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  • #46
    Re: 17 year old in NY wants to move out

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline and sharing with us some of your story. We are so sorry to hear that home with your mom is not where you want to be. No one deserves to be verbally or physically mistreated. It sounds like you are more comfortable with your dad and would prefer to live with him. We are really glad that you reached out to us in deciding what is best for you. We are here to listen and support you in what ways we can.

    You are asking some really good questions about what happens if you were to leave, it sounds like you have been thinking about this for a while. Here at NRS we are not legal experts, but we can speak in general terms on what could happen if you were to leave. Generally you are 18 when you become an adult. If you were to leave before then, your parents would have the option of filing a runaway report. A runaway report is not a criminal offense on you or your family. It is a status offense which means if you are found then you will be brought back home with no criminal charges placed on you.

    You mentioned that you are wanting to leave North Carolina and move in with your dad in New York. One thing to keep in mind is that if you were being helped or were staying with an adult then they would be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense for them. The severity of that changes in each state and is up to either the police, your mom or both. Also, because you would be crossing state lines the charges for harboring a runaway could be increased to a federal charge as opposed to a state charge. This might be a good time to see if your dad would be willing to take that risk.

    Lastly, you mentioned that you are 17 and have graduated from high school. 17 can be considered a tricky age, because you are so close to being 18, and in your situation you have already graduated. This is generally up to the police to make the decision if they will force you to come back home with your mom. One option you have is to contact your local police, the department your mom would possibly file the report, and ask them in general terms what would happen to a youth in your situation. Another option is to call our hotline at 1800-RUNAWAY and we can make the outgoing call to your local police and the police in NY to see how they would respond if they were to find you. Because you are 17, graduated, and far from the state, depending when you turn 18, they may not force you to return home.

    We hoped this helped and if you would like to discuss your situation in greater detail you can call our hotline or chat with us on our website. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #47
      17 in NY. Need to move out.

      Hi. I am 17 years old and need to move out. My parents are terrible, verbally and emotionally abuse me and take away my rights as a human being. I will be 18 in April of 2017. Is going through the emancipation process even worth it or should I just wait it out till I'm 18. Can I run away. If I runaway and go to my boyfriends house will my boyfriend get in trouble. I'm also stuck in the situation where I don't want my little siblings taken from my parents because they live a perfect life. I'm just an outcast mistake. Please help

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: 17 year old in NY wants to move out

        Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are dealing with a very stressful living situation. You don’t deserve to be abused (physical, verbally, emotionally) by anyone. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and we are glad that you reached out.

        We are not legal experts meaning we can only give you some general answers to your questions. If you were to run away without permission from your legal guardians, they have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you, they just bring you back home. You mentioned leaving home to live with your boyfriend and it’s great to hear that your boyfriend offers you support in this tough time. We do want you to know that in most states, there is a law against harboring a runaway. Granted, each situation is different. As for emancipation, it can be a long/expensive process. If you would like to get more information on what this process would like, you can call us at 1800RUNAWAY and we can get local legal resources to you.

        We hope this has helped you in some way. Again, thank you for reaching out and we are always here to list. Please feel free to give us a call at 1800RUNAWAY if you have any questions. Stay strong.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #49
          I want to become emancipated at the age of 17.

          I am only 16 and I want to leave my house. I turn 17 in 5 months, also I graduate in January. I want to leave my house and start my life. I don't feel the need to be controlled by parents who don't care for me. I am emotional abuse by my parents. My mother hit me before and had a CPS case, I denied the incident because I have multiple siblings and I didn't want them in foster care. They don't get the treatment I do. My mother let my 18 year old sister fight me and told me if I lay a hand on her she will knock me out. My father doesn't protect me. My father is going social security disability for work. I make my own money and work hard for it, my parents are trying to take my money to help the family. I only make enough to support myself. For the past year I been feeding myself and buying my own clothes. I had to pay for my own drivers Ed and car too.My parents also said if I move out when I'm 18 they are taking my college fund away and my other bank accounts that they saved up for me. My brother almost molested me at the age of 7. I have not told anyone but I get the worst anxiety in that house. I don't want to bring that up to anyone. But I don't feel comfortable. My parents have 6 kids, they like to favor the other siblings. So I took care of myself. My boyfriend's family said I can move in with them free of charge. I also have a friend who will let me rent out their basement. When I graduate I'm getting two more jobs to really support myself. I'll be done with school in January but I will be still 17 for another 9 months, so I don't think the safest place is for me to be in a toxic house where my parents can barley pay bills and buy food, also the place where my mother threatens to beat me, emotional abuse me, and wants to file false police reports against my boyfriend. I would want to be emancipated in January after Highschool. I have a few questions.
          1. How will I start the process of becoming emancipated?
          2. Do I need to be in court or do I need a lawyer.
          3. Would I be able to move out at 17 in the state of New York?
          4. Can my parents take my money? Even if my uncle set up my college fund?

          Comment


          • #50
            Re: I want to become emancipated at the age of 17.

            Hi there,

            It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation with your parents and we are here to support you. You don’t deserve to be abused by your parents, and it can’t be easy living in a toxic house. It sounds like you have worked hard in saving money to be able to support yourself and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. It sounds like you are experiencing anxiety because of how your parents are treating you and we are glad to hear your boyfriend is supporting you during this tough time. While we are not legal experts we can speak generally on your situation. In New York you are considered a minor if you are under 18 years old and would need your parents’ permission to leave home. Running away is a status offence meaning it is illegal to do because of your age but you cannot be arrested or charged for doing so. Only thing to keep in mind is whoever you are staying with can be arrested for harboring a runaway which is a misdemeanor offence. It sounds like you have also done your research on the other option of emancipation. In New York there is no formal statute for acquiring emancipation however a minor can acquire emancipation if they are legally married, in the armed services, or is able to establish an independent home or if the parents have failed to fill their parental obligations. You asked a couple of really good questions that we don’t want to give any false information on. We can provide you with legal aid referrals in your area that would be able to give you legal advice if you could give us a call in at 1-800-RUNAWAY where you can remain confidential.

            Best,
            ~NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #51
              Family trying to make me move. 3 months until 17

              I'm 16 and I live with my parents, little sister and grandparents in NY. Living with them sucks. They bring me down and they've never supported me in anything I wanted to do. they insult me and treat me like their doll. They don't let me leave unless it's for school. They make me clean the house, which is fine I don't really mind, but then they tell everyone how I never do anything. they always make me look like the bad guy and I try everything to make them happy. they are control freaks and they don't want to see me be happy. Now they want to move to NJ and I don't want to leave my friends and boyfriend, they're the ones who make me happy. is it possible that the law will allow for me to stay with my aunt here in NY?

              Comment


              • #52
                RE: Family trying to make me move. 3 months until 17

                Hello,
                Thanks for posting on the National Runaway Safeline forum.
                We’re really glad to hear from you. It sounds like life has been pretty difficult with your family lately. It’s understandable that you’d be really sad about the prospect of leaving your friends and boyfriend behind. That must be so hard to deal with, we’re so sorry that this is happening to you.
                We’re not legal experts here, but as we understand it, you’d need your parent’s permission to live with a relative. If not, they could involve the police to return you home. Have you talked to your Aunt about the possibility of staying with her? It might make it easier to bring up to your parents if you had a relative backing you up.
                If you’d like to discuss this issue further, please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re here to listen and help in any way we can.
                Best of luck,
                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #53
                  .-.

                  I turn 17 March 1st and i really want to move out..you see, my parents make me stay in side all day it i don't like constantly isolating myself. They never let me hang with friends. My mom keeps trying to place me on meds because i get depressed a lot, but i don't need. I need to go outside

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Re: .-.

                    Hello there,

                    Thank you for reaching out today. It sounds like your parents do not let you go outside and keep you isolated. That sounds really unfair and hard to deal with. We are sorry you are going through this.

                    Usually the legal age you can move out without parental permission is 18. The ways you can move out at 17 are: if you get permission from your parents; if there is highly dangerous abuse in your house and you report it to child protective services; or if you get emancipated. Emancipation can be a timely and costly court process where you would have to prove that you are financially self-sufficient.

                    If you leave home without permission before you are 18, your parents can file a runaway report with the police. Typically, if the police find you they would return you back to your parents. Laws and police protocols change from state to state and city to city, so it is hard to predict what would happen in your case. Some police departments do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds since they are close to 18 years old; while other police departments do take runaway reports for 17 year olds and strictly follow the law. You might contact your local police department and ask if they take runaway reports for 17 year olds to try and get a better answer.

                    It sounds like you are currently being treated for depression. You are right, it sounds like going outside could be really helpful for you, and it is unfair that you are stuck inside. If you ever need counseling resources or if you need someone to talk to you, you can always call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7 and here to support you.

                    Best wishes,

                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Hi, i live in rochester new york and am currently 17 and will be 18 in november. My girlfriend is 16 and will be 17 in september. My girlfriend does not have a good life at home. She experiences abuse both physical and mental and wants to leave. My question is if she wants to leave her house when she is 17 would she be allowed to live with me? I know her parents wouldnt let her leave but if she gains emancipation will she be able to stay with me?

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Hi I'm a 17 year old (going to be 18 in 10 months ) who wants to be emancipated


                        The reason behind me wanting to be emancipated is because I get treated like a work horse in my parents home. I'm not saying that there's something wrong with helping around the house but it gets to the point where on weekends all I will do is be on my feet all day and at the end of it I'm I'm alot of physical pain.(one of those reasons being that I've had a messed up ankle for almost 3 months and my parents have known about it and they do believe that it's sprained but wont take me to a doctor to seek medical help nor would they buy a simple brace). I'd buy my own brace or something but they also won't let me work and I have my working card too. I've tried to apply for jobs and then my mom says that she doesn't want me to work because there is men at a job (I'm a girl) and she Also says that she would have to go out of her way for me. My parents also have a rough past with financial issues and they're constantly fighting and they can barely keep our house together. Our roof was actually leaking in the living room today and the house is only as old as I am. I could go on more about why I want to be emancipated but my main concern is my 2 little siblings. If I bring up some of the mental and physical abuse and neglection that my parents have brought to me would my siblings be taken away or would I just be emancipated ?( My parents don't abuse them by the way) also I would need some help putting together my case a Little bit more.
                        Thank you guys so much.

                        Comment


                        • ccsmod2
                          ccsmod2 commented
                          Editing a comment
                          Hey there,

                          We at NRS are not legal resources so we don't know what exactly will happen if you become emancipated. You have a right to tell someone about what you're experiencing. Since you are 17, turning 18 this year, it may help to also plan for how you will support yourself once you are on your own. The court will likely want to know that you can support yourself. It is a good idea to reach out to a legal resource in your area that can give you information about how emancipation works. Usually a legal aid resource can better explain those possibilities.

                          Good luck,
                          NRS

                      • #57
                        Can i leave home at 17

                        Comment


                        • ccsmod10
                          ccsmod10 commented
                          Editing a comment
                          Hey there,

                          Usually the legal age you can move out without parental permission is 18. The ways you can move out at 17 are: if you get permission from your parents; if there is highly dangerous abuse in your house and you report it to child protective services; or if you get emancipated. Emancipation can be a timely and costly court process where you would have to prove that you are financially self-sufficient.

                          If you leave home without permission before you are 18, your parents can file a runaway report with the police. Typically, if the police find you they would return you back to your parents. Laws and police protocols change from state to state and city to city, so it is hard to predict what would happen in your case. Some police departments do not take runaway reports for 17 year olds since they are close to 18 years old; while other police departments do take runaway reports for 17 year olds and strictly follow the law. You might contact your local police department and ask if they take runaway reports for 17 year olds to try and get a better answer.

                          It sounds like you are currently being treated for depression. You are right, it sounds like going outside could be really helpful for you, and it is unfair that you are stuck inside. If you ever need counseling resources or if you need someone to talk to you, you can always call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7 and here to support you.

                          Best wishes,

                          NRS

                      • #58
                        My girlfriend is 17

                        my girlfriend is 17 years old , she has a job , and attends school , her mom is very controlling of everything we do , we've been together for 2 years now and we would like to get our own apartment, she's afraid of leaving because she thinks her mom will call the cops. I've been told by a few people that she can legally get an apartment with me. I've been paying 500$ a month in rent for a room and her mother will probably charge her the same once she turns 18 which will be 1000$ a month which is plenty enough for an apartment. She turns 18 in about 4 months.

                        Comment


                        • ccsmod7
                          ccsmod7 commented
                          Editing a comment
                          Hello there, sounds like you and your girlfriend are planning on moving in together at 17 and you are concerned about her mom calling police. Here at NRS, we truly want to help.

                          Since she is so close to turning 18 it is up to police with whether or not they would take a runaway report for her. Typically police take runaway reports for youth up until they turn 18, but each police department is different. To best see what they might do, you might reach out to her local police department and ask if 17 year olds can move out without being reported as a runaway. If they do take a runaway report for her, they would return her home to her mom if found. The easiest way she could leave home is with her mom’s permission.

                          It is smart of you to reach out about this since you do not want to sign a lease and have her unable to stay; especially with you planning out the finances of paying rent. Also it is a little odd for someone to rent out an apartment to 17 year olds, so if you do not know that leaser you might take extra precautions to make sure they are not taking advantage of you both. You also might be thinking of the other costs that go into living on your own if you haven’t already.

                          Please do not hesitate to reach out via phone or chat if you ever wanted to talk through your situation. You might also give your girlfriend our number.

                          Best of luck,

                          NRS

                      • #59
                        Hi my girlfriend is 14 and I was wondering what is the age you have to be in order to run away in New york. Because she is being abused by people that she isn't even related to. This lady is pretending to be her mom but she isnt and she is using my girlfriend as hostage. To get back at her real mom and dad.

                        Comment


                        • ccsmod10
                          ccsmod10 commented
                          Editing a comment
                          Hey, thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like your girlfriend is in a really tough situation, and it's great that you're there to support her.

                          Running away isn't illegal. It's a status offense, so if your girlfriend were to run away, the police would just return her home if they found her. If they're unable to return her home right away, they might detain her at the station until someone can pick her up. However, they would not return her to an unsafe situation, so if your girlfriend told them she was being abused, they would probably call Child Protective Services.

                          It sounds like your girlfriend is being abused where she is living. If this is the case, has she considered filing an abuse report?

                          You mentioned that your girlfriend is living with a woman who's pretending to be her mom. Is this woman her legal guardian? Would it be possible for your girlfriend to go live with her real mom and dad, or perhaps other relatives?

                          This seems like a pretty complicated situation, so if you'd like to discuss things further, you can call our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-786-2929.

                          Best of luck, and we hope to hear from you soon.

                      • #60
                        Im 17 turning 18 in 5 or 6 months have a job and car get good grades in school and ive been class president since 7th grade and im coming into my senior year as the president too. Im currently enlisting in the U.S Air Force and need to move away because my mother is neglecting me and my sisters and my dad is so strict that i am afraid to be myself. My grandparents said i could live with them i am just wondering if you think i will have any legal complications thanks a ton.

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