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17 year old in NY wants to move out

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  • #91
    I am not looking for advice for myself but for my sons gf. She is recently 17 and they have an 9 months old son. We r military and had to leave the state, she wanted to come with us but her parents said no which I understand even tho I do not agree with a lot of things that went on in their home. Since we have left things have gotten worse, they threaten her all the time, call her names, keep her from going anywhere but school, they don't include her in a lot of family things and are trying to get her to get on welfare or disability for her son(there's nothing wrong with him). She receives money (along with her other siblings) for her dads accident. She isn't allowed the money and when she asked if she could move out after graduation she was told point blank no because we do to want to lose your money. My question is other than emancipation can you leave after she graduates or does she have to stay until she's 18? And to be honest I believe they are a risk to my grandsons health and well being.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are really concerned about your son’s girlfriend well-being as well as your grandchild. It’s a good thing she has you for support. You mentioned that you are concerned if she can legally leave her household after graduation. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. Since your son's girlfriend is under 18 if she leaves home, her parent/guardian may file her as a runaway and she may be returned home. Also, those she stays with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway.
      Some cities and departments treat them differently because a 17 year old is so close to becoming a legal adult. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. It sounds like she is experiencing financial abuse and could be in a toxic environment. She can contact Child Help at 1800-422-4453 and find out her options as far as reporting that her family members are taking her money. If she wants to explore other options she may have or if you want to call and talk or explore more options feel free to contact us at 1800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7, confidential and here to help! Best of luck!
      Last edited by ccsmod3; 10-21-2019, 02:48 AM.

  • #92
    Hi I’m 17. I’m not in a great home life situation. I been mentally abused my whole life, my dad is to lazy to bring me to my own tharapy sessions which is vary important bc I just got diagnose with bipolar disorder 2, going home feels like going I’m going to prison. I want to run away but i am afraid of the outcome. I live in New York and I want to move in with my boyfriend. Would I get in-trouble or can my boyfriend get in trouble.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.

      While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. This could be a consequence of moving in with your boyfriend. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.

      You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your dad. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #93
    Can I move out of my house if I’m 17 and don’t want to deal with my family’s ******** no more?? It is 295 days until I turn 18 so how can I move out or get out of this house?? I am in 11th grade and I don’t want to deal with these people anymore and I might be pregnant so they might kick me out anyways

    Comment


    • ccsmod16
      ccsmod16 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.

      You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents’ permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. Here at the National Runaway Safeline we also offer a conference call service where we can mediate a call between you and your parents to ensure that the conversation is respectful and everyone’s voice has a chance to be heard.

      You can also look into emancipation options, if that is something you’re interested in. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
      Pregnancy can be really exciting, but also a scary and confusing time. You deserve to be getting support as you think through your options and make a plan. Planned Parenthood might be a great resource for you as it can connect you with affordable medical care, family planning, and parenting classes. You can contact them at 1-800-230-7526 or go to www.plannedparenthood.org to find more information and a clinic in your area.

      If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

      Stay safe,
      NRS

  • #94
    I want to move out and i am 17. I go to school im in 11th grade and i might be pregnant. My family is not helping me they are only causing me stress and pain. They wont help me out with school when im being bullied and harassed. They wont let me get home schooled or go to an alternative school. I just want to have a normal life with my baby and boyfriend but when people even my family members wont help me out i dont know what i am going to do. If anyone can help me out please text me back or anything please and thank you.


    I live in Tonawanda and i dont want to put up with any of this anymore so if you can help me please help.


    Will i be able to keep my kid? Will i be able to live with my boyfriend? Will i be able to go to school??

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We are sorry you are going through so much. Unfortunately your parents have custody of you until you are an adult (1 meaning that if you left home they have the right to file a runaway report with the cops. They would then be looking for you and if anyone is housing you they can charged with harboring a runaway. Those charges can look different from state to state. If you are looking to live with your boyfriend it might be a good idea to seek legal advice as we are not legal experts and a lawyer would be able to help out with custody and baby issues.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #95
    Hi I’m 17 and want to stay at my boyfriends for the night if my mom called the cops can they make me come home if we are safe and he is the same age as me?

    Comment


    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to NRS. Sometimes it can be frustrating when you are so close to being 18, but your parents are not allowing you to be independent and make more of your own choices.

      From what we know if you leave home without permission, your mom does have the option of reporting you as a runaway. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your mom can ask that police return you home. However, it is less likely they would get involved if you only stay one night and return home. There is no minimum time a parent needs to wait to report a runaway, so unfortunately the runaway report is a risk that comes with leaving home without permission. The good news is that you would not be in any legal trouble. Any consequences would be from your mom and not necessarily the police.

      If you have any further questions or you would like to talk more about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at 1800runaway.org.

      Best of luck,
      NRS
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