Im 16 and hate living at home if i run away can the police force me to go back?

[Guest]

I'm 16, I'll be 17 in November. The thing is that I want to move out of my parent's house living here is not safe for me anymore. every day I get yelled and its just I'm forced to be the maid and not the daughter. I have a little brother that hits me all the time. also living here is not good for my health I have very bad allergies, asthma, and my parents both smoke tobacco products and that's making my asthma worse. I go to the doctors at least 3 times a week for different health problems. Can I legally move out?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS! We really appreciate you explaining a bit about what’s going on at home with your parents.
It seems like there’s a lot of mistreatment and neglect going on at home. You definitely don’t deserve to be mistreated in any way. Your parents should be respecting the fact that you have asthma and taking your health seriously. It’s not illegal to runaway, so you can’t be arrested for it. Some states allow 17 year olds to move out of the house, but we advise youth to call into NRS. Then we can call out to your local police station to find out about their protocols. You are able to report the abuse to Child Help (800) 422-4453, or we can call together. Also, talking to your school teachers or counselors could give you added support too!
You’re being very brave! You’re never alone, we are open 24/7. Sometimes talking more about the situation could lead to different ideas being brainstormed. If you’re not able to call into us, we have a chatting service via our website.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

So I'm 16 years old living in Wisconsin currently but I'm really considering taking the bus and moving states. However it is vital that I do not get caught or found by the police. My parents died and I know the guardians I am living with would call the police. So I am wondering if the cops would look for me even in another state or if I would be okay. I have plentiful money and multiple places I could seek refuge in. If I didn't get caught until I'm 18 would I be able to continue my life normally? Or what would happen to my 18 year old self?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: So I'm 16 years old living in Wisconsin


Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

First let us say we are sorry for your loss.
We can only imagine how hard it must be for you.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent/Guardian permission.
If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway.

For more specifics on the law, contacting the local police non- emergency number or legal aid may be options to get some of the questions you had answered.
You might also consider contacting NRS in order to do a conference call to the police and you can listen in on the answers to questions you provide us.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Emancipation of minors is a legal mechanism by which a minor is freed from control by their parents or guardians, and the parents or guardians are freed from any and all responsibility toward the child. This may be the best option - go to the court, fill out the papers, and prove you can take care of yourself (friends can house you, get a part-time job, stay in school and graduate!). Also, under the McKinney-Vento Law, you can find assistance through the public school system to get housing, food, transportation, and school - some areas have places to live, like a dormitory, with free housing and food - there are "lights out" rules at these places, but they will help you graduate. There are many youth in your situation - please don't live on the streets - there are good solutions!

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us today. The information you gave was very useful! It's important to keep in mind, though, that filing for emancipation can be a tricky and long ordeal. You do have to go through a court system, you must have a job, and in some places you must have lived on your own without your parents in the past. You must prove that you can be as independent as an adult and that you can survive without your parents. This usually takes a couple of months, at the least. Every youth's situation is different so of course emancipation can look different for everything youth that applies!

You're right about the McKinney-Vento Law, it's a really great resource for youth who are homeless. Though youth must keep in mind that if they are runaways, schools may get into contact with their parents and let them know the youth's whereabouts. When it comes to places to live, this can really differ from state to state. Depending on where the youth is, there may not be a place to stay or a place that offers as many things as you have listed.

For us here at NRS, we try not to tell youth what to do, because we don't know all the facts and they know themselves and their lives better than we do. At the same time though, youths' safety is out main concern. We want to make sure that youth who decide to leave home are as safe as they possibly can be, so we recommend really thinking through a solid plan before leaving and looking into whatever resources they can find in order to make sure they aren't staying on the streets and have somewhere stable to go.

If you'd like to get into contact with us or if any youth has any questions about what you've said, feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help in the best way that we can!

[Guest]

Need help and opinions

I'm 15 years old and I can't live at home anymore. I desperately want to run away, but getting caught is not an option. I've made up a basic plan (VERY basic) but I'm not sure if it will work.

Im planning to run away while my family and I are on vacation. We live in Ohio, but are going to Michigan (Upper Peninsuela). We're staying for two weeks. I plan on leaving right after everyone has fallen asleep on our last day there. I know what to pack. My aim is to sneak across the Canadian border.

Im just really worried about getting caught. Any tips? Advice? Opinions?

[ccsmod15]

Hello,
Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have a pretty difficult situation at home, and we’re very sorry to hear this. There are a lot of things to consider when planning to run away, and safety is probably the most important. We are non-directive so we are not here to tell you what to do, but we want to help you consider some of the practical aspects of your plan.
You say you want to head to Canada while your family is on vacation. You may want to first determine how you will get to your destination. This trip may involve crossing a bridge which could be difficult. You will also need to present a valid passport when crossing the border. It is possible that border agents might not let an unaccompanied minor cross the border. We are certainly not here to judge you or your plan, we just want you to be safe.
Wherever you plan to go, you might want to think about where you would stay, how you would eat, and how you plan to keep yourself safe. These things can be very challenging so it is important to have solid plans before you leave.
We are also here to talk if you want to brainstorm about you plans or discuss what’s going on at home that makes you want to run away. All of our calls are confidential so you can talk about anything you might be experiencing. Also, if you find yourself in a dangerous or difficult situation, whether it’s at home on after you’ve left, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24 hours a day/7 days a week, and we want to help. We hope to hear from you soon. Please take care and stay safe.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 13 and i ran away cuz my mom treats me horribly.I feel guilty but i dont wanna go home. I just want my dad to take custody of me....

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. We're sorry you aren't treated well at home and that it's gotten so bad you felt like you had to run away. It sounds like you're feeling conflicted, you feel guilty but at the same time you do not want to go back home. That makes sense.

It seems like you want your dad to take custody of you. If you think that's a serious option for you one thing you can do is reach out to your dad and talk to him about it. You can have a conversation together about him taking custody of you and how it would work. It's likely that he would have to get into contact with a family lawyer in his area in order to make this work.

If you need anymore resources or just want to talk more about what you're going through please don't hesitate to reach out again! We want to make sure you have a safe place to stay since you mentioned you have already run away, so if you call us we can talk to you a bit about runaway laws and find some shelters for you if possible. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help in the best way that we can.

[Guest]

I’m 14 & I’ve lately been contemplating whether or not to run away from home. My mom is a single parent and I’m her only one. She was raised crucially as well and I guess you can say that was the only way she knew how to raise me being as how that was her way of getting raised by her mother. I’ve been abused mentally, physically and verbally since I could remember. I’m not going to lie and sit here and say I haven't had my faults because I have, and ill own up to that but at the same time, there's a fine line between "discipline" & abuse. I only have one person to go to for help, being my grandpa, considering my dad isn't around. We've made reports regarding some things she's done but CPS hasn't helped any. "Counseling" won't do much and anyone that has met my mother for 10 minutes can also evaluate. She’s left marks and bruises on me in the past and just recently being yesterday, she shoved me into a wall and made an enormous hole. I feel as if I’m trapped and can't do anything about it and I look to running away as an option. I have goals in life and my morals are straight. My Grades in school are always A's & B's (with the occasional high C), I want to join the military, I want to go to college, I have a goal, but I’m still the worst child out there for my mom. I live in Texas and I’ve been doing my own searches for what would happen to me and things as that. I guess my main question is, is if it’s reasonable to leave? Thank you for your time. I’d appreciate a response ASAP

[ccsmod4]

Reply:

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).
We appreciate you having the courage to reach out and explain your situation.
You don’t deserve to be abused mentally, physically, etc. by anyone. It is not your fault for what has been happening. You are not responsible for how others choose to behave.
We understand that you are not satisfied with the action or lack thereof by CPS but we ask that you consider not giving up. You have a right to be safe. It sounds like you have support from a relative and that’s great.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. By your accounts the abuse is continuing to happen and you are thinking about running away.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

If you would like to talk more in detail please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive, however we can explore some options with you.

We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i hate my life. im 14 and my parents aren't supportive with anything i do. even my friends. they call me things like useless and all sorts. they dont give me any chances to show my talents. what should i do?

[ccsmod7]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us. It was very brave of you to reach out. It sounds like you are in a tough and frustrating situation and are trying to figure out where to go from here. From what it sounds like, you are upset with your parents and how unsupportive they are and how hurtful they can be. You so deserve to be respected in your opwn home and we want to help.
If you haven't, you might try having a conversation with your parents or even your friends about their behavior towards you. You should be able to have your needs heard. You might include a trusted adult in on the conversation with your parents to help advocate for you. Unfortunately, we don’t know anything else on the situation you are in, so if you would like to call us here, we can discuss other options as well with you if you’d like, as well as answer any other questions you may have about where to go from here. One of the resources we have here at NRS is that we can conduct a conference call, which would be a call first to you, then to your parents, and then join the call together so everyone can come to an understanding and be on the same page.

You are always more than welcome to call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. We hope to hear from you soon!

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

hello. im 14 and my parents arnt supportive of anything i do. they are super strict. and because of that, my friends hate me. i want to run away from home but im scared to. what can i do? i cut myself sometimes because i dont want to face reality. why must i be born in this family?

[ccsmod15]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a really rough time. It can be hurtful to feel like you’re not being supported by your parents and to feel like your friends are abandoning you. It is brave of you to reach out for help.

It sounds like you are considering running away from home, but aren’t sure what that would look like. If you’d like to talk about some of the issues that you are facing at home, National Runaway Safeline is here 24/7 to talk about what you’re experiencing and to help explore your options with you.

One option might be to have a conversation with your parents and another adult that you trust – a teacher, coach, or another relative. It may be beneficial to have someone outside of the situation help you and your parents communicate.

If you call us at 1-800-runaway, we can also explore other coping mechanisms with you. Another resource that might be useful to you is To Write Love On Her Arms – twloha.com – they can help you with some of the self-harm issues you are experiencing.

Best of luck to you in this difficult time and we hope to hear from you soon.

[Guest]

I am 17 and I go through too much for my age, my mother leaves for hours and leave me home alone without eating sometimes. She doesn't support me in anything I do, she doesn't want me going to college or leave after I finish high school. This environment is not good for me I need help getting out sooner what can I'd do?!

[ccsmod6]

Hi,
Thank for reaching out to us at national Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are really stressful at home with your mom. No one deserves to be neglected. We are sorry you are going through this and are glad you reached out to us.
We are not legal experts, but we can give you some ideas of what might happen if you chose to leave before turning 18. It’s not illegal to run away from home, but it is a status offense due to your age. What that means is that if your mom filed a runaway report and the police found out where you were, they would most likely bring you back home. Sometimes when a youth is approaching their 18th birthday, the police will choose not to accept a runaway report, or will not actively pursue the youth. If you wanted support in calling the police, we also offer conference calls, where we could call the police with you and help advocate for you to get your questions answered.
Emancipation might also be an option. Places like a local Legal Aid agency, as well as possibly your county’s juvenile court services, are better equipped to let you know whether you would be eligible for emancipation in your state. If you’d like help finding specific resources, please don’t hesitate to reach out by phone or via chat. We are available via phone 24/7 at 1.800.RUNAWAY (786.2929), every day from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST via chat. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to support you in however you choose to approach your situation. We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Stay safe!
-NRS

[Guest]

Hey I am a 16 year old, living in a house with severely abusive parents. My parents consistently abuse me, this includes verbal, and physical abuse. I have gotten bruises multiple times, my parents are generally against anything I want to do, I was running a successful online business making decent money a month, and my parents forced me to shut it down, saying it was a waste of time. They value education to the highest regard, and believe that a bad grade deserves abuse. My grades are generally good, but my parents get super irritated when I loose a few points here and there. They take out anything they can on me, and refuse to listen to anything is say. My dad threw a boot at me once, and I had a huge bruise on my face for almost a week. Life is absolute hell, I can't do anything and have any freedom. My parents are rich so they throw gifts at me, and that masks up how they truly are, and people outside don't know much since my parents are angels when outside. Ive already approached my counselor, and gone to cps, both regarded this as trivial and could be solved. I can't say I have been in the clear, and I have made mistakes in my life, and am short tempered. However I have never done drugs or done anything of that sort, or ever drank. I dont know what to do, and at this point I want to leave. I can say I'm generally smart, and can navigate myself in life fairly well. I am a very approachable person, and can take a job as I already have a few offers from our local restaurants, but my parents say its lowly. I feel there are so many flaws in their thinking and I can never succeed in life living here, it would also mean leaving an abusive household, where rights are not respected. When I mention rights, and how what my dad does is illegal he goes to say **** the government, **** the constitution, and you have no rights while you are in our house. Its gotten really bad, and I need to find out if running away is an option, and what to do after that, and advice would help.

[ccsmod6]

Hello there,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that your parents have been verbally and physically abusive towards you. Nobody deserves to be treated this way and you definitely have the right to feel safe at your home. It also sounds like being at home is really hard right now because you and your parents disagree on a definition of success and you feel that they don’t respect the job opportunities you are interested in pursuing. You also mentioned that you are thinking about running away. This must be a very difficult situation and it is very brave of you to reach out for help.

If you do not feel safe at home and would be interested in making another abuse report, you can call child protective services directly and they may begin by investigating the situation again. The National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453) also has specific resources to help youth who might be experiencing abuse at home. If you do not feel comfortable filing another report at this time, you may want to consider making a safety plan or talking to a trusted adult about your situation. You also asked specifically about whether running away is an option. It is not illegal for a youth to runaway. However, if you stay with someone over the age of 18, they could potentially be charged with harboring a runaway. We are not sure if there is way to make living at home tolerable right now, but if you provide us with your city/state, we can also try to help find some counseling or support services in your area.

Again, it is great that you reached out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now and it is great that you are reaching out for help and trying to explore your options. If you would like to talk more about your situation directly, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi im 15 and I live an abusive mother. My dad tries to help but nothing really works. I want to go to a real school but she wont let me and is making me fail the 8th grade. I've already ran away before but my dad talked me to coming back home. She yells at me almost every day and tells me im nothing. ive also considered suicide but never really did anything. im thinking of running away again. ive also looked up if i could live with my grandparents on my dad side. they have been helping me alot but they live in a different state. should i just pack my bags and go?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to NRS, that is very courageous of you. We are non-directive, which basically means that we cannot tell you what to do. You know your situation better than we do, but we can assist you in exploring your options. It sounds like your mother has been abusing you and interfering with your education. No one has the right to harm you, not even your mother. If you would like to explore options of reporting the abuse, Child Help could be a useful resource for you (1-800-422-4453).You mentioned that you thought about committing suicide before but never acted on it. Talking through your problems with someone may be a way to cope with any feeling of self-harm. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) offers resources and support.

You mentioned that you could live with grandparents, it sounds like you have a good relationship with them. Have you thought about asking your parents if you could move in with them? One thing to keep in mind is if your parents file a runaway report, the police could find you and return you home. Another thing that you may want to consider is that your grandparents could get in trouble for harboring a runaway if you leave without getting your parent’s permission first.

Thanks again for contacting us here at NRS. We wish you the best of luck.
If you would like to further this conversation, please feel free to contact us via email, live chat, or our 24 crisis hotline. 1-800-786-2929.

[Guest]

I just turned 17 about a month ago, and I've been contemplating running away from home. My mom and I have had our problems over the past year or so, and recently, she's been telling me that I can "pack my things and move in with my boyfriend." If I move out, will my boyfriend and/or I get into trouble?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to help.

You mentioned that you are considering running away to your boyfriend’s home because you are having some problems with your mom. We are sorry to hear this is going on. You deserve to be in an environment where you feel happy, supported, and understood.

One thing to consider is that if you run away from home, your mom can file you as a runaway. This means that if you come in contact with the police, they can try to bring you back home, or they may bring you to a youth shelter or try to initiate a mediation between you and your mom. Running away is not illegal; it is considered a status offense so this means that charges would not be brought against you. Alternatively, if your mom is in agreement with the idea for you to live with your boyfriend, this can be done if she gives permission and if she doesn’t report you as a runaway if she changes her mind.

Please don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via our live chat at 1800runaway.org so that we can provide more direct support and explore additional options with you to help you with your situation at home. We are here 24/7 to give you support.

[Guest]

I'm 17 and my parents are taking over my life completely past the point of caring. They are controlling every single thing I do the keep going on about some sort of blanket protection order "they have on me" therefore I am apparently not allowed to run away or leave home without there permission if I do sk the police can take me straight home to them. My boyfriend has recently moved back to romania and I was wondering if I could run away there and if the police would still manage to get me back to england.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today!

Sounds like you are going through so much right now. Unfortunately we are based in the United States and do not know what international runaway laws look like. Your might reach out to the UK's Childline: https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/.

Best of luck to you and we are sorry we are unable to help.

-NRS