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[Urgent] Question(s) involving the following situation.

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  • ccsmod11
    RE: Urgent Questions involving the following situation

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your girlfriend are in a very difficult situation right now. You mentioned that your girlfriend is being abused verbally and physically in her home. No one deserves to be treated that way. We are glad that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you are pretty aware of your options and that you both have a very difficult decision to make. You are correct in saying that your girlfriend’s situation is complicated by the fact that she is so close to turning eighteen. It sounds like you care very much about your girlfriend and her safety.

    We are not legal experts. It might be helpful for you to speak with a lawyer. If you would like a legal aid resource in your area, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can also assist your girlfriend in making a child abuse report, or just help you make a decision about what your next steps will be. We are here to support you. Our hotline is open 24 hours. You can also reach us through our live chat service between 4:30pm and 11:30pm Central time. We look forward to talking with you!

    Best of luck,


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  • Leaum
    Guest started a topic [Urgent] Question(s) involving the following situation.

    [Urgent] Question(s) involving the following situation.

    Hello, I am kinda in an.... interesting situation. I am 19 Years old, my girlfriend turns 18 in 46 days. Here's the back story;

    My girlfriend is Vietnamese, her parents are hard-core tradition, came state side less than 8 years ago. They claim they came here for their daughter to have a better chance at a good future, they want her to have a strong career and do well in life so she will be happier. She went to public schools here the entire time, excelled in just about everything she did. When I met her, she had a small handful of "Friends" no real social skills to account for, never been in a relationship, had 0 self-esteem/confidence, had a very distant relationship with her parents to begin with.

    She loves astronomy, she wanted to go to college for it... Her parents obligated her into going into the medical field which she has no interest in going into. They guilt her by saying she needs to be successful and make a lot of money so she can send it home to her cousins in Vietnam because they have such hard lives there.

    Here's the thing, they brought her over to the states to attend American public schools, with American kids raised by American families. They have failed to teach her proper Vietnamese tradition. She finally gets into a relationship, she starts building self confidence and esteem... All they do for the first 3 months is say things like "It's not going to last, you are stupid for believing he will stay." constantly calling her stupid and putting her down. They have lied to her and I at every turn, which is just too much to explain. They call her names like "Slut, whore, **********". They abuse her emotionally, verbally and in a few cases physically. One example is; "I do not think you a whore, I think you are worse than a whore. You are sleeping with an American guy and not even getting paid. What are you worth then? Nothing. You are worth nothing." (will get into more later on).

    Well, last night, she got home BEFORE her curfew, the moment she walks in the door her dad starts yelling at her and tells her that she either has to break up with me or move out. They have given her this ultimatum on 4 different cases now, so the next day she tells her mother that she is choosing to move out. Her mother goes off on her and says to tell her dad. She goes home and tells her dad, he slaps her across the face twice with a shirt, nothing too serious. They are screaming and cussing at her, telling her that she is dead to them and to pack her ******** and get out. So she starts packing, the entire time they are telling her to get the ******** out and everything. So, she takes the first load of her stuff outside and her dad sees that she is going through with it, he starts screaming at her, goes to the garage and grabs a shovel, he starts walking fast towards her and tries to swing it at her. For the sake of keeping it simple, there was another guy there as well, we will call him her uncle. Her uncle had to grab him and pull him back and keep him from hitting her with it. I drive up to pick her up and he comes after me and tries to hit my car with the shovel. I had to swerve into the other lane to avoid it. So I drive off and text her asking what's up, she says they are still yelling at her telling her "to get her ********ing ******** out" and stuff. After 30 minutes she tells me she has it all ready to go and to come back, I come back, they are all standing outside. Screaming at her telling her to leave, I pull up and her mom calls the police. So I leave to avoid any issues, the police show up and they start lying to them, saying I was trying to kidnap her. That the day before she left at 4AM and didn't get home till 1:30AM, which is a lie... Just a bunch of stuff. So, the police tell her "You have to follow your parents rules until you are 18." They said if she tries running away again we will both be arrested, which I know is bullsh*t and is a scare tactic.

    Now, here is the thing.. I have legal leverage. Below is a list of offenses that have committed;
    Physical Abuse
    Emotional Abuse
    Verbal Abuse
    1 Act of Sexual Abuse
    Neglect of a toddler
    Tax Evasion/fraud (They run a business, pay their employees in cash and do not report it.)
    Attempted assault and battery with a deadly weapon (towards me)

    I have been told by 4 people that if she were to run away the worst possible case is;
    They find her and take her back home. If she were to run away within 48 hours of being taken home, she MIGHT be charged with impeating(I think that's what it was) justice. I was told if she is staying with me, the police may come by, the MOST they could do is knock on my door, ask if she is staying here. If I say no, they can NOT enter the home without a warrant or without probable cause. Probable cause being if she is VISIBLE.
    I was also told, given how close she is to being 18 even if they tried to involve FINS(SP) or take anything to a legal level, it would probably take too long and be dropped.

    I just peoples opinions on this, the choices I have come up with are;

    1: We wait 7 and a half weeks until she is 18 and she can leave without a problem. The issue is, we are both afraid her home life will get worse, especially after what just happened... I mean her dad came at her with a shovel.

    2: She sneaks out in the middle of the night and just waits it out until she is 18 in a safer environment.

    3: I report all of this to DHS, the IRS, and the police, all the offenses have her and her little brother removed from the house and placed in foster care. The down side is we have no way of knowing where she will end up.

    4: I can go to her mom and 'blackmail' her in a sense. Tell her that I know her financial situation, that I will report all these offenses if she doesn't let her go.. So even if she tries to change her mind and report us, it just falls back on her.

    5: I can go press charges for the attempted battery.

    I can't have her emancipated, would take to long and the judges would say just wait it out.

    Any ideas? Also, please include any known legal issues that may occur.

    We live in Arkansas, in case you need to do research on laws.

    Please try to reply fast, thank you in advanced!
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