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Adopted and 16 wanting to leave home

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  • #16
    i’m 15 living in a home with people i’ve known since i was two but i don’t like the conditions i’m living in and there is no way for me to tell anyone because if i do i get screamed at and neglected more than what i already am. due to my living conditions i got involved with some bad things and got put on probation. is there anything i can do in the state of alabama to fix my living conditions because really and truly i can’t take this place anymore.


    • #17
      Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now, and we are here to help.

      To begin with, you mentioned earlier that you’re 15, and are living in unstable conditions in your home, causing you to get involved with some bad things. We want you to know that you’re really brave for seeking help, and you are not alone. If you at any time feel unsafe, you can text the word safe and your location to 44357. The national safe place will text you a location to go to, and a case worker might come out to assists you. In the same way, if you’re experiencing any time of abuse at home, you can reach out to the national child abuse hotline at 1800) 422-4453, and they may be able to advise you if it’s necessary to get child protective services involved.

      Unfortunately we aren’t legal experts, but if you decide to run away without your guardian’s approval, your guardian can contact the authorities, and file a runaway report. Whoever you end up staying with, may face some consequences. If you want to know more about runaway laws in your city and state, you may contact your local non-emergency number at 205) 328-9311. If you need an emergency shelter, the Family Connection, Inc. offers shelter and counseling in Alabama, and can be reached at (205) 664-2273.

      Again, thank you so much for reaching out. We know you’re in a very hard situation, and we’re so proud that you are wanting to seek help. Please feel to reach out to us anytime on chat, or by phone at 1800) 786-2929, and we can call out anywhere on your behalf as well. Best of luck!
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


      • #18
        Living with my parents isn’t the best can I leave and they don’t have the authority to bring me back home I turn sixteen in a week


        • #19
          Most people are writing about themselves, but I actually have a question about a friend of mine. My friend was adopted when she was in 7th grade because her birth mother was in jail for drug use. She was excited to finally be adopted at first, but now she is almost 17, and her mother basically abuses her every day. It's not physical abuse, but oftentimes her mom goes to the extremes with everything she does. For example, she was once signed up for a field trip that her mom actually gave her permission to go on, but then the day of the field trip, her mom called her and told her that she was in trouble for not doing the dishes, and now couldn't go on the field trip...but she was already on her way to the field trip. So, naturally, her mom called the school and demanded they give her 2 days of in-school suspension, even though there was nothing for the school to punish her for. She also told me that her mom hides in her house and watches her, waiting for her to do something wrong while my friend doesn't know that her mom is even home. Her mom also once "couldn't trust her" to be home alone, so she had to stay at someone's house while her mom was gone for the night. Well, she didn't have anywhere to sleep. She told her mom this and her mom basically told her that that's her problem. She had to stay at her job for 3 extra hours before finally calling CPS, who made her mom let her sleep at home. On top of that, she's not allowed to have a driver's permit or license because her mom doesn't want her leaving the house. Long story short: her mom is actually insane. What can my friend do to get out of that house? She's 16 now, 17 next summer, but has no driver's license and no other house to go to. She's not sure what she can even do.


          • #20
            hi im 16 i am adopted into my bio moms old friends house bc my mom lost custidy and i lived with my aunt and she couldnt keep us so we got adopted and they abuse us they treat us like crap they yell at us i their bio son tries to make me touch him ive reported to the dcs they came and left after they asked us but they didnt take me and my bio brother like i thought they let their other 17 year old bio son drink and i also told that but they r not doing anything and i have my bio aunt and i wanna run away to her or my bio mom so what do i do


            • #21

              I have legally adopted my Niece because her mother is into drugs. However, I am about to relocate to another state and my Niece (who is 15 and will be 16 in 4 months) has told me many times she will not move out of state with me and my wife. In fact she had told me many times she will run away instead.

              I do not want to lose this job opportunity but at thre same time I can not allow her to go back to her mother.

              We leave in the state of Kentucky.

              Thank you


              • #22
                Hello, I’m 16 almost 17 and I also want to move out. I live with my grandma who is emotionally abusive and very controlling. Both of my parents are in prison and I've lived with my grandma since I was 9. She took me and my little brother out of school and forced us to be homeschooled shortly after adopting us. She yells and cusses at us and doesn’t care about our education. I have my own car, a job, and my own money. I really want to go and live with my other grandma who I am very close with. She lives one town over. Living here I feel mentally beat down, and I don’t feel like I matter. I’m not allowed to hang out with any friends, ever. I’m not allowed to go to regular school. I don’t have a life because of her. I want to live with someone who has my best interest at heart, not theirs. What should I do. Could I just leave and live with my other grandma?


                • #23
                  I'm only 15 and I want to move somewhere else. I've caused a big, mess causing my mother--- my family in general to be upset. And I want to move out. It's stated that in the State of Illinois, I can move out at the at the age of 16. and I haven't came to a final decision yet. But, I want to do it so bad.
                  My mother slapped me across the face, which brought up sad memories about blood-parents, they used to abuse me and when my adoptive mom slapped me, it brought memories and it made me sad and angry. I wish it never happened. I might be moving in with a friend who offered his home to me, and it was very kind of him to do that.
                  All I need is a fresh start!


                  • #24
                    I am 13 and I don't like living where I am living. I don't know why I got adopted but I hate it here. I realized that ever since I moved here I've been getting sadder and sadder. Counseling won't help but me moving will.


                    • ccsmod8
                      ccsmod8 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hello there –

                      Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. Hopefully by helping you and giving you support in your crisis, there are many other youth in your situation that can also be helped.

                      Being adopted can bring up a lot of confusing and stressful thoughts in your life. So it’s understandable that you might be questioning, why you were adopted and possibility even deeper feelings/thoughts that you having really discovered yet. Having a regular counseling session to talk about what you are thinking about and being honest with yourself can be really helpful; even if you can’t see it right now.

                      Now we do offer a service that is basically a Conference Call where the parent/guardian, the youth, and us would be on the phone talking about what has been going on. This way there can be a mediator in between keeping things calm and productive. If you’d feel more comfortable with doing that, just know that it’s always available. It might be a great way to talk about what you are going through and where this feelings might be coming from or to maybe build on your relationship and make it better. So maybe that might be an option for you and your adoptive parents. Something constructive so that it certainly opens the lines of communication, but that services is completely up to you.

                      If you need to talk more we are always here for you to give you support.

                  • #25
                    Hi, I’m 15 and turning 16 in 3 months I get verbally abused constantly from my adopted father I want to live alone to try and stop my anxiety from him and my depression that he seams to cause my social worker has mentioned me being able to live alone in some type of program, I want to live alone to escape all of his yelling. I don’t know what to do, and I my current boyfriend (online) is threatening a brake if not being able to talk.
                    Last edited by ccsmod4; 04-16-2020, 02:26 AM.


                    • ccsmod4
                      ccsmod4 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You showed some by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. What you have been experiencing sounds very sad and very, very unfair. You do not deserve to be treated this way by your stepdad. It’s not your fault that he behave’s this way. It seems like you feel verbally abused. Your feelings are important and they matter. It sounds like because of what’s going on it has put a strain on your relationship with your boyfriend. His understanding would probably be most welcomed by you.
                      It sounds like you have had conversations with a therapist about becoming independent. Perhaps you might consider exploring that option some more by getting information on exactly how this might happen.

                      NRS is here to listen and here to help.
                      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

                      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

                      We hope to hear from you soon.

                      Take care,

                  • #26
                    so i’m going to be 18 in a few months and my parents told me that since i’m adopted i can’t leave until i graduate high school or have a education which to me doesn’t make since. i thought that since ur 18 in missouri your passed as being a adult? can u please help me out ! i need to know the truth asap!!


                    • ccsmod16
                      ccsmod16 commented
                      Editing a comment

                      Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. The age of majority in Missouri is 18 which means that on your 18th birthday you have most of the rights and responsibilities of adulthood, and that your parents are no longer legally responsible for your care, so unless you are on probation, or have some other legal matter in the way, the fact that you were adopted isn’t a factor. If you are or were a ward of the state, you should check with your case worker to be sure.

                      We hope that you might reach out to us by phone or chat so that we can help you go over your plan for leaving. We are here to help youth to be safe and off the streets. The best way for us to help you is by listening to you and helping you figure out your options. We are here for you 24/7 either by calling 1-800-786-2929 or via live chat through

                      We really hope to hear from you so that we can talk this over. We are confidential and are here 24/7 to listen and help.

                  • #27
                    so I'm 16. I am adopted and literally hate where I am living. I want to run away but I feel like I'm just gonna be put right back here. sometimes they put their hands on me and when I ask them to stop they don't. I've had they thought about killing myself and having that feeling that they wouldn't care at all it has crossed my mind a lot lately. I really just want to know what would happen to me if I runway or called a biological family member??


                    • ccsmod13
                      ccsmod13 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hi there,

                      Thank you for taking the time to contact us here at NRS and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation. We are not legal experts but we can speak generally on this. If you leave home without permission from your legal guardians, they can report you as a runaway. Now, running away is not illegal and you would not be arrested. It is a status offense (something you cannot do because of your age) which means if your guardians know where you are staying or you come into contact with law enforcement they can ask police to bring you back home.

                      It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 ( is always available if you need someone to talk to about how you have been feeling. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Reaching out to a school counselor or another adult that you trust could also be a good outlet for you as well.

                      You deserve to be treated with respect and to feel supported. It is never okay for someone to put their hands on you or to harm you in any way. You also deserve to be listened to and to be helped. You have the option to make a report to child protective services. You can contact an organization called Child Help to learn more about the reporting process and more information about contacting your biological family. 1-800-422-4453,

                      We want you to know that we care and we are here to listen. Your safety and well-being is incredibly important. We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at

                      Stay safe,

                  • #28
                    Hello, I'm 16, My mom was 15 when she had so my grandmother (dads mom) adopted me and had me start calling her mom when I was 2 because my birth mom couldn't afford to take care of me.. I've always been in my birth moms life, I stay there on weekends and during school breaks. I call her everyday to get advise and help with my school work, I feel more comfortable being with her and I want to move in with her, my brother and step dad, but my adopted mom/grandma wont let me, my birth mom asked a lawyer about getting me back but they said since she has no rights and cant prove that my adopted mom/grandma is unfit there really wouldn't be anything the courts could do.. With that being said if i decided to leave home and go live with my birth mom without telling my adopted mom/grandma could my birth mom or I get in trouble?? I live in indiana where you have to be 18 to live on your own.


                    • ccsmod15
                      ccsmod15 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hey there thanks for reaching out to NRS,
                      It seems like you are going through a complex situation, but are taking the right steps to find a safe way to go about things. It seems like a frustrating situation to be able to see your bio-mom but not have permission to stay with her long term. Reaching out to legal aid was the right choice to find out your legal options.
                      We aren’t legal experts, but generally even if she is your bio-mom, it could still be harboring a runaway for you to stay with her. Your grandma could still file a runaway report and have police bring you home, and your bio-mom could be charged. It’s usually up to either the police, or your guardian if those charges would be pressed.
                      Hopefully this answers your question. If you have more or just need to vent you can always reach out to our hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

                  • #29
                    Hi, I’m a 16 year old and I want to move in with my father. A quick back story is I was taken away from my mother and father because my mother was abusive but my father did some illegal things (they had me at a young age) so he could make some money to support me but ended up getting caught. I was then adopted by my grandma Since my dad trusted her and she promised to give me and my brother who was also adopted by her back to my father. It’s been 12 years since then and she never gave us back and manipulated both of us that my own father was bad (I was adopted at the age of 4 btw) and a whole bunch of stuff. The older I got the more I realize what was really going on. Now she emotionally abuses me, the school I go to is slightly racist and I’m just not happy at all anymore. I visit my dad every summer and holidays so I know it’s in my best interest to live with him and finish my high school down where my father lives. She [my grandma] won’t let me though and I am to the point where I’d rather live on the streets or run away than to go back.


                    • ccsmod2
                      ccsmod2 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hello There,
                      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time, and we want you to know that you are not alone. It is unfortunate that your grandmother is keeping you from living at your dads.
                      One option to consider would be to talk with your father about the possibility of living with him and how your grandmother is preventing that. We know you mentioned wanting to run away, although we are not legal experts we do have some information on what could happen. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they most likely would bring you back home. If you need a safe place to stay you can always call or chat with us and we can try and find you a safe place.
                      We hope this information will be helpful in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!

                  • #30
                    Hi I’m 14 and adopted and I’ve been living with my parents since I’ve been 5.Ive wanted to not live in my family and leave for a long tim but I don’t know where I would go cause my friends parents won’t allow it and all they do is yell at me and I think they emotionally neglect me cause they always criticize me for whatever and they never act like they care what I feel and I’m always having to hide my feelings and then when my dad heal at me and cry’s he just says you bright this to yourself and they always say they don’t feel bad for me at all I just know I want to leave this house as soon as possible


                    • ccsmod1
                      ccsmod1 commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Hey there,

                      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

                      It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

                      It seems like maybe your parents don't realize how their actions and words are affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your family so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

                      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                      Stay safe,

                      We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey:
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