Im 16 and hate living at home if i run away can the police force me to go back?

[Guest]

Running away at age 16

i want to run away from my family and stay at a friends or gfs place. My family is sick and they are absolute mosnters and they have cause me to have depression and etc but they have also threatened to hurt me because i am gay. Im planning to run away, but im scared the police will find me and get the person who i am staying with in trouble, or they might send me to another parent in another country, and i dont want that. Please help

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out to us! It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time with your parents, and we’re here to help in whatever way we can. You deserve to be accepted and respected by your family, definitely not threatened.

You have a few options when it comes to running away. First off, I do want to mention that we’re not legal experts, but we can at least go through what typically happens in these situations. It’s not illegal to runaway, but if your parents file a runaway report, then the police may return you to your parents. Also, if you stay with someone that is NOT a minor, then that person could be charged with harboring a minor. However, in it varies from area to area how the police respond.
Without knowing too much, the way you’ve described your father’s reaction to you being gay could be considered abusive. In this case you could file an abuse report against your parents. There’s no guarantee what the outcome would be though in these situations. If you wanted to call we could discuss this further and help you file the report if that’s the route you decided to go. Also, if you’d like to discuss your situation with a group that specifically deals with LGBTQ+ youth, the LGBT National Youth Talkline (1-800-246-7743) is a great option.

Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help, and it’s good that you’re exploring your options and making sure you make the best decision. If you want to talk further about your situation, please feel free to call or chat with us.

[Guest]

I'm 16 and I hate living at home. My dad is mean and he threatens to hit us and my mom is scared of him she sometimes doesn't do anything. They don't let us spend time with friends or even have sleepovers and I understand that because they don't know the people but we're just teens and want to have fun sometimes. And I'm a good kid I've never ran away or sneaked out at night but I think about it a lot but I don't have the balls to actually do it. And my parents want to move to Texas but I don't want too I have all my friends here and it hurts to move away. I don't want too

[ccsmod15]

Hey there!

Thanks for contacting us here at NRS! We really appreciate you reaching out to us during this difficult time. The situation that you’re in with your parents sounds very stressful. It can be so hard when your living environment is so threatening and restrictive.

Our first concern is your safety. You mentioned that your dad threatens to hit you and your siblings. Hitting any of you is legally considered physical abuse. If he does this, you may call the police or Child Protective Services to investigate. You can even call the police or CPS if he continues to threaten you. Threatening physical harm is very serious especially when it is done by a legal guardian. If you want more information about this such as what would happen if you did or how to go about it, here is a resource:

Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline)
1-800-422-4453

https://www.childhelp.org

If you choose to run away, there are some legalities that you may need to know—mainly runaway laws. We are not legal experts, but runaway laws can differ from state to state, county to county. The first one to consider is the one that exclusively applies to yourself as a minor. Running away is considered a status offense and is not illegal. It will not be put on your permanent record. However, the juvenile court system may get involved although this happens more in chronic runaway cases. Your parents will have to go to your local police station to fill out a runaway report. This will put the police on the lookout for you and if they find you, they will bring you back to your parents. The second runaway law is called harboring a runaway. This is a misdemeanor applying to anyone 18 or over. If you are found in their home they may be charged with this. If you run away to a friend’s house, their parents may be charged with this.

You said your parents might move to Texas and you don’t want to. Unfortunately, because they are your legal guardians you may not have much of an option with this. Would they be willing to let you stay in your state with some family or friends so that you can’t continue at the same school with your friends? Would they be willing to talk about the impact that moving would have on you emotionally and academically? We are guessing that since you are 16 you are finishing up either your sophomore or junior year. You could stress to them that the pressure of starting up at a new school would be detrimental to you doing well academically.

It may help if you check in with the school counselor about everything that is going on. The school counselor might be a good resource to vent to. The counselor also may be a good advocate for you if your parents consider moving to Texas more seriously. They may be able to help persuade your parents for you to stay behind.

We think you are handling yourself admirably in this situation. Thank you for advocating for yourself and protecting your siblings. It is incredible and brave that you are holding up so well. You are right—you are a good kid and you deserve so much better than the treatment you are receiving. If you need someone vent to or to talk about more options, please call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We would love to hear from you. We wish you the best.

We’re rooting for you!

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 16 and currently living in Southern California, and I'm considering in running away.

I know that my parents and other significant others in my life love me, but I have gone through so much ******** in the last couple of months that I am absolutely done. My best friend of eight years has clearly developed some mental illness and is threatening suicide and I cannot convince him out of it, another friend Orion has been trying to quit abusing substances and has become a complete mess, his brother Tyler nearly died from alcohol poisoning last week after he stole liquor from my house, my friend Will has recently been diagnosed with chromes disease and his medication has warped him into an absolute monster. I tried to help all these people and all it has brought me is hell. My grades have dropped significantly and its ruining my future, why does bad stuff happen to good people??? All the stress made me pick up smoking and that's just another burden. I have honestly contemplated killing myself, but I know that I'd be sent to a psych ward and I do not want to be trapped in a jail that will make everything worse, so I'm seriously considering in running away. I can't deal with this anymore. I have access to a significant amount of cash and I could probably end up staying at a friends house for a couple of days before moving on to the next area. Should I do it?

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help you in the best way we can. From what you shared, it sounds like you are ready to leave home. It is understandable that you would want to leave and be free from all of the stress and despair that is surrounding you. We are not going to tell you that you should or should not runaway. We are here to try to provide you with support and resources so that if you do decide to leave home, you are doing it intelligently and safely. So if running away is something that you really want to do then you are more than welcome to give us a call and we can talk about all of your options and help you come up with a safety plan.
It really sounds like you are at the end of your rope and we do not want you to lose hope. If you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself or others please call 911. Alternatively if you would like to talk to someone about the way that you have been feeling you can always call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-TALK they may be able to help you more because this is their area of expertise. They can help direct you towards support and or services for your needs. In the meantime, we hope that you can give us a call directly to get some emotional support. 1-800-786-2929
Be Safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 15 but my parents are divorced and i have a visitation schedule i hate living with my dad if i run away is it against the law in Texas? If the police find me can they make me go back home?

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to us today. We're sorry you hate living with your dad, we realize how difficult living with a parent you do not like can be. Divorces can be really hard on youth, and we're glad you are reaching out for help before making any serious decisions!

So when a youth leaves home before the age of 18 their guardian could file a runaway report with their local police department. Running away is not illegal - but it is considered a status offense. This means that the police would be looking for you and would have to take you back home if they found you, but you would not be arrested and it would not go on your record.

If you do not like living with your dad one option you could consider is living with your other parent. You can talk to your other parent about custody and see if they can get full custody of you. It also doesn't hurt to talk to your other parent about what exactly makes you uncomfortable about living with your dad to see if there's anything you all can do about it.

We wish you the best of luck with everything! If you want to talk more about what you're going through please don't hesitate to reach out again. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and see what else we can do for you.

[Guest]

• Hi,
• I am 16 and really want to get out of my home. Things are very complex, my neighbor and my mother had a fight which led me to a head beating. My mother increases the neighbors rage and ends up sparking dramas constant. I feel my well being is indanger, unfortunately I need a full out plan to get out because of court stuff with my father. I can't live with my father because he it is life treating to do so. I have no other family members around and no friends that are able to lend a place to stay. I wouldnt like police involved any more then they already have been, police have suppored to have a restraining order on my neighbor but I know that my neighbor isnt a person to back down an that i believe it has just sparked a bigger fight and I feel im gonna get the knock outs for it. Is there any way at all to have another option please???

Thank you

Post Reply

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out.

Sounds like home is an unsafe place for you with your mom and your neighbor. You do not deserve to be harmed in anyway, and it is not okay that their arguments result in you being harmed. Here at NRS, your safety and wellbeing is our top priority.

It makes sense that you do not want to get police involved again, please know that you can always call 911 if you are in immediate danger. They are the ones that can get to you the fastest, and you mentioned feeling like you are in danger.

You mentioned that the fighting between your mother and neighbor resulted in a head beating for you. No one deserves to be harmed like that, and you do have the right to report abuse going on in your home. If your neighbor hit you rather than your mom, that would be something that is reportable to police. If it is your mom that is harming you, you do have the right to report abuse in the home to Child Protective Services (CPS). If CPS investigates and finds the abuse highly dangerous, you would be removed from your home. CPS should take head injuries seriously. To learn more about reporting abuse, you might contact the expert child advocates at Child Help 1-800-422-4453. If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we can help you make that report if you are interested in doing so.

You are right, your situation does sound really complex. Unfortunately, it is a little hard to understand with your post so we might be missing important details. If you call or chat us, we can have a more fluid conversation and get a better idea of your situation. With a better idea of your situation, we might be able to brainstorm additional options for you. So please do not hesitate to reach out to us via phone or chat. Again, your safety is so important and we truly want to help.

Stay safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi, my name is Alexus and i was wondering, should i run away from home or should i stay home. I love my mom a lot, i would stand in front of a bullet for her but at the same time, i hate her so much.she treats me horribly. Plz answer this soon as possible

[ccsmod4]

Reply:Hi, my name is Alexus

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.

It sounds like you are having some issues with your mother that have you thinking about running away.
Sometimes things can get so frustrating that it is hard to figure out just what to do.
We are glad you reached out. Good job. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be well,
NRS
l

[Guest]

I'm 16, I live in maine and my mother is emotionally and mentally abusive. She has told me if I was to leave she'd kill herself...rather than getting emancipated because im scared she will...is it okay to temporarily live with say my mom's friend? (my mom's friend only talks to her so she can have me around)

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I'm 16

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
Some situations can be disappointing and even upsetting thus making things uncertain about what to do or where to turn. You don’t deserve to be emotionally manipulated with threats of self-harm.
We understand this must be hard for you and we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

Since your mom is your guardian most likely you would need her permission to live somewhere other than your home. Keep in mind we are not legal experts and are only speaking in general terms.
NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.
Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 13 and I ran away but I don't know where to go

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us hear at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re thinking about running away and may have already left home. We want you to be safe, and want to help.
If you call us here at the NRS on our 24/7 Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us during chat hours, we can help you work through your options and look for resources. We’re not legal experts here, but if you’ve left home, your parents could file a runaway report. If they do, the police can investigate and may return you home. You need a safe place to stay, maybe a friend or family member you trust would be an option?
We want to help, if you call us here on our 24/7 Safeline we can learn more about your situation, and discuss the options you have in your situation. Please be safe, we’ll look forward to hearing from you soon. Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 years old and I want to leave my home and leave the area because at the place I am at (which is technically my home but I don't think of it as home) I am constantly getting yelled at, I am getting controlled and yelled at for the simplest things and I can't do teenage things without being scared of what my parents and what they would do. If I try defending my self when I speek and I know I am right they will get angry and i feel like I am just the child that is in the house that they don't care as much about and that they care about my younger sister more. Also my parents are divorced and I go to both house but they both get angry at me and I often feel unwanted, unhappy, depressed and I don't know what to do , I have no money to run away and have no friends that I can runaway to there house, but I really want to leave and I am sure that I am somewhat depressed. I really need advice on what to do and how to leave eventhough i don't have money or a vechile or license to do so.

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We found this response that we think might be able to give you some more information about your situation. This is a response that we have previously posted to another user with a similar situation.
If you have any more questions you are more than welcome to call us anytime. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Re: Running away

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have been going through a lot at home and we are sorry to hear about this. It has got to be really hard to be living in an unstable home and we are here to help you out the best that we can.

So it sounds like you are thinking about running away and starting a new life where no one knows you. It is understandable that you would want to do this if you are not feeling that home is a safe or good environment for you. You have asked us if you can make it, and if this is possible. Here at National Runaway Safeline we do not tell anyone what to do, because you know your situation better than we do. We are not going to tell you whether you should leave home or stay home, we are just going to try our best to help you stay safe in whatever decision you make. With that being said, do you have a plan as to how or when you would leave home, and where you would go specifically? There are a few things that can be helpful to keep in mind when trying to make this decision:

What else can I do to improve my home situation before I leave?
What would make me stay at home?
How will I survive?
Is running away safe?
Who can I count on to help me?
Am I being realistic?
Have I given this enough thought?
What are my other options?
If I end up in trouble, who will I call?
When I return home, what will happen?

If you would like to talk more about what has been going on at home and your situation, we are here to listen and here to support you the best that we can.

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here: http://www.nrschat.org:88/chat/UserP...&d=&u=&bypass=



National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NRSOnlineServicesSurvey

[Guest]

Hi I'm 17 years old and I want to stay at my friends mum house for 4 day. Can I do it without my mum's permission and can my friends mum get in trouble if I stay?

[ccsmod1]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

[Guest]

I'm 16 & i want to leave home. I'm planning to live with my 21year old boyfriend. We are thinking about leaving the U.S & live at Mexico. Can the police do something about it?

[ccsmod10]

Hey there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
It sounds like you’re thinking about running away with your boyfriend. We are not legal experts so we don’t know what consequences you might face or take into consideration should you run away and be caught. This information might be available to obtain from your local police department. Running away isn’t something you can be arrested for, however, adults you stay with while on the run can be charged with Harboring a Runaway. If you are interested you might considering contacting the non-emergency number to your local police department and asking about the runaway laws in your state. NRS has options involving a conference call, so we can reach out together to your local police department.

Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center, or use our chatting services via our website. So the best way to tell us everything would be to just call into our hotline and talk to one of our trained liners. NRS is a non-directive organization, so we aren’t here to give out advice, because you know your situation a lot better than we do.

Stay safe, NRS

[Guest]

I'm at and want to run away from home because they are going to try and stop me from seeing my girlfriend, can the police make me come home even if I don't want to live there no more?

[ccsmod6]

Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to reach out to us tonight. Sorry your parents aren't letting you see your girlfriend. We understand how difficult that must be.

Unfortunately if you leave home without your parents permission and they file a runway report, the police will have to bring you back home, even if you don't want to go back home. They may sit and talk to you about why you do not want to go back home, though.

If you need anything else or want to tell us more about your situation please don't hesitate to reach out to us again. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are 24/7 so someone will always be here to answer and help in the best way that we can. We wish you the best of luck with everything.

[Guest]

I don't want to be here at this moment.


This all started with a puppy named Koda. My friend gave Koda to me because he was a stray and needed a home, so I took him in. The day after I got him I told my parents and I said I would help out with the money and the pup and they agreed to let him stay here. I recently got out of a relationship with my ex boyfriend of almost 4 years and so I've been dealing with that on my own. As a way to cope with the break up I started going on runs and hanging out with friends to distract myself. My mom started getting upset with me saying that I'm not helping her out with the dog and she's tired from work and I'm over here living my life.

4 days go by and I continue working on myself because I'm at that point in my life where I feel like I really need to focus on myself to make me a better person, and I realized I didn't have time to take care of a puppy when I needed to take care of me. My mom came in my room on the 3rd night reallly pissed at me saying I'm the one who has to give the dog away, "this is all my fault this happened and I have no one to blame but myself". She then continued saying how she ,"doesn't care about what I'm going through and I'm just running to my dad because he is the only person who isn't mad at me" which that last part is not true, I hung out with my dad because I needed someone to talk to and I haven't seen him in awhile. She then tells me ," Everyone is pissed at you, you really dropped the ball on this one, nobody wants to see or talk to you" so now my family wants nothing to do with me because I didn't help out with this puppy enough.

Fast forward a day and I managed to find a new & better home for the pup and he's with a friend who is really good with dogs and he looks happy. After I gave the dog away my mom told me I had to come home and proceeded to tell me all the stuff she told me the night before and at this point I was over the whole talking because I feel like this is getting blown out of proportion. She then tells me that I need to apologize for deeply hurting everyone because I wasn't helping out with the puppy and how everyone else was on board with taking care of him, except for me. She told me that I needed to vacuum the whole house and wash her car and left me alone until she went to sleep for work.

It was around 9:30 on the 4th of July 2017, and I finally got outside to wash the car because my mom wanted me to wait until it's not super hot so the soap doesn't stick. I go out there, I have my towel, the soap and I'm filling a bucket up with water and my step dad comes out saying ," what are you doing ??" And I replied ," washing the car" and he was like ," No, you're not doing that not while the fireworks are going , no " and I said ," but mom told me to" and he's like," I don't care, no, go inside I don't even want you out here, I don't even want to look at you or speak to you" and I went inside.

My family has made it very clear that they don't want anything to do with me because I didn't help out with this puppy and gave him away like they told me to. I don't feel comfortable living here at this moment and I think it'd be best if I left for a few days or a week to let things cool down a tiny bit. Me personally I think this whole thing is unnecessary but to them they think treating me like this is justified. If they don't want to look or speak to me then I believe I shouldn't be here right now and I can spend the nights at a friends house. My mom was a runaway at the age of 16, and I am also 16 and I don't feel like she would report me, but I'm on here for some advice/help.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today.

Sounds like you are not wanting be home, since things really escalated with the puppy. Sounds like you were doing what you needed to do for yourself during this difficult time with your break up, and you knew that you could not take on the responsibility of a puppy. You sound really self-aware and mature to make that difficult, responsible decision. You were right to concentrate on your own mental health. It seems incredibly hurtful that your mom cannot see what you are going through, and that she keeps saying such harsh things to you.

We encourage you to continue thinking about your mental health and self-care through running and surrounding yourself with supportive friends. You can always call us if you are need support at 1-800-RUNAWAY. If you would like to talk about a hotline about your past relationship you might also reach out to Love is Respect 1-866-331-8453. If are still feeling down you might look into counseling, we have a database of counseling resources if you ever need. We are have a conference call service if you ever wanted to have a mediated conversation with your mom with us on the phone. You so deserve to be heard by your mom.

It sounds like your mom got attached to the puppy, and is taking it out on you right now. While it is understandable that she liked the puppy, you and your wellbeing is so much more important than keeping the puppy in the house. You did the right thing by finding a great home for it. If your mom continues to make you feel unwelcomed or wants you to leave, you might ask friends and extended family if you could stay with them if needed. Our database also includes shelter resources if you ever need those. Please keep our number in mind if you are ever planning on leaving, we could help keep you safe and talk about what leaving home might look like for you.

If you call or chat us, we can talk through your situation, provide support, brainstorm your options, and look for those resources for you.

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best,

NRS