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17 year old in NY wants to move out

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  • #61
    Hey there,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you taking the time to explain a bit about the situation.

    It sounds like you’re really mature and responsible. Having a job and a plan is a great to hear. You deserve to live in a respectful home and neglect is never okay. It’s great to hear that your grandparents are there for you. If you leave your parents’ home and move in with your grandparents, without their consent, they could go to police. In some situations, where youth is 17 and turning 18 in the near future, police won’t do anything. We offer conference calling between youth and police. If you wanted to call into our safeline, we can call the police with you, to check in with their protocols. If you think that your parents won’t contact the police on your grandparents for letting you live there, you should be okay on the legal side.

    Our safeline is open 24/7. You’re never alone and we’re always a call away. If you wanted to call out to police with us, don’t hesitate to contact us.

    Be safe, NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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    • #62
      17 year old ho wants to live with his grandma

      i am 17 years old. i live in queens nyc. i want to leave my mom house because she doesnt not treat me good. She doesnt hit me just insults me. i want to go live with my grandma she is a owner of a tire shop. Can i go live with my grandma?

      Comment


      • #63
        Reply: 17 year old ho wants to live with his grandma

        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.
        In most states 18 years old is the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. A person under the age of 18 leaving home without permission, a parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city.

        Generally speaking, a minor that encounters a police officer while reported as a runaway, may likely be detained until they can be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows a runaway to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. A good way to find out the laws in your area is to call the non-emergency number of your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. Does that make sense?

        NRS is here to listen and here to help.
        If you would like to speak more about your situation please contact us.
        To contact NRS call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or live chat with us at www.1800Runaway.org

        Take care,
        NRS

        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #64
          Hey .. Im 16 years old and i have a 2 year old daughter ..
          I really want to move out my house ... Im still in school , my mom charges me 200 dollers monthy for my room ( i do not work ) .. my babys father is 23 years old .. yes he is a bit to old for me but honestly hes been there for be these 3 years
          we used to live together about 1 year ago with my mom he would py 500 for the room .. everr since out daughter was born he had cared for both of us Never did i have to ask my mom for money .. my mom separted us than again united us but now were not living together .. i want to know if theres anything i can do to move out with him because things at home never are ok my mom barly be home shes always making up rumors putting my family against me .. i feel depressed living with her i put in all my work to maintain the apartment clean i always cook take care of my ypunger brother .. I dont have acess to any paper work of my daughter .. its got to the point where i just cant take it anymore i go to my room crying i just wanna cry all day my mom always screams at me telling me to leave the house and i do wanna leave but she is capable to put a file on my running away with my babydaddy . i cant take her treats , lies ... anymoree . i love the father of my child and he loves me we’ve been together for 3 years everything i have is because of him i honestly understand im to young for this and that but ever since day 1 i had to do everything by myself it was me and my daughter and thanks to the father of my child i never missed anything .. i honestly love my little family .. i also love my mother but i cant take her manibulating me every single time .. please i need help i basically have nobody my mom is just my legal guardian she always tells me to leave but tells me that if i leave i leave alone and she’s gonna take my child away because by law my daughter is under my moms name becasue im a menor .. please any information let me know anything that could help me move out with any problems with my 23 year old babydaddy . i live in new york queens please its urgent for me...

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,

            Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a rough time and we are here to listen and see how we can help.

            You mention wanting to move out with your babydaddy who is 23. Because you are a minor, you are required to live with your mom. However, you are legally able to live with your baby's father if your mom gives you permission. It sounds like your mom wants you to leave, but would file a runaway report if you did. If she did file a runaway report, and you were picked up by the police after you left home, the police would take you back home. Unfortunately, if your mom is the legal guardian of your baby, then taking your baby with you if you ran away would be considered kidnapping. It sounds like you are in a tough place- deciding whether to leave your mom and your baby to be with your babydaddy, or to stay home with your baby but have to deal with the stress of your mom. Since leaving home would more likely than not result in you being returned back home, we may want to explore options that would make living with your mom easier until you are no longer a minor.

            Sometimes people find it easier to live with stressful parents by talking to a therapist or school counselor. We can help find an affordable therapist in your area if you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also offer a conference call service where we can talk with you and your mom together and discuss some rules and expectations to make living together a bit easier. If you opted to leave home, we can help find you shelters to stay at if you gave us a call.

            Thank you again for contacting us, please give us a call if you have any questions or want to discuss your options further.

        • #65
          Hello,
          I would really like to help my friend because he would like to run away from home. It's his personal business so I won't say much, but basically my mother offered for him to live with us, so I was wondering if there are any legal issues regarding harboring a runaway minor.

          Thanks

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,

            Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. We appreciate you reaching out to us on behalf of your friend, it seems like you care about him a lot. It is nice to know that your mom is even willing to take him in. He must feel supported and validated by that. We can definitely give you some information on runaway laws and hopefully that will help you out a bit.

            So when someone leaves home under the age of 18 they are usually considered a runaway. Their parent could go to their local police department and file a runaway report for them. Running away is not illegal, but it is considered a status offense so the police would be looking for him and could take him back home if they found him. We are not legal experts, but it is unlikely that he would get arrested or anything just for running away. There is a chance that your mother could get into trouble for what is called harboring a runaway. This does not mean that the police would go to your home and arrest your mom. It means that if his parents wanted, they could press charges against your mom for what is called "harboring a runaway". They would have to, by their own means, take your mom to court using their own money, a lawyer, etc.

            If you'd like anymore information or just want to talk more about what you're going through please feel free to reach out to us again! You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help as best as we can.

        • #66
          Hi, i am 17 years old and i want to run away to missouri with my dad but a couple years ago he didn’t show up to court and lost parental rights to me. But i want to run away from him. Where i live currently i am always getting put down and verbally abused. It’s always screaming and fighting with me and my mom and i can’t take it. Could i get in any sort of trouble for doing this??

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,

            It can be difficult asking for help and we are really glad you reached out to us. You do not deserve to be verbally abused and screamed at. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and are considering running away.

            In addition to being available by bulletin, we have a 24/7 hotline (1-800-786-2929) and are always here to help and provide referrals. We are not legal experts and consequences for running away may differ depending on where you are. If you do decide to run away and are staying with someone, that person could be charged with harboring a runaway. If you have legal questions a non-emergency police number may be able to help. We are also able to provide additional legal resources and support.

            You do not deserve to be abused. If you are interested in a resource specific for abuse prevention and support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453) may be a helpful resource. We can also provide support around abuse reporting and other resources, if you are interested in learning more about that.

            It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we are always here to help. Do not hesitate to call.

            Good Luck,
            NRS

        • #67
          Hi! I'm sixteen and I live in Stillwater New York. I need to get out of my parents' house for my mental health. I was admitted in Four Winds, a local mental hospital, over the summer for wanting to commit suicide. My mother is constantly tearing me down, maybe unintentionally, to the point where I cry nearly daily. I want to run away to my grandparent's house. I want to get out of here before I commit suicide to find a way out... Can I legally do this without my mother's consent?

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello there,
            Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re glad to hear from you. It sounds like you’ve been going through a lot lately and things are really overwhelming at home. It’s great that you decided to come to us today, it takes a lot of courage to ask for help.
            We’re so sorry to hear about what you’ve been experiencing. You don’t deserve to be torn down by your mother. That sounds really difficult. It’s not uncommon for someone experiencing such a thing to feel like the only way out is to hurt yourself. Your safety is the most important thing to us! It might be helpful for you to reach out to someone you trust for support at this time. If you’d like some help in keeping you safe, we’d be happy to talk to you about it in more detail here. If you wanted to call us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) someone here could help you come up with a plan. You could also try contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or try their chat at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org .
            It sounds like you’re considering running away to your grandparents. We are not legal experts here, but we do know that if you left without your legal guardian’s permission they could call the police to try to get you returned home. If you stay with someone as a runaway, they may be charged with “harboring a runaway”.
            Do you think it’s possible to get permission from your mother about trying to stay with your grandparents for a little while? Sometimes a break from daily home life can be very beneficial. If you’d like help talking to mom about this, we could help you with a conference call service that we offer here. All you’d have to do is give us a call and we’d be able to call mom for a conversation.
            If that sounds like something you’d like to do or you just want to vent about your situation in general, we’d love to hear from you. We’re 24/7 here and also have a Live Chat right here on this website.
            Hope to hear from you soon,
            NRS

        • #68
          Hi I'm 17 years old and living with my grandparents. I'd like to move out and live with my girlfriend ( she'll be 17 in 2 months and her parents. My grandparents told me I couldn't until I graduated from school. I love her so much!

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you really care about your girlfriend and you want to move in with her. The fastest way to move out would be to get your guardians permission. It seems as though your grandparent’s would like you to wait until you graduate from school. If you are not willing to wait and decide to leave home, your grandparents have the right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you to your grandparents. Although running away is not illegal, if you decide to stay with your girlfriend without your grandparents consent, her parents could get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
            If you have any questions or just feel the need to talk, please feel free to contact us directly through our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), or live chat. Good Luck !

        • #69
          Hi, I am 15 and never to get out of this house ASAP! I am trying to do it legally however since my parents keep threatening on calling the cops on anyone that will take me in. They have not only abuse me physically but also mentally. I went to the cops and everything and everyone makes light of my situation... I am not safe! My parent has already lost custody from child abuse yet they still are making me stay in this house. PLESE tell me how to get out !

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Thank you for writing in. It sounds like you’re in a really scary situation at home and it’s brave of you to reach out. We’re so sorry to hear that your parents have been abusing you and that the police have not taken your situation seriously. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. One resource that might be helpful is the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. This hotline is not just for reporting abuse (which it sounds like you already have); they can help talk you through your options and how you might navigate this situation.
            While we’re not legal experts, one option that you might look into is emancipation, whereby you would become your own legal guardian. This process can be lengthy and expensive due to legal fees, but it might be a good option for you if you’re looking to get out of your situation legally. If you’re interested in pursuing this option, you can reach out to one of the legal aid organizations in your area.
            If you’d like to speak about your situation more specifically, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Our lines are open 24/7 so someone is always here to help. Best of luck to you.

        • #70
          Hi I'm 17 years old and possibly pregnant.... Would I legally be allowed to move out if that were the case

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello,
            Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through a tough situation.
            Although we are not lawyers and cannot give you legal advice, we have resources that can help you. Depending what state you live, you may be able to move out at 17 years old. We offer conference calls between the police department of your state to ask about your concerns. Feel free to call the National Runaway Safeline for additional support. We are open 24/7.
            Again, thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and you are trying to figure out what to do which is really good to see.
            You mentioned you may possibly be pregnant. Have you considered contacting planned parenthood? They may give you free pregannacy test, or they may be able to help you contact your nearest clinic. Being 17 and pregnant can be a big responsibility and It's great that you're considering your options. We are here to support you with whatever you decide to do.

        • #71
          I want to move in with my older bio sister. I am adopted and want to leave when I'm 17. I live in NY and will be 17 in mid April. Can my adopted parents try to bring us to court or arrest me?







          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there, looks like you sent the same post to us via email. We responded to your email first. Please see our email and call or chat us if you additional questions or need resources.

            Best of luck!

            -NRS

        • #72
          I'm trying to find some information regarding NY State laws. I was told there is a change that took place as of the first of the year that a minor of the age of 17 is not legally able to leave their parents (or guardians) care, but they now are required to be 18. I can't find anything online right off, so I was wondering if you have any information.

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you might be going through a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.

            We’re not legal experts here at NRS. Generally it’s not illegal to leave home, but your mom could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home. The people you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble for having you stay there. Some police departments don’t accept runaway reports for 17 year olds, but the policies may vary by each department. You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.

            There is also a website, https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/, where you can learn about some specific laws in each state. According to this website, the legal age to be an adult in New York is 18. There are also many resources that could help you talk through what’s been going on or help you with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.
            Again, thank you or contacting us. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

        • #73
          hi i am 15 year old an i am pregnant with sixtuplets can i move out with my bf with out my moms approval

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello, thanks for posting to our forum! It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. We are glad you reached out for help!
            We are not legal experts but as far as we understand it while you are a minor (under 18 in most states) leaving home without your parents’ permission can result in you being filed as a runaway. Running away is not a crime but your parents can let the police know you left and the police can come look for you and return you home. Also, any adult (18 or older) you do stay with could be charged with a crime, so that is something to keep in mind too if you think your mom would press charges on your boyfriend or his family. As a minor, leaving home is most easily done through parent’s permission. Perhaps having a conversation with your mom about living with your boyfriend is worthwhile. We also offer conference calling with parents if you would like help having a neutral person on the phone with you. We are 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.
            We also have a few resources for your pregnancy. Sex Etc. (sexetc.org) is a great online resource with posts about pregnancy, dating, talking to your parents and options for pregnancy. Planned Parenthood (1-800-230-7526, plannedparenthood.org) can help you find a clinic near you so you can get pre-natal care for you and your babies for an affordable price or free if you qualify.
            If you need any more resources or want to talk about more options for moving out, feel free to call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or on our live chat on the website 4:30-11:30pm daily. You are not alone and are very strong for handling this pregnancy. We are here to support you. Best of luck and reach out anytime!

        • #74
          Hello,

          I am 16 years old going on 17 in 2 months and I live with my father. My mother passed away when I was 12 and I have been living with him since. Recently he has become more aggressive and verbally attacks me a lot. I do not feel safe mentally living here and I was wondering if there was a way I could legally leave home without getting in trouble. Also I was wondering if I leave home without his permission if I could get in trouble legally. He has threatened me multiple times to put me in a foster home and has told me legal lies about meeting with cops and never did. I do not know what to do anymore I just need help getting out of here as soon as possible

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there!

            Thank you so much for reaching out, we know it is not always the easiest thing to do, but it shows maturity that you are using all of the resources available to you. It sounds like you have been dealing with a very scary and stressful situation, and it is great that you are trying to take care of yourself as best you can. It makes sense that you would want to leave a place where you don’t feel like you can be mentally healthy.

            We are not legal experts, but we can give you some general information about your situation. In most states the legal age of majority is 18 which means that until then your parents are responsible for taking care of you. If you were to run away, they would likely file a runaway report. However, some police stations do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds, so when you turn 17 you could call them and ask if they take runaway reports for 17 year olds. If they don’t, this means that you could leave home and the police would not look for you to bring you home. If a runaway report was filed, however, it would only be considered a status offense like breaking curfew and would not go on a permanent record. If the police found you, though they would most likely bring you home. If your parents wanted, they could press charges on anyone that you are staying with if they could prove that the person knew you were a runaway.

            Again, it is great that you are using all of the resources available to you to find out your best option. If you have more questions or want someone to talk to, feel free to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 and would be happy to talk to you.

            Best of Luck,
            NRS

        • #75
          I am 16 years old in new york state and I don't get out very much at all without being interrogated by my parents. I really wanna go out freely but I'm always trapped. What would happen if I just left without asking them?

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,

            Thanks for sharing your story with us, we will do our best to answer your questions.
            In New York State, you are considered a minor until you turn 18. If you left home without your parent’s permission, it is not considered a crime, but it is considered a “status offense”. This means that your parents can file a runaway report, and if the police find you: the police will return you to your parents’ home.
            It sounds like what you are really interested in is more independence. You wish you could go out more easily without feeling trapped by your parents. If you would like to talk more about the particulars of your situation, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUN-AWAY (786-2929) and we can brainstorm ways that we can talk to your parents about your independence. One possibility is a conference call where NRS mediates a conversation between you and your parents. It can be a good way to approach tough conversations that you are not sure how to begin.

            We wish you the best of luck,

            National Runaway Safeline

            We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
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