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17 year old in NY wants to move out

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  • #91
    I am not looking for advice for myself but for my sons gf. She is recently 17 and they have an 9 months old son. We r military and had to leave the state, she wanted to come with us but her parents said no which I understand even tho I do not agree with a lot of things that went on in their home. Since we have left things have gotten worse, they threaten her all the time, call her names, keep her from going anywhere but school, they don't include her in a lot of family things and are trying to get her to get on welfare or disability for her son(there's nothing wrong with him). She receives money (along with her other siblings) for her dads accident. She isn't allowed the money and when she asked if she could move out after graduation she was told point blank no because we do to want to lose your money. My question is other than emancipation can you leave after she graduates or does she have to stay until she's 18? And to be honest I believe they are a risk to my grandsons health and well being.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are really concerned about your son’s girlfriend well-being as well as your grandchild. It’s a good thing she has you for support. You mentioned that you are concerned if she can legally leave her household after graduation. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. Since your son's girlfriend is under 18 if she leaves home, her parent/guardian may file her as a runaway and she may be returned home. Also, those she stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway.
      Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. It sounds like she is experiencing financial abuse and could be in a toxic environment. She can contact Child Help at 1800-422-4453 and find out her options as far as reporting that her family members are taking her money. If she wants to explore other options she may have or if you want to call and talk or explore more options feel free to contact us at 1800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7, confidential and here to help! Best of luck!
      Last edited by ccsmod3; 10-21-2019, 02:48 AM.

  • #92
    Hi I’m 17. I’m not in a great home life situation. I been mentally abused my whole life, my dad is to lazy to bring me to my own tharapy sessions which is vary important bc I just got diagnose with bipolar disorder 2, going home feels like going I’m going to prison. I want to run away but i am afraid of the outcome. I live in New York and I want to move in with my boyfriend. Would I get in-trouble or can my boyfriend get in trouble.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be a consequence of moving in with your boyfriend. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your dad. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #93
    Can I move out of my house if I’m 17 and don’t want to deal with my family’s ******** no more?? It is 295 days until I turn 18 so how can I move out or get out of this house?? I am in 11th grade and I don’t want to deal with these people anymore and I might be pregnant so they might kick me out anyways

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents’ permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. Here at the National Runaway Safeline we also offer a conference call service where we can mediate a call between you and your parents to ensure that the conversation is respectful and everyone’s voice has a chance to be heard.

      You can also look into emancipation options, if that is something you’re interested in. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      Pregnancy can be really exciting, but also a scary and confusing time. You deserve to be getting support as you think through your options and make a plan. Planned Parenthood might be a great resource for you as it can connect you with affordable medical care, family planning, and parenting classes. You can contact them at 1-800-230-7526 or go to www.plannedparenthood.org to find more information and a clinic in your area.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #94
    I want to move out and i am 17. I go to school im in 11th grade and i might be pregnant. My family is not helping me they are only causing me stress and pain. They wont help me out with school when im being bullied and harassed. They wont let me get home schooled or go to an alternative school. I just want to have a normal life with my baby and boyfriend but when people even my family members wont help me out i dont know what i am going to do. If anyone can help me out please text me back or anything please and thank you.


    I live in Tonawanda and i dont want to put up with any of this anymore so if you can help me please help.


    Will i be able to keep my kid? Will i be able to live with my boyfriend? Will i be able to go to school??

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We are sorry you are going through so much. Unfortunately your parents have custody of you until you are an adult (1 meaning that if you left home they have the right to file a runaway report with the cops. They would then be looking for you and if anyone is housing you they can charged with harboring a runaway. Those charges can look different from state to state. If you are looking to live with your boyfriend it might be a good idea to seek legal advice as we are not legal experts and a lawyer would be able to help out with custody and baby issues.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #95
    Hi I’m 17 and want to stay at my boyfriends for the night if my mom called the cops can they make me come home if we are safe and he is the same age as me?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. Sometimes it can be frustrating when you are so close to being 18, but your parents are not allowing you to be independent and make more of your own choices.

      From what we know if you leave home without permission, your mom does have the option of reporting you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your mom can ask that police return you home. However, it is less likely they would get involved if you only stay one night and return home. There is no minimum time a parent needs to wait to report a runaway, so unfortunately the runaway report is a risk that comes with leaving home without permission. The good news is that you would not be in any legal trouble. Any consequences would be from your mom and not necessarily the police.

      If you have any further questions or you would like to talk more about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #96
    im 17 and turning 18 in 6 months i have been through a lot in the past year and i just want out. everything is always my fault im always getting blamed always the one getting in trouble. everyone makes me feel so bad about myself and so negative, i need to be somewhere that ill feel safe and loved and supported and i just wanna move out i know that my situation isnt bad but i dont know how much longer i can take it im so sick and tired of feeling this way. im 17 and is being treated like an 12 year old, if i move out will i get in trouble? im thinking about moving in with my boyfriend family will they get in trouble? can they make me go back?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
      It must be super frustrating to constantly be blamed for everything and to always be getting in trouble. One option you could consider would be talking with your parents about how you are feeling, they might not realize what they are doing is upsetting to you. Also you could consider speaking to a counselor and they may be able to provide you with options and resources.
      We are not legal experts but we do have some information on the laws. If you were to leave home without permission, your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police do find you it is a possibility they can bring you back home. Also whoever you were to stay with could potentially get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
      We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
      NRS

  • #97
    Hi. I'm 16, turning 17 in two months.
    Although my parents feed me and put a roof over my head, I want to leave because they mentally and verbally hurt me. Everything is about religion. Every movement, every action. Today, when i accidentally touched a hot pan, I got beat for saying ow instead of saying innarillah (meaning in english: surely we belong to allah and to him we shall return). I'm also bisexual, and them being extremely religious doesn't help because I would get disowned if I come out. Everything is about being the perfect muslim, and with every little thing i do, they are taking away my right to go to college. I'm a good honors student, I'm kind and helpful, and I have big dreams. I have friends who are offering me a place to stay until i get a job and raise up an apartment of my own, but I'm only 16.
    I need to run away because every day that i live here, my mental health gets worse and worse. Filing an emancipation would include lawyers and the court and my parents cnnot know. It would be the end of me. If i run away when I turn 17, will the police go after me? will they force me to go back home? Are they going to file me as a missing person? I still have one year of high school left, and then college, and i want it to go peacefully.

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello there –

      Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are here for you through these tough times we are facing, and are happy to answer any questions you may have regarding runaway or homeless youth.

      I understand that you are 16 years old, and in most states the age of majority is 18 years old. This means that someone under 18 is the responsibility of their parent or guardian. If you were to move out of your parent's house without their permission they could possibly file a runaway report. This is a report filed with your local police office that would allow the police to return you to your parent’s custody if you were to come in contact with them. We are not legal experts here at NRS but we would like to make you aware of possible outcomes.

      You may want to consider talking with your parent's to arrange an alternate housing agreement with your friend. This means that your parent's give their permission for you to live with a family member or a friend for the time being. This is something your parent would have to agree to if you are underage. It is great to hear that you are continuing your education and going to college. That must be a really exciting transition for you and it will allow you a lot more freedom than living at home.

      I understand that you are worried about the verbal and physical abuse you've been enduring in your household. If this is something that you would like to be handled by an authority figure you can reach out to your local Child Services Department to file a child neglect or abuse form. We understand that this is a very tough decision, and if you would like to take that route, we are available to walk you through the process over the phone.

      If you would like more information regarding your situation we urge you to reach out to us on our 24/7 toll-free number at 1(800)-RUNAWAY. We can give you case specific information as well as resources to help you navigate this decision.

      Thank you again for reaching out and stay safe!

  • #98
    Hello, my girlfriend is 17 and has a lot of family issues and it has become more and more unstable in her home and she recently had to leave home one night due to her father assaulting me outside of their house. She no longer feels safe In her home. We both have jobs and can fairly simply support ourselves. Her father is verbally and physically abusive and I have witnessed firsthand on many occasions and have videos of some of these incidents including when I was assaulted. However, the intention isn’t to see anyone get in trouble we would both just like to distance ourself from her family for the time being. I was informed to press charges on him for the assault but I refused due to the fact that that it not how I want to handle the situation. However when she did leave, her parents threatened to call the cops even though we called the non emergency police and they said neither of us could get in trouble for what happened. When she returned home, she was punished and also her parents set up constant video cameras in her house that were sent live to their Phones. I understand everyone parents differently, however they make her feel unsafe from the constant years of abuse and mental instability. She is unable to sleep at night with her door locked due to all of these reasons. Her parents also seem to think her feelings are obsolete and they make jokes and laugh. Her parents always apologize however nothing ever changes. She wants to move out but she is 17 for 8 more months. As I previously stated, we both work and can support ourselves and I have already contacted the local non emergency police and all they said was she could not get in trouble for leaving and they wouldn’t force her to go home if she didn’t feel safe. I was wondering if this was true to the extent that she could move out being able to support herself without any help From her parents? Thank you

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #99
    Hi I'm 17. I have been in foster care, and ive been back home for almost 2 years now. Nothing has changed between my mother I. we are still toxic for each other. Is it possible for me to go back into foster care?.... can i get in trouble for leaving again?
    Last edited by ccsmod3; 02-09-2021, 05:32 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks you for reaching out to us, we understand how tough it can be and we hope to be able to help as best we can!
      It must be tough going back home and finding things have not changed, you have the right to contact someone about this. You do not deserve to be abused physically or verbally. Foster care can be difficult to live with but your safety is always priority! If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. Child Help may be able to help answer questions about you possibly going back to the same foster home if you had developed a good relationship with them. You would not get into any kind of trouble for trying to find options that would make you feel the safest.

      We hope this helps, please don’t hesitate to call or chat with us if you would like further help.

      Stay strong,
      NRS

  • Im 17 (turning 18 in a little over 2 months) i live on longisalnd ( boarder of nassau and suffolk county ) new york. My mother has been verbally,physcally, emotionally,and mentally abusing me for years to the point where cps and cops have been involved multiple times but nothing whent on dueto lack of evidence. She is disabled and has full custody of me. we are also being evicted due to back rent due bc of the pandemic. im graduating in less that a week and she has toldme to get out after graduation several times. I have a place to go but i dont want to get anyone else into trouble. Idk what to do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thank you ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home have been so tough. It is never ok for anyone to be abusive to you in any way, you deserve to live in a space where you can feel safe. It sounds like you have a great support system and have secured a safe place for yourself, but you are concerned about getting someone in trouble if you stay there. Although we cannot tell you what to do, we will do our best to share information that might help you figure out your next steps.

      If your mom is hurting you, you have the right to report this abuse to your local child protective services. It sounds like either you or others that have observed her behavior have made reports in the past, but you have not been removed. If she has hurt you since the last time a report was made and you still have a case worker, it may help to reach out to that caseworker directly. If you do not have a caseworker and do not know how to contact CPS, Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed.

      Regarding your question about staying with someone else, we are not legal experts, but we can share general information. One option you might have to get information specific to your area is to reach out to your local police at their non-emergency number to ask whether it is legally possible for you to stay with someone that is not your mom (who has legal custody of you) for the last 2 months you are considered a minor. In your previous messages, it sounded like she was threatening to kick you out. If this is the case, it may also help to let local police know that she is locking you out, or refusing to allow you to stay there. Another option might be to reach out to your local legal aid office. They can be reached by calling (631) 853-5212 or at their website http://sclas.org/ . If you would like help identifying the contact information for your local police non-emergency number, or if you just want to talk to someone, please don't hesitate to give us a call or send us a chat.

      Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will support your efforts to keep yourself safe as you explore your options. If you would like to talk more in detail please reach out to us by phone at at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

      -NRS
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