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  • 17 year old in NY wants to move out

    Hey I'm 17, its 277 days till I turn 18 and I want to legally move out or runaway if neccessary. I live in NY and I live with my grandmother. I used to be in foster care and she adopted me from it. I've been through alot, but she verbally abuses me almost every day. She calls me names, makes fun of me, and screams at me for little honest mistakes. It started a few years ago and has slowly ramped up in intensity until it makes me cry and it has even gotten to the point where I'm starting to get suicidal just because I want it all to end. So far, my friend's parents and my ex's parents have both offered to let me move in with them. I have just a few questions. 1) Can she call the cops and what would they do? 2) Can the cops force me to go back to their house? 3) Can I legally move out if I have a means to support myself (job and housekeeping for the families) without parental consent? 4) What are the penalties in New York State for runaways? and 5) Can I be arrested for leaving? Please let me know soon because I Just can't take it anymore.

  • #2
    RE: 17 year old in NY wants to move out

    Hi there,

    Thanks for contacting us. It seems like you’re going through so much right now. It’s absolutely not right that your grandmother treats you that way. Every person has the right to feel safe in their own home and it looks like you are fighting for that right. It was smart and brave of you to reach out for some support.

    Before we get into the specific questions that you asked, we want to give you the number to the National Suicide Hotline. It can be great resource for people like you who are thinking that there is just too much to handle. Their number is 1-800-273-8255. It can be so overwhelming when you are dealing with so much, and they can be a good place to reach out to.

    So in terms of your questions, we are not legal experts here, but we are able to speak generally. 1. If you do decide to leave, she has the right to file a runaway report with the local police department. Here’s where it gets a bit tricky. In some places, the police may not even take a runaway report for a 17 year old. 2. It is not illegal to run away, it’s just considered a status offense in many states. (Something equivalent to a parking ticket). All that the police would do would return you back home.

    3. One option for legally moving out would be gaining emancipation. Although New York does not have a formal statute for acquiring emancipation, a minor can acquire emancipation if they are legally married, is in the armed services, is able to establish an independent home, or if the parents have failed to fill their parental obligations. You can contact the Brookhaven Youth Services at 631-654-7878 for more emancipation information.

    4. Penalties would only include being returned home. 5. You cannot be arrested.

    Now, these are general answers to your questions. If you have more specific questions or want more specific answers, you can always contact your local police department and ask them these questions.

    If you want to talk through options that you have or want more resources, you can contact us at anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7 and are completely anonymous and confidential. If calling isn’t your thing, you can chat with us on our website (www.1800runaway.org) from4.30pm-11.30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you.

    Best of luck,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you. Also, would they be able to force me to go back or could I choose to not go?

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: 17 year old in NY wants to move out

        Hi again,

        In most cases, the would force you to go back. However, since you are 17, that is not always the case. We're sorry we cannot be more specific. If you'd like, you can always call your local police department's non emergency number (You can find it by searching under your county's local police department). Feel free to give us a call if you'd like to discuss more. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY at anytime.

        Good luck with everything!

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi I'm 16 years old

          Hi I'm 16 years old and I was wondering how old do I have to be to move out? My mom has a indicated CPS report on her and I don't feel safe in my home I was wording if I could move out with out getting in trouble. Please give me answers?

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: Hi I'm 16 years old.

            Hello there –

            Thank you for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From what you have told us about what has been going on for you at home, it sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time right now. From what you were telling us about your situation, it sounds like you’re concerned about your wellbeing at home and feel like moving out. If you ever feel like your physical health is ever in danger you can always call the police and try to leave the situation if you can. You stated that your mother has an indicated CPS report on her, do you think that you can reach out to the Child Protective Service worker that was handling your case and share that information with them? They might have special resources that you can use; maybe like a place to stay or a shelter that you can get to.

            Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. What typically happens though; your mother would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away, but since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Again this does depend on your specific state laws and police policy. There are some cases in which police won’t take a runaway report on a 17 year old because they feel as though they are adults; being able to move out of the house. Though for most states it is until the age of 18 when a person is able to leave home without parental consent.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              my 17 year old girlfriend

              Hi I live i cobleskill ny and my girlfriend wants to move out of her moms due to being put down and verbally abuse She is scared of her mom and is always getting yelled at for no reason. she is 17 and is going to be 18 in 8 months. Is she able to leave without getting in trouble with the police?

              Comment


              • #8
                re: my 17 year old gf

                Hey there,

                Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. You ask a good questions and we would be more than happy to give you resources to a legal aid that would be able to help you answer your questions more accurately.

                Unfortunately, we are not legal experts here but as I mentioned earlier I can provided you with a resource and some general information. From what we know, running away is not illegal, it is rather a status offense which means that you are simply not allowed to do it because you are a minor. Because of this, your parents are still allowed to file a runaway report and most states would probably force to go home. If you would want to accurately know what would happen, one of your options would be to call your local police department or you can reach out to this legal aid:

                BROOKHAVEN YOUTH BUREAU
                Phone number: 631-654-7878
                9:00am-4:30pm Monday to Friday


                DUTCHESE CO. YOUTH SERVICES
                Phone number: 845-486-3665


                It is great that your girlfriend has you for support and has you she can reach out to, it is also very mature of you to reach out to us and see if there is something that can be legally done. If there are any other questions you might have, please feel free to reach out to us, we are here 24/7 and would be more than happy to assist you with whatever you might need. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do.

                Stay strong,

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  I need advice fast

                  Hey ! Im 17 turning 18 in 3 months. Im pregnant and my parents are trying to get me to abort . and I don't want to abort. Me and my fiance wanna keep it. If I run away can they do anything? I want to move in with my fiance

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I need advice fast

                    Hello,
                    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

                    We are sorry that you are having issues with your parents about your pregnancy.
                    Having your baby is your choice to make it’s unfortunate that you are feeling pressure from your parents.
                    We understand how stressful this must feel.
                    It sounds like you are considering running away from home before you turn eighteen in three months but you are concerned about any actions your parents might take.

                    They might attempt to file you as a runaway with the police however since you are so close to turning eighteen the police sometimes see this as a youth being at the age of majority and deciding not to file a runaway report.
                    You might consider contacting your local police department to get more information on their policies and procedures on runaway youth. Does that make sense?

                    You can call our 24hr crisis line 1-800- Runaway (786-2929) to discuss your situation and explore some options. You can also visit www.1800Runaway.org for NRS live chat, the NRS live chat is available from 4:30pm until 11:30pm (CST).

                    We hope that your situation improves and wish you the best.
                    Take Care
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      17 year old

                      Hello,

                      My girlfriend is 17 and wants to move out due to family issues. I understand if she moved in with me the cops could attempt to make her go back home. But I was wondering if I would get in any trouble myself?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: 17 year old

                        Hi,
                        Thanks for contacting us today, it sounds like your girlfriend is going through a pretty tough time at home right now, but she is really lucky to have you looking out for her. Here at NRS we aren’t legal experts, so we can’t say exactly what kind of trouble you could get in if you let her stay with you, but we can talk about what could possibly happen in that situation.

                        So, it sounds like you know that running away isn’t illegal, and in most cases if your girlfriend isn’t on probation or caught doing anything else illegal, then she probably will just be returned home. Sometimes 17 year olds are kind of in a grey areas, some areas still consider them runaways and do return them home, but others will just let them stay where they are, if it’s a safe place. However there could be more consequences for you. People who let runaway youth stay in their homes have the possibility of being charged with harboring a runaway, so either you, or your parents if you live with them. Sometimes parents of runaways have to specifically pursue that option, other times the police automatically have to charge you when they find a runaway. The best way to figure out how your local police department handles harboring a runaway is to call their non-emergency number and ask them. If you do that, then you would probably want to ask how serious of an offense harboring a runaway is. Generally it is a misdemeanor, but you can check to see if that would result in just a fine, or something more.

                        Calling the police can sometimes be a scary thing to do on your own, so if you want help making that call you can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us on our website, www.1800runaway.org, 4:30pm-11:30pm every day. We are totally confidential and anonymous and can make that call to the police and ask those questions for you. We can also talk to you, or your girlfriend, more about what’s going on, help come up with any other options you guys have, and provide any shelter, counseling, or legal referrals that you may need. It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend and just want to help her find a better situation. If there is anything that we can do to help with that, please call or chat with us!

                        Good luck!
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hello I'm 16 and just have a dew questions on leaving home.

                          As I have already stated I am 16 years old, my situation in short is I came to live with and older sister after my parents death. Prior to coming to live with my sister I was put into a psychological hospital named four winds for self harm and depression. In part due to my last guardian who was very cold hearted, and dealing with the loss of my parents. Anyway I came to live with my sister after two weeks in four winds, I thought she would show me a new path in life, maybe help me accept myself.. At first she was the perfect sister who gave advice and cared but it shortly changed. For the past two years my sister has spread rumors about me, bullied me, even degraded me. Along with that though she has got in my face many times screaming at me, one time even hitting me across the face, this caused me to pack a bag and try to walk out but she held me back and pulled me back into the house my sweat shirt. My sister has also neglected to take me to the doctor or dentist for about the past year and a half, she also doesn't allow me to make it to me weekend job when she knows I have a set schedule. She is basically controlling my life, some days I can't even come home and work on homework I have to clean, this has caused a few of my grades to drop. I am also treated unequally than the other minors in our household. For instance my sister will tell me to clean but disconclude her children, or get them new sneakers and tell me to buy my own. I have no problem with supporting myself but I would have a few questions. Like I said my parents are deceased, how could I find out if she is receiving my benefits, because she claims she doesn't. Also would I be able to receive these benefits if I were emancipated. I have looked into this a little bit, I am planning on enlisting into the national guard and going to basic training this summer. Please offer any advice you may have for me, because our arguments are very common and she has threatened to make stuff up to put me in foster care, back in four winds, or back with my last guardian. I am tired of people using and controlling me, I am a good kid, I don't hang out with friends dont do drugs skip school or any of that stuff. So I believe my sister has no right to bind me down so badly.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            RE: Hello I'm 16 and just have a dew questions on leaving home.

                            Hello there –

                            Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public bulletin board, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on. It’s great that you are able to reach out for help in your current situation, it’s very brave of you to do that. We are sorry to hear that your parent’s have passed recently that that you have been having such problems with your older sister. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially at home when you should feel love and respected. You always have the right to report any abuse or neglect that happens at home to child protective services. If you don’t feel like you don’t know how to start that process or if you feel a little scared about making a report, you can always call us here and there is always someone here to help your through that.

                            Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. What typically happens in state though if you’re under the age of majority (which is 18 in most states); your father would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do leave the house, but since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Again this does depend on your specific state laws and police policy.

                            You have also stated that you have been wondering about getting SSI benefits from your parent’s death and about getting emancipated. Now like we stated before we aren’t legal experts in any way, so there isn’t a straight answer that we can give you that will tell you one way or the other. It might be best to follow up with someone at the Social Security office about that and who the benefits are going to. You might be able to ask someone at the Social Security Administration office at 1.800.772.1213 to answer your questions about that. Another thing is that emancipation is a long process and might even take up to a year to get through. There are also some qualification that you have to meet before getting emancipation, such as getting approval from your guardian, having a good source of income to support yourself, having a stable place to live, etc. So that is something to think about when you’re doing your research at home.

                            If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org). If you contact us and give us more information about your location and situation we would be more than happy to help you find resources.
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              15 years old, but plan to move out at 18 years old

                              Hi, I'm currently a high school freshman, 15 years old, and I plan to move out when I am 18 years old, or if possible, even earlier. I currently live in Long Island, NY. At home, I currently get into a lot of fights with my parents, which are mostly verbal, however sometimes these fights can escalate to physical fights as well. I am in a situation in which my mom and I tend to ignore each other for periods at a time, although the most recent cycle has lasted for nearly a year now in which I have not spoken to her since. I am constantly in trouble and I am constantly told how I am unwanted, and frankly I've gotten used to it. However, they have expressed their desire for me to leave at 18 and I am perfectly willing to oblige. I know I do not have a worst-case scenario reason to leave, but it's been mutually agreed that I am to leave and I am not to come back.

                              As an 18 year old legal adult, what will happen with the police if I move out? Are my parents allowed to hunt me down even when I will be technically allowed to leave? Also, what would be the legal consequences? Would I be forced home? If I left at 17 with, say, three or two months until my 18th birthday, would it still be considered a status offense? Would there be serious legal complications if I ran away at 18?

                              Thanks a lot.

                              Comment

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