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17 year old in NY wants to move out

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  • #16
    Re: 15 years old, but plan to move out at 18 years old

    Hey there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us and allowing us to help you through this incredibly difficult time in your life. We can only imagine what you’re going through and hope that we can help you in any way possible.
    We’re sorry that you’re dealing with so much at home. No one deserves to be treated this way and it’s important that you know your options. We’re not legal experts, but we’ll try our best to give you a general idea of potential outcomes to what you’re considering.

    If you are under the age of majority and you decide to leave your parents’ home without consent, your parents do have the right to contact their local police department and make a runaway report. If you were to be found while on the run, you would be charged for running away. This is a status offense, and you would only simply have to be returned home upon being found. If the people you were staying with were legal adults, they could be charged with harboring a runaway. The consequences for this vary case by case and depend on different circumstantial factors.

    But someone is over the age of 18, they would not have to consider the legal implications mentioned above. But for both situations, planning out how you’ll be accessing basic needs and resources as well as any other potential obstacles you may run into while you’re off on your own are important to run through.
    Again, we’re incredibly sorry that you have to feel this way and deal with so much at home. It’s important that you have outlets and resources that you can take advantage of to help you get what you need during these times. Some things that may be helpful to consider in the meantime:
    -Talking things out to a school counselor
    -Taking advantage of friends, family members, and people in your community that you feel safe with and can trust
    -Knowing what you can do to get a break from uncomfortable situations at home (going out for a little bit, journaling, etc.)

    And if things do become increasingly intolerable at home, you can look into a local child protective service or agency in your area. They can either help you with more legal advice or potentially open up a case for you.
    We really hope that some of this has helped you out a bit. If you’d like to talk more, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1(800)RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our lines are open 24/7 and we’re always here to talk.
    Thank you again for reaching out!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #17
      Im 17. I'll be 18 in June.

      I was in foster care when I was little then my grandmother got full custody of me but I have recently (the past 4 months) been mostly staying with my boyfriend. I am still fully going to school, have a job and transportation. Before I moved in with him I was being verbally abused at home all the time. Screaming yelling. Even getting hit at times. Accused of stealing and lying. That stopped around December because our house burned down and we were staying with my great grandparents and I started staying with my boyfriend. We have a house now as of March. But I have stayed there 4 times since then. Recently its starting back up. Getting accused of lying. Being called names. I want to pick up all my stuff and move out. But she is basically threatening me to go to court over it. Im doing so much better without her. Is there anything I can do??? Besides get emancipated??? Since Ill be 18 next month will the still take me back to her house???

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Im 17. I'll be 18 in June.

        Hello,
        Thank you for reaching out to us hear at the National Runaway Safeline. We are hear 24 hours a day to help in the best way we can. You took a great step in contacting us.

        It sounds like you’ve gone through a lot and I think it’s great that you’ve decided to reach out at this point. We’re sorry to hear about the abuse that you have experienced, there’s never a justification for acts like that. It’s good to hear that you have been able to find a place that you feel safe and have been able to focus on school and work. That takes a lot of strength and determination. We are not legal advisors here, however, generally speaking, anyone you are staying with (without consent from your legal guardian) could possibly face charges of harboring a runaway. Would your grandmother be ok with you staying with another relative or another adult that you would feel safe with until you are 18 and able to decide on your own?

        You asked whether or not the police would bring you back home, or what they would do since you are so close to being 18. This is a good question. The best way to find out the answer would be to call your local police department, and ask hypothetically. The procedure that the police follow varies by state, and even by county for 17 year olds. If this is something that you are not entirely comfortable doing alone, you can give us a call here and we can do a conference call with you.
        If you would like any other resources or have any other questions please call at us toll-free at any time.

        Take care and thank you for reaching out to us,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #19
          Could you answer some questions for me please?

          I am currently 16 years old but my birthday is in two months I will be turning 17 and I live in New York State. I was woundering the following, 1) if I ran away the day I turn 17 could the people I stay with get intruble with the law? And if my parents filed a report would I have to go back home?

          Comment


          • #20
            RE: Could you answer some questions for me please?

            Hello there –

            Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public bulletin board. From your post we can see that you have very similar questions to a lot of our post here and you’re looking for some answers. Well it seems like there must be a lot going on in your life right now that your considering just leaving on your 17th birthday.

            Like we tell a lot of our posters and/or visitors on our public bulletin board, the laws on that specific subject of running away vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. Generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), what generally happens; your parents or legal guardian would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. If your parents do make a runaway report and you are planning on staying with someone else, your parents can press charges on that family for harboring a runaway when they are not giving accurate information on her whereabouts. That could lead to a number of different legal issues. So that might be something to keep in mind.

            Thank you so much again for reach out for our help in this very different time in your life. If you would give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help find some resources in the area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you have been having recently. We do also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #21
              13 year old needs to run away but there no place to stay

              Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl and I want to really run away. But really I'm just 13. My parents really confuse me though... One day they're all nice but most of the times that call me names. When I wear a half sleeve shirt they say to m showing SOO much skin and that I'm becoming too modern. They hit me a lot and sometimes I think of killing myself... Only in worst scenarios. I know this isn't normal because I know nobody who goes to my school thinks of running away. Sometimes I wish I could be 18 years already...but then I would've spent 6 years wasting it. But if I was 16 I would need my parents permission to get out and I know for sure they wouldn't. They even talk about ME BEING MARRIED!!! To a random stranger... But I still I want to live my life.. Go to school.. Get a career. I need t run away but I know I'm too young please help

              Comment


              • #22
                13 year old needs to run away but there no place to stay

                Hello,

                It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on and we’re glad you reached out. We’re sorry to hear how confusing your parent’s comments are to you. You also mentioned how they hit you a lot and you sometimes think of killing yourself. Please know we care about your safety and even if these feelings of killing yourself are only in the worst scenarios, it still sounds serious. If you are feeling suicidal, we’re here to talk to you and there’s also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Also, you don’t deserve to be hit, especially if it is happening a lot. If you believe you are being abused, you do have the right to try and file a child abuse report with your local Child Protective Services. https://www.childhelp.org/ can also help when it comes to situations of abuse and neglect too.

                We’re here to offer support and help as best as we can. We’re not here to make the decision of whether or not to run away for you and sit sounds like even you have some doubts due to your age. We’d be happy to discuss pros and cons and hopefully help you come up with some options to deal with your situation. Please don’t be afraid to try reaching out directly either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or if you’d like to keep talking online through our Live Chat. Good luck!
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #23
                  please help!

                  Im in new york an turn 18 in like 2 weeks. M family is all abusive an always try to keep me locked up in the house an yell at me for nothing. If i moved out would the cops make me come home? i have one year of school left an my boyfrienda family are letting me stay with them an help me. Would the cops still make me go home even if i wait till im 18?

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    re: please help!

                    Hello there,

                    This sounds like a frustrating situation for you, so we are really glad you reached out to us. Sometimes it’s difficult to live with people who you don’t always get along with. However, you have options!

                    It depends on the state, but typically you are considered an adult at the age of 18. You can check your state’s laws here: www.sexetc.org. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes different counties treat cases differently. If you really want to know for sure, the best thing to do might be to call your police department directly and ask a general question about how they would handle a case like this.

                    It sounds like you have a lot of support from your boyfriend and his parents, though, which is great. Like we said, it is awesome that you are taking steps to care for yourself and reaching out to us. If you would like to talk more about what is going on at home, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat us at www.1800RUNAWAY.org.


                    Best of luck!


                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      15 year old wants to leave a parent

                      My mother is unstable. She has attempted suicide because of my dad talking to a female friend. She hit him with a cane, bit him, ripped his shirt, and left him with several bruises. She has fits of hysteria and thats why i took so long to ask for help. She has kept me silenced by saying that people will rape me or worse. As for what she has done to me she verbally and physically abuses me. She constantly calls me names like evil child, stupid, and retarded. She also constantly puts me down. She then hits me for idiotic reasons like not knowing where her stuff is or not doing things the way she invisions it. She never leaves a mark because she's smart. She has had two child services cases on her but she sweet talks her way out. Please help.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        re: 15 year old wants to leave a parent

                        Hello!

                        Thanks for reaching out to us, we hope that you are able to find our response helpful.

                        All of this must be very frustrating for you, and we’re sorry that you have to go through all of this, no one deserves to be feeling this way. Have you talked to anyone else about this? How do you deal with the situation when it happens? What does your dad do when all this happens? Perhaps if you would like to talk to someone a little further about what is going on at home or if you wanted to see how you would go about this situation, you are more than welcome to go ahead and give us a call.

                        We just want to let you know that it is very brave of you to seek help, and you should never feel bad for doing so. It must be so frustrating to know that Child Protective Services is not doing anything to better the situation. We have a phone number that helps youth whom are in a similar situation as you, where Child Protective Services is not really helping, this hotline is called Child Help USA and their phone number is 1-800-422-4453. They can provide you with more information on what to do next when no one is really responding to your reports.

                        Also you said that you want to leave home, we’re not legal experts here, however typically in most states you are considered a minor since you are 15, therefor if you are to leave home, your parents have the right to file a runaway report, and typically if the police is to find you they return you home. Again, remember we are not legal experts. If you would like to know more about what would happen to you in your county, please feel free to give us a call and we would be more than happy to call out to your local police department with you.

                        If you have any more questions, or need someone to talk with you can feel free to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929.) We are here 24/7 and always available to talk to you. Good Luck!

                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          17 wanting to move out

                          I need help I'm 17 I'll be 18 in 7 months, but I've been wanting to move out since 15. My parents scream at me over everything, they do nothing to help me in any way possible my mother screamed at me because I told her I needed to go to the doctors bc I think I have strep throat and I'm also in severe need of dental care my teeth are severely crooked and I have really bad mouth pain because of it. I don't even remember the last time I went to the doctors or dentist. My parents barely support me most of my clothes have been bought by my friends bc I outgrew clothes and my parent never took me to get new clothes. They also have had a CPS case for abuse and drugs. I'm scared to leave though because of the way they treat me. I need to get out of this place, I'm starting to become suicidal again. And I've even told them I wanted to kill myself and my father told me to do it. But I refuse to end my life just because of my living situation. I plan to talk to my friends mom about moving in with her. I just need advice I'm stuck and really don't know what to do..

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            RE: 17 wanting to move out

                            Hello there,

                            Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like home is a tough place to be for you right now. As you mentioned, you feel your parents do not help you in the way that you may expect them to. It sounds like things have become overwhelming and you may currently be considering leaving home but you mentioned being scared because of the way that your parents treat you. How do your parents treat you? If you are ever in an unsafe situation, it is your right to contact 911 for immediate help. You also mentioned CPS being involved before. We are wondering what happened with all of this.

                            We are very glad you reached out for support during this difficult time, and we want to help as best as we are able to. You mentioned talking to a friend’s parent about maybe staying there. It sounds like you feel you can turn to them for some support which is great. With your parent's permission, generally you would be able to stay somewhere else even if it's for a little while. Perhaps your friend’s mom could help talk to your parents to see if things can be improved upon at home as well. We are not legal experts, but because you are under 18, your legal guardians must give permission for you to live elsewhere. If you leave home without permission, your parents may choose to file a runaway report to try to bring you back home. Additionally, if you went to your friend’s house and their mother did not try to get in contact with your guardians, they could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway. For specific, legal answers it may be best to reach out to local non-emergency police in your county to inquire more about how they handle situations such as the one you are in. We could always help you with this if you gave us a call.

                            You mentioned that you are starting to feel suicidal again. We are wondering if you have shared this with anyone. If you feel you need to talk about your thoughts and what you are currently going through, we are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). The National Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is another source of support you may benefit from.

                            We are wondering how you have been coping with everything at home. You seem to have great strength in all of this but may need someone to talk to for support as you stated you are unsure about what to do. We can help explore some options to help your situation and make sure you are safe with whatever you may decide to do.

                            Please know that you are not alone in all of this. We are only a phone call or chat away. We wish you the best and hope you stay safe.

                            Take care,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              17 years old

                              If I ran away from my house in ct an moved with my father in ny then ranaway again but still in ny an I was born in Harlem can I still be token away

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                re: 17 years old

                                Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is great that you are asking questions to make sure you are making the best informed decision for you. We want you to know that we are here to listen and to help in the best way that we can.

                                Although we aren’t legal experts, we can speak in general terms. Running away isn’t necessarily illegal. It is considered a status offense, meaning you haven't reached the age of majority yet and you would not be arrested unless you are on some type of parole or probation. Generally, if you leave without permission, your legal guardians or parents have the right of filing a runaway report, at which point police may begin looking for you, and may return you back if found. Now, the age of 17 could be such a gray area and authorities may not necessarily enforce it. The way this may be handled depends on the laws that apply to your state and the police’s discretion. One option you have is to call your local law enforcement and just ask hypothetically how they may handle this. You do not have to give identifying information to do this. If you would like assistance, you can call us and we can make a call out with you or on your behalf.

                                If you would like to talk further and explore more options, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat program that is available every day from 4:30 PM until 11:30 PM. We wish you the best of luck and hope to get your call or chat soon!

                                NRS
                                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                                National Runaway Safeline
                                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                                Comment

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