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Adopted and 16 wanting to leave home

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  • ccsmod4
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You don't deserve to be abused in any way. It is not your fault. You have the right to want to be treated fairly.
    As of right now you’re feeling like leaving and going to live with your sister.
    We understand that this might be a challenging thing to do.
    You are very strong to reach out and share what has been going on.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of options that may lead to ideas previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this.

    We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this trying time time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-09-2020, 01:29 AM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey , so I'm 15 about to turn 16 in month I've been adopted since i was younger its been very hard living here now that i'm older bc I'm teen and I've got in some trouble not bad but minor trouble and my parents stopped trusting me but i understand why but over time my mom says awful things and making me feel bad about myself she treats me different then her kids shes rude and mean and so are my siblings (not biological ones) they have said stuff like I'm ugly always picking on how i look and pointing things out about me that i'm insecure about and joking about it and my mother has said things like im insecure called me worthless , and once wen i got in trouble she told my uncle and sisters that if i got slight attitude with them they can slap and punch me which i have trouble controlling my attitude and i cant help it sometimes i have bad anxiety and i suffer from depression its hard living with people who don't like me . i wanna go live with my sister but Idk how to ask my parents and I doubt they'll let me

    please respond
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 09-09-2020, 02:19 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a bit about what's going on at home. We are very sorry to hear things aren't going well with your adoptive parents. Just so you know, their withholding necessary medication from you would count as a form of abuse and you could make a report on what they are doing through your state's Child Abuse Reporting hotline. You can also report abuse through us here at National Runaway Safeline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. Of course, we never tell anyone what to do and respect your decision whether to report or not.

    You ask a really good question about leaving home at seventeen. Eighteen years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

    We'd like to help you figure out what all your options are, perhaps even some options you haven't considered yet. The best way to reach us is by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our lines are open 24/7 and we are a confidential, safe place to talk about anything you are going through. You can also reach us through our chatroom which is found at the top of our webpage: www.1800runaway.org.

    We hope to hear from you soon. Stay safe and good luck!

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hey there I'm 17 and I am done living where I'm at I want to live with my boyfriend but I have epilepsy and my adoptive parents won't give me my meds to keep and take so I won't have a seizure but I don't want to live at home any more can I legally leave without having the police get involved ???

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. The age of majority in most states is 18. This is the age where you are considered a legal adult with the freedom to choose where you live. If you friend leaves home before she turns 18, her parents can report her as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense. This means her adoptive parents can ask police to return her home if they know where she is staying.

    If you or your friend have more questions or would like to talk more about her situation, please do not hesitate to reach out again. We are available 24/7 for immediate support by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend is adopted and she wants to leave the house how old do u have to be can u be 16 or 17

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

    It seems like maybe your parents don't realize how their actions and words are affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your family so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi I’m 14 and adopted and I’ve been living with my parents since I’ve been 5.Ive wanted to not live in my family and leave for a long tim but I don’t know where I would go cause my friends parents won’t allow it and all they do is yell at me and I think they emotionally neglect me cause they always criticize me for whatever and they never act like they care what I feel and I’m always having to hide my feelings and then when my dad heal at me and cry’s he just says you bright this to yourself and they always say they don’t feel bad for me at all I just know I want to leave this house as soon as possible

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time, and we want you to know that you are not alone. It is unfortunate that your grandmother is keeping you from living at your dads.
    One option to consider would be to talk with your father about the possibility of living with him and how your grandmother is preventing that. We know you mentioned wanting to run away, although we are not legal experts we do have some information on what could happen. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you need a safe place to stay you can always call or chat with us and we can try and find you a safe place.
    We hope this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I’m a 16 year old and I want to move in with my father. A quick back story is I was taken away from my mother and father because my mother was abusive but my father did some illegal things (they had me at a young age) so he could make some money to support me but ended up getting caught. I was then adopted by my grandma Since my dad trusted her and she promised to give me and my brother who was also adopted by her back to my father. It’s been 12 years since then and she never gave us back and manipulated both of us that my own father was bad (I was adopted at the age of 4 btw) and a whole bunch of stuff. The older I got the more I realize what was really going on. Now she emotionally abuses me, the school I go to is slightly racist and I’m just not happy at all anymore. I visit my dad every summer and holidays so I know it’s in my best interest to live with him and finish my high school down where my father lives. She [my grandma] won’t let me though and I am to the point where I’d rather live on the streets or run away than to go back.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
    It seems like you are going through a complex situation, but are taking the right steps to find a safe way to go about things. It seems like a frustrating situation to be able to see your bio-mom but not have permission to stay with her long term. Reaching out to legal aid was the right choice to find out your legal options.
    We aren’t legal experts, but generally even if she is your bio-mom, it could still be harboring a runaway for you to stay with her. Your grandma could still file a runaway report and have police bring you home, and your bio-mom could be charged. It’s usually up to either the police, or your guardian if those charges would be pressed.
    Hopefully this answers your question. If you have more or just need to vent you can always reach out to our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hello, I'm 16, My mom was 15 when she had so my grandmother (dads mom) adopted me and had me start calling her mom when I was 2 because my birth mom couldn't afford to take care of me.. I've always been in my birth moms life, I stay there on weekends and during school breaks. I call her everyday to get advise and help with my school work, I feel more comfortable being with her and I want to move in with her, my brother and step dad, but my adopted mom/grandma wont let me, my birth mom asked a lawyer about getting me back but they said since she has no rights and cant prove that my adopted mom/grandma is unfit there really wouldn't be anything the courts could do.. With that being said if i decided to leave home and go live with my birth mom without telling my adopted mom/grandma could my birth mom or I get in trouble?? I live in indiana where you have to be 18 to live on your own.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. We are not legal experts but we can speak generally on this. If you leave home without permission from your legal guardians, they can report you as a runaway. Now, running away is not illegal and you would not be arrested. It is a status offense (something you cannot do because of your age) which means if your guardians know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement they can ask police to bring you back home.

    It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well.

    You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported. It is never okay for someone to put their hands on you or to harm you in any way. You also deserve to be listened to and to be helped. You have the option to make a report to child protective services. You can contact an organization called Child Help to learn more about the reporting process and more information about contacting your biological family. 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org.

    We want you to know that we care and we are here to listen. Your safety and well-being is incredibly important. We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    so I'm 16. I am adopted and literally hate where I am living. I want to run away but I feel like I'm just gonna be put right back here. sometimes they put their hands on me and when I ask them to stop they don't. I've had they thought about killing myself and having that feeling that they wouldn't care at all it has crossed my mind a lot lately. I really just want to know what would happen to me if I runway or called a biological family member??

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod16
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,

    Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. The age of majority in Missouri is 18 which means that on your 18th birthday you have most of the rights and responsibilities of adulthood, and that your parents are no longer legally responsible for your care, so unless you are on probation, or have some other legal matter in the way, the fact that you were adopted isn’t a factor. If you are or were a ward of the state, you should check with your case worker to be sure.

    We hope that you might reach out to us by phone or chat so that we can help you go over your plan for leaving. We are here to help youth to be safe and off the streets. The best way for us to help you is by listening to you and helping you figure out your options. We are here for you 24/7 either by calling 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org

    We really hope to hear from you so that we can talk this over. We are confidential and are here 24/7 to listen and help.
    Sincerely,
    NRS
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