically you would call the hotline, explain a little of your story, we’d then call your mom or dad and have a three way call. Our purpose would just be to mediate the conversation, make sure both of you have a chance to talk and see if there’s any sort of compromise that can be determined.

Once again, thanks for contacting us and we hope that we were able to help in some way. It’s great that you’re trying to really think through your options and the possible consequences. We never tell youth not to run away, we’re just here to go over the different things that may affect them and we want to make sure they’re safe. Best of Luck.

[Guest]

Re: being kicked out

the abuse was physical and verbal. and verbal abuse is still present today but the physical part isnt there as often.

and another question

what exactly is harboring? if my friends mom were to allow me to live there do you know if she could get into trouble? or if my parents knew i was there on a short-term basis until summer is that still considered harboring or would the mom get in trouble at all?

[ccsmod1]

Re: being kicked out

Thanks for replying back so quickly. We’re so sorry to hear that there’s still verbal abuse and that there used to be physical abuse. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect from your parents and never deserve to be verbally put-down. As far as Child Protective Services goes, you could try to report the verbal abuse along with the neglect (kicked out), but from our knowledge it’s very hard for CPS to get involved when there’s no physical evidence of the abuse. The likelihood of CPS removing you from the home for verbal abuse would likely be very slim. Reporting it is still an option and a right you have.

Harboring a runaway is against the law in many states. It's when an adult lets a minor runaway stay at their house without contacting their parents or the police. There usually has to be a runaway report out on the youth and many times the parents of the youth have to want to press charges against the harboring adult. The consequences for harboring would vary from state to state. The info we have about harboring in Idaho is as follows: “It is a crime for a person to knowingly and intentionally house or otherwise accommodate a child who is under the age of 17 without having the authority of: the child’s guardian, the state of Idaho or a department within the state, or the person who has legal custody of the child. It will be an affirmative defense to this crime if the person has notified the custodial guardian or the law enforcement agent of the child’s location. (Idaho Code 18-1510)."

If your parents knew you were at your friend's house, do you think they would make you come home? That’s really what it comes down to. If they know where you are and don’t make you come home, it’s likely that nothing would happen, which is what the last part of that law is referring to. Do you think your friend's mom would be willing to help you talk to your parents?

Feel free to contact us if you have any more concerns or questions. Call 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime, day or night.

[Guest]

Re: being kicked out

im sorry. i have one more question though.

awhile back i talked to a counsler and she said that if i runaway from my abusive parents and if my mom calls the police that they cannot make me go back. is that true?

again...im sorry to waste your time on what is probably just a stupid question.

[ccsmod1]

Re: being kicked out

Don’t worry about it. There’s no such thing as a stupid question. You’re obviously trying to gather as much information as you can, to make the most informed decision that you can, so you have nothing to be sorry for. We’re glad that you’re really thinking about all the possible scenarios and possible outcomes. Many people your age don’t do so and end up acting impulsively, so it’s great that you are.

As far as we know, if you runaway and there’s abuse in the home, it is still possible for the police to make you go back there. This goes back to the information about CPS in our first post. If you tell the police that there’s abuse it’s possible that they would contact CPS instead of taking you to your parents. If this happens, then CPS would determine whether or not home was safe for you to return to. It’s possible that CPS would want you to stay at your house while they investigate (sometimes abuse report investigations can take up to 60 days). After they investigate they usually determine whether the situation is one that needs CPS intervention, in which case your family would be assigned a caseworker. Other possible outcomes of an investigation include that they didn’t find any indication of abuse, there wasn’t enough evidence of abuse for them to intervene, or there’s something at the home but not enough to merit an case being opened (if this is the case they generally refer the family to an outside social service agency for family counseling or something like that). If a case was opened, the caseworker usually works with the family to come up with a plan to change whatever the circumstances are. They generally try to keep families together, so removing a youth from the home isn’t the first thing they do. Obviously there are cases that they immediately deem dangerous and they intervene right away, but these are rare, especially when the current abuse is emotional and not physical. As stated before, from our experience it’s really hard for CPS to get involved when there’s no current physical abuse, but sometimes they still do. So really, what that means is unfortunately you don’t get to decide that your home is unfit for you to live in, that’s CPS’ job. The police actually don’t have a say in the matter when it comes to youth not living at home, unless, of course, the situation is very physically dangerous at the moment they’re involved (in which case they’d remove the youth and still call CPS).

Hope that answers your question. Once again, there really aren't definite answers to all these questions, so we just do our best from our experience and the information that we've gathered about different laws/procedures.

Remember we’re 24/7 and confidential if you get a chance to call.

[Guest]

Re: being kicked out

ok...i know. but another question.

im talking to my friend and we are wondering if you know the custody laws for idaho. do you know how his mom could transfer the custody? i know youre not lawyers or live in idaho but if you could translate those laws it would help out a lot. they are so confusing the way they put it.

thank you.

[ccsmod2]

Re: being kicked out

Thanks for replying and keeping in contact with us. Unfortunately, we do not have the information you are interested in as fas as how the laws work for transferring custody. We have a few resources in which we will provide below that you can maybe call and get this information. You can also give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you do not feel comfortable in calling alone and we can conference a call for you and call with you.
Here are a few social service agencies you can contact to find the information you are looking for:

Children & Family Services 208-334-6800
and
Division of Family and Community Services 208-334-0641
(under this division, the two numbers below are two different programs that will probably be able to answer any of your questions)

Program of Children & Family Services 208-334-6559
Adoption 208-334-5697

and also, lastly here is the number to the local court in your city/state. You can call them and get transferred to the Family Division and asks your questions there.

4th District Court 208-364-3000

Hopefully, getting a few of these numbers a call again will help assist you in getting all the answers you need. If not, again feel free to call us and we can help you get some answers! Remember, we are available 24 hours and are confidential. We may only be able to reach people at these numbers during business hours which are normally 9am-5pm. Until we hear from you again, good luck!

[Unregistered]

RE:being kicked out

Im 15 and was kicked out. can i be reported as a runaway??

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are a confidential and anonymous hotline for youth in crisis and their families. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

We aren’t legally trained here but generally speaking, even if you are kicked out, you can still be filed as a runaway unless you contacted the police or Child Protective Services to let them know what was going on. This is because your parents are your legal guardians and are legally responsible for you. They could be held responsible for your actions if the police were to locate you on the street; unfortunately, even if you are kicked out, they have the option to file this report.

If you would like to talk more about what is going on or what options you have available to you, please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Or, we are available via chat from 4:30 PM – 10:00 PM 7 days a week.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Unregistered]

Neglet/being kicked out.

Hi. My parents never buy a good amount of food even though they have money. For example yesterday they only Fed us once and nothing yet today. When they do buy foood they get eggs and thats it. My Fridge is empty even though i tell them to buy food every single day. They bought my brother a mini ipad but yet theres never ever food in my house and im tired of always being hungry and so are my siblings. For years i had to make them spaghetti every day because there was nothing else. They're always concerned about their own relationship problems. They're selfish. As if they never wanted to have four kids. They started threatening to kick me out as early as 15 but it got worse at 18. Every time I spoke up against all the things the did they told me to get out. They're also verbally abusive. Can you tell me about laws or anything I can do because barely eating for years is getting me really angry. In addition, they also barely buy clothes that are needed. Thank you.

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and it was very brave of you to reach out to us. Hopefully, we will be able to help you by finding some resources.

It sounds like you are currently living at home and your parents are neglectful towards you and your siblings. We are sorry to hear that because nobody deserves to feel unsafe or scared at home. It’s great that you are trying to take care of your siblings as well. It also sounds like they threatened to kick you out but it has gotten worse now that you are older. Have you ever had to leave home? If you do, you can call us here and we can try to help you find shelter or a safe place to go.

It sounds like you are looking for some resources to report the neglect of your parents, is that correct? Unfortunately, the state may not take one if you are over 18 but they may take one for your siblings. You may be able to file a report with Child Protective Services in your state. If you are interested in doing this, you can reach us here and we can definitely help you out. Our toll free hotline is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are available 24 hours a day. We also have online chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST) and those can be found on our website (www.1800runaway.org).

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Guest]

I have a question. My girlfriend got kicked out last week and has been staying at her step father ,now her mom reports her to the cops as a run away ,can she still be considered a run away when she got kicked out and shes with her step dad ,??PLEASE HELP I NEED TO MAKE SURE SHE AND HER DAD WONT GET IN TROUBLE!and the weather out here in denver is 10° how does her mom expect for her to be okay

[ccsmod1]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out in support of your girlfriend. Sounds like she is in a very difficult situation. It is very frustrating and scary when is a youth is kicked out, but then reported as a runaway by a parent. She does not deserve to have that happen. It is not legal for a parent to kick out a child who is a minor. If your girlfriend never reported that this happened to her, the police will not have any record of it. Parents can file a runaway report with the police if their child is gone without permission. We are not legal experts, however in general if a minor encounters police while reported as a runaway they would likely be returned home. It is considered a crime to harbor a runaway, which means her step-father could possibly get into trouble if mom decides to press charges against him. However, it is hard to predict what would happen without knowing more. Your girlfriend could tell the police what happened, however it would be her word against her mother's, and we aren't sure what would happen with the police. It is good to hear you are supportive and want to help. You can always give our number to your girlfriend and we would be happy to talk her through all her options and help her make a plan to deal with this situation. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

[Guest]

My father is always verbally abusing me, I'm only 15 and he is constantly telling me to leave the house, or telling me he's going to kick me out. It's getting to the point where I want to kill myself, I need help. I don't know if I should call the police or if I should just continue to take it.

[ccsmod2]

Hi,

You definitely don't deserve to have your dad trying to kick you out constantly. There are places out there where you can get some help. It sounds like you are considering ending your life, and we want to help in the best way that we can. You are welcome to call or chat with us, anytime on our website or over the phone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also available for you as well at 1-800-273-8255. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings.

Take good care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm transgender I'm 13 years old and my mother found out and told me to leave gave me 20 minutes to pack a bag and leave I took my phone and charger clothes my money my journal and some other things I said goodbye to my 4 siblings and since that I have been sleeping on friends couches and then my friend said I could stay at his house and now I'm living with him i don't have contact with any family

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out. Sounds like you have been through so much with your mother. It is not okay that she kicked you out, and it is especially not okay that she kicked you out for being transgender. You so deserve to be welcomed and accepted for who you are at home.

It could be seen as neglect for your mom to kick you out, and you do have the right to report that to child protective services (CPS). If CPS investigates and removes you they would look for someone who could take custody of you. You mentioned that you do not have contact with any family, it is possible for your friend’s parents to take custody of you if they are okay with that. CPS typically looks for family members or others that could take you before entering you into foster care. To learn more about what reporting would look like for you, you can call the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. If you decide that reporting is the best option for you, we can help you make that report if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

If you are wanting to talk to others in the trans community, or are looking for LGBTQ specific resources the Trans Lifeline is a good resource at 1-877-565-8860 or www.translifeline.org. You so deserve to be supported through this this.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk further. We can talk through your situation, brainstorm your options, and possibly provide some additional resources.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Stay safe,

NRS